by Lexi C. Foss
“I can’t let her leave like that, B.”
“And I can’t let you go after her.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He rounded on his oldest friend as the front door slammed. “Since when are you okay with letting a woman suffer on her own?” Balthazar was always the first to provide compassion and understanding, mostly because of his ability to read thoughts and control emotion.
“As I just stated, nothing about this situation applies to the norm,” Balthazar replied in that irritatingly calm voice of his. “And you’re not in the frame of mind to handle it.”
“Excuse me?”
“You want to tell her the truth,” Balthazar continued. “And don’t deny it, Jay. You’ve been thinking about it all night, and your emotions right now can’t be trusted. You’ll break.”
Jayson’s gut reaction was to punch his best friend in the face, but reason held him in check.
“Fuck…” He rubbed his hand over his face before grabbing the wooden chair beside him and squeezing until it cracked. “Fuck.”
“That’s exactly what I told you to do last night,” Balthazar muttered as he finally let him go. “And with any other woman, you would have done it. But not her. Tell me why that is?”
Jayson shook his head. “It’s wrong, and you know it.”
“The attraction is mutual, clearly. So how is it wrong, Jay?” Balthazar waited for a response, but Jayson couldn’t articulate one fast enough. “Because you’re worried she’ll never forgive you for it—something you would never concern yourself with for any other woman.”
“I’m not an ass.”
“And I’m not calling you one,” Balthazar countered. “I’m saying you usually wouldn’t consider a future with a woman, but you’re thinking about one with Lizzie. That’s why you won’t give in to your desire and also why you can’t go after her right now. You’re too tempted to tell her everything, and although I can condone sating the needs of you both, I can’t allow that. Not without the others agreeing first.”
Jayson knew he was right, but fuck if he didn’t want to ignore logic and chase after Lizzie.
The hurt in her eyes… He’d put that there. Not because he meant to, but because he hadn’t been quick enough to explain.
“I hate this,” he admitted. “All of it.”
“We’ll sort it, Jay,” Balthazar murmured. “But first I need thirty minutes to finish up in the bedroom. Afterward, we’ll head out to meet Luc.”
“Thirty minutes?” Jayson repeated with a half-hearted laugh. He couldn’t exactly be amused with Lizzie hurting downstairs, but he tried anyway. “You tired, B?”
“The ladies started without me,” Balthazar replied with a shrug. “I gave them an objective, and they’re living up to the task.”
“Right.” Jayson shook his head, irritated. “Not even that appeals to me right now.” And it fucking should because he knew syrup was somehow involved. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”
*
Lizzie threw her purse onto her mattress and collapsed beside it. She’d been an idiot to leave it unattended on Jayson’s foyer table all night and an even bigger idiot for going to bed with him.
Or maybe it was the losing her shit over nothing that qualified her for Idiot of the Year?
A sob tore from her chest as she curled into a ball.
How had her night of bliss and passion ended so horribly? She’d let her insecurities out to play at the worst possible time, but seeing how unfazed he was by his friend’s bedroom antics hit a nerve. Their night together—which she more than enjoyed—proved him far more skilled than her, but hearing how experienced he was scared the crap out of her.
Exhibitionism.
Sharing.
Erotic parties ending in ménages of unknown quantities, with breakfast the following morning.
I don’t tend to entertain five women in my bed at once. Meaning he’d done it before.
Her chest rattled, forcing her to breathe.
How could she ever satisfy a man like that? No wonder he hadn’t wanted to renegotiate this morning.
All that talk about the future had given her hope that he wanted more, that he was easing her into their passion out of respect for her inexperience. But his proclivities existed on a level she could never reach, and he surely realized that last night.
Was she just a diversion? The virgin neighbor he wanted to corrupt and deflower?
God, she hoped not. His touch had awakened something foreign in her. And he hadn’t hidden how much he wanted her.
Unless he looked at all women that way.
“Damn it,” she whispered as more tears fell.
Even if he did want her, she couldn’t live up to his expectations. And after the way she’d just acted over breakfast, he surely knew that.
She’d more than overreacted.
But five women at once? That couldn’t be normal. What did one even call that? A ménage à six?
And if he didn’t tend to entertain that many women, how many did he bed on a regular basis?
You don’t want that answer.
He was right. She didn’t.
Jayson had been the first man to ever really touch her, and she had wanted so much more. She’d ruined that chance by reacting like a prude in his dining room.
Maybe it was for the best. Lizzie never planned to wait until marriage but had never met anyone who tempted her enough for sex. Other than Tom. Except now she wondered if that was true.
The feelings and sensations Jayson had aroused in her over the last few weeks were nothing compared to her past. Tom’s hugs gave her girly butterflies, while Jayson’s kisses set her on fire.
Her phone dinged, sending a jolt of hope through her heart, followed by a shiver of dread. She’d left her dress and shoes in his room. He probably wanted to drop them off, or worse, needed her to come get them.
Another ping had her groaning and digging through her purse for her phone.
The text on the screen was not what she expected.
OMG! You’ll never guess what Cam did!
Oh, and you better be free tonight, Liz. It’s been ages since I saw your face, and I need a girls’ night.
A second later another message appeared.
Seriously, you need to call me ASAP. I’m dying over here!
Lizzie pressed her face into the bedding and muttered unintelligibly to herself.
She’d been relieved and saddened to find the condo empty. Breaking down in front of Stas would have been mortifying, but also therapeutic. Kristin did not offer the same outlet. She was a fun friend, not a close friend.
Another chime had her peeking at the phone.
Did Kristin tell you about the tickets?
Cam added a bunch of excited emojis afterward, including wicked devil faces and lips. A photo of a fallen angel outfit arrived next, followed by another text.
You still have that outfit from the Alpha B&W party our senior year, right?
Lizzie sat up on her bed, her interest piqued.
Yes, she typed back.
Little dots appeared from Cam seconds before her response popped up on the screen.
Good! Wear it tonight. It’s fucking hot, chick.
Lizzie flipped to the conversation with Kristin. She considered texting but decided calling would be easier. After several deep breaths, she cleared her throat and hit dial.
An excited squeal came over the line, forcing her to pull the phone away from her ear.
“Are you sitting down?”
Lizzie cleared her throat again before saying, “Yes.”
“Cam scored us tickets to some exclusive Halloween party tonight, and you’re totally coming with us. No arguments, Liz. I haven’t seen you in like two months, and I know how you feel about dressing up.”
Lizzie grimaced. The idea of playing dress-up for anything right now did not appeal to her in the slightest, but she couldn’t exactly say that. Not without Kristin requiring a reason and demanding Lizzie go
out anyway.
“The fastest way to get over a guy is to get under another one” was one of Kristin’s favorite sayings.
“What time?” Lizzie asked.
“Cam says to be at her place by nine, and she wants you to wear that sexilicious costume from that black-and-white party. You know, the one where she hooked up with Dean?” She rattled off some additional details and a comment about her own outfit before ending with, “Any questions?”
“Where’s the party being held?” Lizzie didn’t really care but thought it might be good information to jot down in case Stas came home later.
“The Arcadia,” Kristin replied. “It’s supposedly a hot club, though I’ve never been there, and they throw an annual Halloween party with exclusive clientele. Cam says we should expect celebrities.”
Those words would have excited her a few months ago. Now she just wanted to hide. “Sounds good,” she managed. “I need to start getting ready.”
Kristin would interpret that to mean Lizzie wanted to ready herself physically, but really, she required the time to regroup mentally. Because she couldn’t put on a happy face and enjoy an evening out with the girls while moping over Jayson.
“Awesome. Toodles, Liz.”
The line went dead.
Lizzie stared at her reflection in the mirror over her dresser.
Maybe this will be good for me, she thought.
She never did anything like this anymore, not since Tom’s death, and she so desperately needed to let go of the pain.
Some alcohol and dancing would chase away the shadows beneath her puffy eyes.
A little harmless flirtation could help her forget Jayson temporarily, too.
Hanging out with her old friends would help her feel less lonely. Stas wouldn’t like it because she didn’t care for Lizzie’s sorority sisters.
“But she’s not here,” Lizzie murmured to herself. “She’s never here.”
So why not go out and enjoy a little fun? Nothing held her here except herself. Jayson clearly didn’t care that she’d run off, or he would have stopped by or called by now. Going out with friends seemed like the natural cure. She already had the outfit and shoes; she just needed the hair and makeup to go with it.
“I can do this,” she told herself.
Experiencing a new club wouldn’t be a hardship, and if she didn’t like it, she’d come home. Easy.
“Now I just need to find that costume.”
12
Angels and Demons at the Costume Ball
College enrollment complete. Benefactor is eager to see how subject acclimates to the social environment and extracurricular activities.
—Entry Log 118.06.4-7
“Estrogen?” Jayson asked, incredulous. Could that be why he found Lizzie irresistible? He adored women, but something about her drew him in like no one else ever had, which was saying a lot for a man his age. “Are they trying to turn her into a succubus or something?”
Luc leaned against the wall beside him with his hands in his pockets. “She’s quite alluring, but I don’t think that’s the purpose.”
“She’s a gorgeous woman,” Balthazar added. “But I don’t find her irresistible.” The pointed glance and word choice said he’d been playing in Jayson’s thoughts. It was the mind reader’s way of confirming that Jayson’s feelings were his own and not the result of scientific intervention.
But that didn’t mean the serum wasn’t at least partly responsible.
“What were the chemical properties?” Anything addictive, perhaps? Because that’s how Jayson would describe his desire for Lizzie—an infatuation. He craved her presence and wished he was in New York with her, not here in Hydria. He’d left her with a guard again, but if she left the condo, the Hydraian wouldn’t be able to follow. And that left Jayson antsy and anxious to return.
Luc scratched his jaw, gaze thoughtful. “The solution is primarily composed of estrogen and a few filler ingredients.”
“So it’s like a birth control pill?” Stas guessed. She stood across from them with Issac at her side.
Neither of them had greeted Jayson favorably, likely because they didn’t approve of Lizzie spending the night at his place last night. Well, too fucking bad. His only regret was the way she had left this afternoon, something he would rectify as soon as they finished this conversation.
“Not quite,” Luc replied. “Nothing in the chemical makeup prevents conception. It’s more of a hormonal regimen, but for what, I’m not certain.” He shifted his focus to Tom. “I don’t see how this serum is keeping her alive.”
“I never said it was.” Tom folded his tanned arms. The newly turned Hydraian was clearly spending a lot of time near the pool with Amelia. “All I overheard was the mention of a monthly dose, and we all jumped to conclusions that Lizzie required it to live. Your research states otherwise, unless hormones are now required for breathing?”
“It’s moot,” Luc said. “We can replicate the serum, but I need a blood sample before we go any further.”
“From Lizzie?” Stas’s tone and expression dared anyone to answer that, but of course, Luc enjoyed a good challenge.
“Yes.” Flat, straight to the point, and underlined in authority.
“No,” she said immediately. “No. What we do next is tell her the truth. You have her serum. Replicate it, and let’s bring her to safety.”
“That’s not your decision to make,” Luc murmured, expression and stance professionally polite. Only those who knew him well would see the tick in his jaw, suggesting his urge to assert dominance.
“Maybe not,” Stas agreed. “But I’m not going into her room like some vampire and stealing her blood without permission.” She flashed an apologetic look at Issac, who merely shrugged in response. She blew out a breath and refocused on Luc, her expression still contrite but for a different reason.
Luc and Stas had disagreed with one another since day one, mostly because she feared her future and he found her behavior to be selfish. Jayson suspected it would only grow worse once Stas changed into a Hydraian—her innate gift for controlling people undermined Luc’s natural sovereignty in Hydria.
“I’m done lying to her, Luc,” she said, her tone lacking the confrontation from moments ago. “We agreed that we needed more information about her, and now we have it. Meanwhile, Lizzie’s alone in New York with more than one lunatic, and that’s unacceptable. It’s time to tell her everything and move her somewhere safe before”—she paused to clear her throat, her eyes darkening—“before Ezekiel decides on his next move.”
Jayson nodded, agreeing with every word but also keeping his mouth shut. His place in this discussion was jeopardized by his selfish reasons for wanting Lizzie to know the truth. Something Balthazar wouldn’t hesitate to point out if it came down to an even vote.
“Stas is right,” Tom said, but with a touch more reverence. “We’ve been searching for two months, and all we’ve found are some hormone-laced drinks. It’s not a lot to go on, but we can gather more details from her once she’s in Hydria—where she’ll be safe.”
Luc remained quiet, considering, and met Issac’s gaze. “And you?”
“I do not believe Elizabeth to be a threat to anyone other than herself,” he replied. “Informing her of our world and her potential place in it will not go over well, and I worry about her reaction—not for us, but rather, for her.”
“He’s right,” Balthazar murmured. “You’ll need me to numb her emotions, or she may do something rash.”
“Alik?” Luc asked, his focus shifting to the silent man in the corner of the room.
“I recommended we bring her here two months ago, while you all agreed to send Jayson to play babysitter.” Alik unfolded his arms to place his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “That should answer your question.”
Luc acknowledged the response with a nod before fixing his gaze on Jayson. “And you?”
“Balthazar would tell you that my feelings on this subject prohibit me fro
m offering an unbiased response,” he replied honestly. “But I agree with the others that it’s time to tell her the truth.”
“So you all believe on varying levels that she’s ready.” Luc’s carefully pitched tone suggested he didn’t agree but would trust their opinions.
“She’s not.” Issac wrapped his arm around Stas as she reacted to his frank reply. “But I believe we are at an impasse. We require her cooperation to learn more, and the only way for that to happen is to tell her the truth. And I do not believe waiting for Ezekiel’s next play is our smart move.”
Jayson agreed with a nod, as did everyone else.
“Well.” Luc clasped his hands and shrugged. “I guess that leads us to the next topic of discussion. Who is going to tell her and how?”
*
The reason for Cam’s request to wear their black and white outfits became clear almost immediately.
Angels and demons.
Not an original Halloween party theme, but a classic nonetheless.
Most of the guests wore sinister outfits with leather and chains, giving the club a gothic feel. The music blaring overhead added to the dark atmosphere, as did the low lighting.
Definitely not Lizzie’s usual hangout, but perfect for a spooky evening filled with drinking and dancing.
“Ladies,” the bartender murmured as he dropped off their cocktails.
Cam simpered at the handsome man while Kristin handed over her card to start a tab. They alternated nights throughout college, something that had continued after graduation. Lizzie had covered their last girls’ night out, and tonight was Kristin’s turn.
“You’re glowing,” Cam said around her straw.
Lizzie grinned. “It’s the black light.” Her pure-white outfit of a miniskirt, knee-high boots, and a tank top were all glowing a purple color. “If only I had wings.” She’d resemble a violet angel.
“Your bra is completely visible,” Kristin teased. “We should have worn white too, Cam.” They were both wearing black—Cam in a skirt that barely covered her butt and a see-through shirt, revealing her lacy bra, and Kristin in leather pants and a halter top.
