They shook hands. Nathan couldn’t ignore the excitement inside. All his dreams, things he wanted to do, and this artist just reminded him of them. But his dad had different plans for his life based solely on a birth order and nobody ever asked him what he wanted.
After meeting Travers, he felt driven again. Now he just had to tell his father that managing their family’s cattle ranch would never be a part of his future. He glanced over at Carli. She made a huge change in her life, so why couldn’t he? Follow your art, Travers had said. Follow your heart, Nathan thought. Grabbing Carli's hand, he led her towards the stairs. They still had another floor to explore and the outside exhibits. Time to focus on the here and now, and for one day stop worrying about the Rafter O. He’d have to leave his future in more capable hands instead of driving himself crazy with worry.
Show me what I’m supposed to do, Lord.
Chapter Thirteen
Carli followed Nathan towards the courtyard at the Art Museum of the Texas Plains. He insisted on looking over the sculptures that stood outside. She willingly tagged along behind him all day, enjoying his excitement to show her everything there was to see. She liked that he wanted to share this place with her. They were laughing about something as he reached past her to hold the door open. They stepped outside and he immediately turned to grip her upper arm. “I’m not here,” he whispered through gritted teeth.
Before she could ask him what he meant, the exit door slammed. Carli stood alone facing a beautifully trimmed outdoor stone-paved patio with vendor booths and colored flags. She turned to face a closed door. Nathan had disappeared inside. She tugged the door open and stepped inside. “Nate?”
He was nowhere to be found. Vanished. The last thing he muttered was, "I’m not here." What had come over him? Probably some ex-girlfriend he spotted. But then how would Carli know any of his past love interests? The boy must have a string of them just like Lank. Another reason she didn’t need the complication right now. Things get messy when you go beyond friendship.
Confused, she turned away from her search. Nathan could find her later, whatever was going on with him. She didn’t want to spend time wandering through the art museum looking for him. Instead, she’d rather explore the arts and crafts booths. Carli stepped back outside and suddenly came face-to-face with the cause for his strange behavior.
“Carli. I thought that was you.” Nathan’s sister called across the courtyard and made a beeline towards her.
“Angie. Hello.” Carli gave her a tentative smile, confusion and caution still rumbling in her mind.
“I just love arts and crafts, so I drug my momma and a few friends up here with me today. Are you by yourself?”
Carli let out a gush of air. Angie must not have seen her brother and obviously, Nathan did not want his sister to know he was on a date. Why would he be so ashamed of being seen with her? Anger and hurt burned inside for a split second, yet she hesitated to rat him out.
“Any unusual booths I should check out?” Carli decided to ignore Angie’s question.
“Definitely look at the woodcarver’s booth at the far end. He does some amazing work. And one of my favorite local jewelry makers is here. Just bought this.” Angie held out her arm to show off several delicate silver wire bracelets with chunks of turquoise.
“Those are nice. I’m going to that booth first.” They both giggled. “It was so great seeing you.”
“When I find everybody, we’re heading out for a late lunch. You should come with us.” Angie stepped closer and gave her a hug.
“I just got here so I appreciate the invite, but I have arts and crafts to explore.” Carli smiled but stood stiff and rigid. Everybody hugged in Texas and it was still awkward for her.
“We should get together sometime.”
“Sounds like fun. We should.” Carli had to admit she really liked Angie and hated to be in the middle of whatever was going on with Nathan and his family. Angie waved a goodbye and disappeared into the crowd.
Carli lost track of time as she wandered among the many artisans, stopping to admire their work. She bought a bracelet just like Angie’s. As she stood thinking about the price on a carved horse head in mesquite wood, Nathan suddenly appeared at her side.
“Sorry.” Was all he offered in explanation.
“Don’t worry. Your sister left.” Carli continued wandering through the booths and ignored him.
Nathan didn’t say anything else, just followed close to her heels. He reached for her hand, but she snatched it away. After a while longer, he uttered. “You must be angry. I can explain.”
Angry seemed such a small, insignificant word to define her feelings at this moment. The longer she’d been thinking about it, the more her blood boiled. She hated losing his friendship, but how could she be friends with someone who obviously was ashamed to be seen out in public with her? And if this was an actual date, she had seriously considered taking their relationship to the next level. But not anymore. His behavior made no sense. She’d been over to his house several times and met all of his family. And to think she was even considering kissing him again. What a great way to start a relationship.
Nathan took her by the elbow. “Let’s get out of here. I can explain.”
She decided against the wood carving and instead allowed Nathan to take her hand and guide her around the building to the parking lot.
An awkward silence surrounded them as they climbed into the pickup truck. As he pulled into traffic, windows of the truck open to the sunshiny breeze, Carli leaned her arm out the door, took in a deep cleansing breath, and looked over at her neighbor. “It’s been a great day. Thanks, Nate, but I’m not sure what happened back there.”
“I just didn’t want to see my sister.”
“You didn’t want to be seen with me.” Carli stared ahead and crossed her arms over her chest. She’d give him a few minutes to explain and then she’d demand he take her home.
“No. That’s not it.” Nathan jerked his head over with surprise on his face. “That’s what you thought?”
“What else would I think? You left me hanging there by myself. Obviously, you didn’t want Angie to know we were on a date.” She turned to glare at him.
“Really? You agree this is a date?” He didn’t try to hide the silly grin that spread across his handsome face, and then his tone turned serious. “This has nothing to do with you, Carli. Honestly, I didn’t want to explain to my sister why I was at an art gallery. It would have been a thirty-minute discussion. Okay, maybe it was a little about you. I’d have to explain why we were there together. Angie is relentless. You have no idea at her talent for interrogation.”
Carli laughed, a lightness settling over her heart. “I totally misread that entire situation then.”
“Forget about my family. I’m glad you’re here. Wasn’t it great meeting Brad Travers? I’ve read articles about him and followed his career for years. He gave me his card and told me to contact him! Even invited me to his studio! I want you to come with me.”
Carli listened as Nathan spoke about his encounter with Travers. It was easy to see his heartfelt enthusiasm about pursuing his passion for sculpting. She looked at him and smiled. “You know you have a glow about you that wasn’t there before.”
“What’re you talking about? Are you teasing me?”
“You’re glowing, literally glowing like a light bulb. When you talk about art, your face lights up and your eyes sparkle. You’re gushing like a toddler at Christmas.”
“That’s ridiculous. Men do not glow, and they absolutely do not get giddy,” Nathan said. "And I hope you’re hungry because you’re about to meet the best steak in your life.”
“Bring it on,” she said. He might deny it out loud, but Carli saw the way he hung on every word Travers said. Nathan still had a wide, silly grin on his face. It was impossible for him to stop smiling. Carli’s heart burst with hope and pride for him. She wished she felt the same about the choices she had made in her life. As they picked u
p speed, the air suddenly turned cool. She rolled up her window.
Nathan exited the interstate and drove to the north side of Amarillo, past the stockyards and a ballpark. Carli had never been in this part of the city before.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Some place my sister and her friends would never have lunch.” He laughed.
“Your mother was with them too.”
“Oh, great. That would have really been a scene.”
He parked the truck in front of a bright yellow building with a covered porch that stretched across the front and down one side. "The Outpost Steakhouse" read the sign. Carli’s stomach growled and she decided she didn’t want to go home yet.
Nathan turned in his seat to look at her. “Are you still mad?”
Carli hesitated for a minute, trying not to grin at the look of concern on his face. “I’ll give you one more chance, cowboy. Only because you mentioned steak.”
Chapter Fourteen
Nathan Olsen held the door of the steakhouse open for Carli and she blinked as her eyes adjusted to the dark interior. She found herself in the middle of an eatery with a Texas theme on steroids. Stuffed deer heads with impressive antlers were scattered over the dark paneling that surrounded the dining room. Every empty wall space was covered. Holding court on one wall was a massive stone fireplace with a bobcat sitting on the mantel, one paw raised, his mouth open showing fangs. Carli had never seen so many preserved animals in her life. Around the top of the room was a balcony which was where the hostess led them.
As Carli walked up the stairs, she looked down on the dining room below. People sat at long tables; diners were evenly spaced around the room. Waitresses scurried to and fro wearing wide cowboy hats, red bandannas, white Western shirts, and short blue jean skirts.
Carli and Nathan were shown to a cozy, corner booth. An ornate brass chandelier hung over their table, and Nathan had to remove his cowboy hat to slide into the bench. When she sat down the noise of the first floor faded and she couldn’t help but notice the waitress eyeing Nathan. The girl handed Carli a menu but opened Nathan’s for him and leaned closer. “May I tell you our specials for today?” She smiled. With model-perfect teeth, her eyes sparkled full of promise meant only for him.
Nathan never glanced up. “No thanks. Bring us a mug of your house ale to start with, please.” He glanced at Carli. “They make their own beer here. Their dark ale tastes like pecans. If you don’t like it, you can order something different and I’ll drink your glass too.”
She giggled. “All right. I’m game.” Carli realized she had laughed a lot today, until the episode with Angie. Her ego still stung a bit, but food would help her mood. She gazed at Nathan’s strong chin, sporting the shadow of a beard. His eyes, the color of a blue Texas sky, glanced up from the menu and met her gaze with a sweet smile. His hair brushed the top of his shirt collar, proof of the slight rejection he had for that clean cut, cowboy image. After today, she realized the conflict that churned within him. He hid so much inside. They both harbored many secrets.
Nathan was comfortable to be with, like a summer day, all warm and fun. It would be so easy to fall for him. As she glanced from her menu, he watched her, and their eyes met again. Unsure and questioning, he waited. Wanting something more. She wasn’t sure if she could give it to him. Avoiding his glance, she studied the menu.
After their order was taken, Nathan watched Carli take a long drink of her ale.
“What’d ya think?”
“About what?” Carli took a second sip. Not bad.
“About everything. The day. The art. Brad Travers. The ale.”
“Well, that’s a lot. I need another drink.” She chuckled. “First of all, this is tasty. You can’t drink mine.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” He reached across the table and laid his hand on hers. “I mean it.”
“I never realized how much this meant to you until I saw you talking to that artist. I had no idea how passionate you were about this sort of thing. So passionate in fact you go to great lengths to hide it from your family.” Carli watched a sadness reflect in his eyes.
“I make sketches sometimes so I can figure out an art piece that’s in my head. I love working with metal and wood, or the idea of it anyway. Sculpting, painting, I love all kinds of art.”
“That’s great, Nate. Do you have a collection at the Rafter O?”
“A few oil paintings of horses, but nothing significant. I can’t turn this off inside my head. I see beauty in nature, the colors, the textures. Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud of this land and the legacy my family has built on the Rafter O. I just don’t want to push cows for the rest of my life. Is that a bad thing?”
“No, not at all. And you don’t think your dad will understand?”
Before he could answer, the waitress brought their plates of food, and Nathan asked for another round of ale. Carli ordered the smallest steak on the menu, but it was still huge.
After the waitress left, Nathan continued, “My father is practical, all business. I’m the oldest son. He needs someone to take over the ranch when he’s gone. To tell you the truth, I think Angie would be better at the ranching business. She’s in the middle, third in line. When my sister Janie returns from the military, maybe the two of them would like to partner in it.”
“I admire you for thinking of them and the obligation you feel towards the Rafter O. It is a new era—women’s empowerment and all that.” Carli raised her eyebrows.
“My sisters love everything about the ranch. Both of them ran barrels, and the youngest, my little brother, Travis, is more focused on girls right now. It’s always been a given I’d step into Dad’s footsteps, just like he did and my grandpa and great-grandpa did before that. We have a long legacy of ranching that runs through the Olsen family.”
“You know some of my story, Nate, and I’m certainly not one to give advice. I put up walls and hide my true feelings from others and, ultimately, bury my own dreams from myself. I still don’t know what I want. I rejected the idea that I had any family, but then one day I discovered a family I never knew existed. And that’s when it hit me. I wanted to make this my home. Texas. And I always wanted family. As it turns out, I have ancestors who lived here for generations before me. They might be dead and gone now, but I’ve found a new family with dear friends.”
“I’ve told you this before, what you’ve done is admirable. It’s pretty incredible really, how things turned out for you. Buck and Lola love you like a daughter. And you don’t have to put up walls with me, Carli.”
“You can think that, but on the inside I’m a mess—unsure, scared, alone. I wish God would send me a sign to tell me I’m on the right path. I made the move to Texas, but now what? Should I open a riding school or not? With cattle prices holding steady, maybe I should buy more grass. Or not. I doubt every decision now, and I’ve never been that way before.”
“He doesn’t send you some giant-sized message like a lightning bolt, but little signs if you look for them. Small things that just work out to let you know you’re on the right path.” Nathan scooped up a buttery bite of baked potato on his fork and stabbed into a chunk of steak.
Carli studied him. On the outside he looked like the typical polished Texas cowboy, but now she understood that on the inside he was just as conflicted as she felt. “If I can do it, you can too. I guess what I’m saying, Nate, is that we should live our lives for ourselves. I don’t mean in a selfish way. We need to be true to ourselves, authentic people. We can’t live and act like some different person with likes, dislikes, and dreams that are opposite from what we truly feel down deep in our soul. You’ve got to follow your dream, your heart. Even if it sounds wild to other people.”
Nathan took a swig of ale. “You talk big, but have you contacted your birth father?”
Carli gasped and looked up at him in surprise. “That's kind of a low blow. I’m working on it, for your information.” She looked at her plate, pushing food arou
nd instead of eating. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to meet the man face-to-face. She directed the focus back to Nathan. “You should be honest with your dad. I believe once he listens and understands, he’ll still be proud of you and one of your biggest supporters.”
“Thanks, Carli, that means a lot. Where do I start? It seems like I’ve been keeping my secret for so long. I do some metal work at the ranch, but I keep it hidden in one back corner of the shop and work late at night. What am I afraid of?”
“Start small. Let’s go visit that artist’s studio. Yes, I’ll go with you.”
“I've been thinking about working somewhere for the experience. I might be able to get a part-time gig teaching drawing or something at one of the local junior colleges.”
“Well, there you go. It’s complicated, I know. But it's a step in the right direction.”
“A former art professor of mine has reached out to me about it. Even though I got my degree in agricultural business, she always encouraged my love of art.”
“You should pursue it. Now, when are you gonna talk to your folks?”
“I don’t know. They have a lot on their mind. You know, with Janie in the military and all. There's always something going on with the ranch. And Libby. She’s my youngest sister. Then Travis is the baby. Libby’s talking marriage and my folks don’t think she’s ready. Seems like there’s always a crisis in the Olsen household.”
“But Nate, you can’t keep putting your life on hold. If you wait for the right time, it’ll never be the right time.”
“You know, I’m approaching thirty fast. Maybe I should make ranching my life, like my dad says. Why am I fighting it so much? I should probably get married, have some kids. A ranch is a great place to raise a family.”
He paused and stared intensely into her eyes, but Carli pretended she didn’t get his meaning. She didn’t know where this thing with Nathan was going. Starting a family was not in her future. She didn’t see herself as being the motherly type.
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