“No, it’s not actually. Franz is big on being the real deal. He likes his scenes to be authentic.”
Dang. That meant that Brishell really was naked. Her clothes hadn’t been photoshopped away. Not that you could see details—the sand was placed very strategically. But you got the idea.
“But the color is enhanced. Franz wanted it to look bronzed. Glittering almost. But there isn’t anywhere with gold sand … even in Dubai.” Ben gave a half-smile. “So he had to cheat a little.”
“That’s actually what I love about it … the coloring. It’s beautiful. The glittering sand against the blue … sky.” Kay, that’s not what she was thinking. She was thinking about his eyes. They were enhanced, but only slightly. Just a shade or two brighter than normal. And the way that he had his head tilted down, hiding his features, made his eyes even that much more dominant. So the key focus of the picture was all the swirling bronze sand with a pair of vivid blue eyes penetrating through. Oh … and the naked lady.
“So that’s all you have to say about it? You’re commenting on the artistic attributes of the picture. But you haven’t said anything about the other … more obvious aspect.”
Kat had to clear her throat before she could say that name. “Brishell? You’re worried that I might be … jealous or something?” Wow. She said it straight. No emotion in her voice whatsoever. That was impressive.
Ben looked at her skeptically. “Yeah … or something.”
“Well, it’s … definitely pushing the envelope. But it’s not pornographic.” Lie. There was going to be one of those black plastic inserts over that issue of the magazine, for sure. “It’s tasteful,” she added. “And it will … draw attention … and sell. Like her swimsuit issue.”
“Yeah. She’s the first model to be on two of their covers in less than a year.”
“Wow. Cool.” Good for Brishell. Blah. Kat wanted to ask questions about Brishell … about how well Ben knew her, but Kat couldn’t do it. She didn’t think she could stomach a conversation about Brishell.
“It will definitely open up a new demographic for me. The article they are running is really great.”
“Can’t wait to read it,” Kat said half-heartedly. She knew she wouldn’t be allowed to buy that magazine. Her dad was going to have a fit. He’d been impressed with Ben. With Lena, and the morals that she’d instilled in her son. But once Darin Hayes would see that picture, all that esteem would diminish. He’d see Ben as a womanizer. Like his father. Fine for a rockstar, but not so great for Kat’s boyfriend. This was not going to go over well at her home. Which brought up a thought … “Do you think you’ll upset some of the parents of your younger fans?”
“Yeah. We’re expecting some fallout. But we’re not expecting it to affect album sales. The opposite actually. Any controversy that keeps your name in the news is good for revenue. Plus there are still plenty of teen magazine covers coming out … and they’re wholesome. We should be able to keep everyone happy.”
One more thought. “And it’s … legal … even though you’re not eighteen yet? To do that cover?”
Ben chuckled. “Kat, I have clothes on. It’s completely legal.”
“Well, I know that you’re not …” Nope. She couldn’t say it. Naked. She had to start over. “You have a Speedo on. But it’s just that she’s older. And she’s … in her birthday suit. So I just wondered.”
His expression was soft, even though his smile was gone. He was really searching Kat’s eyes. Looking for something. Was he hoping to find jealousy in there somewhere? Because she could show it to him, it would be easier than hiding it. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to see that weakness. She didn’t want him to know that this was killing her. Brishell was in an entirely different universe, and try as hard as Kat might, she would never ever reach that altitude. And here Ben was, rubbing shoulders (ahem, naked shoulders) with the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. But maybe jealous wasn’t the right word. Inferior. That was more like it. Kat felt inferior, insignificant, inadequate. But Ben couldn’t know that. She had to make him think that she was equal to the task of revolving in his world. Because those with insecurities were flung out of his orbit.
“Yeah, all the legalities are covered. Especially since I’m not naked. And Brishell—she’s two years older than me. She’s an adult.”
“Brishell is only nineteen?”
“She’s twenty. But just barely. Her birthday was in November. So technically, she is two and a half-years older.”
Kat felt her heart crumple, just like it had been crushed within the palm of her hand. Like what she’d done to her last math test, after she left the classroom of course. The way Ben spoke about Brishell … there was such a tone of familiarity there. Dubai wasn’t the first time that Ben had met her, that was for sure. “Wow. She seems older than that,” Kat mumbled. Kat had hoped that Brishell was older. Twenty wasn’t far enough out of Ben’s range.
“On camera, she does. In person … she’s looks younger. Especially when she goes without makeup.”
Great. Ben had seen Brishell without her make-up. They were that familiar. Kat hoped somebody got her crumpled heart out of the trashcan before it went to the trash compactor.
“You know her pretty well, huh?” There, Kat got the burning question out. Her voice probably betrayed her illusion of confidence.
“Yeah. You could call her a family friend.”
“Cool. I’ve heard that she’s … nice.” Where would Kat hear that? No one ever talked about Brishell Broz in terms of nice. They talked about her in degrees of hotness.
“She is. She’s … uh … an interesting person,” Ben replied.
Oh, great—now they were going to talk about all of Brishell’s internal attributes; as if seeing her external assets weren’t enough. Kat was going to be left with the self-esteem of a sloth.
“So you’re sure you’re okay with all this?”
“Yeah. Fine.” She still managed to sound perky—believably so. “I know that it’s … staged. So it’s not like the … intimacy is real or anything.” Hmm. Hadn’t they said something similar after the release of the “Generations” video? That the kiss was staged. That nothing was going on between the two leads in the video. That they were acting. But she knew how real it had been. How about now, with Brishell? How real was that … lust Brishell was draping around Ben?
Ben nodded. He drew in a breath and said, “But you know, there will be some speculation once this is released. People will talk … about me and Brishell.”
Oh fab. Kat could hardly wait. That was going to feel fantastic. But what she said was, “That might be good … for me. The paparazzi might leave me alone.”
He smiled and she saw his chest expel a chuckle. “I hadn’t thought of that. You might get some peace for a while. Aren’t you Ms. Optimistic?” She shrugged her shoulders. Yeah, that was totally her. Never thinking a gloomy thought. Ben sat back and let out a gust of air. “Well, phew. I got all worked up over nothing. I guess we didn’t need this big talk after all.”
“Yeah, thanks for the heart attack,” she teased. But she sensed that he felt disappointed somehow. Like he’d gotten himself psyched for drama, heartache and waterworks. And instead, she acted like a dude. She reached her hand out and grabbed his knee. “But thank you, really, for showing it to me. I’m glad that you felt like I should know about it. It means a lot. And you’re absolutely right … we need to be open about everything. Honest.”
So here it was. The perfect opportunity to tell him the truth about Jack. Here goes, “I need to tell you about Jackson.”
“Oh, I know,” Ben nudged her leg with his, acting all scandalous like. “He told me. Can you believe that he didn’t know Tim’s gay? Jackson about died. He thinks that’s the reason why Tim’s been so nice to him.”
What? Completely lost here. “I know … totally weird, huh?” she feigned. She’d have to ask Jack what the director being gay had to do with anything. “But I was …”
“Let’s no
t talk about it,” Ben said. “Tim’s going to be doing my concert tour DVD. I don’t want my view of him to be tainted by what happened with Jackson.”
“Kay …” So Kat wouldn’t mention it right now. Not that Ben was rude or anything, but the way he ended that conversation was definitive. She’d have to try it again later.
“You know, you reacted differently than I had expected.” Ben was back on the Brishell subject again. Yaak. “I thought you’d be upset … so I bought you a gift. Sort of a truce thing.” Ben reached over the couch to the end table. There was a wrapped gift with a silky gold bow. It hadn’t been there before. Ben must have brought it in with him after he showered. “But I guess you don’t need it. I’ll have it tossed out. Or given to charity.” He rattled the gift and then set it back down on the table.
She gave him a slight glare. This was almost as bad as having him speak in languages she couldn’t understand. She knew he was teasing … but still. It was rude.
“Unless you want it. If you think you might need it ….” He rattled the box again. Still tormenting her.
She was still glaring. He set the box in her lap and gave her a look of surrender. He urged her to open it.
Her face went rogue: she felt a huge smile stretch across her mouth. She couldn’t glare at him anymore. She was really, really excited over that little box sitting in her lap. Ben had bought her a gift. This was awesome. “Is it from Italy?” she asked eagerly.
“Uh, no.”
“Dubai?” Where else could the gift have come from? He hadn’t been back long enough today to do any shopping.
“Just open it.”
She could tell that the box was deceptively heavy for its small size. She quickly tore into it. The box looked familiar … she knew it from somewhere. She glanced up at Ben. She could see the eagerness in his eyes. So she popped the lid to the box.
It was a necklace and earrings. The beads were handcrafted ceramic; each colorful bead unique. It was shiny—coated with extra gloss. This was Darla’s necklace.
Kat’s mouth was agape. She looked up at Ben. It was his dimple smile. “Where did you … how?” She couldn’t form a coherent sentence. She was utterly confused. When Kat had gone back to Darla’s booth that next week, just like Kat had promised she would, she fully expected to have to spend a hundred and fifty bucks on that tacky necklace. No way would anyone else have bought that thing. But it was gone. Darla said that some man had paid her twice what it was worth. He said that he thought it was made by his grandma. A lost family heirloom.
Of course, Kat had suspected Ben after hearing Darla tell of her good fortune. But Darla confirmed that it was not “Wyatt,” but it was an older man. A guy in his thirties. A guy she’d never seen at the swap meet before. So Kat dismissed it, and agreed that it was a blessing in disguise … for both of them. Kat was glad to keep that money in her pocket.
“It was you? That bought it?”
“Yeah. Well, technically, it was one of my guys: John. I sent him in to get it. I didn’t want her to tell you … that it was me who bought it.” He looked a little embarrassed … humble. It looked good on him. “I was saving it for a time when you had one up on me. So tonight, you were supposed to say ‘I have never posed for a racy picture’ and then I would have to concede that you won. And give you this.”
Kat fingered the beads. She could feel a flood of emotions rising up within her. This was so sweet, on so many counts. Tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t look at him. So she kept playing with the necklace, until her hands found the earrings in the bottom of the box. She turned them over. They’d been converted from clip-on’s to studs. The tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Hey, are you crying?” His voice was soft … tentative.
She had to look up. And seeing him looking at her with worry and consideration … she couldn’t help herself: she flung her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. She could feel a tear roll off her cheek and drip onto his shirt. That expensive Italian shirt. So she had to pull back. She’d ruin that shirt if any of her supposedly waterproof, smudgeproof mascara ran. And she’d rather pull out every one of her eyelashes than ruin an expensive Italian shirt.
When she pulled back, he still looked concerned. “Are you crying because that necklace is so ugly? “
“No,” she said in a half-laugh. But her voice was too thick with emotion to say anything more.
“Those are good tears?”
She nodded. Then she asked for a Kleenex. She wiped away the tears and took a couple of deep breaths to gain composure. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me. Thank you.”
He reached his thumb up and wiped just below her right eye. “You have a smudge,” he said.
“Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she mumbled. “I’m being a crybaby.”
“No. This is good. I was starting to think that you have the emotions of a rhinoceros.”
She couldn’t laugh at that little joke. She wished she had the emotions of a rhinoceros. That would make this little … romance with Ben so much safer. Then she’d know that no matter what happened, she’d still stand tall; resolute. She worried that wasn’t going to be the case.
“It’s good for me to know—to see—what you’re feeling, Kat. You don’t need to hold back.”
She nodded her head like she agreed. But she didn’t. He just didn’t understand. She had to hold back.
She turned her focus back to the necklace, instead of Ben. She needed a distraction from those intense eyes of his. The clasp was stuck. Her hands were kinda shaky, so she wasn’t getting the best results. He offered his help, opened the clasp and handed the necklace back to her. She held it up to her neck, ready to put it on.
“You don’t need to wear it, Kat. It was more of a … sentimental offering. I didn’t intend for you to use it.”
“No, I want to. It’s like … getting a gold medal and just keeping it in a box. I’ve got to show this thing off.”
He offered his help again. So she hesitantly turned her back to him and held up her hair. He draped the necklace around her, his fingers tickling as they brushed her neck. It sent a shiver down her spine.
When he released the necklace, she quickly turned back around. He grinned, like he was trying not to laugh. She ignored him and put the earrings on. “Do you have a mirror … somewhere?”
Ben led her to his bedroom … his actual bedroom. It smelled like Ben. She took a deep breath, very inconspicuously, and held it in as long as she could. She wanted to capture that smell and keep it in a little glass jar near her heart. She glanced at his bed. It looked masculine: the comforter had big squares in blacks and grays. Did he have an embroidered pillow with her name on it tucked up there somewhere? Her heart failed momentarily. What if he ever walked into her room? Would he freak to know that she’d spent an entire week stitching his name on a pillow? It didn’t feel right to have the temple of Ben in her room anymore. He wasn’t just this cosmopolitan storefront mannequin. This object to lust over. He was this amazingly warm, sensitive, caring guy. A guy who paid three hundred dollars to buy her a tacky necklace.
She stopped in front of a mirror that was over a low dresser. Her hand went to the necklace. She tried hiding a smile. As hideous as that thing was, she actually loved it. It added whimsy to her outfit. She turned it slightly, so that two of the yellow beads were evenly spaced on her collar and a bright red bead was dead center. “I love it,” she said, almost hesitantly. What would Ben think of her taste?
“Ya know, it actually looks good.” He sounded surprised. “It adds a certain … playfulness.” He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “I shouldn’t be surprised though. You look beautiful … no matter what you wear.” He spoke slowly, his words concise and deliberate.
Kat looked at his reflection in the mirror, not her own. And from his reflection—mixed with the way he spoke—she could read him clearly. He felt guilt. About seeing Brishell naked. He felt like he’d been unfaithful to Ka
t. And. He liked Kat just the way she was. With her clothes on. She understood everything … the entire point of the talk. Even though he’d held back.
She turned her body into his and reached her hand up to his cheek. “You’re an amazing person,” she said in a whisper. “I don’t deserve you.” There. The complete truth. She felt momentarily naked.
Until he said, “That’s what I was just thinking … about you.” He leaned his head toward hers. She stroked his cheek with her thumb. Her insides were turning to mush.
“I guess that means we’re perfect for each other,” he added.
She hoped that was true, more than she’d ever hoped for anything.
Chapter Eighteen ……
Ben had another surprise for Kat. He had taken her downstairs to the theater room, where he turned on the screen. At first, she had thought that it was the trailer for this spring’s most anticipated movie. But it was the real deal. Ben had pulled some strings and got an advanced copy. It wasn’t due in theaters for two more months. This was so seriously cool.
The movie was the third in a series: in a hugely successful, very beloved series about a spy. It was intense from the opening sequence. Mountainside explosions, chases on snowboards with an avalanche nipping at the spy’s heels, and of course, hot babes. This was the type of show that typically Kat would have scoffed at. But not this series … it was just so awesome. Perfectly done.
Halfway through the show, the screen steamed up. There was a kissing scene between the spy and his nemesis. Ben turned to Kat and said, “They’ve got nothing on us.” He leaned his arm on the armrest, moving his face closer to hers. “Really, how cool is it that our “Generations” kiss will be talked about for years? I’ve already had word that it’s nominated for Best Kiss at the Popular Choice Awards.”
“Really?” That was kinda embarrassing actually. Especially since there wasn’t a whole lot of acting goin on. “You think it will win?”
“Of course.” Ben flashed a bright smile, then he leaned over and kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her some more. The movie rolled on in a blur … a fire, a car chase on the autobahn, then a fist fight. But Ben and Kat weren’t really watching it. They were too busy kissing.
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