by Robin Roseau
Malta glanced away for a moment then said, “I’ve been trying to find an assistant.” Then she shifted her gaze. “We thought we had one for me, and my eventual replacement besides, but things changed.”
“Me?” I squeaked.
“Yes,” she said. “Our plan was that you would be Juleena’s chatelaine.”
“I am sorry for that,” Yahamala said. “The change that returned Yallameenara to me was a loss for you. But that was years ago.”
“A few years ago, we thought we had someone. Actually, we were considering two people. They both looked promising.”
“What happened?”
“You understand the amount of responsibility I have,” Malta said.
“I do.”
“You understand the trust the queen holds in me.”
“I do,” Yahamala repeated.
“Anyone who works so closely with me must be every bit as trustworthy,” Malta explained. “And I do not have the ability to see into their hearts.” She shifted her glance to me.
“Malta asked me to help with this,” I said.
“And you have found the available candidates lacking?” Yahamala asked. “Surely there is someone in Marport.”
“I haven’t helped yet,” I said. “I wasn’t sure if I should. I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
The Goddess understood immediately. She lifted one of her hands and caressed my cheek. “Yalla, my Yalla. You still see yourself as a little girl of The Hippa.”
“I don’t understand what that has to do with this.”
“You are my agent, Yalla. Even more importantly, everything I am is a reflection of you. You wouldn’t have these abilities if I didn’t have complete faith in you.”
“You taught me how to look so that I could do your work.”
“Yalla, the good health of Framara is my work.” She brushed my cheek and then gave a small kiss. She turned back to look at Malta. “With Yallameenara’s help, how long will it take to find an assistant or three?”
I echoed the words for Larien to translate, going back to my duties for the Goddess. Malta put on a pensive looking for a moment then said, “If I only wished an assistant, or three, as you suggest, perhaps not long. But I want someone who can take over for me. That might take years.”
“And so while this girl is being born, there is no one who can do your duties?”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking,” Malta admitted.
“I can help to place a child into Parmeed,” Yahamala said. “But as things stand, Malta will not be the second parent. I will choose someone closer to me.”
“I’m supposed to tell her that?” I asked.
“You are.”
“And who will be the second mother?”
She smiled. “That will be your choice, Yalla.”
“Mine?” I squeaked.
“Yours,” she said. “Perhaps you will volunteer Larien.”
“You’re talking about how the child is made? You want Parmeed to lie with someone else?”
“Oh, that part isn’t necessary,” Yahamala said. “I will take a part of you, or Larien, or perhaps dear Féla, and I will combine it with the portion from Parmeed. Now, tell them what I said.”
I nodded then paraphrased what she had said. Larien translated. Malta hung her head. “We understand.”
And then Yahamala said, “Unless.”
Malta looked up and narrowed her eyes. “Unless what?”
“Ah, she is so accustomed to intrigue,” Yahamala said. “Unless Malta takes the steps we have discussed, and I have one other requirement. But she must be involved as a complete mother. I want to know how she will make that work from the very beginning.”
They waited for the translation, and then Parmeed offered her own smile. “Mother.”
“Excuse me?” Malta asked.
“Mother,” Parmeed said. She grinned. “It will get her goat to take orders from you, but she’d be good, and you know it.”
“She’s older than I am.”
“So?”
“It’s not like she can replace me when I retire. Besides, she always complains she has too many responsibilities.”
“She doesn’t always complain,” Parmeed said. “She’s muttered about it twice.”
“If she did it in front of me, I bet she does it a lot more when I’m not around,” Malta countered.
“Yes, well. I’m not talking about your replacement. I’m talking about someone to help you now.”
“What do you think, Yalla?” the Goddess asked.
“Lady Reese would be very good,” I said. “I admire her.”
“And so, Malta?”
“I can’t see Reese agreeing,” Malta said.
“Oh please,” Parmeed snorted. “She’d agree to anything if it means we give her granddaughters.”
Malta offered her own snort. “That part is true.”
“Furthermore, she likes you, Malta.”
“I still need to find assistants.”
“But this would give you time,” Yahamala said. “Is this a good plan, Malta?”
Malta thought about it and said, “If she agrees, and if she can work for me instead of thinking I work for her.”
“Yallameenara will talk to her about that,” said the Goddess. “But now I realize that I have one more requirement, and for that, my apologies. Let us address the easier one. Parmeed, I wish your mother to accept me into her life.”
“She’s already begun,” I said. “Watching Parmeed’s tummy begin to grow will seal the deal. I’ll take care of this.”
“Good. Last. Malta, I literally cannot do this unless you more completely open your heart to me.”
When Malta heard that, she looked away. No one said anything until finally she whispered, barely audible, “I don’t know how.”
“Ah, but I do,” Yahamala replied. “Malta, I cannot force this upon you. I can give Parmeed a child, and I know you will be the best parent you can be.”
“Malta,” Parmeed said. Her tone was enough.
“Please, Prestainamatta,” Malta said. “But I don’t know what to do,” she repeated.
“Do you wish to give me a larger home in your heart?”
“Yes.”
“And you are inviting me to make myself comfortable there?”
Malta smiled weakly. “Yes.”
“Parmeed, will you share a portion of Malta’s heart with me?”
“Yes, Prestainamatta.”
Yahamala smiled widely. “Yalla, you will need to help. Tell Parmeed not to be too surprised.” I did that, and then, at Yahamala’s urging, we stood. The Goddess then guided my hands. I set one upon Malta’s cheek and another over her heart. The Goddess set her hands over mine, actually wrapping around me to do so.
“Wrap your arms around me,” I told Malta.
“Yalla,” whispered the Goddess into my ear. “The words and intent must be hers. She must offer a portion of her love to me, and give me leave to help her do so.”
I nodded. “Malta, is this done willingly?”
“Yes, Yalla.”
“Then you must invite her, and invite us to help.”
Malta nodded. “Where is she?”
“Wrapped around me.” I turned and kissed a divine cheek.
“Yalla, I will enter you as we do this. We will be one.”
I kissed the cheek again. “She’ll work through me,” I said. “I’m not sure what she’s going to do, Malta.”
“I trust her,” Malta said. “Yahamala, I have thought of you as Yallameenara’s Goddess since she first returned from Alteara. It wasn’t until we began to assemble your temple that I began to learn more of you, although I admit I was quite surprised when your statue appeared in the palace.” She paused but looked me in the eye. “It was through Yalla that I began to learn of you. I have loved her…” She broke off and looked at Parmeed.
“It’s okay, My Darling,” she said. “Say it.”
Malta nodded and looked back into
my eyes. “I have loved you, not quite as a daughter, for a very long time, Yalla.”
“A daughter?” Parmeed snorted.
“Not quite a daughter,” Malta repeated. “You grew into such a fine, fierce woman. I grew enamored of you, and if I was originally feeling somewhat big sisterly for a while, that turned into something else.”
“Malta?” I whispered.
“You went away. You came back. You had changed. You were haunted, but you came back with such light, such striking changes, and you brought the teachings of your goddess with you. I watched you, and I watched those around you. It was Ralalta who asked me, oh, a few months after you returned, ‘What do you think of this goddess?’ I didn’t know, but I asked if she were going to give her – you – a chance.”
“She gave us more than a chance,” I replied.
“From time to time, I ask Her Majesty a question in a fashion that she knows I am expressing an opinion while not quite making it sound like an opinion.” Parmeed snorted again. “Ralalta gave you a chance, and so did I.” She closed her eyes for a moment, and then I saw her make the final decision.
“Trust is difficult for me. Yahamala, will you please help me feel Our Prestainamatta the way Yallameenara does?”
I felt joy fill me, and I knew it came from Our Prestainamatta. It wasn’t often that I truly felt the Our part of that when dealing with anyone who wasn’t a priestess. But with Malta’s words, and with the joy coming from the Goddess, I felt it more than I ever had.
She filled me, and I believe I began to glow. Parmeed gave a little gasp. Malta’s eyes widened, and her mouth opened. “Oooh,” she said slowly.
And then Our Prestainamatta claimed me more completely, something she did rarely. I moved not of my accord, but of hers, but somehow it was mine at the same time. We moved closer, and We kissed the corner of Malta’s mouth, then the other corner, then dead center.
Our eyes closed, a moment behind Malta’s. The magic flared further, and suddenly I felt Malta in her entirety, the way I did when looking deep inside someone.
And I felt Yahamala talking, and Malta understanding. “Accept me, Malta.”
I knew in that instant Malta’s decision. I felt links. I felt a link from Malta to Parmeed, and others as well, the second strongest to Ralalta, but others as well.
There was a link to me, a rather possessive link. Malta saw me as hers, at least a little. But that link changed, grew, and became more even.
And a new link formed, wrapped in and around the one to me, a link with Our Prestainamatta.
I felt Malta’s acceptance, more than acceptance.
We parted, stepping away from her, and opened our eyes. We were still glowing. Without the direct contact, I didn’t feel all of Malta’s links, but I felt the link between us, overlaid with the link to Yahamala.
“It is like the link to our priestesses,” I whispered. “Is it permanent?”
“As permanent as you both desire,” replied Our Prestainamatta, speaking directly from inside me.
“Then it is only right that we forge one other,” I said. And this time what happened was entirely my doing, but I felt Our Prestainamatta laughing in her joy. I stepped to Parmeed, pulling her into my arms. She wrapped around me, and I looked into her eyes. “Say, ‘Yes,’” I told her.
“Yes,” she said.
We kissed, exactly as I had kissed her wife, and a fresh link formed. It wasn’t identical to the link with Malta, as she and I saw each other quite differently than Parmeed and I did. But the link was similar in nature.
And then we separated. Parmeed opened her eyes and asked, “What did you do?”
“Can you feel it?”
“I feel you,” she said. “And I think someone else.”
“I would hope you would feel someone else,” I said with a smile.
“Our Prestainamatta?”
“Uh, huh,” I said.
“Is it done, then?” Parmeed asked. She set her hand atop her stomach.
“Not quite,” I said. “Prestainamatta?” And with that, I knew what I must do. I smiled at one, then the other. “I must touch you both. It is intimate. You must guide my hand. It begins here.” I set my hand upon my own stomach, but then I made a small gesture, in case my words hadn’t been enough. Then I offered one hand to each.
They both accepted. Parmeed stepped closer and pressed my hand against her stomach, both of hers over mine. Malta took my wrist but asked, “Over Parmeed?”
“No. Your own, Malta.”
And so, she didn’t hold my hand quite as Parmeed did. She held the wrist, and used that to guide me, but she added her free hand atop my fingers.
I felt the magic begin to flow forward, and then without prompting, both women guided my hand lower, and lower until I was cupping their womanhood through their clothing.
The magic flowed through me, and in, and around, and I didn’t really understand what happened, but there was tingling and smiles, and then both women pulled away from me.
Parmeed turned to Malta. “I need you. Now!”
“Go,” we said, the Goddess speaking through me.
Malta grabbed Parmeed’s hand. They turned and fled the room.
Tears Suppressed
I’m not going to say too much. It hurt. It hurt so much. But I can’t skip this entirely.
We reached Lopéna. The entire royal family, minus my wife, greeted us from the palace steps. Every time I arrived, I remembered my first arrival here. I’d been so angry and so scared. Since then, it had been a time of joy, but this time, our visit would be more bittersweet.
Mandi and Nissi both dropped from their mounts and ran to their grandparents. The King and Queen both stooped down and accepted a child. It was Nissi who told her grandmother, “We’re going to live with you!”
I climbed somewhat more sedately from Hamper while Yahamala floated from her seat atop Zana. “Prestainamatta, do I need to worry you’re going to poof away?”
“No,” she said. “I am firmly here.” She tapped my chest, “and there, too.” She gestured to the girls. “I am fully anchored.” She gestured again. “Greet them.”
I turned and climbed the steps. The girls were jabbering happily, and I realized their grandparents had traded. Nissi was now seated upon Tradódid’s knee. Mesenorié had both arms around Mandi, but she looked up as I approached, raising an eyebrow.
“So,” I said. “Do you have room for two granddaughters, their tutor, and a goddess?”
Mesenorié’s eyes glistened, and she nodded then croaked, “Always.” She cleared her throat. “They’re staying.”
“We’ll talk,” I said. “Is it presumptuous to assume they’re welcome.”
“Don’t be daft,” said the king. “Of course it’s not.” Then he gently set my daughter on her feet and straightened, opening his arms. I went to him, and he wrapped around me. “Are you all right?”
“I’m trying to be strong,” I whispered. “I don’t want them to recognize how hard this is for me. I feel like a hypocrite.”
“Do you tell parents of your priestesses they are wrong to miss their daughters?”
I laughed weakly. “No.” Then I felt the Goddess at my back. “She’s here now.”
“Greetings, Tradódid,” said Yahamala. “It is good to see you, Mesenorié.”
* * * *
We settled into the palace, but an hour later saw us gathered together in the same conference room that had once held peace treaties. I looked around the room. It didn’t hold the best memories, but it was here that I had first began to recognize the influence I carried. Mesenorié caught my look, and I wondered if she was thinking the same things I was.
Probably not.
The room was actually rather crowded. Féla and Naddí had traveled with us. Líah was there, as everything that was to be discussed affected her. And of course, my usual trusted advisors, minus my wives, were with us.
“We’ll discuss the children first,” I said. “While they’re most fresh.” I exp
lained the agreement.
“We’re pleased to have them,” Tradódid declared. “Beyond pleased.”
“Líah will see to their continued training for Our Prestainamatta,” I said. “Of course, she’ll have divine help.” Líah smiled and nodded at that. “They’ll need other tutors for mundane topics, the things you would teach any princess of Alteara.”
“Of course,” Mesenorié said. “Is Talíahmarteen to serve as governess?”
“I would prefer you to assign someone, if that is possible. Their duties are somewhat different than that of your other grandchildren.”
“I know just the woman,” said the queen. “Someone kind who can stand up to a royal tantrum?”
I laughed. “Yes. And they have duties to you now, to Our Prestainamatta. They’re young for this responsibility, and Líah will help them. She has our utmost faith and trust, Your Majesties.”
“Of course,” they said together.
“I wish Lamarta had come with us,” Mandi declared. “Will we be too busy to play?”
“Play is important,” Yahamala declared. “You will play with me.” But she put on a pensive look. “Yalla, tomorrow we will visit the city.” I nodded to her, and then she said, “Yalla, I know this is hard for you.” She pressed her hands to her chest. “Thank you. Now, it must be as we discussed.”
“I know,” I whispered. I stood. “Larien. Terél, Naddí, Féla, Vérundia, Hastía, attend me, please.” And then I turned and strode quickly from the room, the others hurrying after me. As soon as the doors closed behind me, I added, “Naddí, don’t let anyone see me.”
She and Féla understood immediately. The two cleared a path while Larien and Terél took my arms.
I was sobbing long before we reached our quarters.
* * * *
As I lay on my side, I felt a weight settle in behind me. “How did they do?” I whispered.
“They did well,” Yahamala replied. “I love you so much.”
“I love you,” I replied. “Please hold me.”
“Of course, my lovely girl of The Hippa.” She wrapped around me, and we shared my pillow. “I was surprised to find your bed so lonely.”
