by Lexi C. Foss
How many times did he say they were just friends? She realized now what he’d been trying to do—push her away from any romantic notions. He never wanted to sleep with her, hence all those platonic kisses. It’d been an attempt to pacify her, but she had taken matters into her own hands during his party and kissed him, leaving him no choice but to respond.
No wonder he said they weren’t having sex and refused to let her reciprocate.
He never wanted her. She didn’t compare to his usual fare, something his friends had been happy to point out.
It’d all been a job to him. An obligation.
Why did that hurt most of all? Because everything else had weakened her to this point, or was it because she had started to care about him more than everyone else in her life?
I’m such a fool.
To ever think a man like him would want her…
At least she had confirmation about her feelings for Tom. His rejections had never hurt like this.
“I need to go,” she whispered, her insides aching. “Now.”
Because any longer in this room and she would break. She needed her room, her bed, and solitude before the tears came.
“Teleporting you back to New York so soon will make you a little queasy,” a soft voice said. “But I will take you, if that’s what you really want.”
She met a pair of silver eyes filled with understanding and sadness. Jacque. The one who teleported her here, according to Jayson.
“You’ll take me to my condo?”
“I will,” he promised, holding out his hand. “If you’ll allow me.”
She didn’t even think, she just pressed her palm to his. He could dump her in a fiery pit, and it would still be better than this place.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered. “I’ll tell you when to open them again.”
The air shifted around her as she did as he suggested, and her stomach turned over at the unwanted inertia. It reminded her of an intense wind tunnel that stopped almost as quickly as it began.
“We’re here,” he murmured. “You can look now.”
They stood in her living room again, and she nearly wept with relief. “Thank you.”
He walked over to her sofa and bent to write something in the notebook lying open on the coffee table. “That’s my direct line. Add the number to your phone, and call me when you’re ready to come back. You’re upset, and rightfully so, but they’re still your family, Lizzie. And they love you.”
Jacque disappeared before she could argue, leaving her more alone than ever before. Just as she wanted.
And yet, it only seemed to rip her apart even more.
I’m alone.
Well and truly alone.
Nothing would ever be the same now.
She didn’t make it to her bed as originally planned, but instead she collapsed on the carpet and let all her emotions go.
It wasn’t until much later—as Lizzie read Jacque’s note—that she realized she couldn’t call him even if she wanted to. That required a phone, one she didn’t have because she’d left it at Cam’s apartment with her purse.
15
A Free Spirit
Sleep deprivation logged at seven days and subject showing no signs of degradation. Benefactor requests simulation continues to test endurance.
—Entry Log 105.07.4-7
Jayson rubbed a hand over his face as Jacque disappeared with Lizzie.
“That went well,” he muttered. Her pain had been a visceral thing, silencing anything he would have said.
You could have done all that without the added benefits. Her soft words had affected him in a way no others ever had. Because he should have protected her without touching her, but he had given in to the impulse instead.
Remorse mingled with frustration, because although he knew it was wrong, it had felt so right. How could he apologize for something he didn’t fully regret?
“I expected her to be angry, but this…” Stas trailed off, her face paler than usual. “She can’t stay there alone.”
“She won’t,” Jayson replied. “I’ll be there.” It wasn’t up for discussion. Lizzie didn’t want a babysitter. Fine. He would be a guard instead.
Tom nodded, agreeing with Jayson’s plan. He’d settled back onto the couch with Amelia at his side, but he didn’t appear at all relaxed. His fingers traced his jaw, though Jayson doubted it still hurt from Lizzie’s punch. The hit had been impressive, and startled most of the room, but also impactful on an emotional level, which showed in Tom’s expression now.
“I can’t leave it like this,” Tom said. “When Jacque gets back, I’ll ask him to teleport me to see if I can convince her to talk to me.”
“I really think it should be me,” Stas replied. “I know her best and—”
“You are not returning to New York City.” Issac’s tone brooked no argument. She opened her mouth to try, but he silenced her with an empathic, “No. This is not up for debate, Astasiya. Ezekiel knows you’re a fledgling. Why he has not seen fit to act on that knowledge, I do not know, but this changes everything.”
She was already shaking her head. “That’s not your call.”
“Indeed?” He arched a brow, daring her to disagree. “You seem to forget that your life is not the only one at risk in this situation. Should Ezekiel inform Osiris of your fledgling status, who will receive the harsher sentence?”
Her eyes widened, but the Ichorian wasn’t finished.
“I have broken every Blood Law in an effort to support your decisions, Astasiya. And while it may be admirable, it ends now. I will not debate this with you. Call Jonathan and tell him you require a vacation, or quit, I do not care. As of this moment, you are not to leave Hydria until we determine Ezekiel’s motives.”
“And you?” she countered, clearly furious. “Will you be staying as well?”
“That remains to be seen,” he replied coolly. “I have progeny to consider, as well as a company to run.”
Stas folded her arms. “And I have nothing.”
“You will have nothing if you are dead.” A simple reply that didn’t quite cool the fire brewing in Stas’s eyes.
If Issac was trying to divert her attention away from the pain of hurting Lizzie, he was doing an excellent job of it. But Jayson suspected it ran deeper than that. Everything the man said was true, even if Stas didn’t want to believe it.
“Why do you get to risk your life and I don’t?” she demanded.
“Because I’m not nearly as valuable as you are,” he replied without missing a beat. “Lucian has painstakingly allowed you to put yourself at risk with the CRF for a greater purpose under the promise that I keep you safe, and I can no longer guarantee that.”
Her gaze narrowed. “And what happens when Ezekiel tells Osiris anyway?”
“That’s for me to worry about.”
“Fuck you.” Tears brimmed in her eyes. “Fuck you for even thinking that! You believe you’re the only one allowed to worry here? I sat through that Conclave, Issac. What Osiris did… You can’t possibly think I would be able to sit by and allow that to happen to you, that I wouldn’t fight for you.”
“I know you would.” He didn’t flinch under the display of emotion. “Which is why you’re staying here. I can’t protect myself if I’m busy worrying about saving you.” He palmed her cheek then her neck when she tried to move away from him.
“Don’t, Aya. You’re upset, and understandably so, but you cannot allow your sentiments to override the logical course, or we’ll both regret it.”
She looked ready to say more, when Jacque appeared, his expression somber. “I left her with my number in case she desires a lift back here,” he said to the group before focusing on Jayson. “Ready?” The teleporter knew him well.
“Yep.”
“I would stay out of sight for a few days,” Balthazar suggested from his spot against the wall. He’d been observing the argument between Issac and Stas with a serious expression. All the Elders had agreed months ago
that should her safety ever become a bigger issue than it already was, they would take measures to keep her in Hydria.
Unfair, but necessary, as Issac was right—Stas’s gift for persuasion would be crucial during the next immortal war. And her life held more value than his, from a strategic point of view, anyway.
“I can’t just sit here and do nothing,” Stas said, shaking her head against Issac.
“It’s for the best,” Tom murmured. “As much as it sucks, they’re all right. Your life is worth more than a few CRF secrets. We have what we need to keep Lizzie safe. There’s no need for you to stay there anymore.”
Stas freed herself from Issac’s hold. He didn’t try to touch her again but did watch her in that keen way he mastered through his brief centuries on Earth. “But we don’t have Lizzie.”
“Let me handle that,” Jayson replied. “Give me a week.”
Balthazar nodded. “From what I gathered of her emotions and her thoughts, Jay is our best hope right now.”
Stas scoffed at that. “He barely knows her.”
“I know enough,” Jayson replied, irritated. This behavior had gone on long enough. He understood her distrust in the beginning, with everything being new and overwhelming, but now she just needed a swift kick in the ass. “You need to start trusting and respecting our experience, as it far outweighs yours.”
Shock registered in her expression, replacing the frustration. “I… That’s not…”
“It is,” he insisted. “Your inability to have faith in our world has hindered your relationships with us from the beginning. I understand that you are not ready for immortality, but you need to accept your future. Perhaps you can use the next few weeks in Hydria to explore the world you’ll be joining.”
He didn’t wait for her response. Rather, he focused on Jacque. “Let’s go. Lizzie has already been alone too long.”
*
Lizzie hesitated. If she knocked and no one answered, what would she do next? Call the cops from the phone she didn’t have on her? Tell them that vampires exist and to please go check the Arcadia?
She almost laughed at the absurdity.
No one would believe her, and all the people she could confide in were liars.
“Just knock,” she chided before the tears could start again. She already felt hungover from crying all night, not sleeping, and failing to eat or drink anything this morning. Or maybe the headache was a result of all the questions ricocheting through her head.
Who the heck knew, but she needed her purse and phone.
Her knuckles rapped against the door softly at first and harder as panic stirred. When Cam answered a minute later wearing her silky pajamas and a scowl, Lizzie threw her arms around her neck and hugged the life out of her.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Cam asked as she patted Lizzie on the back. “And why are you trying to suffocate me?”
“I was so worried,” Lizzie admitted, her eyes dampening with relief. At least Kiel had told her the truth about Cam. She pulled away to look around the living area. “Is Kristin here too?”
“No, she took Zach home with her. Speaking of, Lars is still in my room, so… What do you need?” Typical Cam, eager to return to the man in her bed.
“Did he…?” Lizzie flinched as she spied the red mark on Cam’s neck. “Never mind.” He’d bitten her but hadn’t killed her. Yet. “I need my purse.”
“Oh yeah. It’s still in the dining room. You can lock up on your way out.”
She grabbed her friend’s arm. The words she really wanted to say—He’s a vampire!—refused to exit her mouth. So she settled on asking, “Are you sure about him? I mean, you just met.”
Cam giggled and shook her head. “Oh, virgin Lizzie. You’re so cute. I promise I’ll be fine.” She patted her on the head like one would a child. “Call ya later, chick.”
Lizzie watched helplessly as her friend skipped off toward the bedroom. Even if she told her the truth, Cam would never believe her. She would probably laugh and tell Lars, and that wouldn’t end well for any of them.
If he hadn’t killed her yet, he probably wouldn’t, right?
She could call Stas to ask, or that teleporter guy, or even Jayson, but would they tell her the truth?
Lizzie found her purse and pulled out her phone. What would she say? Hi, just calling to find out if this Ichorian in the bedroom is going to kill my friend. She snorted. That sounded ridiculous. And she didn’t trust them anyway. Not after everything.
She had no one to turn to.
Her parents couldn’t be trusted, especially after what Jayson and Kiel had said about the CRF. Her best friend had lied to her for months. The man she once thought she loved had faked his death and left her to live in misery without him. Then the man she started to well and truly fall for had turned out to be a babysitter sent to charm her into revealing information.
And her sorority sisters were shacking up with bloodsucking monsters.
She stared at her phone as if it could provide all the answers and noticed the nineteen missed calls. All from her mother. She’d sent a handful of text messages as well.
Lizzie had probably missed some sort of function. Or maybe they’d called to check up on her.
She snorted. Yes, because they care.
The last message came in twenty minutes ago. It wasn’t like her mother to give up. Lizzie bet someone had been sent to her condo to check in on her, meaning she couldn’t go home.
Not that she wanted to anyway.
Stas’s stuff was still there. She could drop in at any moment to retrieve her belongings and move out, and Lizzie didn’t want to face her or watch it happen.
If she called Jacque, he would teleport her to Hydria, which would be miserable but would at least provide some answers.
She shook her head. Not ready for that either.
“Damn it,” she whispered, her eyes squinting as she strove for answers.
A piece of shiny plastic in her purse caught her eye. A credit card without a limit. One tied to her father’s account, but with her name.
She checked the outer pocket for her passport as a plan formed. The devil popped up on one shoulder, while an angel sat on the other. She usually listened to the haloed creature, but today, the horned one spoke her language.
This isn’t a good idea.
Are you kidding? This is a fantastic idea.
It’s unsafe.
So is New York City, apparently. What could it hurt?
Everything!
Live a little.
I have to work tomorrow.
Seriously? That’s your best excuse? Send an email and take the week off. You’ve earned this.
“Yes,” she agreed. “I have.” Living in a box and obeying the rules led to a lonely existence. Everyone else lied, cheated, and hurt her. Why couldn’t she do something spontaneous and a tad dangerous?
There’s a vampire in the other room, she thought with a laugh. She’d visited a club full of them last night, teleported to Greece to meet several more immortal beings, found out her best friend was apparently a part of that world for months without telling her, and also saw a man come back from the dead.
Yeah, a little trip on her father’s dime was nothing compared to all of that.
A vacation was just what she needed. Somewhere to help her relax and think, away from all the distractions and troubles. When she returned, Stas would have moved out, and Lizzie could go on with life as normal.
Or not.
Either way, she deserved this excursion.
Decided, she sent an email to work stating she needed the week off. Her lesson plans were already done. A substitute would have no issue taking over.
That done, Lizzie left Cam’s apartment and headed to the airport. Her navy shift dress was appropriate enough for a plane ride, and she could buy new clothes with her father’s card when she arrived. He rarely monitored the account, and even if he did, he would just settle the bill as usual.
Sometimes i
t paid to have a rich father.
*
“We have a problem,” Jayson said as soon as Mateo answered the phone. “Lizzie’s at the airport and just bought an airline ticket, but I couldn’t get close enough to find out where.”
“I see,” Mateo murmured. “Which desk?”
Jayson gave him the name of the airline.
“Any idea what card she used?”
“If I wasn’t close enough to hear her, I obviously didn’t see it,” Jayson replied, his patience thinning thanks to the runaway redhead. She’d led him on a merry goose chase through Manhattan to a random apartment building before walking to Penn Station and boarding a train to Newark. He’d texted Luc to give him an update but hadn’t anticipated her actually purchasing a plane ticket.
“Give me five minutes.” Mateo ended the call as Jayson watched Lizzie go through airport security.
“Minx,” he murmured. He sent a report to Luc with a shake of his head.
The woman needed a stern lesson on how to make smart decisions because this was not one of them.
He understood her fragile mental state, but to board a plane in response? Such an immature and bratty move. It weakened his regard for her intelligence as well.
He answered his phone as it started to vibrate. “Talk to me, M.”
“Do you have your American passport handy?”
Jayson frowned. “No. It’s in the condo.”
“Okay. I suggest you ask Jacque to pop over and retrieve it for you because you’re running out of time.” A ding popped on Jayson’s phone while Mateo was talking. “Congratulations. You’ve just been booked on the last available Polaris Business seat to Rome, and your flight leaves in sixty-seven minutes.”
“Tell me the seat is next to hers,” he growled.
“Of course. Safe travels, Jay.” Mateo hung up again, and Jayson swore the man was laughing as he did.
