by Kat T. Masen
My bond with Adriana started way before Lex. Something, or perhaps the universe, drew us together at such a young age. Yes, we had our nine years apart, but things slowly went back to normal between us until Elijah passed away.
I felt helpless, unworthy in her presence of trying to be the pillar of strength she needed, when I struggled myself with losing Elijah, and almost my marriage. The overall impact his death had on everyone who knew him was something we never imagined we would have to experience.
And then there was Andy.
Life’s unfair, he didn’t deserve to grow up without a father.
Yet somewhere over the last six months, I knew something had changed with Adriana. It slowly began to eat away at me—her resistance to share her private life.
Both Lex and I spoke about it, and he too saw a change. We both assumed she was struggling with the guilt, which is why we didn’t push her too much.
What we didn’t expect was Julian.
Last night’s revelations caused a swirl of emotions, even my normally controlled self could not handle. It all made sense—the secrecy and refusing to share with me. Though, I knew Eric was aware of what, or who was happening, it still didn’t make any sense.
My first reaction was of shock, assuming she did this to hurt Lex and me. And to add to that maybe Julian wanted back in my life somehow.
It was a selfish presumption.
When Adriana finally opened up and explained how this all unfolded, it began to make sense. And the more she poured her heart out, the more I realized how real this was for both of them.
Nothing could change the way her eyes sparkled when she spoke about him, or her remorseful expression when she told me she’d been cutting herself to deal with the pain.
I felt sick to the stomach and incredibly apologetic for not realizing the extent and damage of losing Elijah had done to her, wishing I had made more of an effort.
But again, the universe had other plans, and it happened to involve my ex-fiancé.
Yet, perhaps the biggest hurdle, roadblock, hindrance, and complicated matter in this love affair is my husband.
Lex Edwards.
Unfortunately, I’ve been privy to Lex’s rage on more than one occasion. Jealousy is an ugly trait and one he can’t seem to rid himself of, no matter how hard he tries.
After Julian saved Ava and me, I had managed to calm him down enough to be able to see the so-called bigger picture.
Without Julian—we wouldn’t have survived.
But last night, Lex’s ego took a hit of epic proportions, and his jealousy is a force to be reckoned with. He said things, uncalled for, and disrespectful about my loyalty. My temper sparked, anger shot through me like hot lava. Only when we were at Adriana’s house, did it all begin to sink in. The hard reality is that I didn’t blame him for acting this way despite my warning for him to back the hell away and stay home. This was never going to go down well, and frankly, we’re dealing with the one man who will forever be Lex’s weakness. I know that Lex knew that, yet Adriana didn’t know the extent of Lex’s insecurities when it comes to Julian.
Behind this door are the ramifications of last night.
I take a deep breath, turning the key slowly, cautious of what lies inside. As the door opens, the grand entrance is in view.
Everything is in-tact, nothing out of the ordinary.
The silence creeps across the house, not a single sound is heard. I take small steps toward the kitchen, instantly noticing the medicine cabinet open and various contents scattered across the countertop. Letting out the breath I’ve been holding, I place my purse down and decide to clean it later, my immediate thought to find Lex assuming he’s passed out in our bed.
Our bedroom remains the same—bed perfectly made and unslept in.
The kids are at Emily’s, so their rooms remain empty.
Making my way back down the staircase, I walk the long hallway toward his office.
The door is shut.
I place my ear against it—silence again.
Opening it slowly, darkness consumes me. The drapes are shut, the small lamp on his large desk is illuminating the empty bottle of whiskey and his phone. Slowly, my eyes move up until I see his face. Lex is staring at the empty glass held in his hand. His other hand is bandaged, explaining the mess in the kitchen.
I take a step in closing the door behind me, watching him not even move at the sound of my presence. With a pained stare, his eyes look withdrawn and tired from no sleep and too much liquor. I’m torn between my anger and need to reassure him everything will work out.
But I know my husband all too well—he’s hurting and needs time to process.
My words twist around my tongue, trying to come out without a heated exchange. “I’m going to talk,” I tell him, clearing my throat and keeping my distance. “I’m going to say what I need to say, then walk out of this room if you don’t want to talk.”
He continues to sit still, not even a flinch.
“I had no idea this was going on. But I understand now why she didn’t tell me. I wouldn’t have been able to hide their relationship from you. Adriana may be like family, but you are my husband. I made vows to you, and I’ve always been honest with you throughout our marriage.”
Lex’s eyes wander across to me, yet unable to meet my gaze. Instead, they linger where I stand, vacant, and wordless.
“I’m hurt at the names you called me, insinuating I could be romantically or sexually linked to Julian in any form. I respect your position here and understand your hurt and anger. But this is Adriana’s life and not mine,” I say, my arms folded across my chest as if I’m trying to shield myself from what he’s about to unleash. “This is not my choice, and yes, if I had some control over the universe, he probably wouldn’t have been the person I would choose for her. But she cares deeply for him, and given what she’s gone through, I will respect her decision and do not want to be caught in the crossfire because I shouldn’t even be a part of their equation.”
His gaze shifts back toward the glass, probably wishing he had more alcohol.
Exhausted from last night, I let out a sigh knowing all this is fruitless. “I’m tired, Lex. All I ask from you is to please sober up before the girls come home tonight.”
With a heavy heart, I turn my back as he calls my name. Spinning back, my eyes lay upon him, and finally, he meets my gaze.
“I’m sorry.”
I nod, unsure of what to say besides what’s in my heart. “I know. Still hurts, just so you know.” So, I close the door behind me and leave him be, knowing he needs to be alone, and nothing I say or do will change that. My feet drag up the stairs, barely able to make it to the top. I must have only had three hours of sleep at best. Removing the clothes I borrowed from Adriana, I throw a tank and pair of bed shorts on then climb into bed.
The pillow sinks beneath my face, the comfortable doona and sheets wrapping my body with warmth. My eyes close and I begin to doze off. They’re heavy and tired, unable to stay open a moment longer.
I let out a moan, the bed shuffling beside me. The weight of my eyes too heavy, I can’t open them until gentle arms wrap around my body, and the fresh smell of body wash invades my senses. Lips are buried in my neck, but they are slow and sensual, not the usual frenzied panic I’ve grown accustomed to every time Lex gets his hands on me.
“Charlotte,” he whispers in my ear. “Please turn around.”
My heart is fluttering, ready to meet my destiny of the enchanting emerald eyes. I turn around, shuffling until I’m on my side. I see the anguish in his expression, and despite it all, I know he needs me more than anything to reassure him, it will be okay.
My fingers reach out, caressing his cheek. “It’s always been you… and will always be you. Please stop torturing yourself.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“It’s not possible,” I murmur, tracing his lips as he lets out a soft moan. “But you must control yourself, Lex. For the sake of the girls and me
, especially if he’s going to stick around.”
Lex doesn’t say a word, perhaps the reality is finally sinking in. With a sigh, he buries his head into my chest, and I hold onto him. His vulnerability is laid out, no holding back, as I stroke his hair to calm his racing heart, which beats against my stomach as we lay side-by-side.
I don’t know how long we’re like this for, but we both manage to fall asleep in each other’s arms. It’s exactly what we both need.
At least, that’s what I thought until I’m woken with my tank top pulled down and his mouth on my breasts.
I let out a long-winded moan, arching my back, quickly glimpsing at the time to make sure the girls aren’t coming home anytime soon. We have two hours, exactly.
Lex catches me looking at the time. “You’re so predictable. How long do we have?”
“Two hours.”
With his eyes piercing mine and his tongue running against his bottom lip, I watch as a devious smirk finally graces his lips, and I know I’m in trouble.
“You know what’s about to happen?” he asks, demanding my attention with his tone.
I nod, unable to hide my smile.
“We are going to fuck,” he tells me. “And we are going to fuck hard for two whole hours. And I’m going bareback because I need to feel you completely. You understand?”
I open my mouth to say something, but he covers it with his hand, trapping my words.
“Don’t even think about what that witch said about you getting pregnant. I’m not wearing a condom. Full stop! But if it eases your stress levels, I’ll pull out, and you can suck me off. Deal?”
I shake my head with a small laugh, punching him gently in the chest. “You’re a selfish jerk. You know that?”
Lex places his mouth on mine, sucking my bottom lip, leaving me breathless before pulling away. “I never hear you complaining.”
I hate that he’s right. Why would I complain? But I am not going to back down so easily, I have what he so desperately wants.
“I’ll have to think about your offer.”
This time, he shakes his head, unable to hide his grin. He doesn’t say anything, moving on top of me and sliding himself in without any warning. I gasp, closing my eyes as desire spreads throughout me like wildfire.
“You still thinking?” he groans, thrusting in me as I watch all his muscles tighten while hovering above me.
I place my hands on his face, begging him to stop for just a moment. Our eyes meet, the intense stare crumbling all the walls within me.
I need him, maybe more than ever.
As I gaze into the emerald green orbs, I feel complete once again.
“Show me what you got… baby.”
#JERK
#B!TCH
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Born and bred in Sydney, Australia, Kat T. Masen is a mother to four crazy boys and wife to one sane husband. Growing up in a generation where social media and fancy gadgets didn’t exist, she enjoyed reading from an early age and found herself immersed in these stories. After meeting friends on Twitter who loved to read as much as she did, her passion for writing began, and the friendships continued on despite the distance.
“I’m known to be crazy and humorous. Show me the most random picture of a dog in a wig, and I’ll be laughing for days.”
