Besides, I do want to be friends.
Always.
“Peyton, we’re friends. Nothing is going to change that.”
“Not even a couple experiments, right? And maybe we just needed to get that out of our systems?” Her tone is lighter now. Gone is the trembling lip, the knot of emotions. Maybe I imagined them.
“Considering it was ten years in the making, we might need to get it out of our systems more than once.”
Her eyebrows wiggle. “Good point. Once for every three point three three years?”
I laugh to cover up the hole in my heart. “So, two more experiments and we’re all clear?”
She taps her chin, like she’s deep in thought. “Sounds about right.”
Sounds like all I’ll get.
And since I’m still starving, I’ll take what I can get for now. I’ll take one more kiss for the road too. I move in closer, cup her cheeks, and kiss her, trying to tell her with my lips all the things I can’t and won’t say.
I want so much more of you.
Once will never be enough.
Don’t break my heart.
As my lips sweep over hers, she melts against me, kissing me back like she’s saying all the same things.
But I’m probably just imagining it.
When I break the kiss, I make my best effort to zoom in on the task at hand. “So, doctor of romance novels, what tests are we running next?”
Maybe I’ve finally said the right thing, because she smiles at me, all flirty and coy again. “I have two things in mind.”
“Do tell.”
She stands on tiptoes, whispers in my ear, and I groan as the flash of images in my mind turns wildly pornographic.
“Same time tomorrow?” she asks.
“Yes.” I turn away from her, grab my jeans and shirt, and get dressed.
She taps on my shoulder, looking like a naughty vixen. “But we didn’t finish tonight’s test. I know you need to go, but this is all in the name of romance science.”
“Science is cool,” I say as she scurries to her bureau, grabs a pair of lacy panties, and pulls them on. She tugs up her shirt, showing me a sexy pair of skimpy black panties. My dick jolts back to skyscraper levels.
“I love science,” I say as she leans against the wall.
I stalk over to her, get down on my knees, grab her ass, and bite into the waistband of her panties. I yank them off in one move, as she yelps from the tear of the fabric.
I stare at the lace tatters on the floor, and then at her face wearing an expression of utter delight.
She snaps a photo of the carnage for her blog.
But when I leave, I keep thinking the lace won’t be the only thing ripped to pieces when this experiment runs its course.
23
Peyton
The Lingerie Devotee: Definitely Do This at Home
Blog entry
I can’t believe I am writing this.
I feel like such a traitor.
An utter turncoat to all I hold dear in the world of lingerie. But I suppose I must do what all good bloggers do at some point.
Come clean.
It is my turn now to confess, and as much as I should hang my head in shame, I refuse to.
Because, ladies and gents, having your lover tear off your panties with his teeth is exquisitely erotic.
Even if it breaks my heart to see this little darling in shreds. These lacy numbers are delicate. Luckily I held up intact, without a tear or a scratch. But they didn’t. See? Look what became of my sexy black lace panties.
How could I do this to them?
Yet there is something deliciously carnal in this scenario. It’s animalistic in a way—tearing off someone’s underthings with your bare teeth. And that’s what works about the scene. Sure, it can be a bit camp if you let it. But if you set the mood, play the right music, and wear something sensual, then you just might find yourself aroused in all new ways.
Now, to be clear, I’m not simply saying this so you’ll come to my shop and buy more panties.
I’m saying this because I want you to feel as good as I felt last night.
Everyone should feel as good as I felt. Last night was the pinnacle of sensations.
And if you decide to reenact this particular scene, do follow this piece of advice: commit.
Have your lover get on his knees, grab your rear, and then treat your panties like a piece of steak.
Trust me on this.
Because chances are, your pleasure won’t end there. It’ll last all night long.
Xoxo
The Lingerie Devotee
Find me at You Look Pretty Today on Madison Avenue
24
Peyton
I toss the birdie into the air, raise my racket, and serve it over the net. It soars. My mom lunges for it, smacks it back. I dive for the prize, whacking it underhand and up over the net again.
Fast and furious as always, she reaches for it and lobs it to me.
Back and forth we go for another several minutes until she misses.
I thrust my arms in the air. “Badminton champion in da house!”
She rolls her green eyes. “Yes, as a former high school badminton winner, you should take pride that you can beat your fifty-five-year-old mother.”
I tut her. “Mom. You’re fifty-six.”
She swats me on the butt with her racket. “And there are ten more spankings where that came from if you say my age again.”
“Oh please, you don’t look a day over fifty-five.”
Her racket connects with my rear again as we leave the badminton court, wishing good luck to the next pair ready to tackle the sport.
“You are a most impudent child,” she says.
“I’m the worst.” I shrug happily. Because I am happy. Happily counting down the hours till I see Tristan again.
Six hours and fifteen minutes. Tonight can’t arrive soon enough, but at the same time, I’m more wary than I was before. Because I don’t know where we stand. I couldn’t read him, couldn’t tell what he wanted, if he was feeling the same new and wondrous connection I was.
Does he only want to be friends with benefits? Friends who needed to get a little lust out of their systems?
Part of me fervently wishes he felt more. But anything more is too risky, so I shouldn’t even contemplate such possibilities.
“You okay? You drifted off there,” Mom asks, breaking my reverie as we exit the badminton club.
“Of course,” I say, quickly collecting my thoughts. “Just thinking about an order I placed this morning. For a second, I thought I forgot something in it,” I say, fashioning a cover-up for my wandering mind.
“Is business going well with this new blog series? I know it’s early days, but can you tell?”
“There is definitely an uptick in sales,” I say with a smile as we head to our favorite cafe for Sunday lunch. “It definitely seems to be helping bring a little more attention to the shop. Even Jay and his wife are getting into it,” I say, mentioning my brother.
“Your brother is wearing lingerie now? To each his own.”
I laugh. “Who knows? But check out this text from him.”
Jay: In case you’re wondering, the guy who placed the order for three new bustiers this morning was me.
Peyton: You’re going to look so pretty in that leopard print one especially.
Jay: Thanks. I was hoping it’d match my skin tone.
Jay: Also, they’re for Holly.
Peyton: Yeah, I figured. What with them being a petite and all. Unless you planned to wear the bustier on your leg.
Jay: Make that your next blog post. Unusual uses for lingerie.
Peyton: Maybe you should write it for me.
Jay: I’ll have it to you this evening. No photos though.
Peyton: Consider that a general rule of thumb for you, dear brother of mine.
Jay: Duly noted. Also, rush shipping please. As in overnight.
Peyton: They’re alrea
dy with Fedex. Good luck making babies!
Jay: Was it that obvious?
Peyton: Yes.
I close the text app. “Maybe you’ll have grandkids soon, thanks to my blog.”
She gazes heavenward and clasps her hands. “Please let my daughter’s blog inspire my son to give me grandkids to spoil.” Then she looks to me. “I’m glad the blog is working so well. It’s hard to look away from it, after all. You’re really putting it all out there.”
I turn to meet her gaze as we reach the next block, curious what she means. “I am?”
“Yes, it’s incredibly open and honest. Readers and customers are connecting with that, I imagine.” She squeezes my shoulder. “I have to wonder if Tristan is too. He must be.”
I tense. “How should he connect with it?”
She stops outside the cafe. “How do you want him to connect with it? That’s the question.” Her eyes lock with mine, overwritten with motherly wisdom.
I swallow roughly. “Mom . . . is it obvious?”
She smiles softly, petting my hair. “That you have feelings for him?”
I wince, then admit the truth, since she’s seen through me already. “Yes.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” She wraps an arm around me and tugs me close. “It’s obvious to me because I know you so well. I know who you are, what you want, what you need.”
“And what is that?” I whisper.
“You want love. Great, beautiful, soul-searing love.”
“Mom, stop,” I say, as my heart catches in my throat. “That’s too much.”
She runs her fingers down my cheek. “You’ve always wanted that. And you’ve always trusted so easily. That’s why it hurt so much when Gage showed his true colors—because you did love him. You did trust him. And he broke everything that mattered to you.”
“He did.” But my voice doesn’t wobble this time because Gage is in the past. “But I’m over him. I’ve completely moved on.”
“I can tell completely,” she says with that sage look only a mom can give.
“How can you tell?”
“Because you’re falling for your best guy friend, and anyone who knows you the slightest bit can see it.”
I freeze as cymbals clang in my ears. As she bangs the gong. I could deny it. I could backpedal. But I am cellophane to her, and always have been.
“How?” I press. “How is it obvious?”
She looks to the blue sky, then recites my own words. “I’m saying this because I want you to feel as good as I felt last night. Everyone should feel as good as I felt. Last night was the pinnacle . . .”
“You can’t just quote me back to me.”
“But I can, and I did.”
“That was about—” I cut myself off before I say “sex” because I can’t just admit to my mom that we had sex.
She laughs deeply. “Wait! Do you think I couldn’t read between the lines? Sweetheart, I know you slept with him.”
My jaw drops, and I am the definition of aghast. “Mom!”
She waves off my outrage. “I don’t know that everyone else could tell you have feelings for him. But it seemed obvious to me.”
“It did?” I ask, worry striking a chord in my heart. Could he tell? “Do you think he knows?”
“I’m not sure. Men don’t always see what women see. And certainly not what mothers see. But I know you, and I’ve seen you with him. Like I said, there’s a vibe.” She pauses, searches my face. “But what did you think would happen when you decided to experiment like this with a man who’s longed for you for a long while?”
I jerk my head, like she’s speaking in limericks. “Longed for me?”
She sighs. “Peyton. You two—you have this thing.”
I shake my head, denying, vehemently denying. “It’s just chemistry, that’s all. He doesn’t want more. He said as much last night,” I say, recalling the punch to the heart at his words. You mean the world to me. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose our friendship.
That’s what matters most to him—keeping the status quo.
And it matters to me.
“And I don’t want to lose him,” I continue. “Mom, don’t you see? There’s too much at stake.”
She takes a deep breath, nodding. “What are you going to do, then? Stop these experiments?”
I glance away. “Yes, soon.”
She chuckles. “After you sleep with him again?”
I cover my ears. “Mom, stop talking about sex.”
She removes my hands from the sides of my head, laughing. “Sweetheart, be careful. Or be bold. But you can’t have both.”
But she’s wrong. I can be bold and I can be cautious. I know how to protect my heart, and it’s by using my head. Last night, Tristan and I set the boundaries for our explorations. We picked an end date. We decided on the agenda.
We used our heads.
There.
Besides, we both want the same thing—to come out on the other side the way we started.
I repeat my mantra in my head: Friendship and lingerie. Lingerie and friendship.
After we finish lunch, I say goodbye, then head to WildCare where I volunteer, helping them with their mission to rehab injured birds and other wildlife. As I clean the facility, I compose a series of text messages in my head to Amy, smiling to myself as I devise ways to needle her and wind her up.
Texting Amy will be a fantastic way to pass the time this afternoon.
When I’m done, I walk through the park, tapping out a message to her.
Peyton: Hey, girl! You know that bathing suit I was going to wear to test out bathtub sex?
Amy: The royal-blue bikini with the white stripe? That’s ghost-pepper hot, so be careful. You might ignite flames in the tub. Best for me to bring you a black Speedo and a bathing cap. Wait. You’ll still look good in a Speedo, you mermaid. New plan—I’m going to bring you one of those full-body bathing suits they wore in those old-timey shots.
Peyton: I’m wearing something besides a bathing suit tonight.
Amy: *waits with bated breath* *stares at phone* *googles waterproof clothing options* *decides a rain slicker that goes to your ankles is what you mean*
Peyton: Nothing. I’m wearing nothing.
Three, two . . .
And before I can count down to one, my phone rings.
“Explain yourself, and leave no dirty stone unturned. Must know everything,” she demands as I walk along the picturesque Terrace Bridge in the middle of the park, enjoying the early golds and bright reds of fall.
I smile, delighting in the memories of last night that are still wildly vivid. “We might have moved on to a new style of testing. Call it more hands-on research.”
She shrieks. “Where are you? I need to see you. I need to see your face as you share every gloriously filthy detail with me.”
“In the park.”
“What side?”
“Why? Are you going to triangulate me?”
“Yes. I bet you’re heading home after WildCare. I’m on the east side. I’ll meet you at that cake shop I like on Park Avenue. Be there in fifteen minutes, ready to divulge every salacious detail.”
“Cake shop you like? Ames, you’re going to need to narrow it down. You like every cake shop.”
“I am very picky with cake, and you know it. Meet me at the newest Sunshine Bakery. I will gather Lola, and you will be prepared to narrate a scandalous new tell-all.”
With a slice of chocolate cake and a cup of tea, I give my confession, but I don’t ask for absolution.
I don’t ask for anything, because right now, I’m still basking in the afterglow.
My friends, however, clearly want something.
“Well, what do you think?” I ask when I finish.
Lola fans a hand in front of her face. “I think I need to see who’s available tonight in my little black book. I might need to reenact your sex life.”
“Come to think of it, maybe I should hire you to write a hot new line of
naughty books,” Amy says, but quickly she clears her throat. “But, Peyton . . .”
Those two words hang heavily in the air, signaling advice to come. Warnings I don’t want to hear or heed.
“Guys, I’m fine,” I say, cutting off her words to the wise before they arrive.
“I didn’t even say anything yet,” Amy says, holding up her hands in surrender.
“Listen, my mother already warned me. Be careful and all that. I am careful, I swear. I promise,” I say, practically pleading with them to see this my way—the have my cake and eat it too way. “I just . . . want this. I know we can manage this. We made a plan. We’ll finish out the tests and return to friendship. We did this before. Don’t you remember?”
Lola furrows her brow, flinching. “You’re not actually comparing a kiss at a college dance to sleeping with him?”
“Yes. Yes, I am,” I say, because I have to. I have to see this the same way. No, I choose to. “We returned to friendship. It was no problem at that time. We’ll do it again.”
“That was different,” Lola says firmly. “That was one kiss. This is sex. And it sounds like it’s not just sex for either one of you.”
But that’s where she’s wrong.
It’s. Just. Sex.
It has to be.
That evening, I run a bath, drop in a bath bomb, and strip. I gave him a key last night, so right on time, he raps on the open bathroom door, walks into the steamy room, and finds me covered in bubbles, ready for the next test.
Sex and Other Shiny Objects (Boyfriend Material Book 2) Page 14
