by Ella Jade
“Mom...” she mumbled in her sleep.
That was the third time she’d called for her mother. I wondered what that was about.
“Please don’t leave me.”
When she kicked the covers off and thrashed around the bed, I went to her. It was instinctual. I sat next to her, quietly calling her name, trying to wake her from whatever she was experiencing. Her face was tormented.
“No!” she screamed as she sat up and threw her arms around my neck, holding on as tight as she could. “She’s going to leave,” she whispered. “I’m not ready.”
“Your mom?” I rubbed her back as she trembled in my arms. “It was a dream.”
“What?” She let go of me and looked around. “Where? How?”
“You fell asleep downstairs,” I told her. “I thought you’d be more comfortable up here.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?” She pushed her wild hair from her face. “What time is it?”
“I tried to but you were out.” I glanced at my watch. “It’s a little after midnight.”
“I have to go. I shouldn’t have stayed this long.”
She hopped out of my bed but I wasn’t ready to let her go. Maybe I imagined her staying the evening, waking up in my arms, having breakfast with me. What the hell is wrong with me? I set this up as a callous sexual arrangement. I never intended to fall for her. How could I ever expect her to do normal with me?
“I’m sorry I fell asleep,” she said.
“Wait.” I cut her off at the door. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?”
“The dream.” I didn’t want her to leave. “It seemed pretty intense.”
“No.” She shook her head. “It was nothing. I really have to go.”
“I’ll take you home.”
“You don’t have to,” she insisted. “I can take a cab.”
“I told Kirsten I would get you home.” Why couldn’t I just ask her to stay the night with me?
“She won’t hold you to it.”
“Maybe I want to take you home.” I held her hand. “It’s late.”
“I’ll be fine.” She gazed down at our joined hands. “Tonight has been... confusing.”
“That’s my fault.” I backed her against the wall, my hand still in hers. “I shouldn’t have asked you here tonight.”
“Why did you?”
“I’m a selfish bastard.” I chose now to be honest?
“So it was all part of the arrangement?”
Didn’t I make that clear before we left the bar? “Look, CC, it’s –”
“I like it better when you call me Cecilia.” She let go of my hand. “It’s not as intimate that way.”
Fuck! She was giving me some much deserved shit.
“I have to go.” She headed down the hall. “I’ll use the service elevator.”
Going after her was not an option. Not tonight. I needed to get myself together. She had something going on in her life, and I had a strong feeling she didn’t need me as another problem. I’d be doing her a favor if I cut her loose.
Chapter Five
Cecilia
Closing up the cafe after a long Saturday shift, I couldn’t stop thinking about a hot bath. I’d let the owners know this would be my last weekend for a while. I had to be home these next few weeks. They were gracious and offered anything I needed, promising me my job would be waiting for me when I wanted to come back.
A tap on the glass doors startled me. When I looked over, I found Jameson standing there smiling at me. I hadn’t seen or heard from him in a few days. Not since that night I left his penthouse. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to see him again.
“Can I come in?” he asked through the glass.
I hesitated, wondering what he wanted. I knew what he wanted but did I want it? I guess I could hear him out. Maybe he would surprise me. I unlocked the door and let him in. “We’re closed.”
“I figured.” He turned the key in the door, locking it. “You’re alone?”
“Sal and Lisa, the owners, had a party to attend so I told them I’d finish up. I’m almost done.” I went back to wiping down the tables. “What brings you here?”
“You.”
“I don’t know what that means.” I wasn’t in the mood for any more games or confusion.
“Look, I know the other night was different.” He moved to stand across from me, a table in between us. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me.” Does he know I’m lying? “You made the terms extremely clear.” I wasn’t being fair by expecting him to all of a sudden change the deal.
“I did.” He nodded, his chiseled jaw tensed. “But sometimes terms are renegotiated.”
“You want to renegotiate our terms?” If he had come to me on any other day maybe I would have been more receptive. But not today. So much had changed since that day he propositioned me.
“I’m not really sure what I want. That’s the problem.” He gripped the back of the chair. “I was sure when I first saw you. I asked you to come outside with me that day because I wanted you. I always know what I want when you show up at my house. I keep things simple.”
“Sometimes things aren’t so simple.” I wished it could have been simple between us but how could I expect that with such a complicated man? Even knowing nothing about him, I figured out fast that he wasn’t the type of guy who did traditional.
He moved around the table, standing inches from me. I needed him to hold me like he had when I woke up from that nightmare at his house the other night. I ached for him to be the one I could lean on. I was a fool if I thought that could ever happen. Guys like him didn’t do support roles. No matter how bad I wanted him to be there. He wasn’t Mr. Right.
He reached for my arm, pulling me to him. “You’re correct,” he said. “I never make anything easy or simple.”
I stepped closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. I desperately tried to block out the words hospice and just a few more weeks. When he wrapped his arms around me, a tear slid down my cheek. Maybe I should tell him my situation. Let him know I needed someone strong to get me through what I was facing.
“You don’t need my chaos.” He kissed the top of my head. “I came here to tell you I can’t offer more than what we have.”
Okay, so he wouldn’t be the one I could count on.
“What?” I wiggled out of his hold mad that I let my guard down for a few seconds. “You just said terms could be renegotiated.”
“I have an envelope in my pocket.” He touched the breast of his suit jacket. “That’s what I came here for. That’s who I am.”
“You came here for sex?” Why was I so shocked?
“When I want it and where I want it,” he reminded me. “It’s best if we keep it that way.”
“No.” I stared into his eyes, challenging him. “Not tonight.”
“You’re sure.”
“I’ve never been more sure.”
“That’s your choice.”
“I broke your terms. I said no.”
“I heard you.” He reached into his pocket and tossed the envelope on the table. “Loud and clear.”
“I don’t want that.” I don’t need it anymore.
“It’s yours, Cecilia.” He took my face between his hands, dropping his gaze to my mouth. “You need to forget about me.” He ran his thumb along my bottom lip. “Do you understand?” Lingering for a moment, he continued to caress my lip before stepping away. “I’m not that man.”
When he turned to leave the cafe, I called to him, “Jameson.”
He glanced over his shoulder.
“I heard you loud and clear.”
He nodded before unlocking the door and walking out into the hot summer evening. And he was gone. I looked down at the money he had left. Wasn’t that the summary of our time together? Sex for hire?
Jameson
As Miles sat in my office and told me all the reasons why he thought I should take on Conrad as a
client, I managed to drown him out. It had been two weeks since I’d seen her. Touched her. Smelled her. Fucked her. Withdrawal was a bitch. I should know better than anyone.
Walking out of the cafe that night was hard. Staying would have been harder. Once Meg gave me the report on CC, there was no way I could continue on with our screwed up arrangement. Her father had died years ago in a car accident and now her mother was dying. Knowing what she needed that money for and how she had to get it made me sick, but not because I was disgusted with her. She did what she had to do. I was furious with myself. I put her in that position. I made her sell herself to save her mother. I brought her into my messed up world and now I had to let her go. Her developing feelings for me were evident and I hoped if I went to her that last night and acted as if it was business as usual she’d shoot me down. That was exactly what she had done. Good for her. I just hadn’t expected it to burn me as bad as it did.
“Jay,” Miles called to me. “Are you listening?”
“Hmm...” I looked down at the file in front of me. “Yeah, of course.”
“You haven’t been yourself in weeks.”
“I’ve been busy. November is right around the corner and some clients are getting pushy.”
“Are you using again?”
“What? Hell, no.” I wasn’t offended by the question. My family had been concerned since I’d left rehab two years ago, but they seemed to be leaving me alone with all the hovering lately. I thought they realized I wasn’t going back to my old ways. “Why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know, man, you’re all over the place.”
“Nothing is suffering here,” I reminded him. “I’m not hooked on anything. I’m not using.”
“Sorry I asked.” He shrugged.
“I’m not.” I sat back in my chair. “I appreciate you looking out for me but I’m cool.” Alcohol and drugs would be a much easier habit to kick. CC was another story.
“Well, if you want to talk about it.”
“There’s really nothing to talk about. I screwed up with someone and now I’m trying to fix it.”
“A woman?” He grinned. “Do I know her?”
“No.”
“Is it serious?”
“It isn’t anything and she’s better off that way.” She had enough going on in her life. “Call Conrad and tell him I’ll meet with him.”
“Maybe you need a woman in your life.”
“We’ve changed the subject in case you can’t keep up.” I pointed at the file. “You did good work here. I’ll meet with him and see how ambitious he is.”
“Did you just compliment me?”
“Cherish it.” When my phone vibrated, I glanced down at the screen. “It won’t happen often.”
Miles grabbed his tablet from my desk. “Let’s get dinner tonight.”
“Okay.” I picked up my phone. “Five-thirty.”
My brother shut the door behind him as I answered my cell.
“Meg, what do you have for me?”
“I stayed on Cecilia for you,” she said. “She just left O'Brien Funeral Home. She went in about an hour ago.”
“Was she alone?”
“Yes.”
Damn it! My stomach churned when I thought of her doing this on her own. Meg couldn’t find any immediate family in her search.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
“Do you want me to continue to watch her?” Meg asked.
“No, I’m done.” I couldn’t continue to keep tabs on her. It wasn’t fair. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Anything you need,” she said. “I’m available.”
“Thanks.” I ended the call and quickly dialed my attorney.
“Jameson,” Drew Murphy answered. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “I know we’re meeting in a few days but I need you to handle something for me. It’s time sensitive.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“I need you to contact the funeral director at O’Brien Funeral Home. Do you know it?”
“It’s in the D.C. area. Is everything okay with your family?”
“Yes, we’re all good, but a young woman I know just lost her mother. I want to remove the financial burden from her.”
“That’s very generous of you.”
I’m not generous. I’m a jerk. “I need this to be discreet. I don’t want to be named as the benefactor. I just want it taken care of. I don’t care how you go about it.”
“I understand.”
“The woman’s name is Cecilia Keller. Her mother’s name was Isabella. Whatever the cost of the funeral is double it. Tell the director anything left over is to go back to Ms. Keller for her to do what she wishes with it.”
“I’ll contact them after I hang up with you and let you know when it’s done.”
“Thank you.”
After disconnecting the call, I gazed out of my office window. Closing my eyes, I imagined her face, her flawless skin and her subtle smile. She hadn’t smiled for me often but I’d cherish the times she had. Someday she’d be happy. It just wouldn’t be with me.
Chapter Six
Cecilia
One year later...
I stood in the restroom of the posh D.C. hotel staring into the mirror. I’d hardly recognized myself in the designer dress Kirsten had lent me. Carla’s niece, a professional stylist, had meticulously piled my hair into curls and gathered them in a loose bun. She was also responsible for my smokey eyes and full red lips. And then there was my date.
He was running for a seat in the senate and needed an appropriate companion for tonight’s benefit. I had been reluctant to escort him, but Carla and Kirsten had convinced me that I needed a night out. I was lucky to have such fantastic women in my life. Without them, this past year would have been more difficult than it was.
Back to my date. I’d met him at a political function I’d attended for work a few weeks ago. He seemed nice enough but there was no real spark between us. We exchanged numbers and I didn’t hear from him until the other day when he called and asked me if I’d attend this benefit with him. My initial thought was to say no. Carla and Kirsten persuaded me to say yes, borrow the dress, and get my hair and make-up done. Now that I was staring in the mirror, I was glad I’d taken their advice. Too bad I still had no chemistry with the guy I came with. I knew what the problem was but I refused to go there. In the last twelve months no one had measured up to the one man I had sworn off that night in the cafe. No one appealed to me the way Jameson had. What did that say about me?
As I headed back to the ballroom, I heard a voice call after me. “There you are.”
Conrad Hayes, my date, and possible senator of Massachusetts waited by the bar for me.
“You were busy so I slipped away for a few minutes.” I joined him. “You’re popular tonight.”
“That was the idea.” He leaned against the bar. “My political consultant, the best in D.C., suggested I be here this evening and I bring a suitable date.” He winked at me. “I need to win the primary so I can take this all the way next November.”
“I’m sure you will.” I gazed around the room, taking in all the anybody-who-was-somebody-in-this-town people. “I analyzed your platform. You’re proposing some great changes in your area.”
“Beauty and brains.” He trailed his finger down my arm, but it didn’t make me shiver. My skin didn’t heat the way it had for... “That’s a rare combination these days.”
“Isn’t that why you asked me to accompany you tonight?”
“Among other reasons.” He smirked. “Oh, look, there’s Senator Thomas.” He pointed across the bar. “I need to speak with him. Order a drink and I’ll be back to join you.”
“Okay.” I didn’t mind that he had been so busy all evening. I still got to get dressed up, eat a great dinner and chit chat with some interesting people. “I’ll wait here.”
“Perfect.” He kissed my cheek. “Don’t talk to strangers.”
The more I g
ot to know him the less I wanted to know. He was a good looking guy but we weren’t compatible in the least. Taking a seat at the bar, I wondered how much longer I’d have to stay. My feet were rejecting the new shoes I’d bought for tonight. I knew they would hurt but they were awesome.
“Hello, gorgeous,” a deep, familiar voice said from behind me. The shiver that I’d been searching for a few moments ago made an appearance and my flesh prickled with anticipation. There was only one man who could elicit that reaction from me. The one man who had starred in my dreams more times than I could count.
“Jameson.” I wanted to turn around, but I’d imagined this moment so many times. I wasn’t sure how I should react. Play it cool, play it cool.
“It’s been a while.” He moved closer to me, resting against the bar.
Turning my head, I took in his impeccable appearance. He was just as hot as I’d remembered him. Maybe even hotter. I’d never seen him in a tux before. Those guys in GQ had nothing on him. I quickly closed my mouth when I realized I was gawking. So much for playing it cool.
“How are you, Cecilia?”
“I’m well.” That was true enough.
“You look amazing.” His gaze traveled along my body but not in an offensive way. I thought he might have been taken by me. “Absolutely stunning.”
“Thank you.” I ran my fingers along the cool, granite bar. “I’m in a much better frame of mind since the last time we saw one another.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He motioned toward Conrad and the Senator. “I didn’t realize you knew Conrad.”
“I don’t really know him that well. We met at a fundraiser and exchanged numbers.” Why was I explaining this to him? “He asked me to escort him tonight. We’re just friends.” God, can you shut up? A little intrigue never hurt anyone.
“I’m glad he took my advice.”
“Your advice?”
“I told him he needed to take someone with him that people would never forget.” He glanced around the room. “Judging from the way everyone in this room is buzzing about you, I’d say he took my task at hand.”
