Nights felt short and yet seemed to drag on. I’d get done on set after a full day’s work, and by the time I got back to the hotel it was close to nine o’clock. Since I had to be back in Los Angeles for the premiere of Bittersweet Memories in a few weeks anyway, they had sped up my schedule on Expectations to be sure they had all they needed from me. Most evenings, I stayed in the hotel room studying the next day’s scenes and doing character work since all the other cast had such a head start on me. Sometimes I’d go out to eat, but I hated going out alone and in the Toronto cold. Most of the time, I felt pretty secluded and alone.
Two days before I had to head back to L.A. Alicia called me.
“Hey sweet stuff,” she said when I answered the phone.
“Hey,” I replied. “How’s it going?”
“Oh fine,” she said casually. “I just wanted to call and see how it was going with you. How’s filming going?”
“Great. I like this cast.”
“But..?” she asked.
I sighed. She could always see right through me.
“But it’s not as special as Bittersweet Memories. I feel kinda lonely. Making friends hasn’t been quite so easy with such a rushed schedule.”
“Well, you’ll be fine. I’m sure they all think you’re wonderful. Besides, if you’re going to be getting a lot of work from here on out, you won’t make friends every time.”
“Yea, that’s true, I guess.”
“So…” she paused. “Have you heard from Gavin?”
“No, but he said he wouldn’t call me unless I called him, and I just haven’t known what to say. Or had the time.”
“Why didn’t you at least tell him you were in Canada?”
“How did you know I didn’t tell him?”
There was a pregnant pause on the other end of the line.
“Um,” she began. “Well, I met him.”
“What? When?” I said anxiously. Perhaps a little too anxiously.
“At your place.”
“Huh?” now I was confused.
“I went over there a couple days after you left to get the mail and whatnot and he was sitting outside your door. Waiting for you to come home.”
“Really? How was he?”
“You really want to know, Meg?”
Alicia had always been straightforward with me. I knew she wouldn’t make something up, even if it was what she thought I needed to hear.
“Yes, Alicia. Just tell me.”
“Absolutely miserable. He had to have been waiting for hours.”
“Why?”
“Are you seriously asking? Megs, he misses you. He went over there to try to talk to you, and when he saw you weren’t home, he decided to wait until you showed up. Pretty sure he’d still be sitting there if I hadn’t shown up and told him you were out of town.”
No one had ever done anything like that just to try to talk to me.
“What did you tell him?” I inquired.
“Just that you’re out of town, really. I let him in and gave him something to drink, but that’s all. He left a few minutes later. We didn’t talk for long. Oh, speaking of getting home I want to make sure I know what time your plane lands- noon, right?”
“Yea, around noon. Thanks for picking me up, by the way. I’ll buy you lunch.”
“Ha, you better! Big time working actress,” she joked. “Okay, well I’ll let you go. I’m sure you’ll want to get some sleep. See you the day after tomorrow.”
“Thanks. See you then.”
Thoughts of Gavin ran through my head. Maybe I should go see him when I got home. I felt a little remorse in the fact that I hadn’t tried calling or even texting him all these weeks. Though I didn’t really want to admit it, I missed him. My heart ached for him. Giving him a chance to at least explain the things he said is the least I could do.
Still, he hadn’t tried calling me since the day after the show aired. If he was so willing to wait outside my door, why hadn’t he tried to call me since then? It had been a couple of weeks ago since Alicia had talked to him, though, so who knows if he would even be willing to talk to me anymore. My stomach knotted at the thought of how awkward the premiere and subsequent promotional events for Bittersweet Memories was going to feel.
Pushing all my thoughts out, I stepped onto the balcony and let in the feeling of the frosty air on my skin. I took a deep breath and gazed out on the city as billions of sparkling lights gazed right back at me. It was a beautiful place, and my mind got lost as I took in the details of the nighttime skyline.
Two days later, I couldn’t believe how quickly the time had passed. My alarm went off early so I could get up and head for the airport. I was thankful I had wrapped earlier than I expected to the day before so I could pack all my stuff and get to bed at a decent hour. The only thing I regretted was not really having the time to see much of the gorgeous city I had been in for the better part of a month.
I was thankful that my flight from Toronto to LAX was direct. For most of the five and a half hours in the air, I slept. When the plane landed in LAX, it was the normal chaos I had remembered when I left. Alicia met me at baggage claim, and it was so refreshing to see a familiar face. I gave her a big hug, grabbed my bag from the carrousel, and we headed out to the parking lot.
“How was your flight?” Alicia asked.
“Fine, I guess.”
I looked over at Alicia as we walked. She was clearly holding in excitement, and looked as though she was about to burst with laughter.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Oh,” she said coyly. “Nothing. Well, something. You’ll see.”
When we got to her car, she popped open the trunk and I threw my bags in. I was feeling so tired, and I was very ready to go home and rest. Alicia walked around to the passenger side and held open the back door. She looked at me expectantly, but didn’t say a word.
“What?” I asked.
“Get in.”
“The back?”
“Yes. Just do it. You’ll be happier back there.”
I shrugged my shoulders and gave Alicia a quizzical look. She insisted, so I got in the back seat. What was waiting for me back there made me grin ear to ear, and I almost felt like a fool. But I didn’t care how I looked, because the elation in my soul tossed away any other feelings I could possibly have held. Sitting there beside me with the same goofy grin I had, was Gavin.
I threw myself into his open arms, and grasped on to him as tightly as I could. My emotion was leaking out of my eyes and leaving a small wet spot on his shirt.
“Gavin, I’m…” I started to say, but he pressed his lips firmly against mine before I could get another word in. As our lips pushed together, I didn’t even notice that Alicia had gotten in the driver’s seat and we were already heading down the road. His hands held mine, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Elation had swept over my entire body just in being back in his presence.
When we arrived at my apartment building, Alicia said goodbye and Gavin carried by bags up the stairs as she drove away. It was a little strange being here with him, since we had always been at his place, but it also felt really great to be home. Sleeping in my own bed would be wonderful.
We got inside and took my bags to the bedroom. I started to unpack and Gavin sat on the bed watching me. The silence felt relaxed, and yet there was an uncomfortable heaviness that I knew we needed to get out of the way.
“Gavin,” I said, breaking the stillness in the room. “I’m so sorry I haven’t called or anything the last few weeks. I was an idiot.”
“I’m sorry, too,” he said. “I just said the things my manager wanted me to say without thinking about how it would make you feel. I sort of just got into it, like I was supposed to be this single character and that guy just took over. Not a day has passed since doing that interview that I haven’t regretted it.”
I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him, kissing him lovingly. The feeling of being home stretched way beyond my physic
al location. Three weeks away, without saying one word to Gavin, had seemed perpetually unending.
“So what do we do now?” I asked.
“We’ve got three days until the premiere,” he said. “I say we just stay here together and enjoy the calm before the storm.”
“I mean about us. How long do we have to hide this?”
Gavin let out a sigh and slumped down on the bed.
“My manager says until after Bittersweet Memories is out of theaters, but then the other day he mentioned waiting until after the DVD release. It seems like he wants this to be a secret forever.”
I cuddled up next to Gavin and he put his arm around me, pulling me close.
“As long as I get to be with you,” I said. “Then I don’t care who does or does not know about us. I love you.”
Gavin kissed my forehead tenderly and squeezed me a little tighter. I hadn’t really considered how much stress this whole situation must be putting on him, and I felt so guilty for adding to it with my childish silent treatment. The weeks without him almost felt completely wasted, and I wished with all my being that I could take back what I had done. The thought of it made my eyes water, and tears found their way down my face.
“What’s wrong?” Gavin asked.
“It’s just… I was such a fool for not telling you where I was going. For not asking you to come with me, for not even calling you.”
“You have no idea how upset I’ve been with myself that I made you feel that you needed to push me away. I don’t think I’ve slept more than a few hours since you’ve been gone- the thought of hurting you broke me down inside. I’m so sorry for what I did to you, and what I said on that show.”
He wiped the tears away from my face, cradling my cheeks in his hands. My hand wandered to the back of his head, running my fingers through his luscious hair, and I pulled his face into mine and kissed him fiercely. His arms engulfed me, and I took a deep, refreshing breath.
As I looked into his glorious eyes, I undid the buttons on his shirt and exposed his torso. He looked so sexy with the open shirt draping loosely around him. I lifted myself up slightly as he pulled off my top, and when he leaned down to kiss me I felt the edges of his undone shirt tickle my sides. I put my hands under his shirt and enclosed my arms around him, feeling the warmth of his skin that I had missed so intensely.
I released my inhibitions as the magic in his fingertips poured onto my body while they wandered from one place to another. His hands slipped into the top of my pants and he pushed them down as I wriggled out of them. As I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants, he brushed my hair with his fingers, kissing my cheeks, jaw and neck.
It was so freeing to be back with him again, and with him in nothing but a loose shirt and me in nothing but my bra, the heat in the room was beginning to boil. Our desire for each other went far beyond the flesh, and in that sensual moment the rest of the world had disappeared. There was only him and only me- only us.
My legs moved apart and he glided himself soothingly inside of me. The slow rhythmic movement we made together could put any well-rehearsed dance to shame. All I felt was him- inside my body, in every inch of my heart, deep in the depths of my core, and in every crevice of my soul. This had become so much more than just sex- it was the joining of our spirits, and I had never felt a love grasp onto me so incredibly everlastingly.
The taste of his breath was absolutely delicious, and the sweet smell of his skin reminded me that this was not just a dream. His eyes looked into mine, shimmering with adoration and devotion. I lifted my head up and kissed him, biting his lip softly. Our breathing quickened, and I felt my body rising and lowering with his. My head rolled to one side, and he kissed my neck, making me arch with pleasure.
I moaned loudly. As I did, he started thrusting faster and harder, making me moan again and again, louder and louder. My hand reached up and grabbed his face gently. My lips parted softly and I breathily called his name out as my orgasm look over my body. Just as I was erupting inside with bliss, he quivered as he came, kissing me passionately as I felt him explode inside of me.
We lay beside each other, stroking each other’s faces and skin, talking about everything. I filled him in on my experience on the set of Expectations and he told me about the auditions he had gone on and a new role he had been offered. He made me laugh, and the last thing I remember before falling asleep was the precious feel of his kiss.
Though I’ve never been much of a girlie-girl, I do enjoy getting pampered from time to time. With the premiere of Bittersweet Memories just a couple hours away, my hair and make-up had been done professionally, and I felt beautiful. Getting into the dress was an event all in itself, and I had to ask Gavin to help me put it on.
With my dressed zipped, Gavin took my hand and twirled me around, looking at me from every angle.
“You look like a princess,” he said.
“Thank you,” I said. “But I feel like a fraud. I’m so nervous, and I’m not sure I belong on the red carpet. And I think this dress cost more than I usually make in six months!”
Gavin laughed. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re only borrowing it.”
That was something I had learned a few days ago about premieres- most actresses don’t buy those gorgeous gowns they sport during premieres and award shows. The majority of them are “borrowed” from the designer. This helps the designer gain exposure while the actress has a unique dress that she’ll only wear once. It felt so strange joining these ranks and wearing an elaborate designer dress and shoes.
Gavin looked absolutely dashing in his tuxedo. So suave and handsome, and not a string of clothing or piece of hair was out of place on him. I loved the way he looked in his tux- as charming as Clark Gable and as captivating as James Bond. I slid my hands up and down his arms and felt the smooth fabric of his jacket in my palms.
A knock came at Gavin’s front door startled me. Standing at the threshold was a well-dressed man, wearing a dark navy blue suit.
“Hello. Mr. Lowe and Miss Manning, right?” he asked.
“Yes,” Gavin said, reaching out to shake the man’s hand. “And you are?”
“I’m John, and I’m your driver for the evening. Are you ready to go?”
Gavin and I nodded and held each other’s hand as we walked out the door. John led us out into the driveway where a long black limousine was waiting for us. Outwardly, I was trying to be as calm as ever, but inwardly I was as giddy as a schoolgirl on the last day of classes!
John held the door open for me, and Gavin helped me inside. I scooted over and Gavin got in. The seats were so cushy I felt like I was almost sinking in. There was plenty of space in the back- I could hardly believe it was all just for us. John got in the front seat and made some small talk with Gavin as we drove to the venue. My palms started feeling sweaty, and I was getting more nervous as we got closer to the theater. Gavin rubbed my hand gently.
“Hey John, I don’t mean to be rude, but would you mind if we had a little privacy?”
“No problem, boss!” John said casually as he rolled up the privacy window.
“What’s wrong, Megan?” Gavin asked.
“I’m just getting really nervous. I’ll be fine, I hope.”
“You’ll be perfect,” he said as he kissed the back of my hand. “Everyone is going to love you.”
“I’m worried it’ll be like that night with the paparazzi.”
“There will be lots of press there, but they won’t be as vicious this time. It’ll be much more comfortable. There’s going to be some railing between us and them anyway, so you’ll do fine. And I won’t ever be too far.”
Gavin kissed me softly, holding me in his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to be careful about my hair, and relaxed against his body. The drive to the theater felt so long, and the anticipation was killing me inside. I don’t think I was even this nervous the first time I ever went to an audition.
When the limo stopped, I could hear the hubbub of the cro
wd outside. I peered out the tinted window and saw Sal and some of the other cast. It had been timed perfectly so that we would be the last to arrive.
“Ready for this?” Gavin asked.
“I guess I have no choice now.”
“You’ll do great,” Gavin said. His smile comforted me, and his confidence in me would suffice for the lack of my own for the time being.
John came around and opened the door. When Gavin stepped out, the crowd instantly exploded in excited roaring. He waved to the press and the fans, and I heard people screaming his name. Gavin turned around and offered his hand to me to help me out of the limo. When I got out, we were flooded with flashing lights and questions from reporters.
In my mind, I told myself that this was an easy thing to do. All I had to do was let some people take my picture and answer a few questions. Most of the questions were about what I planned to do next, how I liked the film, and what working with Sal was like.
Before too long, I had become much more comfortable. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I followed Gavin’s lead, bouncing back and forth between the press and the fans. It surprised me whenever someone in the crowd asked for my autograph and specifically used my name. I happily obliged, taking a little extra care and making note that I would need to practice signing my name until I got it just the way I wanted it to look. It was then that I realized people were not just calling out Gavin’s name- they were calling out mine, too. I shook hands and waved, asking people how they were and telling them I hoped they would like the movie.
I was really enjoying myself, letting myself relax and soak in the moment- I had no idea if I’d ever get this chance again. It wasn’t until I stepped back over to the press side and someone asked me about Gavin that I felt uneasy again.
Star Struck Page 5
