Exposed

by Rachel Van Dyken

  Once she was asleep, I got up, put on my clothes, and slowly walked out the door, leaning against the frame as it clicked shut behind me.

  I needed space.

  Air.

  Not away from Tanit, just away from the choking realization that I had nothing to offer her but my gun — and part of me understood I was still too young to give her anything else — let alone the promises that kept coming too easy right along with the lies.

  “You’re loud.” Dante stepped out of the shadows scaring the shit out of me. I glared and then crossed my arms again. “Maybe next time make sure the door’s shut.” He smirked.

  I didn’t even flinch.

  With a sigh, he ran his hands through his hair and then leaned against the opposite wall. “You look rough.”

  “I feel rough.”

  “It had to be done.”

  “I’m not questioning what happened,” I said in a low voice. “I’m just questioning everything else. I’m twenty-one, I can’t really just marry her and live happily ever after.”

  “I see.” Dante was quiet, his blue eyes locked on mine. “So what exactly do you plan on doing? I assume you have a plan?”

  I shrugged. “Let her finish school, maybe send her with a few men just in case, get her away from—”

  Dante burst into laughter which was rare for him, making me even that much more pissed. “Shit man, you can’t just send a De Lange out into the wild, you know she’s got a target on her back that basically welcomes other Families to open fire.”

  I clenched my fists. “All it takes is one word from Tex, and she’s protected.” Or me, but I left that part out.

  Dante’s eyebrows shot up like he heard what I didn’t say. “One word from the Capo, huh?”

  I didn’t miss his lack of using Tex’s name.

  I just looked away. “The Capo can make decisions like that.”

  “So what? You kill the Capo, and you get to protect her without getting your hands dirty. Nicely done, man, just make sure it’s a clean head shot.”

  I scowled and hung my head, whispering in a low voice. “That’s not what I—”

  “Killing your own brother, should I sleep with one eye open?” Tex walked out of the shadows smirking like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

  I felt shame then.

  Deep, gut-wrenching shame.

  “Don’t be a coward.” Tex shook his head. “It looks like shit on you.”

  Dante stared me down, my skin felt prickly and hot as I thought about our options, thought about hers. “I can’t give her what she needs.”

  “Idiot, this one,” Tex grumbled. “Look, you’re all she needs, buy her a castle if she wants it, get her a pony, hell you can have her study from the house whatever she wants. Her life is held in your fingertips, and you’re just going to throw it away because you’re worried you’re not enough to keep her?”

  I felt my jaw click as I tried to swallow. My muscles were paralyzed with something — what was it? Fear? Dread?

  “She deserves more than blood,” I finally said.

  “No shit.” Dante pushed away from the wall like he was going to charge me. “Don’t you think I wish for more than that every day? I’m bringing twins into the world, fucking twin babies!” he raged. “Do you think I want to show them my darkness every day? Hell no! But you better believe I’ll kill for them, I’ll kill millions if I have to, and that’s why we stay, that’s why we do what we do because in a world full of monsters — sometimes it’s better to live with them.”

  “You’re the monster in this scenario,” Tex piped up. “Just in case you were wondering…”

  “Look in the mirror,” I snapped.

  He put his arm around me and then punched me in the stomach. I didn’t even recoil, just let him because I figured fighting was futile at this point with my head such a mess. Hell, maybe a little fist fight would help.

  “Look at it this way, she just shot her father…” Dante said. “Who better to live with than the one man who’s set to lead us if this idiot gets himself killed?” He jabbed his finger at Tex. “Think about it, and don’t be a dick.”

  Tex laughed then sobered. “But seriously, don’t be a dick.”

  “Who’s a dick?” Nixon asked as he made his way down the hall.

  All fingers pointed at me.

  He just rolled his eyes like it was old news and then stared me down. “You ready?”

  “Ready?” I repeated slowly wracking my brain for clues.

  “For your marriage.” He winked.

  And I could have sworn I almost passed out and fell against the door, especially when it opened and Tanit appeared, tears in her eyes as she whispered, “You’re sending me away?”

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Tanit

  I couldn’t look at him.

  Didn’t want to see the shame in his eyes.

  Refused to let him see and feel the rejection in my soul as I shoved past all of them, walked blindly down the hall and found myself in the large theater room.

  I stumbled into a rock-hard body and jerked back.

  Chase.

  His eyes narrowed as he stared down at me. I couldn’t help but flinch when he cupped my face with his strong hands, and then very slowly wiped my tears away.

  Not what I expected.

  I shivered under his lethal touch.

  How many people had he killed with those hands?

  How many fathers? Sons? Humans, for that matter?

  They were permanently stained, even though I couldn’t actually see the blood. I gulped and tried to move away but he kept me in place and then reached behind me and clicked the door shut.

  I could hear my own heavy breathing.

  Was he going to kill me too?

  I would deserve it.

  Based on my blood, I deserved death.

  I knew it.

  Everyone knew it.

  He dropped his hand and nodded toward the giant screen. “Movie?”

  I couldn’t be more stunned if I tried. My mouth gaped and then I found my voice. “I just helped kill someone and found out the one guy I would do it for again wants to send me away, and you want me to watch a movie?”

  He just shrugged and started walking over to one of the chairs. When I didn’t follow, he patted the leather with his hand.

  Slowly, I followed and then sat down next to him as he grabbed the remote and turned on Kardashians.

  “Seriously?” I whispered under my breath.

  He just laughed. “It was on from one of the girls, trust me, I don’t watch this shit, plus my wife would have my ass if she knew I spent my free time watching other women — besides, why would I do that when I have what I have?”

  I frowned. “I don’t understand you.”

  He snorted. “Get in line.”

  We sat in silence as he clicked through a few channels, finally settling on the Disney channel, again shocking me.

  “If I have to watch Descendants one more time…” he grumbled. “That’s the curse of fatherhood. I feel like toddlers should come with a warning: beware Cheerios will always be stuck to your ass at all times.”

  I finally smiled.

  He joined me.

  I’d always thought he was terrorizing, the way he looked, deadly, I was afraid to gaze too long at his icy blue eyes, but Chase smiling? He was almost pretty. He reminded me a lot of Nixon except his build was different, he had a lot of muscle, but it was packed beneath so many tattoos it was almost distracting.

  “So.” He put the remote down. “Dipshit’s going to send you away?”

  My throat clogged up with emotion as I nodded.

  Chase sighed and then ran a tatted hand through his inky black hair. “Here’s the thing, Tanit, the stories have it backward. The princess is never supposed to end up with the monster. It sounds romantic, hell it may even feel romantic, but it’s ugly, it’s bloody, it’s brutal. The princess should be with the prince — every fucking time. He doesn’t want to ruin you
. Hell, I don’t even like you, no offense, and I don’t want to ruin you.”

  I laughed. “I like your honesty.”

  “Both my blessing and my curse.” He winked. “Besides, I know what blood runs through your veins, and unless I can actually crack open that head of yours and see our blood etched on your brain, I’ll always mistrust you, but that’s my shit, not yours. My point is that blood on white is never pretty, no matter how much you crave that blood.”

  I frowned and stared down at my hands, I didn’t realize they were shaking until he grabbed them with both of his and turned me toward him. His were warm, strong, again unexpected because they held tenderness I’d never experienced before as he sighed and whispered, “Say the word and I’ll protect you until my last breath. Say the word and I’ll give you a car, enough money to buy whatever the hell you want, I’ll set up security, I’ll send two men for life. Say the word and I’ll make it easy for you to survive without this.” He hesitated and then said, “But surviving without him — I can’t make that go away. And coming from someone who loves as much as he hates — it will destroy you from the inside out if you walk away.”

  I didn’t speak. I felt the tears roll down my face, but I couldn’t find the words, and I wasn’t sure I would be able to, so I did the only thing I could. I wrapped my arms around the killer and held him close, then grazed his cheek with my lips and whispered, “Thank you.”

  If he was shocked he didn’t show it, just let me hug him, and when I pulled away, he wiped my tears, stood, and left me alone in the dark with Disney playing in the background.

  It was minutes later that Dom walked in the room. He didn’t say anything. Our thighs touched as he sat where Chase had just been sitting.

  Funny how sometimes the dark reveals its secrets when you least expect it, because when I looked at him, he didn’t look twenty-one anymore.

  He looked… more mature than he should.

  Heavy.

  Burdened.

  Like he held the entire weight of the world on his shoulders and was hesitant about taking on one more thing — me.

  Slowly, he slid to the carpeted floor, facing me on his knees as he took both of my hands in his and kissed my palms. I shuddered as he laid his head in my lap and held onto my body like it was his lifeline, like he was worshipping.

  It felt sacred in that moment.

  I closed my eyes and then lay across him, like I could protect him from the darkness swirling around us, like I could protect him from the depths of hell.

  But we both knew the truth.

  We were standing in a river of blood.

  And one day, we would drown in it.

  Together.

  “Marry me,” he whispered. “Not because you need my protection, not because it’s the smart thing to do,” He shuddered. “But because I don’t want to face the nightmares without you anymore — for years I’ve dreamed in blood, and now… I dream of you.”

  Tears rolled down my face onto his head.

  “I need you more than you need me,” he continued with a rasp. “And it terrifies me that one day, because of this life, you could be taken from me. I’d rather send you away than watch you die in my arms because I can’t protect you. But I can’t do it, I won’t do it. Stay.” He choked out the last word like he was on the brink of tears. “Stay.”

  I lifted my head and then braced his with both of my hands and leaned down, joining our lips together in a soft kiss.

  He pressed his body against mine, as he lay me flat against the leather and then straddled me, knees on either sides of my thighs as his kiss turned hungry, I wrapped my arms around his head and drank him in. He pulled back just enough to say. “You never said yes.”

  “What does my body tell you?”

  His gaze was hooded as he ran a hand from the curve of my neck all the way down to my breast, his lips were an inch from mine as he whispered, “It says I make you burn.”

  I nodded.

  His same hand disappeared under my shirt, fingers skimmed across my stomach and moved to my bra. “I make you want.”

  I gulped as he gripped my shirt and quickly tugged it over my head and kissed me harder, speaking the words against my mouth, into my very soul. “Choose me, the way my heart already chose you.”

  “Yes.” I nodded with more tears making their way down my cheeks. “Yes.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  Dom

  A heaviness settled over me the minute she said yes, or maybe it was just this unworthiness.

  Maybe it was guilt.

  Maybe a bit of trepidation.

  Maybe it was all of the above.

  I slept like shit knowing that Nixon already had it in his mind that it was happening sooner rather than later and knowing that the girl sleeping next to me with her arms and legs tangled around mine — would be mine forever, mine to protect, mine to keep alive.

  I raked my hands through my hair and sat up.

  Tanit stirred next to me then reached for my shoulder. “You’re still awake?”

  “Yeah.” My voice was hoarse with exhaustion. “You need to sleep.” I kissed her on the head just before she sat up and stared right through me, her eyes unwavering, her posture determined.

  “One thing.”

  “What?” I frowned. Maybe I was more tired than I realized. “Was that a question? Statement?”

  The corners of her mouth twitched. “Tell me one thing that’s making you lose sleep.”

  “Only one?” I teased while she rolled her eyes and then scooted closer. I huffed out a breath. “Fine, one thing.” I gulped and leaned in. “You getting hurt, I think that’s the big thing, the mother of all things, the thing of the things, is something happening to you.”

  “Because mafia mates for life or what?” She winked.

  I didn’t laugh.

  Or smile.

  “In my family…” I cupped her face with my hands. “Yes.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, and she gripped my wrists. “Okay then, point me in the direction of the best fighter and sign me up.”

  “This isn’t summer camp.” I groaned. “I’m not just going to sign you up under an assassin, pack you a lunch, and make sure you don’t forget your backpack. This is some scary shit. They tried to kill Dante before he was even a made man. Hell, they still find intense joy in trying to kill me.”

  She frowned. “That’s some messed up family.”

  “Mafia.” I sighed. “It’s hard to explain. It’s almost like our hobby, which I know how wrong that sounds especially after saying it out loud.”

  “It’s different,” she said slowly. “That doesn’t mean it’s weird or wrong, just not normal human behavior, but survival is survival right?” She seemed to think about it for a minute. “I mean if you see nothing but violence on a daily basis, it’s almost like you have to normalize it to survive it.”

  I stared at her, a bit stunned that in all my years with Nixon I’d never thought of that, and she’d hit the nail on the head with the ease of a genius.

  “Yeah.” I finally found my voice. “You’re right.”

  “So.” She clasped her hands around my neck and inched closer. “Best fighter, go, don’t even think about it.”

  “Hand to hand combat is Phoenix,” I said quickly. I felt my voice waver a bit, “But the best fighters are usually those who have nothing to lose. That used to be Chase. Trust me, being around that guy at any point a few years ago was like a death sentence. He’d get pissed if you breathed wrong. But now? Now…” I gulped. Damn it, I hated the Russians. I hated them so much I could taste it.

  “Now, I guess it would be someone you haven’t met before, and there’s a reason for that, so until that time comes, I say train with Phoenix, and if you pass his tests then there’s only one thing left for you to do.”

  “What’s that?”

  I fell back against the bed and whispered, “Cheers to Mother Russia.”

  “That’s not helpful.”

  “Oh trust m
e, he won’t be. He’ll try to kill you in your sleep, but you asked for the best fighter… he’s had no choice since his birth, guy clawed his way to the top with bloody fingers and doesn’t flinch when anyone else would hurl. He’s… different.”

  “Not safe.”

  “No, Tanit, but none of us are safe, not even to you. The last thing you want to do is cross anyone with Italian or Russian blood. You’ll see your body hit the floor before your soul realizes it’s been separated from its host.”

  “You suck at bedtime stories.”

  “You asked.” I chuckled, pulling her into my arms as she lay down next to me. “We can make arrangements in the morning, until then… There once was a beautiful girl named Tanit…”

  She burst out laughing. “That’s more like it. Just make sure to make me really pretty.”

  “Stories, Tanit…” I kissed her temple. “They could never do your true beauty justice.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  Tanit

  His mouth tasted like danger.

  His lips filled me with excitement.

  And his hands.

  His rough, large hands roamed all over my body like he was meant to worship me. Dom had told me a silly story, put me to sleep in minutes, and was now waking me up in the best way possible.

  Sunlight flickered past the pulled blinds, casting a sexy glow on his face. I’d always thought that Dom looked more like Nixon or Chase, but with the sunlight directly on his hair I could see pieces of Campisi in him. Especially in the barely noticeable red streaks that glistened through his darker strands.

  “You look like your brother right now,” I whispered, my voice heavy with sleep.

  Dom stopped kissing between my breasts. I never realized I could miss the heat of someone’s tongue until now.

  “I’m only going to say this once.” His voice was gruff, sexy, why did he have to look and sound sexy in the morning, when I probably had my hair sticking up all over the place and sleep in my eyes? “Tell me I look like my brother again, especially when one or both of us is naked, and you won’t like the consequences.”

  “Are you threatening me?” I sat up on my elbows.