The smile that illuminated her face warmed his heart. He hoped that giving her a blank check for her dress would cause her to be more conscious of her spending on everything that was left.
“Thank you, honey!” she squealed. She was so excited to have his blessing and not have to be so concerned with whether or not he’d think she was spending too much money. However, she somehow felt like a child in that moment and she didn’t like that. They would have to discuss it later, because she couldn’t be put in a position where she would have to ask to spend her own money.
CHAPTER 17
Although Tammy had reservations about the whole money issue she and Joshua were dealing with, she felt a rush of excitement knowing that she could buy whatever dress she wanted and there would be no talk of her going over budget. She had to pull someone else in on the excitement and the dress shopping frenzy she was about to embark upon. The only person she knew who would very well share in her excitement was Raegan, because she was getting married soon.
Tammy called Raegan to ask her to accompany her on dress fittings, but she kept receiving her voicemail. That was unlike Raegan, so she reached out to Kensi and Michelle to see if they’d heard from her. Learning that no one had spoken to her, she became worried.
She called Caleb. She had his number in case of an emergency, and not being able to reach Raegan right now was an emergency in Tammy’s mind.
Tammy called Caleb several times and didn’t receive an answer there either. Voicemail. After about four unsuccessful attempts to reach him, he returned her call.
“Caleb, I was beginning to worry. Where is Raegan? I haven’t heard from her. Is she with you?” Tammy fired away.
“Raegan was involved in an accident, Tammy. I’m here at the hospital waiting to see her.” His voice sounded weak with worry.
Tammy immediately thought about the baby and how both Raegan and Caleb must be feeling right now. “What’s going on now? Is she in surgery or something? How long ago did this happen?”
“I’ve been here four hours. I haven’t heard anything yet, but I do believe she’s going to be just fine,” Caleb said, remembering the blood that stained the sheet wrapped around the lower half of Raegan’s body.
“I’m on my way.” Tammy pushed thoughts of dress fittings away from her mind and refocused on Raegan. She had to go see her. After getting the hospital information from Caleb, Tammy immediately grabbed her purse and keys, gave Joshua a quick update, and jumped in her car to meet Caleb at the hospital.
“Lord, please let Raegan be all right. I know that You have not given us the spirit of fear but instead You’ve given us power, love and a sound mind. But right now, I am afraid. I don’t know what to expect, so I’m afraid my friend may be seriously injured. She was also carrying her first child. I ask now that You strengthen her right where she is and give her the courage to deal with whatever the results of the accident may be. I know that You have all power in Your hands, so in this moment, I ask that Your power strengthens and empowers us all so that we can be helpful to Raegan in whatever way she needs. In Jesus’ name, Amen,” Tammy prayed as she drove to the hospital. She did not have a good feeling about this. Being that Raegan was pregnant, that made her nervous. Nervous for both Raegan and the baby. She was far from being a physician, but she knew that trauma was not good for Raegan’s pregnancy.
When Tammy arrived at St. Luke’s, she threw her car into park and rushed into the waiting area to find Caleb, who sat with his head bowed, face in palms, praying. She didn’t say anything when she spotted him. She walked over and sat next to him, placing her hand gently on his shoulder. He glanced up at her, eyes wet, with worry apparent on his face.
“Any news yet?” Tammy asked. She could empathize with him. She understood how it felt to be sitting in a hospital waiting for news about the condition of a loved one. In the past few months, she had to go through similar situations with both her grandmother and Joshua.
Caleb shook his head. “I’m still waiting. I was here when they brought her in, but I haven’t heard a word yet. Let me check again,” his voice cracked. He slipped his sweaty palms into his pockets and walked over to the nurses’ station for the eighth time in the past hour.
“Excuse me ma’am,” Caleb said as politely as he could muster. He was ready to start running down the halls, opening up doors until he found her or someone who would talk to him. “I’m still waiting to hear about Camille, I mean Raegan Camille Sanders’ condition. She was brought in a few hours ago by ambulance. I’m her fiancé and I’d like to know how she’s doing. I don’t want to be a nuisance, but if you could please ask someone to come talk to me, that would really be helpful.” Caleb spoke as calmly as he could considering the circumstances, but inside he was screaming.
He had been there for several hours and there was not a word. That bothered him more than anything. He knew she was fine, he could feel it, but he still needed confirmation from the doctor. They were going to spend their life together. She had to be okay. The nurse apologized for the delay and assured him that someone would be out to speak with him shortly.
Tammy jumped up, hoping to hear some news, as Caleb walked back to the waiting area. He didn’t say anything; he just shook his head and sat down. His jaws visibly clenched and his temples pulsed as he tried to remain calm. He was being pushed to his limits.
Caleb leaned back in the chair, closed his eyes, and said a silent prayer. He opened his eyes to find a doctor walking into the waiting area. He nearly jumped over chairs to get to the doctor, whom he hoped was there to deliver news about Raegan.
“I’m Raegan’s fiancé. How is she doing?” Caleb asked without verifying that he was Raegan’s doctor.
“We had to give her a few stitches, but she is recovering well. She’s been mumbling your name. The anesthesia is slowly wearing off, so she may be a little disoriented, but otherwise she should be fine,” the doctor reported, closing the chart.
“Oh, thank God! Can I see her now?” Caleb pressed.
“Yes, but there is one other thing you must know.” The doctor’s tone told Caleb that he was about to deliver bad news. Caleb knew what the doctor was referring to before the words even came out of his mouth. He took a deep breath as his shoulders slumped a little and waited for the doctor to say the words.
“The baby did not survive. The trauma was just too much. She started losing the baby before she arrived to the hospital. The force from the collision caused her placenta uterine attachment to detach. At that point, the baby began to lose oxygen. There was nothing we could do by the time she arrived. I’m sorry for your loss,” the doctor said.
“I’d like to be with her when you tell her,” Caleb said. He knew the news would devastate her. Although she’d been dealing with other issues concerning the baby, he knew that she was very much in love and wanted to have the baby, and so did he. Although they didn’t create the child together, he was going to love the baby as though he planted the seed.
Tammy was within earshot, hearing everything that the doctor told Caleb about the baby. She was heartbroken. She wanted to see her but knew that Raegan would need to be with Caleb first. Raegan had always been there for her, so she would do the same. She did the one thing she knew to do—pray. Raegan would need supernatural strength to deal with losing her baby.
The doctor led Caleb to Raegan’s recovery room. “I’ll give you two a moment and then I will return to speak with her.”
“Cami, baby! I’m so glad you’re all right! You scared me for a moment there, woman!” Caleb made it to her bedside in three strides. He couldn’t wait to hold her in his arms again.
She gave him a weak smile. She was feeling a little incoherent because of the anesthesia, but as the doctor told Caleb, it was beginning to wear off.
“I love you,” he professed, planting a kiss on her forehead. He didn’t have any other words. He couldn’t be the one to break her heart, telling her the baby didn’t survive.
“I love you too,” she said,
sliding up into a sitting position. She thought for a moment, trying to figure out what happened. The last thing she remembered was leaving the coffee shop after talking to Rico and his wife. She was excited that she no longer had to deal with the likes of Rico ever again because he signed over his parental rights. There was no recourse for him; he couldn’t show up in their lives later wanting to fight for his rights months or years down the line. He may not have truly wanted to do so, but she was hoping that he would choose repairing his marriage instead of fighting with her over the baby. And she had been right.
It was in that moment that she remembered and tears filled her eyes. She touched her stomach and whispered, “My baby?” She looked into Caleb’s eyes to confirm what she knew to be true.
CHAPTER 18
“Honey, you’re late but right on time. My shift is ending so I need you to take over. We have a patient who was involved in a car accident and lost her baby. It’s so sad; she doesn’t know it yet. The doctor is about to give her the news, but it’s time for some pain meds and her vitals check,” Chloe’s nurse friend updated her and handed her Raegan’s chart before walking away.
Chloe was preoccupied with her marital affairs, so she didn’t bother to look at the patient’s name on the chart before entering the room. She was simply grateful for a distraction—anything right now to take her mind off her lying, adulterous husband.
“Good afternoon,” Chloe greeted the patient and her guest as she entered the room. Caleb was sitting in the chair next to Raegan’s bed, with his back toward the door. He turned slightly to speak and then returned his attention to Raegan, who couldn’t see the nurse because Caleb was blocking her view.
Chloe walked around to the other side of the bed, blood pressure kit in hand, and stopped mid-stride when she got a good look at the patient. There in the bed was Raegan . . . the woman carrying her husband’s child . . . well, the one who had been carrying his child, according to the nurse who just handed her the chart.
“Oh God!” Raegan whimpered, as her head throbbed and her body stiffened under Caleb’s hands. He looked from Raegan to the nurse. Both women were staring at each other as if they’d seen a ghost. Chloe no longer wore the forced friendly smile that was plastered across her face when she entered the room. Her eyes were now narrow and her hands planted on her hips.
“This just cannot be happening!” Chloe fumed. I’ll be damned if I give you one painkiller! Chloe thought. The one thing she was trying to get out of her mind was staring her in the face. As a nurse, Chloe felt a tinge of compassion for Raegan, but she was not about to give her care.
“Babe, what’s the matter? What’s going on here?” His eyebrows scrunched together as the creases in his forehead formed. Caleb again looked from Raegan to the nurse and could sense the tension, but was confused as to why it was there in the first place.
“Meet Rico’s wife—Chloe,” Raegan told Caleb, her voice barely above a whisper. She somehow felt that speaking quietly would ease her pain.
Caleb’s eyes widened and he looked from one woman to the other, confusion clouding his eyes. He had to have missed something. Under ordinary circumstances he would have extended his hand and offered an it’s nice to meet you, but that didn’t seem appropriate and Chloe didn’t seem to be in the mood for introductions.
She snatched Raegan’s chart off the counter and stormed out, without ever laying hands on Raegan. As far as she was concerned, her marriage was ending because of Raegan, and her career was not about to go down the drain too. She couldn’t help but think that something going wrong with Raegan would be traced back to her and somehow, someone would figure it all out and blame her. Probably a long shot but she wasn’t taking a chance. Besides, she wasn’t sure she was the one to provide her with the best care. Not in this moment. She was a professional so she knew when to step away.
After nearly tearing the handle off the door to exit, Chloe came face-to-face with the doctor. She shoved the chart into his chest, still seething at the thought that her husband was the father, and walked away, a move she would likely have to answer for later, but she hoped to have her emotions in check by then. She thought Rico fathering another woman’s baby was the thing bothering her most, but it wasn’t now that she realized Raegan was no longer pregnant. She couldn’t be with him again knowing that he shared with Raegan parts of himself that he was only supposed to share with her. She resolved that their marriage had to end whether or not Raegan was still carrying his child. It could no longer work.
∞
Raegan’s doctor confirmed her worst fear. This wasn’t a nightmare. There was no opening her eyes and things would go back to normal. This was now her reality. She had lost her baby. Just when she felt like she was finally getting a grip on the situation, it slipped through her fingers like sand.
After the doctor gave the bad news, Raegan zoned out. She felt as though losing her baby must have been some sort of consequence for conceiving the baby out of wedlock. She was doing all that she could to correct the situation, but that was not enough. Why would God allow this to happen? The doctor explained that in early pregnancy, the baby is usually protected against such traumas. They likely wouldn’t have known that she was pregnant had she not been bleeding; that is when they performed a blood test to detect the presence of hCG. To confirm, they also gave her an ultrasound. Her losing the baby was unfortunate and it was nothing that they could have done since she’d started to lose the baby before arriving at the hospital.
The doctor offered his condolences for their loss and left the room. Caleb saw the look of sorrow on Raegan’s face, but he felt helpless. He knew that she had been excited about having the baby and wanted everything to be perfect.
“Cami, we can get through this together. You know I’m right here.” Caleb squeezed her hand and planted another kiss on her forehead. He took a seat next to her on the bed and gave her a reassuring hug.
Raegan remained quiet for a while. Caleb didn’t want to push her. He was quite unhappy and needed encouragement as well, but he was determined to be strong for her.
“Thank you,” Raegan said, her voice faint “Thank you for being here with me. I need this; I need you,” she cried, leaning into his embrace. She’d gone from one nightmare to another. The dreams she had of the three of them together would now never be. The doctor assured them that this loss shouldn’t affect her being able to carry another child, and she did find comfort in that—the fact that one day she could carry Caleb’s baby and they could still have the family they both wanted. There was hope but that didn’t erase her sadness.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Caleb squeezed her tighter, brushing her curls away from her face and planting another kiss on her forehead.
“I had no doubt about that. Everything is going to be all right, I know, but I still can’t believe this is happening . . . after all of the plans we made,” Raegan sniffed, remembering the gifts that Caleb recently purchased and her joy at getting Rico out of their lives for good.
“We are still very blessed and I don’t think that God loves us any less. He is still awesome in power and His ways are far greater than we know, even when we don’t understand,” Caleb said, trying to encourage himself as well.
“You’re right about that. We’ll get through this all right.” Raegan sighed and returned his kiss.
“There is someone else here waiting to see you.” He knew that having close friends around during times like this would cheer her up. He was thankful that Tammy stopped by.
She slid out of his embrace to see his face. “Who? Did you call someone?”
“No, she called me earlier because she was looking for you. I’ll go get her. Be right back.” He kissed her again and wiped her tears before walking toward the door. Tammy had been waiting in the hallway since the doctor left the room. Caleb waved her inside.
“I was so worried about you when you didn’t answer your phone earlier. I’m so glad that you’re all right!” Tammy rushed to her side .and hugged
her “I just spoke with Kensi and Michelle. They know that you’re doing okay. I told them I would give them an update after I got a chance to see you for myself.”
“Thank you so much for coming to see me. How are the plans coming along for the vow renewal?” Raegan changed the subject, no longer wanting to think about her current situation. She saw the look in Tammy’s eyes and didn’t want her feeling sorry for her. She would much rather talk about something light and exciting.
“They’re fine.” Ordinarily, Tammy would have shared the issues that she and Joshua were having regarding finances, but she didn’t want to talk about that in front of Caleb. She figured that now wasn’t the time considering the circumstances. “That is why I was looking for you. I wanted you to come dress shopping with me.”
“I’d love it!” Raegan cheered. Finally something that would really keep her mind off her loss. “I should be able to tag along in a couple of days or so. What did you have in mind?” Raegan patted the back of the chair next to the bed.
Caleb walked out of the room to allow them to talk about wedding stuff. He reminded her that he would be right outside the door if she needed him. He could sense that Raegan wanted something else to focus on, but he was still experiencing grief. He also thought they needed to talk about their relationship, but he understood that she needed time. They needed to work on them so that they could make their own plans to walk down the aisle. He hoped their loss wouldn’t postpone their wedding.
“I had a couple of things in mind, but now I’m thinking of something different. Like custom-design different. It’s Joshua’s gift to me,” Tammy squealed, clasping her hands together in excitement.
“That sounds fancy. A custom-made gown! I love it!” Raegan encouraged. She knew that Tammy often indulged in expensive things, but from the sound of it, Joshua was on board, so there was no reason to caution her about watching her spending.
Through Thick & Thin Page 8
