“I won’t, I’m sorry Hayley. It was stupid, and irresponsible. I really didn’t mean to upset you. I’m fine though, the baby’s fine too.”
“Yes, but what if you’d got lost, hurt yourself, fallen over? So much could have happened.” She was almost crying again and yet irritation wormed through me. I had survived long enough on my own, endured far worse than a thunderstorm. I wasn’t made of glass.
“Hayley.” She looked up at me, and I almost faltered, but if I didn’t stand up for myself now, I never would. “I spent years alone, Hayley, when everyone I loved was taken from me. I’m not a child, please don’t treat me like one. I’ve apologised, I know I should have thought, I didn’t, I was wrong. But if I want to go for a walk in the rain, then I will.”
It was as though I had delivered a blow to her face. I pinched my thigh under the table, digging in my nails and clearing the emotions that filled me. Expecting her to shout or cry again, I steeled myself, shutting down and smoothing my face to a mask. I hated to think what I looked like, what I had become yet again.
“Oh Kate, I’m sorry. I don’t want you feeling like a child, I’m sorry. I know you’ve been through so much.” The pain in my thigh spread now, up my side, across my ribs and back and settling in my skull where the start of a headache bloomed. “Just, please, the radio. I don’t want to fight about this, and I don’t want to patronise you. You mean so much to me, and to Glen.”
As she hugged me, I forced myself to relax and pat her back clumsily. We both continued to utter futile and now empty apologies until Glen walked in, tutted, called us daft and pulled Hayley into an embrace, muttering for forgiveness for his moodiness. They disappeared upstairs and I cleared up the kitchen. As the giggles and bangs grew louder I struggled to block them out and sifted through the CDs until an old album of favourite rock anthems caught my eye: that would do. At the chessboard I tutted, shook my head, slid my knight across the board and dropped his bishop in the wooden box. Humming to the songs I scrubbed the kitchen, dusted the living room and dining area, and washed the windows inside and out.
It was a good three hours before they re-appeared downstairs, carefree and glowing. Together we walked to the town hall. Simon had called an Enforcer meeting and invited several of the residents along, including me.
Settling into the corner next to Hayley, I was relieved to see that he didn’t sit at the top table and instead he moved all the chairs into a large circle and took a seat directly opposite me. Nikky entered with a few of the wives, tradesmen, and then, finally, the Henleys. Deven looked tired, but he smiled and laughed and charmed his way around the room, his husband close behind; smiling and waving as he always did.
The seats were filled, and the Enforcers stood around the room behind us. Shifting my weight on the chair, I was able to see the outline of who stood behind me: it was Paulina’s husband, Mick? Or Mike? I counted over thirty Enforcers in their khaki shirts and black combats, outnumbering us two to one. Most of them were ex-military and police; that’s the way Simon liked it. Those who weren’t, like Glen, were men with excellent local knowledge and a healthy set of usable skills. Their guns were visible in the holsters at their hips, why were they armed? I glanced at Glen, who stood behind Simon with his hands clasped behind his back and a frown on his face. He shook his head at me, the tiniest of movements.
“I’ll keep it brief. I got back yesterday from Blackwood and it’s been decided that the security team on the perimeter will be reduced from a twenty man, twelve hour rotating pattern to a ten man team. Those released ten Enforcers will move to wandering and gathering supplies for the school and library.” He glanced at me and held my gaze, his face impassive. “This isn’t up for discussion or votes. It’s been decided.”
“Wait a minute Si, you can’t just—”
“I can, and I have.” He cut off Roger Henley. “It’s decided.”
“Simon, really…”
As Roger started to speak again, the Enforcers around the room moved: some grabbed their handgun hilts, others crossed their arms or gripped the back of the seats. My stomach lurched and my legs shook and head swam. A coup? Now?
“My men want a life away from patrolling the border to the town. In the last two and a half years we’ve never been attacked. Why? Those in the Unlands know we’re strong and unafraid. They know that they are welcome here upon surrendering their weapons. We have no significant crime. Why? The Enforcers. Who ensures that the communication network between towns and gangs is open and transparent? Us. My men have built links, groups and Enforcers for hire across the entire country, ensuring that you are safe and cared for. They deserve more than they’re getting.” He stopped and sat back, crossing his arms and frowning at us all.
“Just what’s going on here, Simon? Why the guns?” It was Deven who spoke, and they shared a look. I glanced at Roger, who appeared oblivious.
“Mr Henley,” replied Simon. “Many of my men have come to me over the last few weeks, angered and upset that their request for reduced security was denied. And now they are to look for books on top of their usual job role.” He shot me a derisory sneer. Now I knew why I had been invited. “While I agree with the principle, and admire Katherine and Nicola’s enthusiasm, I told you I didn’t have the numbers to sustain everything, and Blackwood is now in agreement and they suggested a compromise. Nicola.” He turned. Her face was deathly pale and her eyes darted around the room like a trapped and frightened rabbit. “Over the next couple of months I have to do several supply runs and trades with the other town. Their teachers have agreed to help you set up a proper timetable and syllabus and share teaching aids. I suggest you come with me and spend some time in their school.”
“Simon, this is highly inappropriate.” Mr Henley spoke, but there was no fight in his voice.
“Nicola? What do you think?”
She stared at the Enforcers with their guns, at Henley’s face and Simon’s wide and empty smile.
“Okay.”
And so it was decided, she’d be leaving me for ten days a month for the next three months, but Simon had promised that the ten relieved Enforcers would be transferred to wandering for books and school supplies. Every cloud has a silver lining. That was the saying, wasn’t it?
Chapter Seventeen
That night I wished I lived alone. I lay in bed listening to the shouting through the walls. Hayley screamed at Glen to stop enforcing and start labouring, but Glen didn’t want to, his low voice made it hard for me to hear, but several times he repeated the word restraint… out there… kids. They continued until the early hours. His involvement in the Enforcers’ show of strength had upset Hayley. I heard my name several times and each time clasped my hands over my ears and counted – childish, but I didn’t want to know what they said about me.
Eventually, with a slamming of doors and a volley of curses, it quietened. I crept from my bed and stared out of the window. Glen marched away down the shingled path towards the beach, and then sat on the sand with his head between his knees. He looked defeated.
“Kate, are you all right?”
I jumped. Hayley stood in my doorway, puffy faced with red-rimmed eyes, clutching a handkerchief.
“I’m fine. I heard you both arguing.” I glanced back outside. “Glen’s sat on the beach.”
“Oh don’t you worry about us. That wasn’t an argument. You should hear some of the arguments we’ve had. Good God. We’d rattle the windows sometimes with the shouting!” She blew her nose loudly, her voice wobbling as she tried to smile, but failed.
Instinctively, I walked over and held her, she cried again and I ignored the anxiety trying to swallow me as she held me back.
“Will Glen be ok?”
“He’s under a lot of stress, I’ve not seen him like this for a long while. I just wish he’d open up and tell me what’s on his mind. This is killing me.” She cried again and I continued to hold her, looking out my window at Glen’s hunched form.
I slept in the following morning,
a rarity for me. When I finally woke the house was quiet and empty. There was a note.
Gone into town. Glen’s with Simon. Breakfast in the oven.
A smiley face at the end and a huge kiss made me grin, and, peering into the oven I sighed with happiness: bacon and scrambled eggs. I opened the kitchen door and allowed the light and cool air to sweep through the house. It was quiet outside but for the water and the seagulls. Soon though the crunch of gravel drowned the birds and a dark shadow filled the room.
“Morning, Kate.”
It was Nikky. I pushed my empty plate away and invited her in, flicking on the kettle as I did.
“I leave this afternoon. I’m going to miss the Easter egg hunt. I was looking forward to that. Will you plant the eggs and do the clues for me?”
“Of course.”
“Paulina’s coming with me, her husband is in the convoy so it makes sense. Glen’s coming too. I didn’t think Hayley would want him going again so soon.”
Nikki didn’t want to go, and over the following hour she told me repeatedly how she was scared. She hadn’t left the town since the Enforcers had arrived, about the same time the council had been set up and the renovations started. In a way I envied her fear at the unknown world and the Unlands.
“I wanted you to meet the class before I go. I haven’t started anything concrete yet, and only had a few mornings with the kids, normally before you start work in the library. In case they turn up when I’m gone I thought it would be nice for them to say hello.”
“Sounds great.” I scribbled a note to Hayley telling her where I was and left with Nikky.
Scanning the rock pools, my heart sank a little: Tom must have come and gone already. I loved how close we were to the beach – only the cottages were closer, and everything in this part of the town was compact and clean; but the further we walked towards the library and the centre, the dirtier the buildings became, salt stained with rusted and ill-maintained metal framed windows. The plan was to replace the windows in this older part of town with the units from the northern sector. It made sense, I guess. As she told me about the background of some of the children I nodded and tried to concentrate, but the dark outlines of the Enforcers patrolling the streets distracted me. They were out early today. They were armed as well.
It was a little after nine a.m. when we got the library, and already there were three teenage boys waiting outside.
“Morning lads. Josh, Mo, Lee – this is Kate. She’s sorting the library out so we have lots of books to read.”
I forced a smile at the three boys, who grunted their replies. I think they said hello.
“Josh lives next door to the Henleys with his mum, and Mo and Lee live with Artie, the builder, they sort of apprentice with him, don’t you?” Nikky opened the library door and ushered us in. Mo and Lee nodded in response as they stared around the library.
“Cool window, Miss Daniels.” Lee nodded at the curved and shaped window frame. “That’s old, right?”
“Very early 1900s, so yes, quite old. Art Nouveau I think.”
“Yeah, it’s cool,” he repeated, looking pleased with himself.
Nikky chatted to them while I stood next to her smiling and nodding. It wasn’t long before others arrived, mums and guardians escorting in the younger children. There were more than we initially thought: forty-six in total, ranging from three to nearly sixteen. Mr Henley’s daughter was the oldest and the moment she saw the three boys, her scowl was replaced by a grin and wave.
Over the next few hours I was introduced to so many children that I forget all their names. All except a little boy who solemnly shook my hand and introduced himself as ‘Alan Philip Olney’, before adding that he was six years old and he loved apples but hated peas. I shook his hand and promised to bring him an apple the next time he came to see me.
Nikky was amazing with the children. Some of the parents stayed and watched. Nothing fazed her. She told them that she was going to get books and crayons, toys and teaching aids and would be back soon, but she made her audience part of her speech, inviting them to talk and discuss where she was going. She had already introduced maths into the morning by calculating the distance and time aloud. None of the children had an education to speak of, though they seemed keen, and their enthusiasm cheered me.
Late in the morning my attention was drawn to the door; Simon was staring at us. I placed my hands on my bump.
“How’s the baby, Katherine?” Simon asked.
“Fine.”
“I’m glad. A new baby will be wonderful and just what the town needs.”
I went to stand: I didn’t like him looming over me. My ledger slipped from my lap and instinctively I bent down to pick it up, my top riding up at the back as I did. I pulled it down quickly, placing the ledger on my desk as I glanced at his face. It was blank, as always.
“Is there anything you need, Katherine? From the other town? They have a lot more supplies.”
“No, thank you.”
“What about for the baby? Do you need clothes? Nursery equipment?”
Disliking this sudden interest, I shook my head and stepped back, creating space between us. He smiled, his eyes creasing in the corners. It was a genuine smile, of that I was sure. It confused me.
“If you think of anything, let me know.” He paused and added: “Or Glen or Nikky. Anything at all.”
“I will, thanks.”
We watched Nikky interacting with the parents while the children ran around the library chasing each other. Giggles echoed through the high-ceilinged room.
“Sorry if I come across as a moody bastard at times.”
I looked at him and frowned. “No, it’s fine.” I don’t want to talk to you, go away.
“No, I know I’m a shit sometimes. Deven tells me I need to relax.” He met my gaze and smiled again. “This is a lovely town, Katherine. Everyone gets on well, we don’t have any problems, everyone’s happy. I just don’t want us to end up like them out there, animals.”
I nodded, unsure why we were having this conversation.
“I know there are terrible things that go on in other towns. Things like that just don’t happen here. We honour the sanctity of marriage, obey the law and live by an honourable code. It’s taken time of course, always takes time to set these things up, always some resistance. We ironed out the creases though, got things nice and smooth.”
I thought back to the Henleys. Did Simon know? Of course he did, stupid me. Both of them at the party, the slap to his face by Roger Henley, the look they shared at the meeting.
“You’re not stupid, are you Katherine? You know that things like that don’t happen here, wouldn’t be tolerated. Those involved would be excluded and asked to leave. Wrongdoers are punished. I’ve seen it before.” His voice was steady and low, his gaze now on the children. “It’s worse for the accuser you know, they’re never forgiven, and eventually they leave.” He grinned widely and waved in acknowledgement to one of the women in the corner with Nikky, before looking back to me and gazing at my bump. “It’s a nice place here. We’re not like the other places, or even like Blackwood, you won’t be judged because you’re pregnant and unmarried. We love you and care for you.”
I tried to shut him out and concentrate on the children playing. When the country closed her borders, the disquietude and defensive belief of different groups bubbled and grew until the unease morphed into hate and segregation. Those with common beliefs banded together, and new towns were formed. If I had found myself in one of those communities instead of here, I didn’t doubt that I would be an outcast and my baby taken. I knew the stories. Unwed and unclean. I was a sinner in their eyes and unworthy of saving.
“I’d hate that to happen to you.”
I nodded again. I had no reply.
He wandered over to the women, his hands in his pocket as he laughed and joked, so different to the man who stared and scowled at me. What had I done to offend him?
“Kate.”
Nikky beck
oned me over.
“Kate, this is Rose, Alan’s guardian. It seems Alan’s quite taken with you.”
A plump, pretty middle-aged woman smiled at me; her perfect peaches and cream complexion made me acutely aware of the spots on my face. She reminded me of everyone’s favourite friend who always remembered birthdays and special occasions, the one who brought cakes into work for no reason and bought little kitschy presents back from holidays.
“Alan thinks you’re the prettiest lady in the town, Kate. He’s intrigued by the bump, I don’t think he believes me when I told him there’s a baby in there.”
I couldn’t help laughing, it escaped before I could conceal it and Simon glanced over curiously.
“Bless him.” The grave little boy sitting on my chair, flicking through a huge book and pretending to read; it was my ledger.
“Yes, he’s an unhappy boy. Found by the Enforcers wandering the Unlands nearly a year ago. How he survived alone, I’ll never know.”
I kept my attention on Alan as Rose spoke. He sat and studied the other children, and when they approached his body language changed, he tensed and scowled.
“He hates men, and doesn’t like other children. In fact, apart from me and you, Kate, he hasn’t spoken to anyone else here.”
“Really? No one?”
Nikky shook her head. “No one. When I saw him introduce himself to you, I told Rose, and well, we hate to ask, but…” She trailed off and looked guilty.
“C’mon woman, spit it out.” I smiled lightly.
“Well, Rose is exhausted, really exhausted, she could do with a few mornings to herself, and when it comes to teaching, if Alan won’t talk to me, I won’t be able to teach him, so…”
“You want me to teach him?” I couldn’t hide the incredulous tone from my voice. I was useless with kids, I couldn’t teach him.
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