She had been heading for the slave quarters, not caring that she would be punished for leaving the room without Master John’s permission. If she had stayed in that room for one more second she would have burst out crying in front of everyone, and that would have been her complete undoing, she knew.
But when the slave quarters loomed, she couldn’t face pushing through the doors. She couldn’t bear the idea of anyone seeing her in her misery and her shame, and so she kept running under the cover of darkness, her movements spurred by the flashes of lightning and the cracks of thunder. The rain poured down, the sky crying along with her as she ran.
Alexis found herself heading toward the back of the property, toward the creek where she’d shared so many happy hours with the other trainees and staff slaves. She stopped beside the old barn, breathing hard, a painful stitch in her side. She moved toward the old double doors and pulled at them. They creaked noisily open on rusted hinges. She stepped inside the dark room, relieved to be out of the torrential rain.
She stood still just inside the barn for a while, listening for the scurry of mice or the whirring of bat wings, her heart pounding, but there was only the sound of the rain clattering against the tin roof. She stood for a long while, feeling hollowed out, as if someone had reached in and scooped out her insides, leaving only misery behind.
Her eyes adjusted slowly to the room, and she saw the dim white outline of the cot Sam had mentioned. She made her way toward it and wrapped herself in the blanket that lay atop it. She had stopped sobbing, but hot tears continued to course down her cheeks, and she shivered beneath the thin coverlet. She knew she was just feeling sorry for herself.
She thought of Marta and knew she shouldn’t quit before the miracle, but what if, for her, the miracle never came?
After a while the tears stopped. Her eyes burned and her heart felt like a lump of lead inside her chest. She curled tight against herself, wondering if anyone else had ever quit the program before their training term had ended. She could spend the last week just resting in her apartment, watching old movies and catching up on her email. Or she could rent a cottage by the shore and swim in the ocean. She would put all this behind her. She would forget The Compound and Master John and Paul…
Paul.
That’s what had sent her running from the room. When Rachelle had begun to fly, Alexis had turned her eyes from the scene and toward Paul. He was watching the girl with such a rapt look, leaning forward, his eyes shining as if he were watching the most spectacular sunrise, or seeing the face of his lover…
She felt as if someone had reached inside her and squeezed her heart so hard it had stopped beating. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She just knew she had to get out of there. She had to get away from the sight of the man she loved staring entranced at the scene of a woman who had slipped with such apparent ease and grace into an altered state about which Alexis could only dream.
The man she loved.
Did love at first sight really exist? Was it possible to love someone you barely knew? Until she had seen Paul that very first day swimming in the pool, she would have dismissed such an idea out of hand.
But what did she know? She had never been in love before, in her nearly thirty years of life on the planet, she had never been in love, not like this. She had been attracted to guys, sure. She’d thought she was in love, or at least edging toward it, but it had always, in the end, seemed like too much work. And if you had to work at it, was it really love?
But with Paul it was easy. All she had to do was think about him, and she felt her body soften and open inside, like a flower turning its petals toward a warm, welcoming sun. She could sense when he was near, even before she saw him. It was like a tingle in her spine, as if they were connected somehow by some invisible electric current that moved between them. His eyes were always warm when he smiled at her, and then the current would zing like a violet wand moving over her skin and it would slip inside, lighting and warming her from within.
When she’d seen Paul with his new trainee, just a day after her bungled session, she’d wanted to scream at the injustice of it. After that he’d never had time to work with Master John again. She would never be given the chance to show him she could do better.
She’d continued to do her best with Master John, but if she was honest, her heart wasn’t entirely in her training anymore. She was distracted by Paul, and by the lack of him. It hurt so much to be unable to speak to him, to go to him, to let him know how she felt. Yet she hadn’t dared to do any of those things. She was Master John’s trainee. The rules were clear. She wasn’t to fraternize with the other trainers. This wasn’t, as she had to remind herself over and over, a dating service. It was a training facility and she was here to learn, and nothing more.
Yet it had become too hard. It hurt too much to continue. She knew that with certainty now. She could no longer act as if everything was fine and hope it would somehow become reality.
Alexis had always been a woman of action. She didn’t believe in putting off what needed to be done. It would be best for her to have an honest discussion with Master John, or better yet, with Mistress Miriam. Surely she wasn’t the first trainee to fail. It was best to know when to cut your losses and move on.
If you go, you won’t see him again.
This thought made her begin to cry again, her tears wetting the thin pillow she clutched against her cheek. A peal of thunder made her jump and give a startled cry. She heard the sound of the doors creaking open and she turned on the cot. She would have to get up and close the doors so the rain wouldn’t come blowing in. Yet as she peered in the darkness, she saw the shape of a man standing in the doorway. Had Master John come in search of her? Would he punish her on the spot for running away?
Another flash of lightning lit the room and she saw it was Paul.
“Paul?” she said in a tremulous voice, forgetting to precede his name with Master, for a second wondering if she’d conjured his image in her longing for him.
“Alexis! There you are. Thank god I found you.” Paul came striding into the room on those long, sexy legs of his. His long hair was wet and dripping, his shirt soaked against his skin. “You must be freezing,” he said, moving closer. “There are some candles somewhere, I’m pretty sure. Let me get some light in here.”
Alexis sat up, clutching the thin blanket around her as she watched in stunned silence. Paul moved toward an old chest of drawers she hadn’t noticed before and pulled open the drawers, rummaging in them.
“Here we go,” he said finally, striking a match with a hiss against a matchbook. He held the small flame to a candle until the wick lit. He produced three more candles, each set in a brass candle stick, and lit those as well. The space glowed with a soft, wavering light that lent a dreamlike quality to the already surreal circumstance.
He pulled something from his pocket and Alexis realized it was his cell phone. He pressed the screen rapidly with his thumbs and then slid the phone back into his pocket. Then he turned toward her, clutching an armful of blankets.
She let him take the thin, damp coverlet from her. He sat beside her on the small cot and wrapped one of the soft, thick blankets around her still shivering body. Then, to her stunned surprise, he pulled off his boots and stripped out of his wet clothing, dropping them to the ground before slipping beneath the blanket beside her.
He wrapped his arms around her, whispering against her hair, “Alexis. Alexis,” making her name sound like a caress, like the softest, sweetest kiss. She could feel the length of his hard, lean body against hers, and the unmistakable rise of his cock against her thigh. He smelled so good and felt so good with his body wrapped around hers.
Tentatively she dared to put her arms around him in return, as she nestled her head between his neck and shoulder. Was this really happening? Or was this one of those lucid dreams she’d read about. If it was a dream, it was a good dream. A very good dream.
His lips found hers and they kissed, tongues e
xploring each other’s mouths. Alexis’s heart was pounding against his strong, smooth chest as he kissed her mouth. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you,” he breathed into her ear between kisses. “I have to have you. Tell me it’s okay. Tell me you want me too.”
“Oh, Paul. Yes. Yes. Please.” She knew now it was no dream, but a reality she had longed for a hundred times over the week since he’d taken her face in his hands and peered into her eyes with such loving concern.
The rain pelted on the tin roof overhead and the candles illuminated the room in a soft, flickering light. Paul rolled Alexis to her back and lifted himself over her beneath the blanket. She felt the nudge of his hard cock between her legs and she arched up, wanting him like she’d never wanted anyone before.
He held himself like that for several long beats, until Alexis thought she would die with longing. Before she realized she was speaking, the words burst from her lips. “Paul, oh god, I want you. Please, please, I want you so bad,” she begged.
When he entered her, she exploded in a sudden, fierce climax, shuddering against him, stunned at the violence of her body’s reaction. He pulled her close, holding her as her body spasmed in his arms, and then he began to move, his hard, perfect cock easing deep inside her wetness and then pulling back, the pleasure almost unbearable.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” she heard herself chant in a gasping voice. He took her harder, thrusting deep inside her. The movement was perfect, his pubic bone rubbing her throbbing clit as he moved, and she began to shudder again, her cunt contracting in another series of intense climaxes. He came at the same time, his body going rigid for a moment and then jerking as he thrust inside her in hot, perfect spurts.
He collapsed against her and she could feel his heart hammering against hers. His cock still buried inside her, Paul lay still for so long she thought maybe he’d fallen asleep. She didn’t mind. She loved the heavy masculine weight of him on top of her and she closed her eyes, drifting in a cloud of quiet, easy joy.
“Alexis?”
Alexis opened her eyes, for a second confused as to where she was. The old barn was still lit by candles, the smell of melted wax filling the room. The rain was falling more lightly now, just a patter against the old tin roof. Paul was lying beside her on the narrow cot, their bodies slotted together as if made for one another.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry,” he said into her hair. His arms were warm and strong around her. “It’s a breach of every protocol but I just had to have you. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” Alexis laughed in spite of herself. She twisted back in his arms to face him. “Forgive you for making the most incredible love to me? Forgive you for making my dreams come true? Are you kidding?”
He looked startled for a second and then he started to laugh, and she laughed too. All the angst and misery she’d wrapped around herself like a shroud over the past week fell away in the face of their happy, giddy laughter. Paul began to kiss her again, and she kissed him back, the laughter dying, replaced by them murmuring each other’s name again and again as their bodies connected for a second time.
This time they moved slowly, the initial flare of passion now a smoldering heat that left them both sweat-soaked and exhausted by the time they were done. Again Alexis drifted in an endorphin-soaked doze.
When she opened her eyes again Paul was lifted on his elbow, smiling down at her. Reality suddenly kicked in and she struggled to sit up, a tendril of anxiety curling its way through her gut. “I better get back. Master John is probably worried. I guess I’m in a ton of trouble for running from the presentation.”
Paul shook his head. “I texted him when I found you. I told him I’d take care of you. You aren’t in trouble, Alexis. You’re with me now. You’re mine.”
“Oh,” she said softly, not wanting to ruin the moment by asking just what he meant by those sweeping, romantic words. The rain had stopped altogether and Alexis pushed back the covers, hot beneath them in the closeness of the barn.
“Stand up,” Paul said suddenly, rolling from the cot. “Position one, hands behind your head.”
Without thinking, Alexis immediately rose and assumed the position. She stood silently as Paul went to the chest of drawers, this time removing a flogger with a long, braided handle. He returned to her, leaning down to kiss her lips.
He moved behind her and began to stroke her back and ass, warming her skin with the flogger’s tresses. Her nipples hardened, her cunt moistening as he brushed her skin with the sweet heat of soft leather.
He began to strike her harder, the intensity building like banked embers that burst into flame as the leather pelted her skin. The flogger thudded against her flesh from shoulder to thigh and then back again. The leather slapped against her body, the force of the blows nearly pushing her off her feet. But she stood erect and strong against the onslaught, savoring the erotic pain and letting it lift her with each fiery stroke.
She began to breathe hard, panting to get herself through the pain, which was edging from erotic pleasure into something harder to take. She felt herself sliding toward that panicked, ungraceful place and she began to dance on her toes, wondering how long she could endure this.
“Breathe,” she heard Paul say behind her. “Work through it. Flow with it. Let go. Do it for me, Alexis. For us.”
And then it happened.
He continued to hit her as hard as before, maybe harder, but the panic that had threatened to spill over her ebbed away. She felt strong, as if she could endure anything, handle anything Paul gave her.
Do it for me, Alexis. For us.
“Oh,” she said softly, filled with wonder. The leather continued to snap against her skin but the pain was transmuting into something different. Not pleasure precisely, but a kind of interweaving between pleasure and pain that was more powerful than either experience on its own.
A curious kind of light seemed to fill her, and Alexis thought she might actually rise from the ground and float away. The only thing that kept her tethered to the earth was the steady, thudding beat of the flogger against her skin.
Her head felt heavy and suddenly she could no longer hold it up. She felt it fall back and her mouth gaped open. Her heart slowed its pounding tempo and her breathing eased into a deep, steady cadence—in…and out, in…and out—like the peaceful lull of an ocean’s waves.
“Yes,” she heard Paul say from a distance, as if he were far away instead of just behind her. “Yes, that’s it, baby. You got it. Yes.”
She drifted, vaguely aware of the steady whoosh and stroke of the leather as she skimmed the top of the calm, shining water beneath her. The sky was a brilliant blue, tiny puffs of clouds in the distance. She was filled with a peace she’d never experienced before, as every care dropped away and only joy remained.
When she came to herself again, she was once more in Paul’s arms. They lay together on top of the blankets on the narrow cot. She opened her eyes to see Paul’s face close to hers. He was smiling, his golden-brown eyes filled with a curious light.
“Hi,” he said softly. “Welcome back.”
She grinned weakly. “Where did I go?” But she knew. She had flown. It had finally happened for her. The elusive experience she’d thought she would never attain had finally come to her in a barn, at the hands of the man she loved.
~*~
Paul lay awake for a long time, listening to the steady tapping of rain on the tin roof. Alexis slept peacefully against him, her lips lifted at the corners in a small, secret smile that made him wonder what she was dreaming. He felt as if he could just lie there with her forever, suspended in the perfect afterglow of their lovemaking.
Yet he must have eventually drifted into sleep, because when he next opened his eyes it was morning. Paul stared down at the lovely woman beside him, her face softly lit by the early morning sun streaming in through the dusty barn windows. She was still asleep, curled sweetly into his arms, her soft cheek pressed against his bare chest
.
Carefully he extracted himself from her embrace and eased himself quietly out of the cot. Retrieving his jeans, he pulled out his cell phone and again texted John.
“Oh my god!” Alexis shot bolt upright in the cot, her hands flying to her mouth. “I’m in trouble. What time is it? I’m going to be late for morning inspection. Master John will be waiting!”
Paul slipped the phone back into his pants pocket and returned to the cot. Sitting beside Alexis, he took her into his arms and nuzzled his face against her tousled hair. “Relax. He knows you’re with me. He’s not expecting you this morning.”
“Oh,” she said softly, and then, “and Trisha? Your trainee? Don’t you need to go to her?”
He shook his head. “John’s got that covered. We have the whole morning to ourselves. We need to figure stuff out, right? You and me, and where we go from here.”
“Yes,” she agreed.
Then she lifted her face toward his, her eyes closing and her lips parting in a clear invitation for a kiss, and Paul forgot the words he was going to say. His passion ignited with the touch of her lips against his, and he had to have her again, and then again. He had finally found what he hadn't even known he’d been searching for. And she was lying there in his arms.
Chapter 15
Miriam was already waiting for him in the small den on the first floor that she liked to use for informal meetings. A coffee carafe and three cups stood on a tray, along with a plate of blueberry scones. “Come in, Paul. John will join us in a moment. As if on cue, John appeared in the doorway.
The two men settled on chairs near the sofa where Miriam sat. She lifted the carafe in their direction. “Coffee?” John held out his cup. Paul shook his head. He felt jittery enough without the addition of caffeine. John helped himself to a scone but Paul found he had no appetite.
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