by Kristin Cast
And he’s just barely finished when Camellia/Violet runs up behind him, gazing deep into my eyes when she says, “Don’t ruin this for us—please! We only want what’s best for the house—that’s all we’ve ever wanted. And look! Look how beautiful ’tis again! You belong here, Lily—this is your home, and we live to serve you and Master Lucian!”
I glance from her to Lucian, the guy from my dreams. He needs me.
He’s tremulous, faint, unable to speak. Neither alive nor dead—trapped in some kind of limbo state.
I’m sure of only one thing: This is my duty, my reason for being. My connection to this place is real, of that I’ve no doubt. I’ve never felt so at home, so content, so happy just to stay within these old walls. Besides, it’s like Bram said, they’re depending on me.
Hearing Bram’s voice at my ear, whispering urgently, “Listen, Dani, I get that you’re wrestling with some issues at home, really, I do. But still, you don’t really strike me as the suicidal type. But hey, if I’m wrong, don’t mind me, just go ahead and kiss him already, that should do the trick.”
I glance over my shoulder, annoyed by his constant interruptions and eager to get on with my destiny.
“Even though he appears animated—or at the very least, upright and visible—in order for him to be truly alive, he needs your soul. And to get it, he’ll kiss you, suck it right out of you, extract the life force, and then spit out what remains so he won’t have the burden of all that goes with it. Leaving you no more than an empty shell, which he may or may not send home in a box so your poor dad can bury you. Seriously, Dani, it’s not just the stuff of horror movies—in this case it’s real. See that red glow emanating from his chest? That’s the void he needs to fill. Is that what you want? To be a soul donor for him?”
I swallow hard and turn back toward the guy from my dreams, the guy I came here to help, promised to help. But when I glance over my shoulder at Bram, a real live, flesh-and-blood person who’s only trying to help me—save me from doing something risky that may not end well—that’s when I choose.
Hearing Camellia’s agonized scream crying out from behind me, as I push away from Lucian and rush straight toward Bram.
His arms circle around me as his mouth presses against mine—the feel of his lips so familiar, my mind floods with memories stretching far before my time.
Moving across my face to my cheek before working his way to the space below my ear, brushing my hair to the side, and he whispers, “This is forever,” as his fangs sink into my flesh.
We loved with a love that was more than love.
—Edgar Allan Poe
Seven
When I wake, Bram’s leaning over me, all cleaned up with a new set of clothes and freshly washed hair, gazing at me with loving concern when he says, “Sorry, Lily. I didn’t mean to surprise you like that.”
“My name’s not Lily,” I mumble, struggling to sit up, though I’m far too weak to even lift my head.
“Well, it used to be.” He smiles, running his finger down the length of my cheek. “But if you prefer, I’ll call you Dani—or even something else entirely. We’ve got an eternity to get it all figured out, no need to rush into anything.”
I look at him, gazing into eyes that look just like Lucian’s, wondering how I got it so wrong.
Realizing my thoughts are no longer private, haven’t been all along, when he says, “You didn’t. You didn’t get it wrong, or choose wrong. The fact is, Lily-Dani, you chose the exact same way you did before. Over a hundred years ago. And apparently Lucian never got over it.” He shakes his head. “Though I guarantee you he’s over it now. I’m afraid my brother won’t be visiting anytime soon.”
“Your brother,” I whisper as my hand flies to my throat, wondering which is more horrifying—the two sets of puncture marks, or the fact that I’m no longer breathing.
“Listen.” He climbs onto the divan and grasps my hand in his. “The only thing I lied about was your connection to this place.” He pauses, eyes gazing into mine when he adds, “Well, that and the painting. I painted it, over a hundred years ago, and you painted the one of me just beside it, but everything else was true.”
“How could I have possibly painted that when I’m only seventeen?” I cry, his words not making the least bit of sense, even though deep down inside, I know them to be true.
“I’ve waited a long time to find you,” he says. “Gave up on that reincarnation crap years ago. But then, when I heard about the restoration, I swung by to see for myself, and the moment I saw you, I knew. And when I saw your Doc Martens, I knew for sure. You always had that independent, rebellious streak, and well, you know the rest.”
“But I don’t,” I say, my voice hoarse, scratchy, as though I haven’t used it all day. “I don’t know anything. All I know is that I’m no longer breathing, I think I might’ve killed someone who was already dead, and—” I close my eyes, unwilling to voice the worst of it, so I think it instead: And I think I might be a vampire.
“You are a vampire.” He nods, and by the glint in his deep, dark eyes, it’s clear he’s quite pleased by the fact.
And was I a vampire before—a hundred years ago?
He shakes his head. “No. Although Lucian tried to trick you into letting him turn you, when you discovered it was he, not me, who tried to sire you, you fled. And in your haste, knocked over a candelabrum, which burned down the house and took Lucian right along with it. By the time I returned, there was nothing left to save. You were gone, Lucian was six feet under, and though the servants clung to the hope that he’d someday hasten your return, I never believed it. But don’t worry about them—they bear no further allegiance to Lucian. Now that they know we’ve no plans to leave, they’ll happily serve us for the rest of eternity.”
I stare at the wall, the furniture, the heavy drapes that are forever drawn. Trying to make sense of it all, but it’s a lot to absorb.
“Everything you see here is ours, just as it was always meant to be. You’re an integral part of this house—without you, without our eternal love, it can’t thrive, it all falls apart. It’s been that way from the moment you first set foot in this place—over a century ago. The house was in a shambles but your mere presence was enough to start the process, and your artistic gift brought it to life. And that’s when I knew you were the one I’d been waiting for. Your connection to this place is very real—this is where you are meant be.” He looks at me, his gaze filled with reverence, voice soft and tender, when he adds, “I’ve waited so many years for you to return, Lily-Dani, and while Lucian may have sent you the dreams, it was you and I who were lovers. He met you first and swore that I stole you from him—but you can’t steal what was always meant to be yours, now, can you?” He smiles, smoothing my hair between his thumb and index finger. “I know you remember. I felt it in your kiss.”
“So what does it mean?” I ask, my gaze fixed on those deliciously chilled lips and longing to taste them again.
He smiles, exposing a full set of teeth, including, yes, fangs, kissing the tip of my nose when he says, “It means you’ll live forever. You’ll be young and beautiful forever. And you’ll never have to deal with Nina, high school, or the likes of Jake and Tiffany again.”
“And my dad? What about him?” I ask, suddenly overcome with the pain of missing him—a pain that subsides the moment I realize the truth: The person I miss is long gone. My old dad, the man he used to be, disappeared the moment he hooked up with Nina. Leaving behind a new, not at all improved dad in his place. One who barely takes notice of me. One who’s clearly eager to forget the past and embrace a future I prefer to avoid.
He shrugs. “That’s the only downside. You can never see him again. But still, there’s always something, right? Nothing ever comes without a price.” He slips his arm behind me, supporting my back as he helps me to sit. “But for now, you need your strength. You need to eat.”
He rings a bell and Violet, still transformed into her younger self, Camellia, hurrie
s in. “Miss.” She bows before me, no longer wielding any type of strange power over me. No longer daring to make eye contact now that our positions as mistress and servant have been newly established. Setting down a plate piled high with sausage links, she says, “They’re fresh. Courtesy of that nice young stable boy from the next manor over.”
Bram glances between us, then dismisses Camellia with a wave of his hand. “So.” He leans toward me. “More of that blood sausage you seem to like so much?” He smiles. “Or—more of me?” He loosens his collar, exposing an area of his neck I vaguely remember feeding from—just after he bit me.
And when I look at him, I know it’s just one more experience I need to embrace—one that won’t just feed my art, but also free my soul—like he said.
I glance at the mirror before us, seeing him with his slicked-back hair, black waistcoat, black pants, and white frilly shirt, and me in my black watered-silk gown, with a jet-black tiara now secured at my crown.
And I reach for him, pulling him to me as my lips swell toward his. Remembering how it felt to be loved, truly loved, all those years ago, back when we first met, and knowing I’ve found that love once again, I lower my head, press my lips to his neck, and drink.
Aware of his arms circling around me, lovingly, protectively, bringing me home.
My real home.
The one that was always meant to be.
Above
KRISTIN CAST
One
Earth.
She sits in her belly, swallowed by dirt,
desolate
bruised
broken.
Part of the world no one desires, entombed among creatures that slime and bloat with waste.
She is a tree root stuck below:
suffocating,
twisting to break
free.
Whispers from those that surround her tell
“you are safe
held in a warm embrace
Below.”
She is a virgin of safety. Always intimidated, attacked, tormented.
No air. No light. No possibility or wonder, joy, love, protection.
Home
she has not found you.
But Above…
The thought tickles her heart and makes her tan skin melt, sticky and warm. Her daydreams float images of happiness Above.
Above, she can be alive.
Above, she can be safe.
Anywhere is better than Below.
From her perch Below, she stares up. Her hair, the color of fallen leaves in dry season, falls down the back of her fur garment. Her neck muscles tight with dreaming. A crack in the hollow earth glistens with heat of a setting sun. Its width and length greatly reveals the blue Above and the possibility of looking upon
the Others.
She waits, searching for a glimpse.
Shaking with anticipation, excitement, her body sips shallow, noiseless breaths. If she reached up, her fingertips could play peekaboo with the floor of Above.
There! An Other! Heading to shelter, its home in the trees, as its sun fades. Its sweet smell drips through the cracks of her cocoon. Shattering fear.
They, the Others, are high-reaching and jointless. Their skin, barely covered by the hides of their kills, the dark of wet earth. She matches them, the Others. She too is dark skinned. Not the shiny brightness of stars like the ones Below; their pupils large, sucking light from the nothing.
She is unique, evolved, brave.
Her difference, the seed of abuse.
She touches, sees, hears, smells, tastes, wants…different.
Alone in a pit of ancestors who have forever grown Below. Who have forever grown afraid of the light and the Others Above, created strong and deadly, who survive by it.
She has been exposed to sixteen years of fear and hate, warned of the murdering Others that stalk Above, waiting to suck out bones of those Below who are captured. Their skin sacks left to ooze and twitch on mounds together, eyes left open to watch the flies hatch families of their own.
Still, she is forever in awe of the openness that is Above.
Sitting, staring, waiting, she dreams of an escape from Below, from her torturers who eat at her soul like grubs. A new life, name, family, home. To touch the sun’s warmth and drink the moon’s calm rays.
To love and be free.
To love and be wanted.
To love and be avenged.
Two
“Hey, girl.” A putrid voice hurled toward her. Ten spidery fingers wet with acid spit reached up, picked at her loose dress, and skittered up and down her bare legs. “Come down here and join us. We got some nice toys for you to play with.” The one who spoke licked the blade of his knife while others snapped their belts and threatened her with tight fists.
Male laughter fought through her ears and set off her stomach. Bile churned, threatened to surge past her teeth and coat her body in sick. She rocked back and forth, silently chanting a spell of fading protection.
Ten fingers still touching.
I will be okay.
Stomach still falling.
I will be okay.
Bodies still threatening…I will be okay…taunting…I will be okay…waiting.
She was “punished” for being different. It was “fun.”
I will be okay.
Above.
Above.
Above.
“Don’tcha wanna see what we got waitin’?”
Lick. Snap. Pound.
No, go away, go away. “I’m fine up here.”
“Aw, come on. It’ll be fun.”
Lick. Snap. Pound.
Help! Go away! Help me! “No thank you. I’m fine.”
“Whoo, boys! Ain’t she cute, so proper.”
More spiders bit at her legs, filling her with poison. Daring her stomach.
“Rheena!” Her birth mother paused the girl’s hell. “Oh, hello, boys. Shouldn’t y’all be gettin’ ready?” Rheena unpinched her eyes, stomach relaxing. “Well then, pick up your jaws and get goin’.” They smirked hexes toward the girl and were gone.
For now.
“Ugh. You need to learn to stop distractin’ them from their duties. Whore.”
With one arm she ripped Rheena down from her seat of dreams and let her topple to the mud below. “It is almost time for the kill. We must prepare them to go. Above.” She thrust one glowing shoulder toward the heavens, scrunching with fear and disgust; the last word a whisper. Her celestine blue eyes flicked, aware of the commotion around them. The hunters gathering their killing tools. Rheena could not see into the dark that engulfed them. “Come, girl. Wipe yourself off, you’re always so filthy. I’ll never get why you sit up there near the sun and risk bein’ seen by one of them Others.” Again, a whisper. As if speaking their name would tag those Below for death. Rheena smiled inside, hoping so. “It’s morbid, Rheena. Revoltin’.” She followed her birth mother’s rant, dancing around pale bodies that shuffled about heavy and quiet with angst, until the opening of their cave was reached.
“Umm, excuse me?”
A sigh hissed past her birth mother’s lips as she turned toward Rheena. “What is it now?”
“Could I go Above, with the men? Just once?”
“You are such a stupid, stupid girl.”
Rheena was made to stand outside the mouth of their dwelling, invited in only when her father could be bothered with the sight of her. She nervously watched glowing figures buzz in and out of the openings of their hivelike residence. Don’t leave me alone. Out here. With them.
“Do we really have to do this shit every single month?” The familiar speech from her birth father could be heard booming from outside their den where Rheena waited.
Always waiting.
“You women do not go Above, especially to hunt. It’s men’s work. Part of bein’ a man. Why does that girl keep havin’ to ask? She’s gotta know that my answer’s gonna be the same. No!” He paused, but as with all of the men Below he did
not expect or want his wife’s response. “Now bring her in here and I’ll tell her. Again.” The creak of his large wooden chair signaled that he had sat, exhausted and repulsed by the girl waiting outside. Like the months and years before, she tensed, waiting for her birth mother to shove her back inside to be greeted by her father’s mask of hate and disgust.
But this time, something changed.
Rheena’s birth mother cleared her throat; her voice shook with hesitation. “Should we actually stop her this time?” No answer. “I mean, she desires the Above so bad she will probably kill herself just tryin’ to go up there. Shouldn’t you just let her go?” The birth mother hurried along, allowing, hoping for no interruption. “No one’ll ever pick her to breed, and she can’t see good enough to even do simple tasks that need to be done around a house and for a man. We’ll be stuck with her and everyone’ll always look at you and me like we’re no better than them that never grow. Really, you have done everything you can for that girl. So, I’m gonna ask again, should you stop her?”
“No.”
