by Cathy Bussey
‘We’re having a few drinks,’ Rik said, mercifully oblivious to her train of thought. ‘You’re not busy, are you?’
‘Can’t think of anything I’d rather do.’
‘Faith is a heavenly name,’ Lofty said, returning for another load. ‘You do look rather saintly, I have to say.’
She rolled her eyes. Lofty might be able to read stars and other heavenly bodies but he couldn’t read women at all.
Lofty toiled off and Rik mimed sticking his fingers down his throat. ‘Saintly,’ he said, aghast.
I’m still a sinner, she thought, when it comes to you.
‘See you later,’ he said and he slid off, giggling.
Faith turned back to her charge. ‘When you’re done, we need to start the rockery.’
‘Just point me in the right direction,’ he said raffishly.
‘Thanks Lofty.’
‘Henry,’ he corrected. ‘Or you can call me Harry if you prefer. For short.’
‘It’s not really shorter,’ Faith said. ‘It’s got the same amount of letters. Lofty suits you just fine.’
Chapter 11
It was quite a crowd that assembled at Hollyhocks that evening. Sara and Tony had arrived and taken up position at the head of the swimming pool. Lofty was lounging next to them wearing a white ribbed vest that emphasised his bulging muscles, and the teenagers were all floating about chortling and drinking lurid-looking alcopops and looking at their cracked mobile phones.
Faith had gone home to shower and change and put on a very bright yellow vest and dark khaki shorts, which clashed becomingly with her sunkissed skin. She left her hair down and didn’t bother with makeup, because her newly-acquired tan made her green eyes glow in her face. I look quite pretty, she decided, if you ignore all the scratches on my arms and legs.
Or so she thought, until Lucinda walked in looking sleekly elegant in white jeans, a black silk camisole and sky-high, diamante-studded heels and Faith instantly felt childish and silly. Sara had also pulled out all the stops and was wearing a pretty tea dress with cherries printed on it, which emphasised her gloriously feminine figure, and a pair of matching cherry-print sandals. Only Paul and Rik were letting the side down, still in their labouring clothes, cracking open bottles of beer in two deck chairs, side by side.
‘Oh hello Faith,’ Lucinda said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. ‘Didn’t recognise you without the mud coat.’ Her eye fell on Lofty. ‘Who’s that?’
‘My temporary assistant. I think Minel considers him a late birthday present.’
‘I can see why,’ Lucinda swooned. Rik had noticed she had arrived and came over to greet her. Lucinda looked marginally annoyed at his appearance.
‘Hey Lu.’ Rik kissed her briefly and turned to Faith. ‘We won’t lose you in the dark,’ he said, looking at her vest.
‘Wouldn’t get lost anyway,’ Faith said. ‘I’ve got excellent night vision.’
Rik’s eyes met hers and Faith knew exactly what he was thinking. I can see us, she thought, and so can he. He can see us right now, giggling madly while we navigated our way around that copse in the pitch black, telling each other what obstacles we could see, or sense. Occasionally reaching out to grab hands when one of us stumbled. Feeling that sense of adventure, of taking a risk, safe in the knowledge we were both there for each other.
He can see it and he feel it too. What we were, what we stopped being, what we lost.
Faith was about to reach out and touch his face, then she remembered that she was right next to Lucinda, who was eyeing Lofty up again.
GT, wildly overexcited by the amount of people present, was dashing back and forth beside the pool, occasionally throwing himself into the water before clambering out and shaking himself off, sending droplets cascading all over the floor. Minel nagged Paul to get up and turn the sausages. Hearing the magic word, GT launched himself at the barbecue, slamming his nose against the metal legs.
‘Not the brightest, is he?’ Lucinda said to Rik.
Rik laughed. ‘But very cute.’
‘Maybe he’s an acquired taste,’ Lucinda said. ‘I’m more of a cat person.’
Of course you are, Faith thought, because cats are sensuous and captivating and discerning, and dogs follow you around with their tongues hanging out and roll in their own shit.
‘Ah, my lady boss.’ Lofty had stopped gazing into the middle-distance affectedly and smiled at Faith.
Faith rolled her eyes. ‘Sara, have you met Lofty?’ she asked her friend, who was also staring at Lofty in detached fascination.
‘Harry,’ Lofty corrected, sounding plummier than ever. He gave Sara the benefit of his piercing blue eyes and flexed involuntarily. ‘I’m at Cambridge.’
Sara bubbled over with giggles. ‘Who brought the doll?’ she murmured to Faith.
Thank goodness, Faith thought. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me, but Sara gets it. ‘Lofty’s been helping me out with the pond. He’s studying —’ she had forgotten again and looked at Lofty for guidance.
‘Astrophysics,’ he said patiently.
‘Astro what now?’ Sara said.
‘Planets and stuff,’ Faith translated. ‘Heavenly bodies. I think he thinks his falls into that category,’ she hissed to Sara.
‘Does he?’ Sara hissed back.
‘How would I know?’
‘You’re not tempted to find out?’
‘As if. I’m literally the most chaste and lonely person around this swimming pool. I think even the teenagers have had more action than me.’ Faith stopped abruptly. To her astonishment Sara’s eyes had filled with tears.
‘Oh Sar.’ Faith stood up quickly and whisked her off to the greenhouse. ‘Come on in,’ she told Sara, ushering her towards the quiet cosiness of the back of the structure. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘It’s Tony,’ Sara sobbed. ‘We haven’t had sex in nearly a year.’
‘What?’ Faith knocked over her bottle of Smirnoff Ice — talk about reliving my teenage years, she thought ruefully — and watched it fizz all over the greenhouse floor.
Sara sat down and put her head in her hands.
‘I knew something was up with you,’ Faith said. ‘You’ve lost your spark.’
‘I haven’t had my spark in a long time.’
‘A year,’ Faith said in horror. ‘Why?’
‘I don’t know,’ Sara wailed. ‘He won’t talk about it. At first it was just “I’m tired”, or “maybe tomorrow”, and then tomorrow never came, and neither did I,’ she laughed humourlessly, ‘I started trying to push him on it a bit, find out what was bothering him, but he just clammed straight up. He won’t discuss it at all. Flatly refuses.’
‘Have you tried subtly seducing him?’ Faith asked.
‘How would I do that?’
‘God, I don’t know.’ She thought for a moment. ‘Go to bed naked? Jump him first thing in the morning? Give him a bit of dirty talk?’
‘I have tried in the morning,’ Sara said, ‘but he just gets up and goes off for a shower. And probably a wank,’ she said, suddenly furious, ‘he stays in there for long enough.’
‘Go and get in with him,’ Faith suggested.
‘He locks the door,’ Sara groaned, and she put her hand over her eyes again. ‘I’m starting to feel like a sex pest. What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he want me?’
‘I can’t begin to think why,’ Faith said. ‘Is he stressed about something? Like money or work?’
‘Not that I know of,’ Sara said. ‘Work’s OK. We’re not flat broke. We get by.’
‘Did anything happen?’ Faith asked. ‘Maybe he drank too much one night and couldn’t perform, something like that?’
Sara frowned. ‘I don’t think so. I can’t really remember the specifics of the last time we had sex. At the time I didn’t know it was going to be the last time. He just doesn’t want it at all, which makes me wonder — was he forcing himself before? Just to keep me happy?’
‘Oh sweetheart,’ Faith said. ‘You poor thing.’
‘I feel so unattractive,’ Sara said, and Faith was horrified to see fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘I know sex doesn’t equal love but it’s important to me. I’m not a knockout, but I always feel like a queen in bed. Plus there are many benefits to a good seeing-to. Improved concentration, better circulation, glowing skin and hair…’
‘You sound like an advert for shagging,’ Faith giggled. ‘Fresh breath and a healthy glossy coat.’
Sara laughed too. ‘It’s true though,’ she said.
‘I wouldn’t know,’ Faith sighed. ‘I haven’t had sex with anybody since Rob and I can’t say I was bouncing with joi de vivre or glossy hair afterwards. Not lately, anyway. Ugh. I miss it.’
They sat together glumly, sharing Sara’s drink. ‘We need more booze,’ Sara said, getting to her feet. ‘Come on. Let’s go out there like the pair of chaste losers we are and hold our heads up high.’
Faith watched Sara and Tony and now she knew, the tension between them was obvious. Every time Sara turned towards him or laid a hand on his arm, he visibly tensed and moved away. What was his problem, Faith wondered? Why would a man just go off sex like that — and not even talk to his girlfriend about it? She shook her head. Thank goodness for Minel and Paul, the shining beacon, the talisman of what a couple could be if they were lucky enough to meet at the right time and continue to grow together.
Like she and Rik might have done.
Speak of the devil. He had wandered up, brandishing a bottle of vodka.
‘Having fun?’ Faith asked breathlessly.
‘Not really. Minel and Paul are talking to Lucinda about interior design,’ he pulled a disgusted face, ‘and I had to sit and listen to Tony and tall, blonde and steroids talk about weightlifting. I’ve been looking for you all over the place.’
‘Why?’
‘To talk to, of course,’ he said. ‘Where did you get to?’
‘Just cackling in the greenhouse with Sara,’ she said airily.
‘Something tells me that conversation would have been far more interesting than what I just had to endure.’
One of the teenagers slipped on a puddle of stray water left by GT from one of his many missions into the pool. He yelped as he attempted to right himself, windmilling his arms before landing in the pool, sending a fountain of water up the sides and all over Rik.
Rik pulled his soaked t-shirt off. Faith tried and failed not to stare at the way the light from the candles Minel had set out flickered on his skin, casting shadows across the muscles in his chest and stomach. How can Lucinda be ogling Lofty when she has that at home? she wondered.
Sara wolf-whistled. Rik flung his t-shirt in her direction and she caught it and wrung it out before clutching it to her chest exaggeratedly.
‘Oh, grow up,’ Faith heard Tony say.
Paul had escaped the interior décor chat and wandered over to help the spluttering teen out of the pool. The teen skulked back to his sniggering mates, most of whom had pulled out their mobile phones to film his undignified swim.
Paul patted Rik’s shoulder. ‘Been working out, mate?’ He puffed his own considerable chest out pointedly. ‘You don’t look as scrawny as you used to.’
Rik rolled his eyes. ‘You mean since I last worked on site with you, when I was eighteen?’
‘Has it been that long?’ Paul looked nostalgic. ‘That was a fun couple of years, having to put up with your attitude over the school holidays.’
‘I was never as bad as that lot.’ Rik gestured at the huddled youths.
‘You were much worse. Until I whipped you into shape.’
‘You look in pretty good shape now,’ Sara said. ‘I barely recognise the skinny kid who was always first in line when Min and I did the sandwich run.’ She ruffled his hair affectionately.
Faith stayed silent, unable to join in with the references to a time that had not involved her. They must have had fun, she thought wistfully, and stayed a tight group while I was noticably absent.
Watching her friends enjoy a shared history that didn’t involve her was almost as painful as watching Rik and Lucinda enjoy a shared present, and possibly future, that was equally exclusive.
Lofty wandered over. ‘Talking about working out?’ He eyed Rik dismissively. ‘You could use a bit of bulking up,’ he said. ‘If you want me to run you through some of my drills, just let me know.’
Minel and Lucinda had also drifted over to join them.
‘Why are you half-naked?’ Lucinda demanded.
‘So everybody can tell me I need to work out, apparently,’ Rik grumbled.
Lofty had pulled off his own t-shirt and was flexing away merrily, talking completely to himself about his rigorous daily workout routine. Lucinda nodded approvingly, then turned to Rik. ‘Maybe you should,’ she said playfully.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Faith, finally jolted out of her reprieve, snapped before she could help herself. ‘You’re fine the way you are,’ she said hotly to Rik. ‘More than fine.’ Shut up, her brain sirened.
Lucinda’s face darkened. ‘You should go and get dressed.’ She turned back to Minel before Rik could respond.
What does he see in her? Faith wondered. Lucinda was utterly gorgeous, there was no disputing that, but she seemed to have a complete sense of humour failure.
She wondered how Lucinda felt about Rik when he came home sweating and covered in mud after an afternoon mountain-biking, then hastily distracted herself when her thoughts automatically turned to how she would feel about Rik were he to come home to her sweaty and excitable and covered in mud.
Minel was laughing at something Lucinda had said. Traitor, Faith thought, and she knew she was being unfair. Minel was so warm and friendly towards everybody and she had no idea how Faith felt about Rik, not that it would have made any difference because Rik was here with Lucinda, not her. She really needed to stop thinking about him as anything other than a friend. Even though he wasn’t helping matters, standing there with his top still off — which she was willing to bet was entirely down to him refusing to acquiesce to Lucinda talking to him like a naughty child.
He looked up and caught her watching him and smiled completely unselfconsciously, a secret sort of smile that felt like it was meant only for her, and her heart started soaring and floating inexorably upwards and expanding like it were her own personal sun, sending rays of warmth and light all around her body.
Then she realised Minel and Lucinda were standing next to her.
Rik must have been smiling at Lucinda, not her. She felt a wave of disappointment crash over her, and felt suddenly tired and defeated.
‘I’d better head off,’ she said to Minel.
‘You can’t drive,’ Minel said immediately. ‘Stay at the house.’
Faith didn’t fancy waking up to the Rik and Lucinda show. ‘I brought my bike,’ she said. ‘It’ll only take me ten minutes.’
‘Rik and I should turn in too,’ Lucinda said, unnecessarily smugly, Faith thought. ‘We’ve got a christening up in London tomorrow and we need to go to IKEA.’
‘Sounds fun,’ Faith said automatically, thinking the only thing that could glorify IKEA for her would be giggling away with Rik over those implausible names.
Lucinda marched over to Rik and put a perfectly manicured hand on his bare shoulder, tightening her fingers possessively. ‘Shall we go?’
‘I’m not going to bed,’ Rik said indignantly.
‘You’re being very childish,’ Lucinda hissed. ‘We have to go to IKEA and —’
‘IKEA?’ Rik looked disgusted. ‘I’d rather nick myself shaving.’
‘You’d have to start shaving first,’ Lucinda snapped.
‘Why are you going home so early?’ Rik asked Faith, who shrugged and averted her eyes, sticking her hands in her pockets.
Aware his mistress might be deserting him, GT appeared at Faith’s feet, shoving himself determinedly between them and rubbed his little furry body approv
ingly against his beloved ankle.
‘Sorry, baby,’ Faith sighed to the puppy. ‘I’d love to take you home and curl up in bed with you, but I think there’s at least one woman here who might have something to say about that.’ He was Minel’s dog, after all, she reminded herself. ‘But don’t worry, I’ll be back on Monday and you can wrap yourself around me again as soon as she turns her back.’ She smiled at the puppy affectionately.
There was a long, heavily strained silence.
‘Um, who are you talking to?’ Lucinda shrilled. Minel looked utterly scandalised and even Rik was temporarily lost for words and just staring at her and she didn’t even want to begin to read the expression on his face.
‘Him, of course,’ Faith said, gesturing towards her feet. ‘GT,’ she prompted. Lucinda still looked completely lost. ‘The dog?’ Faith said, wondering if Lucinda was a bit tapped.
‘Oh god.’ Rik shook his head a little and went off into fits of giggles. ‘Didn’t see him down there,’ he said, doubling over with mirth. Lucinda looked more po-faced than ever.
‘Who did you think I was talking to?’ Faith said, confused, then she remembered the last person she’d addressed before GT distracted her was Rik and felt a crash of mortification wash over her. Even Minel was sniggering, but Lucinda most definitely didn’t seem to think it was funny and neither did she.
Crimson with embarrassment, Faith shoved GT away and stormed off, hearing Rik and Minel still laughing helplessly behind her.
Chapter 12
By Monday Faith had begun to see the funny side of the excruciating incident by the swimming pool with Rik and Lucinda. She would have to apologise to her, she supposed, but maybe Lucinda would also see it for what it was, a genuine mistake, and it might even break some of the seemingly endless ice between them.
She arrived early enough to catch Lucinda before she drove off but to her surprise Lucinda, resplendent in denim hotpants and an immaculate white cami, clearly wasn’t going anywhere. ‘I thought I’d hang around for a few days,’ she said to Faith, looking far from thrilled to see her. ‘Watch my man in action.’
