by Nicole Helm
Rose got back in her car, and for a second, he thought she was just going to drive behind them and head out of his life. It was a silly worry though, because she drove the rest of the way to park next to his truck and got out of her car.
He walked toward her as she walked toward him. She was holding a bag and looking incredibly grave. “Sorry I’m late. I ran into a llama jam.”
Jack opened his mouth to tell her it was all right, but those words penetrated his automatic response. “I’m sorry, did you say llama?”
“Yeah. I ran into Bozeman this morning, and the road coming back was completely blocked by llamas.”
“Am I supposed to believe that story?”
“Have you not heard of Dan Sharpe’s llama ranch?”
Jack shook his head. “I think I’ve heard Becca talk about llamas. I’m almost certain I pushed it completely out of my mind.”
“My sister’s brother-in-law runs a llama ranch. There was a fence breach, and they were all out there on the road blocking traffic. So yes, I am late due to llamas, and that is not something I ever thought I’d say.” She took a breath, that graveness never leaving her expression. “I bought a test.”
Which was when her nervous llama babbling suddenly made sense. “Did you take it?”
“No! The llamas got in my way, and then I didn’t want to miss saying goodbye to your family. So.” She blew out a long breath. “I’m not usually late.”
“It’s okay. You made it in time.”
She rolled her eyes. “Not time late. Late late. Period late. Pregnant late.”
“Oh. Um, well, Gabe is out working with Alex, so we have an empty bunkhouse and bathroom to ourselves.”
“Okay.”
They walked over in silence, and Jack knew he should say something. Something profound and important. He should somehow explain to her that she meant a lot to him no matter what the result was.
Words failed him. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. They stepped into the bunkhouse and he closed and locked the door. He pointed to the bathroom door. “You, uh, can do it in there.”
Rose nodded and strode for the door. She went in and closed it, and suddenly he was alone in the bunkhouse. Rose was in the bathroom peeing on a stick to determine if she was pregnant or not. With his baby.
Jack felt a little bit like hyperventilating. A lot like hyperventilating, actually. He felt a million things, and none of them made any sense.
“Rose makes sense,” he muttered aloud to himself. Then he did it again. Because she did. They did. He went over to the bathroom door and tried the handle.
“Rose.”
She opened the door and opened her mouth, but he steamrolled over her. “Wait. I have to say something first. You know I care about you. Regardless of anything that happens in this bathroom, this thing between us matters. You know that.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.” She pointed to the little stick thing on the sink.
Jack brushed by her. There was a little digital window, and there in actual letters, it said pregnant. Pregnant.
“Okay,” he breathed.
“What do you mean okay?” she demanded, panic sneaking into her tone.
“I mean, okay, you’re pregnant. You’re pregnant, and now we work out how we’re going to deal with that.”
“I don’t want to,” she said in a rush.
“You don’t want to what? Work out how to deal with it or be pregnant or…?”
“I don’t want to deal with it!” she shouted. “I want to pretend like I don’t know that I’m pregnant. I want to fake the next I don’t know how many weeks. I don’t want to figure out what’s going to happen. I don’t want to work out how I’m going to shove a child out of me. I don’t want any of it. I want it to go away.”
“Right. Okay.”
She smacked him on the chest. “I can’t actually do that!”
“Well, I know, but I wasn’t about to point it out.”
“Jack, you cannot want to have a baby with me.”
“I can’t want to have a baby with you?” he returned.
“That is what I said. You don’t want this. You want picket fences and T-ball and…I run a bar!”
She was clearly panicking. Which surprised him and warmed him, oddly. Because he’d figured she’d take the test far away from him and hide her panic. She was here instead, talking to him, and he wanted to smile—but he also didn’t want to be punched in the nose, so he kept his expression stoic.
“I admit I’m a traditional guy. I would prefer to, you know, have been married before this sort of thing happened, but we’re not. I’d also prefer not to have had a chunk blasted out of my leg, but things happen. I’m learning how to roll with the punches, and this one is a lot softer than others I’ve been dealt lately. Quite frankly, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have a baby with than you.”
“I’ll be a terrible mother,” she breathed.
“You will not be a terrible mother. You are amazing. You are strong and forceful and—”
“Selfish. I am so utterly selfish, Jack. Good moms are not selfish.”
“You are not selfish. A selfish woman wouldn’t pretend to be a man’s girlfriend to keep his family off his back. A selfish woman wouldn’t give all the tips to one of her bartenders because her husband can’t work. There is not a selfish bone in your body, Rose.”
She looked up at him, dark eyes filled with tears and that awful certainty he couldn’t seem to overcome. “You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about my life before the past few months.”
He took her by the hand, rubbing a thumb over her knuckles. “So I’ll learn. I would suggest we get married—”
She screeched.
“Except,” he continued before she could protest more loudly. “I know that’s not what you want. So instead of jumping to the next step, we’ll focus on this one. You didn’t want options, so you’re going to have this baby?”
She shook her head, but her words were the opposite of that negative movement. “Yes,” she breathed.
“Which means we’re going to have this baby. We care about each other. You cannot deny that we care about each other. We’ll get to know each other better, and if, at the end of this whole pregnancy thing, you don’t want to be with me, then we’ll work out some sort of joint custody thing or whatever people do. We’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Whatever it takes for what?” she asked, sounding tired.
He led her over to his bed and nudged her into a sitting position. “Whatever it takes to give our kid a good life. Maybe I didn’t picture it quite like this, but I always assumed I’d have kids. I’ll be a good father, and if I suck, I’ll learn how to be better. And so will you. We made a baby, so we give that baby the best life we can.”
She looked up at him and something in her expression changed. He wasn’t sure he liked or trusted it. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “You’re right. The most important thing is giving the kid the best possible life.” She kept staring at him, and he had no idea what she was thinking, but they had time now. She agreed with him. So he had something like nine months to do whatever it took to win her over.
He had no doubt he would.
* * *
Rose took a week to perfect her plan. It was risky, and it would require striking just the right balance. Spending a week with Jack without his family around was killing her slowly. He was sweet and attentive and all the things she’d known he’d be. She couldn’t count how many times she’d opened her mouth to tell him what was going on with her family, with the impending visit to Dad. There was some stupid part of her that occasionally got fooled into thinking this was real life.
Everything with Jack had been built on something fake. Including her. Whatever he saw in her had to be a figment of his imagination, and she
had to save him from her.
Because the worst part of this week was knowing he was trying to wear her down, convince her that they belonged together, that a baby would be great.
Rose knew what was coming. He was in love with her. He hadn’t said it, but she wasn’t dumb. He was waiting her out, making sure she wouldn’t bolt when he said the words.
Which meant she had to get her plan off the ground before he convinced her she didn’t have to run.
What Jack had said as they were staring at that damned pregnancy test made everything crystal clear. She knew what was best for this child beyond a shadow of a doubt. And that was Jack. Jack wanted to be a father, and the thing he’d said about trying to be better if he wasn’t… He believed in right and good, and he had his parents’ example to guide him. There was no way he wasn’t what was best for this child.
All Rose had to do was figure out how to disappear. She’d done it before. She’d escaped Dad and that hell house. She had disappeared and only kept tabs on her sisters to make sure they were okay. Doing what she could to get them out.
So now, she’d do it again. No matter that the past two years had been the best years of her life, and she loved her life and her bar and actually having contact with her sisters.
She wouldn’t be selfish this time though. She was going to put everyone else first. Jack was so good, she had no doubt he’d let her sisters be a part of the baby’s life. He’d give the baby everything he’d talked about that morning she’d punched Mike—a home, a safety net, and enough love to get through whatever shit life threw at it.
She couldn’t let this thing between them go on any longer, but she also wasn’t strong enough to stay around him after she cut it off. So she had to leave. If she could get Dan to help her out without telling the Shaws, she could get out, have the baby, and then make sure she got the baby back to Jack while she stayed far away.
Everyone—everyone—would have a better life if her plan worked.
Except you.
She shoved that thought away, along with the idea that Vivian had tried to implant in her, because it was all crap. She had never been a better person and couldn’t become one. The only way she knew how to be good was to stay far, far away.
She knocked on the screen door of the Sharpes’ ranch house. There was a chance Mel, Caleb’s sister, would answer. There was every chance this could blow up in her face, but then she’d just find another way to disappear. With or without Dan’s help, she could disappear. This was worth a shot though, and if it didn’t work out, she had a backup plan.
The first person to come into view through the screen wasn’t Mel or Dan, but their two-year-old, Lissa.
“Dee,” Lissa called out because she always confused Rose and Delia.
Dan came around the corner next. “Not Delia, sweetie. That’s Rose.” He scooped up the little girl easily as he walked toward the door.
A few years ago, Rose would never have believed a man could be a good father. She’d never seen any until the past two years. Now she was surrounded by them—Caleb, Dan, Thack. Good men. Truly good. And Jack was just like them, if not better. He would be the best father.
“Hi, Dan,” Rose offered as he opened the screen door.
“Hey, Rose. Come in. You didn’t come to yell at me about the llama incident, did you? Because trust me, the residents of Blue Valley have made their irritation clear.”
She managed a smile. “No complaints,” she said, stepping into the kitchen. “I came to ask you a favor.”
He set Lissa down next to a bunch of toys. All llama related. Weird.
“If it has to do with money, I’d be happy to help. No need to be embarrassed,” he said, gesturing her to a seat at the kitchen table.
“How did you know it was about money?”
“Well, we’re not exactly best friends. If you needed help with anything personal, I’m sure you’d go to Delia or Summer first. What I do have that most people around here don’t is disposable income. And llamas. But I don’t think you’re here for llamas.”
“No. No llamas. My favor isn’t just about money though. It’s more of an investment.” Or so she’d tell herself.
“Like I said, I’d be happy to help. You don’t have to sell me on anything.”
“No. It really is. I need you to buy my bar.”
“Buy your bar?”
“That’s it. All you have to do is buy it, keep the staff on. Tonya will do the day-to-day work and run it. You don’t have to do anything. I just need the capital.”
“Why are you selling the bar? You love your bar.”
She felt more than panicked at the question, so she ignored it. “It’s a great investment. It doesn’t do gangbusters, but it does well. You wouldn’t lose any money. You won’t gain much either, but Tonya is amazing and so well trained. And if she ever leaves, you can sell it. Straight out.”
“And you’ve discussed this with anyone?”
“No. No one will approve of this. But I need this. It’s really, really important, and it’s for the good of my family. I know you can understand how important that is. I know how much you love Mel and Lissa, and I know you would do anything for your family. Well, this is me doing anything for mine. I would just really appreciate it if you could do this for me without telling anyone.”
Dan glanced at Lissa before returning his gaze back to Rose. “I do understand how important family is,” he said carefully. “I also spent a lot of time in my life running away before they came along.”
“I’m not running away. I’m making something right.”
“If I give you this money, are you going to disappear?”
Rose opened her mouth to lie, but for some reason, she couldn’t get it to come out. “I-If you’re not going to give me the money, that’s fine, but I need you to not tell anyone that I came here.”
“Are you in trouble, Rose? Because I can help. We can all help.”
“No. It isn’t that. I just have to make something right. That’s all.”
Dan scratched a hand through his hair. “All right. I’ll buy your bar.”
“You will?” She practically sagged with relief. She had been steeling herself for disappointment, but he…he was going to do it.
“I’ll have to talk to my finance guys and move some money around. They’ll bitch and moan about taxes and whatnot, so it might take some time, but I’ll do it.”
“And you won’t tell anyone?” she whispered, too afraid to believe this was really happening.
“I’m going to strongly encourage you to tell someone.”
“But you won’t?” she insisted.
Dan frowned at his daughter, and Rose wished she knew him better, so she could read that face.
“I can’t promise not to tell Mel. She’s my wife, and she’s involved in all our financial decisions, and I can’t promise she won’t tell.”
Rose wilted.
“I can ask her if she’s okay with it though. And if she’s not, if she’s going to go tell someone, I can give you a warning. How’s that?”
It was risky. It was incredibly risky. Mel was not the kind to keep secrets, but maybe she’d understand. Maybe…maybe…
“And if you change your mind, I will happily never tell anyone this meeting ever happened.”
Rose forced herself to smile. “I like the plan where you ask Mel and warn me if she’s going to squeal to Delia.”
“Fair enough.”
“Thank you, Dan.” She stood, because there was so much to do now. “Really. I owe you.”
“Let’s see what Mel has to say before you owe me anything.”
“Make sure you tell her that it’s for the best for everyone. I know I’m making the right choice.”
“Leaving?”
“Let me know what she says,” Rose said, ignoring Dan’s question. She left the
house, brimming with possibility. Mel was a gamble, but it was also a chance. Maybe a slim one, but no matter what happened, she’d either have the money or a head start before her family came after her.
Now she just had to make it through tomorrow’s visit to Dad and a few more days of Jack, and then she would be free.
She climbed into her car, that word bouncing around in her head. Free. Free. She’d chased freedom before and suffered the guilt of the hell it had wrought ever since.
It was different now. Everything was different. She was doing the selfless thing now, and it would all work out.
Chapter 23
Jack had no idea why he was nervous. He should save nerves for when he’d have to break the news to his family. Telling his friends was like a practice run, a training exercise. Nothing major at stake.
It might have helped if Rose were there. She could have given one of her patented razor-sharp grins, and everything would be fine. Except there had been nothing razor sharp about her the past few days. She’d been quiet. Dazed. And every time he’d tried to reach her, the real Rose under all this muffled whatever, she’d smiled at him. Just a sad, paltry smile.
So he’d given her some space. Pushing at her had been driving her deeper into the odd cocoon she’d wrapped around herself. Maybe this was how she dealt with a change in plans. He’d have to learn how to gauge those moods.
He wanted her to be happy, and if she needed a few days to withdraw inside herself and wrap her head around this brave new world, then he would give them to her—even if it drove him insane.
But it didn’t mean he had to sit still and silent. He was going to have dinner with his friends and tell them the news. He needed someone besides Rose to know, to understand, to…something. He needed to say it and acknowledge it. Rose could burrow; he would act. Maybe that contrast made them an even better team.
He walked into the ranch house to the smell of something delicious but frowned a little when he stepped into the kitchen. The table was set, the nice glasses were out, and Becca was fluttering around the kitchen humming while Alex and Gabe sat at the table sipping beers.
