by Tina Moore
“Look, Mommy, I drew a picture of everyone,” you say, showing me a very accurate representation of the number of toys you have.
“Wow baby, you have so many. Maybe Mommy should stop buying you stuffies. I don’t think you need any more,” I playfully tease laughing at your shocked face.
“Baby, you’re going to have to get dressed after breakfast,” I say making it clear you will not fight me on going to work today. You nod and open your mouth for more yogurt, but I hold the spoon away from you.
“Use your words, sweetie,” I instruct and try not to smile as you pout and look annoyed.
“Yes, Mommy, I’ll get ready after yogi’s,” you say as I feed you another spoon.
“When can I wear click clack shoes like Mommy?” You suddenly ask, taking me by surprise. I look you up and down and laugh.
“Baby, you can’t wear heels yet, you’re too little. But how about after work, you come home and get dressed in big girl clothes, maybe that dress sexy green dress and come to Mommy’s favorite bar for a drink? You can wear click clack shoes then?” I ask, hoping you’ll say yes. I love taking you out and watching as people fall over themselves to get close to you; it only pushes you further into my arms. I love how you turn into Mommy’s sweet angel when you wear your big girl clothes. You clap your hands and almost run into my bedroom to get changed into your uniform as you finish your last mouthful.
I pack your lunch and wait in the car for you, turning on the heating and listening to the news. It’s raining and cold today, and you come out of the house without a jacket or an umbrella. I feel your cold little arms as you get in the car and send you back into the house to get your warm jacket and a big umbrella. You complain, and I can tell you forgot on purpose by your giggling.
“Don’t be silly for Mommy baby girl, you’ll catch a cold, and then Mommy will be very cross,” I say as you shut the car door. I see you a few minutes later in your warm black leather, faux fur lined bomber jacket and a bright pink umbrella. Gosh, you look stunning. Your hair is out today, and the way it bounces when you walk is so beautiful. You smile your wide toothy grin at me, and I turn on the windscreen wipers to catch a better glimpse of you.
“Good job sweetie,” I say, pulling out of the driveway turning the news off. I pass you your phone, and you cross your legs as you tap it with a feverishness that makes me wonder if everything is ok.
“Mommy look,” you say, holding up the screen to my face. I obviously can’t read it now.
“Baby tell Mommy what is says, I can’t look while I’m driving.” You begin reading out a message your friend Amy has written to you about how there’s a party next weekend. You want to go.
“Forward me the message, and I’ll see if we are free, I think we are though baby,” I say getting you excited. I wish you’d found a different friend, I think Amy is a brat, and I don’t like brats. The minute you try any of that shit on me, you’ll feel the sting of my hand on your pretty little bottom. But I don’t tell you that because I don’t want to shatter your excitement. I just let you talk about all the things you guys can do at the party, and I listen and smile at you.
“I’m happy you’ve found a friend sweetie, just remember that you’re Mommy’s good girl and don’t let her lead you into any trouble alright?” I ask lovingly. I look at you and can see you remember the last time you were punished. You’ve got your little serious face on, and you nod knowingly.
“I won’t Mommy,” you say seriously. I’m glad you remember your punishment. I worked very hard, making sure you would.
I pull up at the station and give you $5 to buy yourself a treat making you gasp excitedly. You stash it in your pocket and come around to my side of the car and open the door. You lean in and kiss me on my cheek, making my heart flutter.
“Bye, Mommy,” you half-whisper in my ear. Gosh, you are just divine darling.
“I love you baby girl, see you later,” I reply, pulling you forward for a hug. You hear your train and do your usual cute dash over the road as to not miss it, and I drive to work.
You’re a good girl as usual and send me photos of the sneaky things you do at work. Today you and your work friends finish the rubber band ball you’ve been working on, and it’s as big as your basketball. I constantly wonder how you all get away with such naughtiness but I’m happy you have so far. I don’t like it when other people punish you, that’s Mommy’s job. You show me the drawing you did of a fairy and prove that you’ve eaten all your lunch and had your medicine. I can tell you’re excited about tonight because you’re sending me makeup ideas you have. I love them all and cannot wait to take you out and talk to you about whatever grown-up thing crosses your little mind.
It feels like no time at all before I am sitting in a dark bar drinking a cocktail waiting for you. You’re ten minutes late by the time you walk through the doors, and I smirk as I see a man double take you. I know you are purposely standing in the entrance, letting the sunset of the city illuminate your silhouette against the darkness of the bar. You eventually walk in and go to the bar, leaning against it and sticking out your bottom. A bunch of suits approaches the bar, and you giggle as you take your drink, making them excited. I stand and come up behind you, making them wonder if we are together or if I am just as predatory as they are. Oh, little boys, I am both, I think to myself as I push against your bottom and place my arms on either side of you on the bar. You turn in my arms and kiss me deeply.
“Mommy,” you whisper into my mouth, and I pay for your drink and take your hand, leading you to the dark corner table I was previously sitting at.
“You look, beautiful baby,” I say taking you all in. You’ve freshly blow-dried your hair and let it fall elegantly around your shoulders. You’ve chosen a fantastic natural look with your makeup, and your bodycon dark green dress looks like it was made for your body. You blush at my compliment and look down to your new pedicure. You’re wearing the open toe dark cream heels I bought you last summer, and I’m happy you chose them they were too expensive to be kept locked up.
“So, how was work? Where are you stashing your rubber band ball?” I ask, mildly aware that people continue to steal glances of us. You laugh and take out your phone, flicking through your photos. I do find it bizarre that your generation insists on having visuals for one on one conversations, but I allow it, noting how proud you are when you find what you are looking for.
“Well, we are going to take it in turns, so everyone gets to have it for a week, and we played straws to figure out who would get it first, and I kinda won,” you say before showing me your phone. I smile and look down at the photo you’re showing me and laugh at out loud. I look back up at you and see that you’ve been mesmerized by my raspy laugh and I love that I have such power over you.
“So we get to have it in the house this week, huh?” I ask raising an eyebrow to your happily nodding head. You have this whole grown-up thing going on while letting your sweet little self escape more and more, and I can hardly take it.
“Baby you are such a darling,” I say full of love looking at you. We talk for a few more hours, and I turn down the people who come over to us. I love that you let me handle things like this you don’t even bother registering that they are there and I think that makes them even more interested in you.
“I remember when you tried that on me, it didn’t work on Mommy though did it, sweetie?” I say, referring to the man you just stared right through. You shake your head, your hair catching the dim lighting of the bar.
“You didn’t let me, Mommy,” you say in a hushed tone smiling at me.
“Do you think I should have?” I ask, already knowing the answer. You look horrified.
“No, Mommy!” You say placing your hand dramatically over your heart as I’ve just broken it. I stand and walk over to your side of the table and wrap an arm around you, instantly feeling you turn into me.
“Just checking baby girl, ready to go home with Mommy?” I ask kissing your neck and enjoying hearing your so
ft moans. You let your hands fall on my lap, and I have to remind myself that we are in public. I’d happily lay you down and take you right here in full view for everyone to see. But then I’d be arrested, and jail isn’t a good look.
I take your hand and lead you out of the bar and can feel the people sad to see you go, making me blissfully happy.
It’s late as we drive home and I let you take your heels off in the car.
“Is that enough of being a big girl for today?” I ask you as I take out your paci from my handbag and pop it in your mouth. You rest your head on the seat while looking at me.
“Yes, Mommy,” you say softly as you bite down on your paci. You reach into your backpack you keep in the backseat of my car and take out bunny.
“I didn’t know you took her today sweetie.” You haven’t taken bunny out for ages, and I’m surprised, but you giggle.
“I thought I might need her today Mommy,” you reply cuddling her and showing her the stars. I reach over and rub my hand under your dress, and you close your eyes until we get home.
“Come on sleepy girl,” I say taking you out of the car holding your hand. I push my tailored suit pant pocket into your hip, waiting you to reach in and take out the keys, which you do and open the door for us.
“Thank you for helping Mommy sweet girl,” I say, putting everything down and taking your dress off. You take off your panties and bra and pass them to me.
“Bath time baby,” I say, and you instinctively head towards the bathroom. I put your clothes in the wash basket and hear that you’ve already turned the water on.
“Careful little one,” I say making sure the water isn’t too hot. I decide to bathe with you tonight, and you go into full organization mode to make sure we have enough bath toys.
“That’s enough,” I say calling it quits on five duckies, your bath crayons, and two water pistols. You pout and put down your bubble, making octopus and climb into the bathtub with Mommy. You love bathing with Mommy and are busy passing me toy after another, but I put them to the side and tickle you under the water.
“Mommy no!” You squeal, and I disappear under the water, laying flat and being impressed with the huge tub I bought. You reach under the water for me, not wanting to get your hair wet and grab onto my breasts and squeeze them, making me come back up for air. I’m wiping the water from my eyes when you squirt me with your water pistol, resulting in me splashing you.
“Hey,” you giggle coping a mouthful of water and choking on it a little bit. I laugh and pull you into my arms.
“Oh did Mommy play too rough baby?” I tease patting your back and taking a cloth to wash you clean. You shake your head no as you splash me but stop when I look down at you in the playful but very serious manner I’ve mastered.
Thankful that we ate while we were out, I take you out of the bath and dry you off. You escape into your nursery as I turn around to pull the bath plug out and I walk in after you.
“This one please Mommy,” you confidently say holding a princess printed diaper up to me.
“Do you feel like Mommy’s little princess baby girl?” I ask, pushing you down on your changing mat and begin to diaper you. You try to help me tonight, and I laugh as I swat your hands away, which makes you giggle.
“This isn’t a game baby,” I say making you stop. I go to your cupboard and take out a pink long sleeve onesie, and you fuss as I try to dress you.
“Baby,” I say warningly and spank your thigh to show I mean business. My silk robe tie is tickling your tummy, and you pull on it opening it up. I sit back and look at you, trying to figure out what is going on with you and where your head is at. You sit up and cuddle me. Playful, I decide and turn you on your tummy and playfully spank you to remind you who’s the boss. You giggle and roll around.
“Someone is very playful tonight. Are you all excited, baby?” I ask, doing up my robe again. You reach for it, but I tilt my head at you, and you know better than to persist.
“I am so happy, Mommy,” you say, reaching up for me again. I pull you into my lap and force you to nurse. I do enjoy it when you are slightly forced to suckle from Mommy, it makes you suck harder, and Mommy loves the feeling of your little mouth pulling on my nipples. You settle down and hold my hand while you nurse, looking up at me lovingly.
“There’s my good girl,” I say as I pat your tummy gently. You have your fill, and I let you play in your nursery while I watch from the rocking chair. You got a race car track for your birthday, and you are busy constructing new paths for your cars to race on for the next hour. I get up to go to the kitchen for a snack, and when I come back, you have moved onto creating what you’ve called a dinosaur jungle museum. You are showing your stuffies through the museum by the time I tell you that it’s bedtime and you look at me like I’ve just said the meanest thing to you.
“Come on, darling, in your cot, which stuffies do you want tonight?” I say as you point to what turns out to be all of them. Your cot looks like a toy store shelf, and I turn off your light and rub your back until you fall asleep.
Friday
You’re fast asleep as the clock alarm goes off. I leave you in bed and get ready. I place my necklace against my skin and feel your hands clasp it in place for me.
“Good morning, Mommy,” you whisper in my ear, kissing my cheek. I take your hand and sit you on my lap.
“I didn’t hear you get up, darling,” I say holding you close.
“I know you’re tired today, baby, but I’m so proud of you for going to work. You are such a good girl and Mommy is so happy to call you my baby,” I say kissing you on the tip of your nose. You make soft happy noises, and I hold you for as long as you need before you get up by yourself and go to get dressed.
“Last day of the week baby,” I say following you into my cupboard as you take out your uniform. I help you with your tie as usual and I you reach up for extra cuddles.
“It won’t be long until you’re back with Mommy and bunny baby,” I say trying to give you all my lovies to get you through the day. You’re such a good girl going to work when you don’t want to, and I’m so impressed with how you can be a big girl when you don’t want to be.
I make you a smoothie and put it in your sippy cup, and you come to the table like a good girl. I put your coloring book in front of you and you color while you have breakfast and I see the little sparkle in your eye returning.
“I don’t wanna go, Mommy,” you say, and I nod my head understandingly.
“I know my baby, but we all must do things we don’t want to, and it’s only for a few hours. I know you can be a big girl for a few hours and then you can come home and stay Mommy’s sweet princess for two whole days. You’re so lucky, baby! I haven’t told you the great things we are doing this weekend, but you’ve got to get through one more work day before you can have them. The fun things start on Saturday, and it is still Friday. So even if you didn’t go to work you still wouldn’t get them yet, so you might as well go baby,” I say hoping to give you something to hold onto today. You nod your little head while you color, understanding what Mommy is saying and I write you a special note and stick it on your sandwich container you’ll take for lunch.
“Will there be stickers involved, Mommy?” You ask. I smile and come around to sit next to you.
“There will be baby. There might also be a new stuffie for you. Does that sound good?” I ask and see you clap your hands excited about the weekend.
“But I have to go to work first, but then it’ll be fun time,” you say nodding your head, and I think you’re talking more to yourself than to me.
“That’s right darling,” I say replying to you anyway. You push your coloring book to the side and sit up with determination.
“Then can we leave now, I’m finished breakfast,” you say making me smile.
You go to brush your teeth and finish getting ready, and I do the same. I’m waiting at the door ready to go as you race around the house packing your toys away. I honestly don’t know
how they can always need packing and rearranging; it’s not as though you have even made a mess of them this morning. I think it’s more like you want to cuddle them all before you go more than actually packing anything away. I tap my heel on the slate floor entrance of our house, impatiently.
“Come on, let’s go,” I say looking at my watch. You race into the living room, grab your backpack, and are at my side in a moment. I take your hand and lead you down the path for the last time this week.
“You won’t have to do this tomorrow little one; you’ll have the whole day with Mommy,” I say to you as you happily skip by my side.
“And stickers!” You exclaim as I buckle you into your seat.
I drive to the station and say goodbye to you, sending you a voice message after you get on the train.
“Good girl for going to work today, sweetheart, Mommy loves you so much, and I’ll see you very soon. We can do all sorts of fun things tonight because you’ve been such a good girl for me today,” I record. I get an emoji reply of unicorns and rainbows and ghosts, and I know you’re going to be ok today.
I send you a message in the afternoon, sending you the times to the cinema and asking if you’d like to go. You reply almost instantly sending me a selfie, of your excited little face all lit up. As I am looking at your cute little face, I see you are calling me. Surprised, I answer the phone. I’m in my office and get up to shut the door; these animals don’t need to hear how lovely I am to my little princess.
“Hi baby, this is a lovely surprise,” I say, sitting down in my office chair and turning around to look out the window.
“Hey Mommy, I hope you don’t mind that I called I know you’re at work, but I just wanted to say that yes I’d love to go to the movies and that I’ll be finished a little later today because someone called in sick.” I’m happy that someone wasn’t you and I smile as I gently swing side to side in my chair. I wish you were here in my arms and I could show you the view from my lap. We decide what to see, and I tell you that I’ll buy our snacks before you get there. Excitedly you hang up the phone, and I stay sitting by the window a little longer. I’m such a great Mommy; I love that I can you what you need and more, I think to myself before turning back around to yell at some interns.
