“Please don’t get me going.” He grabbed the soap and attacked his body with a vengeance. “We don’t have time for frisky tub antics. Save it for when your father isn’t coming.”
“Sometimes a little spontaneity would be good,” Miceral said while Farrell washed his face. Farrell rinsed the soap from his eyes and saw his lover leaning over to collect his fallen staff. He waited until Miceral had the rod firmly in his hand, then used his link to bring it and Miceral to the edge of the tub. Farrell completed the deed by pulling his off-balanced companion into the bath with him before kissing him deeply.
Miceral sputtered at first before letting himself enjoy the moment. The two rolled about, water going everywhere until Miceral stepped out of the tub, soaking wet. With no choice but to change, Miceral removed his clothing and climbed back into the still-agitated water. Despite the impending arrival of Horgon, they continued their playful exchange until they ran out of time.
All of Haven had already learned of Horgon’s proclivity for being early. With a few minutes to spare, the two raced about, laughing as they rushed to dry off. After dashing naked into the bedroom, they both managed to dress before Horgon arrived.
Miceral answered the door as Farrell went to clean up the soaked bath chamber. A wave of his hand returned the water on the floor to the tub. Next, he gathered his staff and the wet clothing and passed the black wood over the sopping garments. Once they were dry, he emptied the tub and sent the clothes to his closet to be sorted out after Horgon left.
Running his hand through his still-damp hair, he took a deep breath and made his way to the formal sitting room. Horgon stood beside his son, a glass of wine in hand. Farrell smiled at seeing them together. So much had changed since the day the three met.
“Horgon, sorry to keep you. It took me a bit longer than expected to get ready.” He ignored Miceral to keep from blushing.
“From what Miceral tells me, you had a busy afternoon. Baylec’s not known as an easy instructor.” Horgon plucked a third glass from the table and handed it to Farrell. “He and I were boys together much longer ago than I care to admit. Among our people, his skills were legendary until his star pupil eclipsed him.”
Miceral suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Father, we really don’t need to go into this in front of Farrell. I’m sure he’s already suitably impressed with me as it is.”
“It’s true, Horgon, Miceral’s very impressive, especially wet.” He cocked an eyebrow at Miceral, and the two burst into laughter. Horgon joined them, even if he didn’t understand the joke.
Fortunately, the food arrived before he could ask. Farrell conjured a table, and the pages quickly set up for dinner. They set the cart on the side and left with a bow.
Dinner turned out differently from what Farrell expected. Horgon never talked about governing Haven. Instead, he regaled them with tales of the mischief he and Baylec had gotten into as youths. Miceral made a smart comment about his father’s antics and soon found himself the new subject of conversation. For the next several minutes, Horgon related several not-so-flattering tales of Miceral the boy. Miceral accepted the punishment, even filling in details where his father missed them. Amid the laughter and Miceral shouting not to tell this tale or that, the three managed to eat most of the food and drink three bottles of wine.
“This was unfair of me. I told you all Miceral’s most embarrassing moments, and we have none to embarrass you with.” Horgon’s comment changed Farrell’s mood instantly. Horgon’s smile lasted a moment longer. Then he fell silent as Farrell stared beyond the other two.
“My childhood holds no tales of childish antics or fond camaraderie.” Farrell’s voice bordered on cracking, but he didn’t pause to let the others stop him. “After Meglar was driven from Yar-del, my mother sent me to Haven. I was two years old at the time. Mother stayed in Yar-del in a doomed attempt to repair the damage my father caused. Not only did Meglar steal Yar-del’s energy, his actions caused my grandfather’s health to decline. The damage to the Source echoed back on Grandfather. Mother became queen not long after I left.
“I mostly grew up here. Trying to hide in various unoccupied areas was the closest thing I had to high antics. It didn’t take long for even a headstrong youngster like me to realize no one successfully hid from Heminaltose in Haven.”
He chuckled at the image of his master using seeking spells to find his wayward student. Neither Miceral nor his father attempted to stop him, so he continued.
“At the age of seven, I began my training in earnest. Prior to that time, I learned the basic things any young ruler might be taught: reading, math, history, and science. Somewhere in this complex is a room I sealed off years ago. It contains many of the things I had as a youth: my first staffs, small enough for a child; old schoolbooks; pint-sized equipment for spell casting; and all the other things a child wizard needed. No toys, no children’s books, none of that. Heminaltose didn’t have time for a child or child’s fun. I sealed it shortly after he died.
“Since I’d been sent here to hide from my father, no one told me Queen Zenora was my mother for years. They needed to make sure I understood the importance of keeping it a secret before they told me. Evidently, when Heminaltose took me from Yar-del, I screamed and cried for my mother in front of the household staff. Mother cried for days over the separation. Rumors circulated that Bren ordered the death of Meglar’s spawn and had Heminaltose carry it out. They changed my name from Halloran to Farrell and didn’t tell me until they deemed me ready to know the truth.”
The flood of emotions threatened to overwhelm him, but he refused to give in. Nothing could change the past. Why waste the energy on tears?
“I first visited Yar-del when I was twelve. I didn’t learn the truth of my birth until we returned to Haven. Heminaltose waited until after I had a chance to meet my mother before telling me. He said I needed time to process the information before I could see her again. If I suffered, Mother suffered worse. She couldn’t acknowledge me even in private until everyone felt I could be trusted. She and I had so little time together in the end.
“The rest is well-recorded. She and Heminaltose died on the walls of Yar-del when I was seventeen. I returned here with the remains of Yar-del’s royal house and Heminaltose’s personal effects. Sanduval met me when I arrived, and we continued my training. My childhood, such as it was, contained no funny stories, no happy memories. Only a sense of duty and a sense of loss.” Farrell stood up as tears refused to stay back. He turned away so they couldn’t see him cry.
Horgon stood up and went over to him. “Farrell, I’m sorry, more sorry than I can say. I was cruel to you and Miceral at first, because I couldn’t accept that what Lenore had chosen for my son was not what I wanted. Despite that, you gave me a position of trust so that I could still work to protect my people. You’re a better man than I.”
Horgon placed both hands on Farrell’s shoulders and gently turned him around until they were facing each other. “I know my blessing doesn’t matter when Lenore and Honorus have already given you Theirs, but for what it’s worth, you both have my approval. I can’t imagine anyone else for my son than you.”
Farrell collapsed, sobbing, into Horgon’s arms. Horgon pulled him tight, letting him cry against his tunic. “The path that brought you to today has been hard. When Miceral’s mother died, I felt in a small part how you must have felt. She was loving, caring, smart, and beautiful. It was hard for Miceral and me, but we had each other and found a way to move past the pain. We are your family now. Let us help you move past your hurt.”
When he finally gained control of his emotions, Farrell wiped his nose on his sleeve and stepped back. “Horgon, I’m sorry I acted this way in front of you. It’s unbecoming, and I have no explanation. Please accept my apology.”
“Farrell, there is nothing to be embarrassed about.” Horgon retrieved a napkin and gave it to him. “It was long overdue for you to let it out. I meant what I said about being part of the family. Family is there in tim
es of grief. What happened tonight will remain between us.”
Miceral moved to Farrell’s side and pulled him closer. When he felt a kiss on his cheek, Farrell smiled. “Can I kill a festive time, or what?”
“Father’s right.” Miceral used a thumb to wipe a tear from Farrell’s cheek. “For good or bad, we’re your family now. It’s been a long day. How about you go lie down?”
Miceral tried to guide him toward the bedroom, but Farrell stopped them before they could exit.
“Thank you, Horgon. What you said and did means more than I can put into words. Being a son of yours would be my honor.” This time he let Miceral take him to their bedchamber. He removed his boots, then flopped on the bed and turned away.
Miceral slipped behind him and kissed the back of his head. “Rest here while I see Father out.”
Farrell nodded but felt alone when Miceral shut the door behind him. Making his way into the bath chamber, he heard Miceral and Horgon speaking, but he couldn’t make out the words. He quickly cleaned his teeth, undressed, and slid under the covers.
Stuck in that half-awake, half-asleep state, he felt Miceral climb in bed next to him. Without thinking, he snuggled closer, and a strong arm wrapped around him in response. Miceral said something he didn’t catch. It didn’t matter. He knew Miceral loved him. What more did he need to know?
FARRELL WOKE first the next morning, surprising even himself. Lying on his side, he stared at Miceral sleeping peacefully next to him. Recalling the previous night’s events, his calm, peaceful morning evaporated. He’d embarrassed himself, crying in front of Horgon over something that happened ten years ago. Miceral would never want to spend their lives together now.
He loved Miceral beyond anything he thought possible, but it wasn’t enough. Miceral needed him to be more than a child, more than someone who couldn’t control his emotions. Last night he’d shown himself to be weak and pathetic, the silly, soft human Horgon declared him when they met. Miceral deserved someone as strong and beautiful as himself. Instead he got a plain, weak, damaged wizard.
The mere thought he might lose Miceral brought tears to his eyes. His heart pounded so hard he feared he’d wake his partner. Breathing deeply, he blinked the tears away. If Miceral wanted to go, he wouldn’t stop him. He had no right.
Miceral stirred, so Farrell forced a smile.
“Wow, this is a surprise.” Miceral propped a pillow under his head, leaving them a few inches apart. “You wide awake, smiling, waiting for me. I could get used to this.” He leaned in and gave Farrell a small kiss on the cheek.
The emotions that bubbled just below Farrell’s control threatened to explode. Clamping down on his feelings, he kept himself calm.
“I love you.” The words tumbled out before he could stop them. He had wanted to say it for the first time in better circumstances, but this could—would—be his last chance.
Eyes wide, Miceral gave him a face-splitting grin. “Wow, I definitely like waking up like this.”
Farrell put aside Miceral’s reaction. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I wanted to tell you. If you leave, I won’t stop you, but I needed to say it before you go.”
Miceral’s smile faded into a near-frown. He was no doubt reliving last night’s breakdown. Unable to bear seeing the disappointment in Miceral’s face, Farrell rolled over, reaching out to open the permanent Door in the far corner.
“Farrell, stop. What are you talking about?”
The rustle of sheets set Farrell hurrying around the bed. If Miceral expected him to head to the bath chamber, he could make it to the Door. Silently, he opened the portal and had almost stepped through when Miceral grabbed him from behind.
“What’s wrong? Why are you trying to get away from me? Why would I want to leave because you love me? I love you too.”
Farrell struggled to get away. Against anyone but Miceral, he’d have used magic to escape.
“Wizard, what are you doing?” Nerti’s voice struck him like an anvil. “Klissmor tells me that Miceral is in a panic because you’re trying to get away from him. What has he done?”
“Not what he’s done, it’s what I did or what I’m not.”
“Foolish boy.” He could feel her presence in his mind, rooting around his thoughts.
“Farrell, talk to me, please!” Miceral’s arms tightened around Farrell’s torso.
“Either you talk to him or I’ll clamp down on your mind so hard you won’t be able to blink.” As if to prove she could, Nerti forced him to stop struggling.
“Okay, I’ll talk to him, but I’m coming to see you after we’re done.”
Nerti’s annoyance seeped through their link. “I don’t recall saying you were welcome.”
A snap severed their connection, leaving him alone with Miceral. Short, shallow, rapid breaths slowly gave way to more normal behavior. Once he calmed himself, he realized he was naked.
Fool indeed. Where was I going like this? Knowing Nerti would make good on her threat, he slowly brought his arms up to clasp Miceral’s. “You can let go of me, Ral. I won’t disappear.”
Miceral scooped him up and carried him to the bed. “Please talk to me?”
Turning, Farrell saw a pained, sad expression on Miceral’s face. He’d caused this too. When he nodded, Miceral slid next to him and pulled the sheets up to their waists.
“What just happened? First you say you love me; then you bolt like a rabbit from a fox. What did I do?”
“You?” He shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s what I did. What I’m not.”
“What does that mean?”
“Miceral….” Swallowing hard, he fought back the tears. “Your father was right when he first saw me. I am soft, weak. Ten years ago something bad happened, and I’m still crying. I act like my childhood was so bad. Tell that to the kids with no parents because my father stole them and turned them into monsters. Compared to that, my life’s been grand.”
“Farrell—”
“Please.” He put a finger to Miceral’s lips. “If you stop me now, I probably won’t finish.”
Waiting until he saw the small nod, he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.
“You mean everything to me, but I know you deserve better, so much better. I’m sorry I’m not the person you deserve. I saw… saw how you frowned moments ago when you remembered last night. Not what you waited seventy-five years for, is it? You don’t have to stay. Go find someone better.”
“Enough.” Miceral sat up, tossing the sheet off. “What madness grips you? Ashamed? Of you? Where did you get such an idea?”
Farrell opened his eyes and moved until he was sitting. “I—”
Miceral pointed his finger, shaking his head. “No, this time you’ll listen to me. If you saw me frown, it was because I couldn’t believe you’d think I want to leave. I’ve wanted to tell you I loved you but didn’t want to scare you off. Every day I thank Lenore for you. Every day. You are so much more than I’d hoped for that I worry what you see in me. So yes, you are what I waited all those years to meet, and no, I’m not going to leave.”
Chewing his lip, Farrell took a moment to respond. What could he say? “You love me?”
Miceral gave out a nervous laugh. “Why are you surprised? Of course I love you. I think I loved you the moment we met, but I knew it for certain when you were tossed aside by the explosion outside Northhelm. My life is with you. Nowhere else.”
This time Farrell couldn’t stop his tears. How could he be so wrong? Or so stupid. He’d nearly pushed Miceral away because of his insecurities.
Miceral pulled him nearer, and Farrell resisted the urge to pull back. Pressed close, he felt the soft blond chest hairs move against his face. “I know I promised to be less insecure, but there are times when it’s so hard. I feel like what I am—a child compared to you.”
Miceral’s lips brushed the top of his head in a light kiss. “Farrell, my saying this won’t help, but you have no reason to question who you are around me. I
love you, not some ideal you that’s somewhere in here.” Two fingers tapped the side of Farrell’s head.
Hearing the words helped him push his fears deep inside. “I know you love me. I just get so—”
Miceral put a finger over Farrell’s lips. “Just leave it at that.”
Another kiss brought Farrell’s head up. He moved closer and closed his eyes when their lips met. If he didn’t feel so safe and happy, he might have been embarrassed.
“Okay, but can I say one more thing, please?” With effort, Farrell kept the smirk off his face for a heartbeat. When he smiled, he moved to the side so his lips were closer to Miceral’s ear. “I love you.”
A kiss was Miceral’s response. Leaning back, he felt Miceral’s body settle on his. Despite their size difference, Farrell didn’t feel crushed by the weight. Aroused, he moved to draw Miceral closer when his partner pulled back.
“No time for that now.” Miceral jumped off the bed and headed to the closet before Farrell felt the cool air chill him. “Since you’re up early, we can practice early. Get dressed.”
“How romantic,” he muttered but got up anyway. Despite the snide tone, he didn’t care. Miceral loved him. He could manage everything else.
FARRELL WOKE with a start. Though they worked well, he hated wake-up spells. He’d never found one that didn’t leave him with a sense of panic. Probably came from being jolted awake. Fortunately, he hadn’t woken Miceral.
Blond hair covered parts of Miceral’s face but didn’t hide the peaceful, content expression. Disturbing him didn’t seem right, but Farrell had plans for the day that didn’t include sleeping late. Of course, how he woke Miceral might make it less wrong.
Gently pushing strands of hair back, he kissed Miceral’s ear and cheek. When that didn’t work, he slowly pushed the sheet back and ran his fingers softly over the tight back muscles. Quicker than he could react, Miceral spun around and encased Farrell in his arms.
Champion of the Gods, Books 1-2 Page 16
