by Erin R Flynn
However, my mouth about hit the ground when Enzo turned on the charm like I’d never seen before.
“Ms. Jezebel, it is my greatest pleasure to meet you in person and see your divine shop I have heard such wonderous things about,” he greeted, his accent thickening a bit. He accepted her extended hand, bowing to kiss it and making a show of how long his lips met her skin. “I apologize profusely for adjusting our meeting time on such short notice, but I was assured you approved of it.”
“Lovely to meet you in person as well,” she accepted, shooting me a confused look. “Apparently you’re on your best behavior as Seraphine cannot hide her shock at your demeanor.”
“I didn’t know he could be that polite to a woman,” I blurted, flinching when Nina snickered when Enzo’s shoulders went stiff. “Hey, Nina, yeah, just ignore me. I’ll be standing in the corner over here feeling cheap and easy since he’s slept with me and I don’t get greeted or treated like that.” I snapped my mouth shut, shaking my head and heading over to her holiday display.
So much for getting better at acting more sophisticated and handling that mouth/brain filter in my personal life now that I was about to be a year older. I sounded like a jealous lover, which was the last thing I wanted when it came to Enzo but… I’d really thought I was at the top tier of respect he could treat a woman—capable of treating one.
Apparently not.
Ouch.
I slid my ring on, not wanting to pick up any images or more given everyone was agitated and tense between my outburst and the meeting in general. Instead I finished my perusing and then set on a ledge of the window and got back to work.
I was much better at my job than I was at my life. Well, maybe that wasn’t true given we’d had a tour of how far the pack and supes had progressed. Phobie and Simone were right that my foundations had held better and my life was more solid.
I felt more comfortable and secure in my job than in my life.
Well, most days. Brian almost risking that for me had been a bit more than I could handle and I still felt pretty shaky. That might be while I was letting this with Enzo affect me.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure what was going on in my brain or my emotions most days. I was still recovering from the trauma of him almost dying and what it took to save him too.
Sure, I could go with that.
When we finished there, I gave Nina a wave, hating things were still strained with us. Then we loaded up and drove to our final stop of the club.
And that meant I was done for the night. Thanks fuck. My ancients were going to show around Enzo’s ancients and give the rules while they were there for their off time. Luckily all of them weren’t needed for that and we had some vehicles there so after we picked up some food, I was back at my apartment and ready for a quiet night in.
Unfortunately, it was time to handle something else important.
Fuck a duck.
16
My allure had worn off from Absolon by the time we reached Nina’s so he was all about keeping his distance and staying at the club. But Enzo clearly wanted to have a private discussion about my outburst when we arrived back at my apartment.
Which I didn’t want, wasn’t in the mood for, and I sort of wanted to tell him to fuck off for the night. That wouldn’t happen if I was smart, so it was sort of a mixed blessing when Eugene showed up moments after I set out all the food on the table.
Mixed because I wasn’t sure I was ready to deal with him either but I wanted to see him over Enzo any day. Life was all about choosing the lesser of two evils.
“Hey,” I greeted, giving him a hesitant look.
“Hey,” he murmured, hunger in his eyes as he eyed me over. “I missed you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he promised. “I did come up to check on you when you got back but when my wolf smelled him—how much he smelled of you—I got worried and went back to my apartment.”
“And now?”
“I can’t stay away from you any longer and my wolf is getting aggressive,” he admitted, lowering his head to rub his cheek against mine. “We smelled Brian earlier today and it’s okay. He’s not your mate and we knew your bond was strong. You might not be happy with me about the talk I had with him but I want to talk to you first before I confess that part.”
“That might have to wait,” I sighed. “I’ve missed you too and it upset me you didn’t come sooner when I needed you.”
“You needed me?” he asked, frowning.
I nodded but then shrugged. “I’ve had a long day but you’re more than welcome to come in if you want to talk. I’ll share my dinner with you.”
“I’d like that.”
I pushed the door open for him and stepped back, making room for his huge six-eleven frame that towered over mine. I turned to head back to the dining room table but he stopped me with his arms around me. I nuzzled back against him, rubbing my cheek against his, this time in a very wolfish gesture.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know,” I whispered. “I could have called you. I know why you needed the space and time. It was valid.”
“Why did you need me?” he murmured. “Because of Russia?”
“No, we need to talk because of Russia and I’m sorry if it’s pushy,” I hedged.
“But it’s time. I know this.”
“It’s time,” I agreed. I couldn’t be in the dark on his family and circumstances anymore when so many others knew. I opened my mouth to answer but then froze. “I don’t know if I should tell you the rest. I think that depends on how the conversation goes.”
“I would never use what you’d tell me against you. I hope you know that.”
“I think so but I feel unsure.”
“Me too,” he confessed, which I knew took a lot for him to say. It made me feel a bit better that I wasn’t the only sensitive one on this at least.
I sat down at the spot I’d been setting for myself, expecting him to sit across from me. Instead he took the seat next to me, moving his left arm over the back of my chair and scooting closer as he helped me open bags and containers and get everything situated.
“Want to tell me why you bought your favorite comfort food and enough of it to feed an army?”
“It’s Sunday. Isn’t that reason enough?” I muttered as I picked up a Portillo’s dipped Italian beef with cheese and green peppers. I broke the cardinal rule and slathered it with ketchup but if people bitched at me about it I bit them.
So no, people didn’t.
He kissed my shoulder. “Why are you being so cautious with me? Have your feelings for me changed?”
“Have yours for me changed?”
“No.” His tone was firm, absolutely resolute.
I met his stern eyes, seeing the determination in them, and my worry started to melt. “No. I still feel the same for you. What happened with Brian doesn’t change my feelings for any of you.”
“It just complicates things for us more than the others.”
That I didn’t understand, taking a bite of my sandwich and stuffing a few fries in my mouth before shaking my head and giving up. “How so?”
He wiped his mouth and paused in eating his own burger and fries. “Hagan and Reagan aren’t Alpha wolves or men. I am. You’re more powerful than me and we both know I don’t want to be over you.” He smiled when I snorted. “In any way other than bed. You’re my Alpha, Sera. I know that. You know that. But I like being the Alpha wolf in your life.”
“And Brian now being a wolf threatens that?”
“Yes.” There was a growl to his voice that worried me and he answered my unasked question. “He should have fucking realized that. For as smart as he is, he’s fucking dense sometimes.”
“You don’t currently have to convince me of that,” I drawled.
“He’s dismissive about supe stuff and the world outside of what he knows and that—” He snapped his mouth shut and kissed my temple before allowing himself a few bites of food to cal
m down. “We said I was a mating candidate as a ploy but your parents gave their blessing. That means something. We kept with the ploy because we like each other and it’s a layer of protection.
“He ignored that and asked only the ones he sees as valid in your life in his eyes. He spoke with Dain, Hagan, Reagan, and Noah. Axel and I were blindsided and we have more worldly experience. Even Carter’s pissed because he’s head of security but also currently your vampire mating candidate. Goran is yours and wasn’t let in. If he wasn’t going to tell you, he should have told those older and who know more.”
“Dain—”
“Dain thought he told us,” Eugene clarified. “He thought the conversation extended to your trusted inner circle, which he would include me in after I received your parents’ blessing and how close we became over your recovery. Even if I’m not one of your main lovers, the world thinks I am. That matters. He laid out a plan for a fair division of your life with them, leaving out us without—”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, understanding how painful that would be if the situation was reversed.
“Do you agree with him? Have you agreed with him?”
“I don’t know. The plan didn’t sound bad but it wasn’t written in stone,” I muttered, sort of wondering what he was talking about. Then it hit me. “You mean Brian’s my FBI, police, and DC guy. When it’s vampire stuff, Noah. Pack stuff, Hagan and Reagan. Dain is Chicago, businesses side, and any fairy stuff.”
“Yes,” he snarled, leaning in and nipping my shoulder the way I liked. “And where does that leave any room for Axel, Carter, or me? We tentatively discussed maybe one day me being the consort who would take the world stage at your side as that would protect you most with your parents’ blessing. Is that Brian now since he’ll adopt Topher? Is he your Alpha Mate?”
“You’re getting aggressive for something we’ve not discussed much at all,” I worried. “When we’ve not progressed much and liked this taking things slow and enjoy the chase.”
“Because the territory wasn’t threatened and now it will be if you get married and mate,” he replied, his tone dangerous, full of power. “And how he did it is not worthy of an Alpha of your power. It was sneaky and underhanded, trapping you—”
“I saved his life—”
“And put you back under him at the FBI so he’s your boss again.”
“Yes, but he’s not sneaky and underhanded like I’m used to. And clearly you’ve had a lot more experience with.” I shook my head when he went to argue. “He offered to quit. He meant it. He would rather quit than lose me. He… Everything just happened and he was stupid. You’re right he didn’t see the full picture and took charge, but he’s not in charge anymore and he needs to get that.”
“Does he?”
I didn’t answer for several moments, finishing off my sandwich and moving on to a burger and another order of fries. “I hope so, because I’m not sure I can go through this with him again. We’ve come a long way, but if he wants us to be real, I need him to be real with me. No more of him just doing shit on his own that affects both of us. I don’t do that and I include him on as much as I can.”
“He doesn’t deserve to be your mate if he can’t do at least that for you,” he muttered, nuzzling my neck again.
“We’re not mating.”
“You accepted his ring, Sera.”
“Yeah, but I’m not wearing it until he makes amends,” I admitted, glancing at my bare finger. “And he’ll still only be my consort like Dain is. I don’t know I’ll pick only one mate.” I shot him a side glance. “Since when are you so against Brian?”
“Since he fucked up this bad and could take my place at your side from me. He didn’t leave room for me in his fucking plan and I’ve been good to never do the same.”
That was true and I nodded, acknowledging that. “We ride a different line being infected wolves and working for the human government than you do as a born wolf and experience with the supe governments. You know this.”
“I do. I just wasn’t sure he does or he convinced you both worlds don’t exist with his plan.”
“Why does that plan bother you so much?”
“Because I heard you agreed to it,” he snapped, clearing his throat when I flinched.
“As a guideline,” I whispered. “I mean, as a general idea of everyone staying in lanes. It’s complicated, Eugene. It’s complicated with several of you guys. I have no idea how Alena has over a dozen lovers, consorts, and a mate. It’s all so crazy to me.”
“Because you still think of yourself as a woman instead of a goddess,” he murmured, reaching over and wiping something off my lip with his finger before sucking it clean. “He said you were making him pay penance. Will you tell me?”
“I won’t make anyone do anything to be with me. I’m not—”
“I know. It’s why so many of us want to be with you,” he interrupted gently. “I mean, you’re valuing yourself and seeing you’re worth fighting for. He should earn back your trust. Will you trust me and tell me?”
I nodded, looking away from his intense gaze as I told him what I’d outlined with Brian after discussing it with Simone and Phobie. I was nervous when he didn’t immediately reply, inhaling the rest of my food as he’d been doing while I spoke.
“You should have demanded more, but at least I’m glad I didn’t hit him harder,” he finally said when we were done.
“You hit him?” I demanded, turning to face him.
“Yes,” he growled, his hands on my hips and lifting me up before I even realized it. He wrapped me around him and brought me over to the living room. He sat down with me straddling his lap and tore open my shirt. He ran his hands over my skin possessively. “He has you like the rest of us do not. Fuck what others say. He has not tamed you. You cannot be tamed.”
“Then what?” I moaned, pushing into his hands, turned on by how intense and demanding he was being. I loved this side of Eugene as he only let it out with me. He was always stern and controlled with everyone else, but only when he was with me—or it came to me—did he snap.
“You love him so freely with all of you and he doesn’t realize the gift he has. Dain would kill for that. Yes, you trust him more and more and you have a connection, and while you might not love Brian more, your love is the deepest. He should value that more when he has all parts of you that the rest of us cannot seem to ever reach.”
I stared into his pretty, deep chocolate eyes, reaching behind him and taking out his hair tie so his dark red hair fell around his shoulders. “What part of me do you want, Eugene? Do you want inside of me? Are you saying we’re ready to progress?”
He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath before opening them again and letting me see his wolf in them, riding him. “Yes, I want all of you and for this to be real, Sera.” He moved his fingers to my lips. “But I will not have our long-awaited first time be when Councilman Dubois is in the next room watching and listening to all of this with such interest.”
I flinched, not hiding my shock well and guiltily looking at my bedroom where Enzo was. I went to move off of Eugene’s lap but he tried to keep me there. I was stronger and broke his hold, breaking my wrist in the process.
“Shit, sorry,” he hissed when I groaned. “Sera, I’m so sorry.”
“No, I am,” I rasped, hanging my head in shame.
“Do not blame her,” Enzo said from the dining room. “It was my demand for my aid that I see her relationships to understand how…”
“I forgot you were here,” I admitted. “I didn’t plan this, Eugene.”
“I know. I know that, Sera. You would never do that,” he said firmly.
“How did you know I was here?”
“She was afraid,” Eugene admitted. “And then she wasn’t. In New York you were too interested in her. Axel and I made sure to get a good sense of you and Papadopoulos cloaked. We’re Alpha shifters who’ve worked for council members who can cloak. We know the signs. I figured she called in someo
ne scarier than her fear to help and you were the logical choice.”
“It wasn’t just him coming,” I confessed, closing up my shirt and grunting as my wrist healed. “It was figuring out Murray was using magic to influence people.” I ran my other hand through my hair and let out a shaky breath. “I never considered that. All these years building up his abilities in my head and how he could just get people to listen to him and he was a scarier boogeyman than some of my evil foster parents.”
“Is that why you needed me? I saw you when you faced your evil foster father?” Eugene asked gently.
“No, but that was why I needed Axel and Brian, but Brian was the reason he was here,” I muttered, as I stepped away.
“Don’t back away from me,” he whispered as he moved closer and slid his arm around me. “Please. Not when I hurt you. Tell me why you needed me.”
“You made her feel safe, Alpha dire wolf,” Enzo answered for me. “The last time she was scared was after her abduction. Apollo might have rescued her, but you were the main reason she was kept safe, a shield to protect her in a way others could not, and patiently stood at her side and helped her piece herself back together.”
A fly farting could have been heard in the room but all I could hear was my heart racing in my ears.
“Is he right? Is that why you wanted me? Needed me?” Eugene whispered. His voice took on a begging quality when I didn’t answer. “Please tell me, Sera.” He lowered his forehead to mine. “Tell me? Tell me that you feel safe with me. Tell me that my Alpha feels protected by me.”
“Why?” I swallowed loudly, licking my lips. “Why do you want to hear that so badly? It makes me sound weak.”
“No, it makes me sound valued and loved, trusted,” he murmured, nuzzling my hair. “It settles my wolf that I give you something the others can’t and I have value to you. I have a place at your side. A place in your future.”
