by Lois Richer
It was a prospect he had to deal with. He knew how easily that could happen. His father hadn’t wanted to leave his son the memories he carried. At least, Gabe told himself that, hoping it was true. But Daniel, Sr., hadn’t been able to accept the son he’d fathered, either. Gabe simply didn’t fit the baseball and fishing mold his father had set.
In fact, Gabe hated sports. All he’d ever wanted was to create things, to build things. To use his brain. Being sent to his room in punishment had provided hours of solitude to do just that.
“I won’t force Daniel to be a replica of me,” he assured his tired brain. “He doesn’t have to like computers. If he wants to fish, I’ll fish. I can learn that stuff. The company’s okay, now. I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need. I owe it to myself to take some time off—to see if Blair and I can make a go of it.” He thought about Mac’s letter. Why had it arrived when it had? Was God giving him a second chance?
“I owe it to him to do better than my dad did for me.”
Which shouldn’t be hard, given the past.
You owe him love.
That word sent a shiver of worry through his brain. Love? Gabe didn’t think he had it in him. Not the kind of love the songs were about, the kind of love he’d read about in stories and poems. Certainly not the emotion that required you to give away everything you valued for the sake of someone else, the kind of love that made you vulnerable and weak, prey to others.
“He doesn’t need to see that part of me,” Gabe told himself. “He’ll never know about that. I’ll make sure of it.”
But as he lay in his hotel room thinking about a black-haired little boy and his too solemn mother, Gabe wondered how he’d keep that shriveled-up, scared part of himself locked away when he’d spent such a large part of his life wondering where the next con to get his money would come from.
“One day at a time,” he reminded himself. “With God’s help, I’ll face this one day at a time. That’s what Pastor Jake said on Sunday.”
Surely if you kept your eyes on the future, you couldn’t get caught up in the past?
“Daniel’s my only chance to make amends,” he whispered, eyes closed as he prayed for help. “At least if I mess up, and I probably will, I know that Blair will make sure my son gets all the love he needs. He won’t end up like me.”
Please, God, don’t let him end up all alone like me.
Chapter Three
I don’t understand how You could do this to me, God. Mac’s always loved me, I know he has. Why did he have to find Gabe, send him that letter, stir things up? Why couldn’t he have left well enough alone? Why did You let it happen?
Days later, and it was still a silly question! Blair knew the answer, at least the one Mac had given this morning when she’d asked.
“I’m old, honey. Some days I get tired and feeling down. I miss your gran, God rest her soul. Lots of times, all I want is to go to Heaven and rest, talk to God about things, give Myrtle a hug and kiss. But I couldn’t ever die peacefully if I thought you and Daniel weren’t cared for. It wouldn’t be right.”
“We’re fine, Grandpa. We’re managing really well now. I have the business and it’s growing, Willie’s doing better with those new pills and Albert hasn’t had anything to drink since a year ago at Christmas.”
Mac had snorted derisively. “Ha! You’re lying to yourself, Busy Bee. We’re scraping by and just barely doing that. What happens if the bees don’t produce their usual this year? Or if some of those orders get canceled? We’ll be in hot water then, and no mistake.” He’d patted the pocket that held his bankbook with smug satisfaction. “At least this way I can be sure you’ll have a nest egg to fall back on, and you’ve got the right to leave your hives in place for the next three years. He paid a lot for that land, you know.”
“He can afford it. And that’s a bunch of baloney, Grandfather! You’re as healthy as a horse! Selling that land to Gabe was just a way to manipulate him into finding out about Daniel, and you know it. I thought you loved us more than that.”
She fixed him with a stern look, but Mac didn’t back down.
“It’s because I love you two so much that I did it. You and Daniel need Gabe. And he needs a chance to be the boy’s father. He’s ready to move ahead with his life. Leaving the city and that company prove that. I think he’s changed.”
“You don’t know that, Mac. Gabe takes the company wherever he goes. And he doesn’t want to be a father, not at all. It’s just a duty thing.” She shut off the piercing memory of that moment, that one single second of pure joy when he’d looked, really looked at Daniel, fully acknowledged that the child was part of him. She’d hoped to argue her case more fully. But Mac had shrugged and walked away.
Reality intruded as Blair dipped another taper into the wax and watched while it drizzled off, knowing that she was spoiling its finish by waiting so long. But today, business just didn’t seem as important. She had to figure out what to do, decide how she was going to explain to Daniel that Gabe wouldn’t be his father. Not ever.
“After all, he’s had more than seven days to accept the idea. And he hasn’t called, hasn’t even spoken to Daniel. What kind of a father is that?”
No kind of father at all. Which was exactly why she’d never told Gabe about her son. He hadn’t wanted to be a father, that much she was clear on. If she’d doubted it then, watching him avoid the children she worked with in her spare time would have been enough. And there were his words over the phone that last awful morning. I’ll never be a father. The idea was repugnant to him!
The phone pealed a summons. “Hey, Blair!”
“Clarissa? How are you?” Blair grinned as she envisioned her formerly thin college buddy now hugely pregnant with the twins she’d been told to expect.
“I’m big, okay? Enough said.” Clarissa’s normally sweet voice halted, then continued. “I just read something I thought you might be interested in. Gabriel Sloan has handed over management of his company to a group of vice presidents.”
Blair gulped, then nodded. “He’s here, Pris. Mac sold him a piece of land, and he’s apparently going to build a house on it. Some kind of castle affair, if the rumors are true.”
Clarissa’s voice wavered quietly down the wire. “Does he know?”
“About Daniel? Yeah, he knows.”
Clarissa’s mutter of protest left no room for doubt. She was mad. “They don’t let women as big as me fly, Blair Delaney, but if you don’t spill the beans, I’ll sic Briony on you. And you know how inquisitive she is.”
Blair giggled at the reminder of their friend and former college roomie, the third in their group who had also been dumped by her sweetheart. Bri had a scientist’s mind. She liked the facts laid out clearly and concisely. She never accepted “no” for an answer.
“Nice try, Pris. But you can’t. Bri’s off somewhere in the Canadian Rockies doing the last bit of research for her thesis.” Blair unplugged the kettle and poured herself a cup of hot water, dipping the lemon mint tea bag in and out rhythmically for several moments.
“I see.”
Blair waited, a tiny smile nudging the corner of her lips. Clarissa didn’t disappoint her.
“Wade? I’ll need the van. I’m going on a little trip to see an old college buddy who’s trying to hold something back.”
“No, you are not traveling, Clarissa Featherhawk! You’re staying right there.” A mutter of threats rumbled across the line. “All right, already! Gabriel Sloan arrived a few days ago. He’s staying in the hotel in Teal’s Crossing and he’s tearing up my land as we speak. That’s all I know.”
“Is he still as good looking?”
Blair closed her eyes, took a deep breath and admitted the truth. “Yes.” She let her mind brood on the ultra short raven’s wing hair, the hard jawline, the full mocking lips.
“Does he still have those glacial green meltwater eyes?” Clarissa demanded. “I’ve never seen eyes that could turn such an aquamarine color. He used to make my knees sha
ke when he looked at me.”
Still does, Blair wanted to yell. She quelled that schoolgirl response.
“I never understood why his Hollywood buddies didn’t offer him a job. He’s every woman’s dream man.” Clarissa giggled. “Except mine, of course. Wade’s the one I dream of.”
“Lucky Wade.” Blair covered a rush of feelings by asking Clarissa innumerable questions about her pregnancy, her husband of almost one year, her readymade family. Anything to keep the talk off of Gabe.
“You’re stalling, Blair. Trying to throw me off the scent. That’s always a good sign. I guess I’d better let you go so you can think about Gabe some more.” Clarissa chuckled at her mumbled protest. “Keep me posted,” she ordered before she rang off.
“As if there’s anything to keep her posted on!” Blair said to herself. She emptied her cold tea into the sink and concentrated on work.
“So this is where you’re hiding out?”
Blair whirled, shocked as much by the low, amused tones as by the sound of his rich, full voice echoing among the rafters of her bee barn.
“I wasn’t hiding,” she disagreed. “I have work to do. Unlike some people I could mention. Are all the little peons at Polytech too busy to miss you, Gabe?” She got back to dipping.
He didn’t take offense. Instead he walked up and watched what she was doing.
“If you want the truth, they don’t want me there anymore,” he told her, a mocking smile tilting his lips. “It seems that I’m bad for their thinking. Their productivity goes way up when the boss isn’t hovering around.” He watched as her hands suddenly became busier with a series dipper that held six wicks. “I didn’t know you sold dipped candles, too. Can I try that?”
Blair frowned, but after studying his face, she found no hint of mockery. He looked genuinely interested in her work.
“I suppose.” She showed him how to dip the wicks, then turn and redip to get the multicolored effects her customers loved.
Gabe tried several, lips pursed in concentration as he perfected the action. When she could stand the silence no longer, Blair took the rack out of his hand and set it aside.
“What do you really want, Gabriel?”
“I want my son.”
Blair knocked the rack on the floor, completely ruining all her work. She ignored the mess and the expense as she stared at him, searching for an answer in his unfathomable stare. The words rocked her to the core of her being. Why, when she’d known it would come to this?
“You want Daniel? But you don’t even know him!” She glared at him, daring him to deny it. “He’s a little boy who’s only ever known this place as his home. What kind of a father would rip him away from the only family he knows?” She chewed him out with her eyes, letting him see the contempt in them.
Gabe stayed where he was, his eyes watchful, swirling and slumbering with hidden menace as they studied her. “I don’t want to take him away from you, Blair. I know how much you mean to him. I lost my own mother when I was young. I know what that’s like.”
She frowned. What did that mean, and why was he suddenly opening up now? He’d never given her much insight into his past when they were engaged.
“I came to ask you something,” he murmured at last.
“Go ahead. I reserve the right to refuse an answer.” She wouldn’t let him see her fear. Please help me, God. Don’t let him take Daniel.
“Will you marry me?”
Blair wanted to laugh. Or cry. Something. Her eyes studied him, shocked by his quiet words. “Marry you? Why, for goodness sake?”
He looked innocent enough, his hands hanging at his sides, his feet crossed at the ankles as he leaned against the workbench in his natty designer clothes. Blair knew the pose was a disguise to conceal his thoughts. What was he planning?
“Why? Hmm.” He frowned for a few minutes, then smiled at her, his eyes lighting up in the teasing glint she’d almost forgotten. “To keep a promise I made once, over six years ago.”
“What promise?” She kept her gaze trained on him, refusing to fall for the diversion. “You never actually proposed. I did that, I think. You said okay.” She looked away from his eyes, noticed the wax hardening on the floor. She bent to scrape it off the tiles, glad to avoid the speculation in his curious stare as the heat of a blush burned her cheeks.
“Maybe I didn’t actually say the words, but I led you to believe that’s what I wanted, too. Now it’s pay-up time. So will you please marry me?” He waited till she’d straightened, then held out a black velvet box, and when Blair didn’t take it, snapped it open to reveal a glittering marquise diamond set on a narrow gold band.
“Please, Blair?”
Blair’s breath got tangled up in her throat, and she couldn’t draw fresh air into her lungs. She stared at the gorgeous ring and wondered how he’d known she had always loved that particular setting. It wasn’t what he’d chosen last time.
“I’m building a house, a home. That’s why I bought that land from your grandfather. I’d planned to move here anyway. I’m leaving Los Angeles. For a while, at least.”
“Why?” Her voiced croaked, her disbelief echoing around the room.
Gabe shrugged, but she could see him closing up against her probing, hiding his thoughts away, just as he’d always done. “Because I need to regroup, get a new game plan, figure out where I’m going from here.”
She snickered, tossing the lump of misshapen wax into the garbage. “Yeah, right! You’ve always known that, Gabriel. Straight to the top. Business first. The biggest, the best, the brightest. That’s always been your focus.”
“It was,” he admitted quietly. “But lately, it just doesn’t mean as much. I feel like I’m missing something.”
“So by marrying me, latching onto my son, you’ll fill in some piece of your life that you didn’t know existed seven years ago?” She shook her head, her ponytail flopping from side to side. “I don’t think so. Thanks anyway, but we don’t need your pity.”
“It isn’t like that.” He sighed, leaning his narrow hips against her counter. He set the ring on the workbench as if it didn’t matter a whit to him whether it got lost in the wax kettle or not. “Besides, he’s my son, too. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
There was something in his voice, some plaintive yearning that made her stop fiddling with the wax and look at him.
“Would you have believed me?” she murmured. She could have wept at the hurt that darkened his eyes and made his lips pinch together. But it couldn’t stop the questions.
“Can you guarantee that you wouldn’t have tried to take him away or talk me into giving him up for adoption?” She made herself continue in spite of the torture contorting his handsome features. “You said you never wanted a child.”
“That was before I knew, before I realized….” He stopped, brushed a hand across his eyes, scuffed a polished toe against the floor. “Maybe I’m just not saying this right.”
Unreasoning anger flooded her.
“You’ve said everything you need to say. You’ve done your duty, Gabe. Don’t worry, I’ll tell Mac you offered. But no, I won’t marry you so you can try out your hand at playing father.” She saw his mouth tighten and hurried on.
“Daniel is the most important thing in the world to me. I love him, and I won’t let you hurt him. You don’t want a gold digger for a wife, or the encumbrance of a child in your life. Remember?”
When he winced at the repetition of his own words, Blair felt a stab of shame. But she wouldn’t take them back. Daniel was too important to be used as a pawn, no matter how much she’d once cared for this man. She would not weaken, wouldn’t let him see that she’d never given up the dream of a husband, and a home where she was the most important person in her husband’s world.
“You’re turning this around, Blair. Making it ugly. And that’s not what I’m saying. I want us to be a…a family.”
“Why?” She pressed him for an answer, knowing he wouldn’t have one. Gabriel Sloan had
never wanted any encumbrances in his solitary life. Things couldn’t have changed that much.
“Because he’s my son and I owe it to him,” he said, exploding, mouth tight, eyes hard as emeralds. “And because you’re his mother and I owe you, too. I should never have…never mind that.” His cheeks darkened.
So he felt guilty for that one night of indiscretion? Blair smiled bitterly. Well, it was as good a reason as any to suggest marriage, she supposed. It just wasn’t her reason, not the one she’d dreamed of, anyway. Not when she remembered her grandparents’ marriage, and from what Mac said, her parents had been happy, too.
“So tell me, Gabe, just how would this marriage work?” She’d string him along, pretend she would go along with it. For a while. It would be interesting to note just how far the great Gabriel Sloan was willing to go with this experiment at nobility.
But in the end she would turn him down cold. Daniel was her son, and she intended him to feel the love in his life. Gabe didn’t believe in love, and she couldn’t forget that.
“Blair?”
She glanced up, then at his hand on her arm. Though he moved it immediately, Blair was only too aware of his touch and her reaction to it. How could she still feel this way? Especially now.
“I want the very best for Daniel,” she began, trying to focus the conversation and direct it where she wanted it to go. “I know how much he’s wanted a father. Especially lately. He keeps asking me about you, where you are, what you do, what you’re like.”
Gabe’s face whitened. “He knows I’m his father?” His eyes were huge, his hands tight with tension as they clenched and unclenched at his side. “What have you told him?”
“He doesn’t know you are his father.” Blair fiddled with a tray of glitter that would accent the Christmas candles. “He doesn’t know anything about his father. I’ve never said a thing.”
“Then how—”
“They’ve been doing a series of projects at school about families.” Blair shrugged at his frown. “This is a little community. Daniel knows the families of the kids in his class. He’s seen two parents, a happy home, siblings. Some of the kids like to brag about their fathers.” She shrugged. “I don’t suppose his teacher thought of him as any different when they started on their family study unit.”