by Marci Bolden
He gave her a lopsided grin. “I’m just a guy who owns a kayak shop on a beautiful lake.”
Jade doubted his life was that simple but let his avoidance slide. He had a story, a past that had shaped him into the facade he presented to the world. Every once in a while, he dropped his sexy smirks and thin come-ons to reveal a genuine and kind soul. One that probably had as many dings and bruises as everyone else’s.
Silence fell over them as Liam led them to the other side of the lake. As they neared an area with rocky cliffs, he told Jade about the landscape and history that had happened there. Rather than the heavier discussion of her divorce and current frame of mind, he recited facts like a well-learned tour guide. When they stopped close to a rock wall, he removed the bungee cord securing the cooler. In the shade of the sassafras tree branches hanging over the lake, he served the lunch she’d packed.
After taking a bite, he moaned his appreciation. “This is an amazing turkey sandwich.”
“Thanks,” Jade said with a smile. “It’s my specialty.”
“I thought that was kale.”
She chuckled. “I have more than one.”
He tossed a wink her way, and Jade sighed as she shook her head.
“You really need to stop falling back on that insufferable playboy persona. It’s annoying as hell, Liam.”
“Ouch,” he said with a laugh. “And to think I just complimented your sandwich-making skills.”
“I just mean…you don’t always have to be on. You don’t always have to be trying to woo people. I can see through your act, and it’s starting to come across as sad.”
He had the sense to look a little offended. “We all put on acts, Jade. You’re putting on an act right now.”
Creasing her brow, she asked, “How so?”
“Chin-up, march forward, pretend that your heart isn’t crushed by your husband’s betrayal.”
“I’m not pretending,” she argued. “I’m fully aware. But I also know that my time in this world is limited. I’m not going to waste one precious day wondering why he did what he did. I know why. We’d grown apart, and he gave up instead of trying to make things better. I can’t change that. I can’t fix our marriage. Why would I cling to it?”
Liam toasted her with his bottle of water as his signature smirk returned. “Why, indeed? I’m glad you’re so in touch with your feelings.”
His sarcastic reply reignited the irritation she’d felt on the beach. She’d made a point in telling him she wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship, but she was starting to realize she wasn’t really interested in having a friend who constantly encouraged her to be angry either. She was trying to better herself, and being furious with Nick every waking moment was not taking her in the right direction. “You should try getting in touch with your feelings, Liam,” she responded with the same flat tone. “Being honest with yourself is quite refreshing.”
He capped his drink and met her gaze. “Are you being honest with yourself? Or are you ignoring your wounds, hoping they don’t get infected?”
His words struck an unexpected nerve. Jade took a breath and sat taller. “I think you could ask yourself that question.”
“I’m asking you,” he said.
She was moments away from lashing out, but she exhaled and laughed lightly. This jerk had no right to question her mental and emotional well-being, especially when he was so obviously denying his own issues. No. She was not engaging in this conversation any longer.
“This has been interesting,” she said, putting her sandwich back into the baggie, “but I need to get out of the sun before I burn.”
“Jade,” he called as she dropped what was left of her lunch inside the kayak.
She ignored him and shoved her paddle into the water. He could easily catch up to her, but she didn’t care. Getting into an argument with Liam wasn’t on her list of things she wanted to do right now.
Or ever for that matter.
She’d admitted she was still processing her feelings about Nick’s decision to leave her. She didn’t need some faux Zen junkie telling her she wasn’t doing that right. To hell with him for thinking she needed him to help her process her heartbreak.
Jade made it all the way to shore before looking back. Liam hadn’t followed her. Good. She dragged her kayak the rest of the way out of the water, secured the paddle, and grabbed her lunch. She didn’t have the smooth finesse that Liam used to lift the kayak, but she managed to carry it across the street without stumbling.
She dropped her kayak next to the rack just as Parker came out of the store.
“Where’s Liam?” Parker asked.
“Burning in hell if I’m lucky,” Jade snapped.
Parker didn’t seem the least bit fazed by the response.
“How are you doing?” Jade asked with a softer tone.
Though Parker tended to avoid eye contact more than not these days, she diverted her eyes only for a moment before focusing on Jade again. “I’m okay. Thanks for asking.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“See you later, Jade,” she called as Jade headed toward her car.
She didn’t make it far when she turned around and faced Liam’s employee. “Hey. What is his problem anyway?”
“Who? Liam?”
“Yes, Liam. Batter of eyelashes and giver of smarmy smiles.”
Parker giggled. “He’s not as bad as he pretends to be. He’s actually a good guy once you get to know him. I’m not sure what I would have done if he hadn’t given me a job, even though I can’t do much these days.” She rested her hand on her belly. The way she waddled more than walked implied the baby would be coming soon. “You just have to give him a chance.”
Jade glanced at the lake and saw Liam paddling toward shore. “Yeah, I did that. He still pisses me off. See you later,” she said and left before she had to have another confrontation.
Jade set a glass of water on the counter and eyed Taylor, who had conveniently been examining the banister when Jade had returned to the cabin. However, Jade wasn’t buying the accidental run in. Taylor had been waiting for Jade to return, and Jade was pretty sure she knew why. Taylor was horrified at the idea that Jade was buying this cabin and was going to try to talk her out of it.
Jade really wasn’t in the mood for this, but with Taylor staring at her, clearly trying to find the right words, Jade knew she couldn’t avoid the discussion. “I’m buying the cabin.”
Taylor shook her head slightly. “You can’t, Jade. Darby never even had an inspection. You have no idea what you’re getting into, but I can tell you it’s bad. It’s really bad.”
“I know.”
“There could be mold or termites or plumbing issues,” Taylor said, sounding desperate in her plea.
Jade sat at the table and gestured for Taylor to sit across from her. Once she did, Jade said, “I know this place needs a lot of work. I know it’s a fixer-upper.”
“It’s way more than that. Darby has done nothing but put bandages over gaping wounds.”
“I’ll get an inspection,” Jade assured her. “I’m not going into this blind, Taylor.”
“But you are. You’ve already told her you’ll buy this dump. She’ll freak on you if you try to back out.”
Jade shrugged. “I’m not going to back out.”
Taylor sank back in the bench. “Whatever she tries to sell it to you for, it is too much. This place needs too much work.”
Jade nodded. Everything about this place was on the verge of falling apart and while she appreciated Taylor’s concern, Jade was frustrated Taylor wasn’t giving her enough credit to understand what she was doing. “I can do it. I want to do it.”
“No. Jade—”
“Listen,” she stated firmly, “I like the location. I don’t even mind how small this place is. The size is kind of refreshing, actually. I’ve lived in that big house for years. I don’t want all that space anymore. It’s too much. I want to start over with a more minimalistic lifestyle so
I can focus on what’s important. I want peace and quiet.”
“There are dozens of other lakefront cabins you could buy.”
“Yes,” Jade said, “but I like this one. I like being on the cove where there aren’t a lot of people. There aren’t crowds in this part of the lake. I like that. And I like being next door to Darby. I’ve never had close friends before. I’m really looking forward to spending more time here with you guys. We’ve had some really good times, Taylor.”
“Yes, but the roof—”
Jade scoffed at the amount of pushback she was getting. “I know. Look, when I get an inspection, if I’m told this place isn’t worth fixing up, then I’ll have it torn down and build something new. Right here, because this is where I want to be.”
Taylor stared at Jade for a few seconds and gently said, “Jade, you’re still reeling from Nick leaving you. You’re feeling off-balance and uncertain. And you’re making rash decisions. You need to take time to process all that you are going through before making any big decisions.”
Jade frowned and sat back as she realized the heart of the matter wasn’t the cabin. Nick. The issue was Nick. Just like Liam, Taylor thought her job was to tell Jade how to grieve for her dead marriage. Just like Liam, Taylor thought Jade wasn’t processing things right.
“I am still reeling,” Jade stated, trying to sound calmer than she felt, “but I have to start my life over. I can’t wait until I come to terms with his affair. I refuse to waste my life hanging on to someone who doesn’t want me. I have to start moving forward, and this is the perfect place to do that.”
Taylor pressed her lips together, as if debating her next move. “What about your job, Jade? Your house? Your kids? You have to remember your decisions have ripple effects.”
“I can commute to my job. I’m selling my house anyway. And my fully grown children know they can count on me, but they are adults now. I don’t have to measure every decision I make on how it impacts them. Any other personal issues you’d like me to clarify?” she asked, letting her frustration slip.
Taylor sat back. “You’re really getting mad at me for looking out for you?”
“No, I’m getting mad because you’re treating me like a child who can’t make her own decisions. And, to be frank, I’m a little pissy about how you’re going about making your point. Darby thinks you’re throwing her under the bus on this cabin thing.”
Taylor crossed her arms. “Because I’m honest about what a shithole this place is?”
“Because she felt like you were choosing me over her,” Jade snapped. “She’s been hurt, Taylor. We’ve all been hurt. We need to be more careful with each other.”
“I’m not going to let you get screwed over because she can’t deal with adulthood.”
Jade lifted a brow. “It’s not your job to save me. I know this place is a dump. I’m going in with my eyes wide open.”
“She’s rubbing off on you,” Taylor said softly. “You’re making bad decisions without thinking them through. You’re being reckless. You have to think ahead, Jade. You need to look at what you’re getting into before you jump. You’re being irresponsible.”
Jade shook her head. “If I didn’t have the ability to invest in the cabin, I would be acting irresponsibly. I can afford to fix the cabin or build a new one, if needed. I’m not being irresponsible, Taylor. I’m living my life for the first time ever. I’m making decisions for me, not for the children who don’t need me any longer or a husband who has been secretly plotting to leave me for who knows how long. I only have to worry about myself. This is what I want.”
Taylor looked at her with the same kind of pity Liam had when he’d found out she was in remission.
“Jade,” Taylor said sadly, “you don’t know that. You haven’t spent enough time in Chammont Point to know if you want to live here. You might not even like it once you get here.”
Jade stared across the table, not completely understanding where Taylor was coming from. Like Darby and Liam, she sensed there was more to the story than she was seeing. Maybe if the conversation didn’t feel so tense, Jade would push and pry, but at the moment, she was simply tired of having to defend herself. “Well, if it isn’t, then I’ll leave.”
“Just like that?” Taylor asked.
“Yeah. Just like that. I’m not hurting anyone.”
“Except yourself.”
Frowning, Jade lifted her hands to show her lack of concern. “At least I would have tried, Taylor. What else am I going to do? Go home to a big empty house and wonder why he didn’t love me? Work countless hours for more things I don’t want or need? Maybe I won’t find what I’m looking for in Chammont Point, but I already know it isn’t in Fairfax, so why shouldn’t I try living here?”
Taylor twined her fingers together and looked at them for a few seconds before lifting her gaze. “Is it true that you went on a date with Liam today?”
“It wasn’t a date. We went kayaking.”
“Do you really think that’s a good idea? You’re clearly feeling vulnerable.”
Furrowing her brow, Jade repeated, “Vulnerable?”
“Jade, you’re acting carelessly. You are not thinking things through. You’re going to get yourself hurt.”
Just like Liam had earlier, Taylor’s words struck something raw inside of Jade. “I consider us friends. I really do. But you don’t know me well enough to be dishing out this lecture.”
“It’s not a lecture.”
“It is, and I don’t appreciate it. Yes, I am going through a lot of changes right now, but I’m a big girl. I can handle making my own choices, and I can handle Liam, just to be clear.”
Sadness filled Taylor’s eyes. “You’re going to get hurt.”
“If I do, that’s my business,” Jade said more sharply than intended. “I’m not seeking your approval. On whom I see or what I buy.”
Taylor shook her head slightly. Jade recognized that move. It was one of a parent fed up with trying to talk reason into a petulant child. Again, Jade’s anger piqued. She inhaled slowly to stop herself from saying something she’d regret.
“Okay. You don’t need my approval. But you are going to need a different contractor, because there is absolutely no way I’m getting involved in this mess. Good night and good luck.” She slid from the table and headed for the door.
Jade considered calling out to stop her friend from leaving, but the words wouldn’t form. She sat in silence, replaying her crap-tastic day over and over in her mind. She’d be leaving for Fairfax the next afternoon, and she didn’t want to go home with two disagreements weighing on her.
At first Jade was too shocked at how the conversation had turned. But then she thought maybe Taylor was right, maybe she was being too spontaneous. She had been through a lot lately, and jumping into buying the cabin probably was a little bit irresponsible, but buying this place felt right. Jade leaned against the table and contemplated what had led to the argument with Taylor.
As she looked around the cabin, she wished she had someone other than Darby and Taylor to talk to about the things happening in her life. This would usually be a discussion she would have had with Nick, but she didn’t think she should rely on him for that any longer.
What would she say? Hey, honey, I had a terrible day. It turns out you leaving me for someone else is having a deeper impact on me than I’ve been telling myself, and apparently I’m spiraling out of control.
A wry laugh left her, and she shook her head.
She really had screwed herself over by being so narrowly focused for so long. She could call her dad, but he was already worried about her. Ever since she’d told him about her impending divorce, he’d been pushing her to slow down and reconsider every step she made…much like Taylor had.
Her mom tended to get quiet and usually ended up crying. Jade didn’t need that any more than she needed someone offering advice on how she should be dealing with her divorce.
Jade grabbed her phone off the counter, curled up on th
e sofa, and scrolled through her contacts until she settled on calling her oldest son. She waited, expecting the call to go to voice mail as it usually did, but Xander answered.
After a few minutes of catching up, Jade ran her idea by him. She was going to buy the “shit shack” they’d rented in Chammont Point with the intent of remodeling. As soon as she finished her sales pitch, she waited, expecting him to tell her it was a terrible idea.
“That’s cool,” he said instead.
“Cool?”
“Yeah. Owen and I had a really good time on the lake, Mom. Once you get the ladder fixed so we don’t risk our lives climbing it, we’ll come visit. That’d be awesome.”
Jade’s smile spread and her confidence returned. Xander and Owen had enjoyed their time with her on the lake. They thought this was cool. That was all she needed to hear. She didn’t care what Taylor said or what her father would say. She was doing it. She was buying Tranquility Cabin. “That would be incredibly awesome,” she said.
“Have, um… Have you talked to Dad this week?”
Jade blinked a few times, surprised by his question. “No.”
“Oh, um…”
“What?” she pressed.
“He called me and Owen to let us know he’d signed the divorce papers. I thought maybe he’d told you too.”
Jade’s heart felt like a boulder falling out of a plane. “Oh. I suppose I’ll be hearing from my attorney soon, then.”
“I’m still pissed at him,” Xander said.
“I have my moments too, but that’s not going to change anything.”
Xander was quiet for a few seconds. “He wants us to meet her.”
Jade held her breath. “He seems to care for her very much—”
“Don’t, Mom. Owen and I have talked about it. We know we have to do this, but it’s too soon. We’ll meet her when we’re ready. I just wanted you to know because… I don’t know why, but I don’t want to feel like I’m keeping his secrets from you.”
Jade blinked. Tears started to form in her eyes. “I appreciate that, but this isn’t your mess, kiddo. You aren’t responsible for your dad’s actions, and it isn’t your job to protect me. I need you to know that. I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck in the middle.”
