She laughed on the other end. “Sounds like Syd. All I can tell you is that nothing has happened between the two of you that can’t be fixed. Is she angry? Hell yeah because you keep shutting her out and you have to stop doing that. But she isn’t perfect either and her hormones have her all over the place.”
“I know they do and I feel terrible about what has happened between us. I love that woman so much and I’m afraid I fucked up big time when I left. I was such a fucking prick but I plan to make it up to her. I will do everything in my power to make sure she knows how much I love her before the end of the day.”
“Kaz, she already knows how much you love her but you have to allow her the freedom to be her own person and make up her own mind.”
“What are you talking about? I give her plenty of freedom!” he snapped in a derisive manner.
“Oh, you do?” Talia wondered with enough snark and bite in her voice to keep him from responding. “You didn’t ask her how she felt about moving to Las Vegas—you merely told her there was an opportunity for the band there and if the deal was sweet enough, you were going to take it. Did you ever once stop to ask her opinion about the issue? Never mind you know she would have said yes but that isn’t the point. You acted like a goddamn caveman and frankly, I am getting a little tired of all you cocky fucking Cox men.”
“Listen, whatever Jaden did to you has nothing to do with me—”
“Really? You two talk all the time and if you really wanted to, you could have convinced him to leave Faith by now. We both know she is poison; she isn’t good for him to be around and her continued drug use threatens his sobriety. Yes, he’s been good up until now but I have to walk around egg shells with him and take his calls at all times of the goddamn night because that’s what you do for people you love.
“Love is really ugly; it’s selfish, mean, all-consuming and strips you to your bones. It can also be beautiful and uplifting and wonderful but consider the fact that I am pregnant, I have to work with my ex-boyfriend almost every day and I am flat out exhausted. Do I sound like someone who should have gotten five hours of rest last night because Jaden called me at three and I haven’t been able to sleep?”
Kaz felt terrible about calling and getting Talia involved with the mess he’d made for himself. She didn’t need this crap in her life when she was already dealing with too much shit on her plate.
“Listen, I shouldn’t have called. I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I will lean on Jaden to make a decision. The way he’s strung you along makes me angry. You’re a good woman, Talia, and a welcome addition to the family.”
“Thanks. Drive carefully and call me when you get back to L.A.”
“I will.”
He ended the call and stepped on the gas.
As far as he was concerned, he wasn’t moving fast enough and he couldn’t wait to get back to his comfortable bed with the woman who loved and adored him snuggled in his arms.
Chapter Eleven
Devil in My Bed
IT WAS MIND blowing what a man with an amazing tongue could do to a pregnant woman’s body. Too bad it wasn’t my fiancé but his brother and the worst part was I didn’t much care it wasn’t Kaz who pleasured me more than any man ever had.
If anyone had told me anyone else besides Kaz could make me feel so good, I would have told them they were crazy. However, Cillian was a skilled lover and the way he took control, I couldn’t have resisted him if I wanted to, and unfortunately, I had no inclination to deny him any part of my body.
Although I knew what we were doing was so wrong, it felt right, I did have some decorum. The moment his tongue swirled around mine, he picked me up like I weighed nothing and took me to his guest bedroom suite.
My body sank down into the California King bed before the weight of his own body pressed against mine. He used his arms to balance himself as he continued to devour my lips with such intensity, I couldn’t do anything else but wrap my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
Our kiss ended abruptly as he sat up and undid my shorts before sliding them down my legs. The expensive lace thong I wore was still firmly in place and I could still stop this if I wanted to…but I didn’t want to do anything but experience all the pleasure Kaz had denied me.
Cillian’s crystal blue eyes stared into my own and he whispered, “If you’re not sure about this, we don’t have to do it, love. I wouldn’t dare hurt you or force you into something you didn’t want to happen. That’s what the sweet-butts at the club are for and I am more than willing to use one of them rather than have you hate me for the rest of your life.”
I smiled slightly. “Who knew Cillian ‘The Killer’ Cox had a heart? I have no attack of conscience and I want you to fuck me. If you’ve changed your mind, I won’t hold it against you.”
“Not on your life, woman.” He smirked and the old Cillian was back with a vengeance.
I sat up and removed my peasant blouse before I let it fall over the edge of the bed. He pushed me back down and began to devour my neck with little kisses before his hands grabbed my breasts and touched them gently. They were so sensitive, the mere stroke of his fingers against my nipples had me arching my back.
He undid my bra and slipped it off before his mouth slid over a pebbled nipple and sucked hard. The moment I felt a slight trace of his teeth against the sensitive flesh, I moaned out loud as his fingers worked the other nipple with a squeeze and a tug that had me almost falling off the edge of the earth.
Cillian’s head started moving further down, tracing the contours of my slight baby bump and my hips which were only starting to widen. He finally pulled off my thong and tossed it on the floor and when he spread my legs and the cool air hit my hot, soaking sex, I involuntarily tensed up.
He plunged two fingers inside me and began to finger-fuck me with long, leisurely strokes, which hit the spongy center of my G-spot. The sheer feel of a part of him inside me caused my hips to meet his thrusts and I couldn’t believe how much my body responded to his touch.
His fingers left me and he sucked on them before bent his head down and his fingers were replaced by a hot, persistent tongue. My hands explored his silky brown hair as he spread me open and his tongue worked its way to my clit. His whole mouth surrounded the sensitive nub and suckled between tonguing me and I felt myself come undone. I thought I knew what great oral pleasure was but this man had turned it into a virtual art form.
The way that delicious organ in his mouth worked between my legs had me seeing stars and bright lights. I closed my eyes to focus on the whole feeling of him working my clit, paying such special attention to my pleasure and teasing me up to a point before he backed off and pleasured another area in the sensitive region of my body. His fingers worked magic while he teased and urged me to come while he orally pleasured me.
The orgasm he coaxed from my body was quick and effortless. My heart thundered in my chest and I sat up around the same time as he did. He knelt down on his hunches and stripped his body of a vintage t-shirt that hugged his body and quickly rid himself of his jeans. I had to admit I was amazed when I saw the large cock he possessed, which was hard, scarlet-colored and angry looking.
“Mmm, I suppose big cocks run in the family,” I murmured as I spread my legs wider apart, giving him a better view of the goodies I had on display.
“Well, Cox men tend to be very well endowed. It’s a rumor that is how we got our surname in Ireland.” He smiled, his attitude very tongue-in-cheek.
I laughed out loud before I beckoned him over with a sexy forefinger. “Time to put up or shut up. Fuck me.”
Cillian’s crystal blue eyes stared into mine before he crawled toward me and before I realized it, he’d flipped me on my back and urged me to use my hands and knees to support me.
I felt his hands as they grabbed me by the waist and he thrust his Cox cock all the way inside of me. I had been with Kaz enough times to know he wasn’t wearing a condom and he was a biker.
The tattoos al
one and the way he pounded into me should have given me room for pause. I had never gotten a sexually transmitted disease and I didn’t intend to get one now.
“I know you can’t get me pregnant but…don’t you think you should use a jimmy? I can’t afford to get a venereal disease while I’m with child.”
“No worries, darlin’. I always use protection with women…even my old lady because I don’t trust the bitch. She always presents her blood results every time I get home just so we can have unprotected sex because she’s had a tubal-ligation. I wouldn’t just bare-back with anyone but you’re young, fresh, and clean and I have no intention of muckin’ that up. So just shut up and relax. I got you covered.”
His strong attitude coupled with the way his cock teased the walls of my clinching sex put me at ease. He traced the tattoo on my lower back before he murmured, “You’re not his property anymore because I own this pussy right now.”
I was taken aback by the bitterness in his words as he began to fuck me slowly with long, teasing strokes that had me begging for him to really pound me. Everything about his actions was slow and deliberate and I didn’t know if I wanted him to take this much care to really please me or treat me like a whore.
I could feel myself approaching the precipice and soon, I would come again as his the head of his cock kept hitting my G-spot. I grabbed the sheets and balled them in my hands as the feeling began at the tip of my toes. If he continued at this pace then I could just about put my orgasm on a timer and knew it would seize my whole body within several pain-staking minutes.
Of course this wasn’t Kaz and Cillian pulled out shortly after I grabbed the sheets. He slapped my ass cheeks. “Turn over darlin’.”
As I looked over my shoulder and winked at him, I did as I was told and sat down on my hunches. I glared into his intriguing eyes and he looked down at me as he scooted closer to me on the bed on his knees.
“Why don’t you be a good girl and lick your pussy juices off my cock.”
I grabbed his dick and swirled my tongue around the tip off the mushroom head, the pre-cum mixed with my own fluids. My mouth engulfed him and began to work slowly down the length of him, taking him into my mouth inch by lovely inch. Everything about giving Cillian head was different from Kaz and I tried not to make it a habit to compare this experience to my fiancé but I had no other full sexual experience in contrast.
His toned, fit, and tattooed body smelled like soap and a subtle cologne I couldn’t place but his scent was clean and fresh. I managed to fit him all the way in my mouth and down my throat before I withdrew his length. He gripped his cock and stroked it a few times before he grabbed me and hoisted me on his dick again.
This time I was on top of him and he scooted to the edge of the bed where he had more control and began to pump his length inside me. I grabbed a hold of his neck again as his hands grabbed my waist and I was able to meet his thrusts with the movement from my own hips. We soon were fucking one another in tandem and with complete synchronicity.
My vaginal muscles tightened around his cock and as he begun to speed his thrusts, I began to moan out loud. I could feel a monster orgasm build and this time, there wouldn’t be any interruptions and I would definitely get my pleasure before we were through.
I knew I was on the precipice and though I had already broken a most sacred vow, the moment Cillian actually made me come would seal the deal and there would be no going back.
He threw me on my back and he slipped my legs over his shoulders as he thrust inside me over and over again. His thumb pressed against my clit and he rubbed in a circular motion. Between the pressure on that swollen nub between my legs and the way his dick massaged my G-spot, my orgasm started slow and then overwhelmed every part of me including my senses and my need to feel anything outside of that moment.
My whole world was Technicolor bright and I closed my eyes, waiting for the feeling to end. I squeezed down on my vaginal muscles and Cillian moaned out loud.
“Fuck me, I’m coming, babe.” He continued to slam his cock inside of me and I breathed heavily as my own never-ending sexual release poured over me like I had fallen off the edge of a cliff without a parachute.
There was no bottom and all I wanted was satisfaction and release; it came to me with a disastrous spurt of energy that was hard for me to comprehend and when he finally stopped moving inside me, the world seemed to stop for a moment.
I lived in that afterglow and it was beautiful.
He withdrew and lay next to me, side by side on the bed. We held hands and laughed as he kissed my shoulder and my neck.
“Jesus Christ, if I wasn’t in love with someone else, I swear I would be in love with you right now.”
I looked over in his direction and smiled slightly. “I don’t love you either but that doesn’t mean I can’t say this has been one of the most amazing sexual experiences in my whole life. Probably because it can’t ever happen again.”
Cillian’s crystal blue eyes became serious as he searched my own. “No, you don’t understand what I’m saying. I said I wasn’t in love with you, Sydney…but a part of me will always love you. You’ve stolen a piece of my heart, sliced it right out of my chest and claimed it as your own.
“You’re witty, smart and a wonderful person. You’re so beautiful on the outside because the glow from the essence that is you on the inside just seeps out of your pores. You are a prize any man should cherish and worship. My brothers are fucking eejits…always let the good ones get away to end up with fucking trash that isn’t worth shit. If Kaz doesn’t fight for you then I will kick his ass myself.”
I laughed out loud before I bestowed Cillian with a light kiss on his lips. “Your words like poetry. You’re much more perceptive than you ought to be…are you sure you’re a biker? I thought all you guys knew was caveman talk.”
“And I thought all you rich girls only knew two words: ‘Let’s go shopping’.”
“That’s three words,” I murmured.
“Yeah, I kinda changed the phrase before it came out of my mouth.”
I laughed again and lay on my side while he looped his arm around my shoulders and held me closer to him.
This wasn’t just post-coital bliss but a real meeting of the minds and I missed having these occurrences after sex with Kaz. More often than not, he turned over and went to sleep sometime between me going to the bathroom and coming back to bed.
Yes, I had fucked up in a major way and if anyone could understand the product of cheating, it was me. My father had cheated on his wife to conceive me with my mother after all.
A part of me hated my behavior but the rational side of me thought this was something that had to happen. It would push Kaz into action and either he would fight for me like I wanted him to or I had resigned myself to raising this baby all by myself, the same way my mother had raised me.
I may have been a low-down, dirty bitch for cheating on my fiancé but I wasn’t a slut and I knew in my heart it was always better to go at it alone than to have another man over my child, and a son no less. He would never have to be ashamed of his mother because I planned to be the best one in the world and he would never want for anything except maybe love and affection from a father that chose not to be there for us.
My contemplation had taken me so deeply within myself, I didn’t realize anything was wrong until Cillian sat straight up in bed. “Holy fuck!”
“What’s the matter?” I asked as I slowly sat up with him.
“Fucking Kaz is home—that’s what’s the matter!”
And then I realized the magnitude of what we’d done as it slowly sank in.
This situation, as fucked as it was, just had gotten worse.
Chapter Twelve
Home Sweet Home
KAZ WALKED THROUGH the double doors of his home and was so bone tired, he didn’t realize anything was slightly off.
Syd was usually up by this time of the morning but she wasn’t expecting him either so he wasn’t all that surpri
sed. He turned on the Keurig machine and made himself a cup of coffee as he leaned over on the counter top.
Cillian strolled into the kitchen with bedhead, no t-shirt and a pair of jeans. His feet were bare and he tried to play it casual. “Hey, little brother. What brings you home so early? I thought you weren’t coming home until later today on the plane.”
Kaz grabbed his cup of coffee and sipped from the strong, black liquid. “I changed my mind. I wanted to see Syd as soon as possible. I realize what a fucking jerk I’ve been and I wanted to apologize to her because she deserves better.”
“You’re just now realizing that?” Cillian’s tone was mocking as he made himself a cup of coffee.
Rock My Heart Page 9
