by Jodie Larson
“That’s starting to sound like feelings.”
I nod, careful to keep the truck on the road. “Is that a problem?”
A tender kiss lands on my ear as her lips trail down the slope of my cheek before landing at the corner of my mouth. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel while desperately ignoring the stirring in my pants.
“I’ve decided to throw out the rules. We’re beyond feelings at this point.” She presses another kiss at the corner of my mouth. “It was silly to think we could keep this going without emotions ruling our heads. Because you’re worth it, too. We’re worth a chance.”
Finding a darkened parking lot, I pull over and turn to face her. “Lizzie, I’m only going to ask you this once, so I need your honest answer.” She blinks once and nods. “And it has to be verbal.” I work up the courage to finally ask her the thing that’s been plaguing me for weeks. “Do you want a relationship or a fling?”
Her answer will determine the course we take after this moment. If she says fling, I’ll need to bow out and leave her alone. I’m too deep to keep pretending we’re less than what we are.
I stare into her green eyes, searching for the answer before she speaks. They hold me hostage, keeping me rooted to the spot as the seconds tick by. Unease settles in. If it’s taking this long to respond, then it won’t be the outcome I’m hoping for.
Looking away, I let the disappointment fill my chest. Until she smiles and turns my face back to hers.
“Why must you insist on silly questions?” Her amused voice echoes through my ears.
“Why must you answer a question with another question?” I mock her response as a smile tugs at my lips. I keep it at bay because there’s only one response I’m looking for. A confirmation to know she’s all-in and feels the same way I do.
I take a chance and rest a hand on her hip before slowly moving it north. It’s a dirty move, almost unfair, but I’m done being the good guy. I want Lizzie and I’m not about to take no for an answer.
She swings a leg over my lap and straddles me, cupping my face while pressing her chest against mine.
“It’s fair to assume we’re already in a relationship, even if I don’t say it aloud. You’re the first person I think of when I wake and the last before falling asleep. I’m not exactly well versed in the love department, but I’m pretty sure we’re past friendship and benefits.”
“Love department?” I brush back a chunk of hair from her face, anxious to see what I find. And what I find takes my breath away.
Lizzie traces a line around my jaw with her fingertip. “I’m not saying I’m in love, but I can say I’m almost there.”
She’s holding back, but she’s also saying there’s the possibility for more. No more shutting down the idea of an “us.” It’s a tangible thing, one she’s finally accepted.
Wasting no time, I close the distance between us and sear her with a kiss, branding her as mine. Officially. Her soft mewls almost send me over the edge. But we don’t need a repeat of the parking garage incident, especially since the actual police won’t find it quite as funny as the rent-a-cops at the hospital.
“Let’s move this celebration home,” I say against her lips.
With a final peck, she moves off my lap and buckles in next to my side. Thank fuck for bench seats.
Before pulling out of the lot, I hand Lizzie my phone. “Play some music.”
She looks at the phone and tilts her head. “What’s the passcode?”
“0515,” I say, looking out of the corner of my eye.
“My birthday,” she says softly.
I place a hand on her knee. “The most important day I could think of.”
The screen flashes to life as she scrolls through my music collection. I’m almost ready to tell her to pick anything when she places the phone down on the dashboard and curls into my side.
“I Need You” by Saving Abel. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
After a few more songs, I pull into our neighborhood but slow down to almost a crawl.
“I don’t want to leave you tonight,” I say. “Come home with me?”
She nods against my shoulder. “Yes.”
Pax is in his usual seat in the living room when we walk in through the door. “Hey, bring anything home for me?”
Tossing my keys on the counter, I hand him the only box we managed to grab from the table. “Just for you.”
Lizzie takes the seat next to me on the couch and leans her head against my shoulder. Pax looks up from the box and stares at us.
“What?”
“Are you two done being stupid?”
I laugh and wrap an arm around her shoulder. “If by stupid you mean saying we don’t have feelings for each other, then yeah. We’re done with that.”
Pax relaxes and bites into a potato skin. “Good. So I can stop feeling like a jackass around Myles.”
“Well,” Lizzie starts. “Not quite yet.”
He drops the food back into the box and pins her with a glare. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
She holds her hands up in defense. “Look, we only decided this on the drive home. He doesn’t know yet and I want to be the one to tell him. It’ll be easier coming from me.”
With a loud, pained groan, Pax flips on the TV and starts scrolling through the shows on Hulu. “You’re killing me.”
“I know, but please, give me time. Not much. I’ll let you know when he knows. Until then, don’t bring it up.”
The whole situation sits like a lump of lead in my stomach. Nothing’s changed. We’re still keeping a secret.
I kiss her temple. “Okay, but there’s going to be a time limit on this. You’ve got two weeks to figure this out, otherwise we’re telling him.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything else.
Finally finding a show, the three of us laugh away our unease as we start season one of South Park. It doesn’t take long before Lizzie is yawning away and nodding her head, trying to stay awake.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” I scoop her up and cradle her to my chest as she tosses her arms around my neck. I walk the short distance to my bedroom and set her down. She wobbles in place, so I help pull off her shirt and slide one of my clean ones on in its place. Her jeans and socks follow with little resistance. Somehow, she’s conscious enough to slide under the covers, tucking them firmly under her chin.
I laugh and strip down to my boxer briefs. In bed, I pull her into my chest and link our hands together.
“You’ll tell him?” I ask. The whole thing still makes me uneasy.
Lizzie nods, her hair tickling my nose. “Tell him,” she mutters before drifting off to sleep.
I’m not convinced anything has changed. At least she’s accepted the fact that there’s something between us. It’s a step in the right direction. And for now, that’s good enough.
Then why do I feel like my whole world hinges on this one little thing?
I haven’t been home in a week. Ever since I declared my feelings for Brecken, I refuse to be anywhere else but by his side. And his place is more of a home than mine. There’s always laughter and excitement rather than silence and solitude.
Even though I’ve been avoiding the subject, we never talk about Myles and the thing I’m supposed to be talking to him about.
“We should do something fun tonight,” I say, tossing the pasta in the strainer to get all the water out. It’s my turn to make dinner, so I grabbed one of Kade’s mom’s old recipe books and found a nice chicken pesto that seemed simple enough to do. And I only made Breck run to the store twice since I forgot a few things the first time.
His scent wraps around me before his arms do, cocooning me in everything that is Brecken. “It’d be the best night since we’re almost free from the chains of the studio.”
Pax sits at the table as I set the plates down in front of us. “Do we need supplies? Better yet, what exactly did you have in mind?”
I twirl some pasta around my fork and
slurp up a noodle. “How about some Cards Against Humanity?”
The guys look at each other and nod. “Good idea. We’ll make a few calls and have everyone meet here around ten?”
“Sure. That’ll give us time to go to the liquor store and set things up,” Breck says.
With our night planned out, we finish our dinner while I listen to the two of them talk about what they need to do back in L.A. Not going to lie, a little piece of my heart hurts thinking of how this whole thing is going to work out. We’ve only begun talking about pursuing a future together. But I’m the master of avoidance and change the subject every time he brings up California.
Once all the dishes are clean, Pax heads out to the store while Breck and I clean the house and make the phone calls.
“Hey, girlie. Long time no talk.” Quinn laughs at her joke.
“Yeah, super funny. That never gets old.” I straighten some magazines on the coffee table and sit on the couch. “What are you and Gabe up to tonight?”
“Well, now that he has nights off, I was planning on getting him naked while riding his face and—”
“Okay,” I say, cutting her off. “Don’t need the details. I have something better in mind.”
Quinn scoffs. “Better than multiple orgasms? Highly doubt it.”
“Way better. How about some Cards Against Humanity and booze?”
She squeals loudly, forcing me to hold the phone away from my ear before she blows out my ear drum. “Damn, that’s way better. Count us in.”
“Awesome. How about you call Adrienne and see if they can find a sitter for the night. She needs some fun, too.”
“Agreed. I don’t think she’s left the house since Lyric was born,” Quinn says. “My parents have been bugging her for some grandparent time. Now would be the perfect opportunity.”
“It really would.” I cross my fingers and send a silent prayer that she can convince her to come.
“I’m on it. What time?”
“Ten.”
Quinn yells to Gabe about the plans, causing me to hold the phone out again. “Okay, it’s a date. See you in a bit.”
“Bye.” We hang up and I mentally check off two names from the list.
My call to Tatum wasn’t nearly as complicated. All I had to do was say Cards and she was instantly screaming into the phone. Between her and Quinn, I’ll be surprised if I’m ever able to hear again.
With everyone confirmed, I pull Brecken aside and throw my arms around his neck. “Dance with me?”
He smiles into my neck before peppering my skin with feather-light kisses. “Anything you wish.” Grabbing his phone from the table, he scrolls to a playlist and taps a song. “I Feel It Coming” by The Weeknd is one of my favorite songs and also an interesting choice for him. It’s not in his genre of songs, so I’m surprised he picked it.
That is, until I really listen to the words. Brecken is a music man, so of course he likes to speak through songs. Now I feel like a total heel for dragging my feet and not telling Myles about us. I knew Brecken cared for me, but I didn’t realize the extent. And as we sway in his living room, it’s becoming clearer that I’m past falling for him.
“I love holding you in my arms like this,” he says against my hair. I melt into his body, conforming until we’re essentially one person.
A sick feeling washes over me, giving me pause and pulling back to look into his eyes. “Tell me things will be okay, that we’ll make it.”
He stops but doesn’t remove his arms from around me. “Of course. What’s wrong?”
Shaking my head, I lean my cheek against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. “Nothing. Just a feeling. It’ll pass.”
The song switches and another interesting track loads. I never would have pegged him for a country man.
“What song is this?” I ask.
Brecken smirks and twirls me in a circle before pulling me close. “Thomas Rhett’s ‘Die a Happy Man.’ It came up as a suggestion when I created this playlist and I added it after listening to the lyrics.”
I follow his lead and really pay attention to the words. They’re sweet and romantic, so like the man holding me in his arms. We sway for a minute longer before he’s pulling me to his room, dirty intentions clouding his eyes.
“We only have a few minutes before Pax comes home, but I need you. Right.” He places a kiss on my collarbone, pulling my shirt down to expose more skin. “Now.”
If we only have minutes, there’s no time to waste. Foreplay isn’t really needed because those romantic songs—coupled with Quinn’s dirty suggestion earlier—have me chomping at the bit to have him inside me.
Turning him around, I shove him onto the bed and make quick work of his jeans, tugging them until they’re around his ankles. Knowing how much he loves it when I take charge, I free his cock from his boxers and kneel at the edge of the bed, leaning forward to lick him from base to tip.
A strangled groan emanates from his mouth when I repeat the motion, pulling down my jeans with my free hand.
“Lizzie.” His husky voice has me pressing my thighs together, but not enough of a deterrent to stop my tongue from twirling around his crown, making sure to hit every crease and vein along the way.
Pulling me up, he tugs my panties aside and plunges me down on him, filling me to the core.
“We don’t have time,” he hisses in my ear, “to not have me fully inside you.” On his urging, I move, slowly circling my hips. “Take what you want.”
I press my palms against his chest, using it for leverage as I rock back and forth, finding that sweet spot that only Brecken has ever reached. He counters my moves like a perfect dance.
“Too good,” I pant out, clawing at his chest.
Brecken reaches between us to rub my clit, speeding up the process.
“Hurry,” he says.
Only a few more flicks and a pinch of my nipple has me screaming his name, my motions becoming jerky, less controlled. Brecken picks up where I leave off and slams into me, prolonging my orgasm as I crumble like ash in his hands. Within seconds, he follows me, grunting and groaning while filling me to the brim.
It was so much more than a quickie. Never once did we close our eyes and need to use our imaginations to help us get off. We kept each other’s stare in silent communication, giving each other exactly what we needed.
And yet, more than we ever bargained for.
In this moment, wrapped in his arms while feeling his heart beat regulate back to normal, I’ve accepted the fact that Brecken Lavery is the only man for me. Even if we have thousands of miles separating us, it won’t matter. My heart belongs to him.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I say.
Brecken sits up, taking me with him. “So are you.”
Now’s my chance.
“Breck, there’s something I want to tell you.” He waits and brushes the hair from my face. “I-”
“Booze is here,” Pax yells from the other room.
“Shit,” I say, scrambling off his lap while pulling my clothes back in their correct places.
Fucking Paxton and his lousy timing.
Another couple voices join in as we pull up our jeans and try to look like we didn’t just fuck each other.
“Quit fussing. You’re beautiful.” Brecken kisses my nose and straightens my shirt.
“That’s only because you make me feel beautiful.” Cheesy, I know, but I’m trying really hard not to say the three little words that are dangling from my tongue.
Tonight. After everyone leaves, I’ll let him know.
“You go out first, so we don’t draw suspicion,” Breck says, pushing me to the door.
With a quick kiss, I walk into the living room, finding my brother and Tatum huddled around the kitchen table while Pax fills the fridge with the newly purchased bottles of beer.
“Where’ve you been?” Myles asks, eyeing me suspiciously.
I cough and look to Tatum for help. She only shakes her head. Looks like I
’m on my own.
“I, uh, was helping Brecken find the expansion packs for the cards in his room.”
He looks to my empty hands. “Where are they?”
“Right here,” Breck says, holding up the two black cases. “Couldn’t remember where I’d placed them, so I recruited her help.”
Myles narrows his eyes. I don’t know if he’s buying it, but he doesn’t question it further. I mouth a ‘thank you’ to Breck, who blows me a kiss in response.
The front door slams and the rest of the party arrives. Not that it’s hard to miss since Quinn doesn’t know the meaning of indoor voice.
Adrienne rounds the corner and I run straight for her, giving her a warm embrace. “I’m so glad you came.”
“Me too,” she says, smiling through a frown. “Even though I really didn’t want to leave my little girl.”
“Babe, I told you, she’ll be fine. We needed the night out. It’s one of the last nights we’ll be able to do this as a group.”
“Yeah, the next time this happens, it’ll be their reception party,” Quinn says, jerking her thumb toward Myles and Tatum.
Tatum grins. “And that’s going to be some send-off before California. Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
Adrienne nods. “Lyric and I will go to L.A. with Kade and spend the winter there. I’d like to avoid the cold temps here as much as possible. Obviously, we’ll be back for the holidays, but the less I have to deal with the snow, the better.”
“That means it’s just the two of us,” Quinn says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
Great. Thanks for the reminder.
Pax comes out of the kitchen and claps his hands. “Are you gonna stand around all day and bullshit or are we going to toss together some highly inappropriate scenarios?”
We’d already set up a banquet table in the garage since it has the most room to accommodate everyone. Breck carries the cards while we all sit around the table, making sure to sit away from our significant others to mix things up a little.
“Okay, it says whoever has pooped the most recent starts.”
