His parents had raised him and his brother and sisters in the local church, but more than that, they taught them about the Bible. And sometimes when weather or livestock issues kept them from getting to church, the family read the Good Book together. As the kids found their way through the teen years, some were more interested in youthful pursuits and pranks. But Nathan believed they would always have faith rooted in their being.
Nathan believed in God but didn’t run around like a fanatic or get into other people’s business. His faith was personal, but he did share with others if the opportunity presented itself about how it made a difference in his life. He would be the first to admit he wasn’t a perfect man and sometimes went for days without what he called “scheduled” study or prayer. But he always felt that God had an eye on his life and cared about him.
So now in his time of unrest he thought he would search in what his grandfather had frequently called “Life’s Instruction Manual”. His hardback Bible was in the house. Seemed like a lot of people used their “devices” nowadays to look up scripture, and he also had given in to the convenience. He searched about the "desires of our hearts".
Nathan was familiar with the scripture Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Reading that filled Nathan with peace. God really does care about me. Okay, Lord, what’s my future? Cows? Or art?
He clicked on the link to Proverbs 16:3: “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” Okay, Lord, this art’s for You. Please bless it. I thank You for giving me the talent. You know I love to do it. Please use it for Your good, to make people happy. I feel this is the path for me deep in my soul. Give me your peace, Lord. Help me talk to my folks. Give them an open mind. Thank you.
As he raised his head and opened his eyes, Nathan saw his mother standing in the doorway waiting, watching him. A bit of panic hit when he thought of the copper rose on his worktable.
He hopped down from the bench and walked over to the torch area, discreetly slipping a cloth over the rose, and said, “Hey, Mom. Whatcha doin’?”
“Checking on my favorite oldest son. I have four other kids ya know, so I have to be careful about favoritism. And I’m bringing you something for breakfast. I heard you leave the house before dawn.” She placed a plate of homemade oatmeal bars on a table nearby.
She loved repeating that joke about favorite kids for as long as he could remember, probably said the same thing to them all. He often watched his mother in wonder, trying to imagine how she did it with five kids, especially when they were little. Must’ve been a challenge to corral them all.
“Thanks, Mom.” He barely glanced up before digging in.
“What are you working on?” She walked towards his bench, curiosity showing on her face.
He was closer and intercepted quickly. Moving the cloth-wrapped rose out of sight, he brought forth a small metal cross he had dabbled with for fun.
“That is very nice. I love it, Nathan. What are you going to do with it?”
While she admired the cross, he picked up another oat bar.
“Maybe sell it at the farmer’s market this summer?” He shrugged, answering between bites. “Belinda handles them for me at the coffee shop booth.”
“I didn’t know you made these. You really are talented, Nathan. And you enjoy it, don’t you?” She beamed with pride in her eyes as she ran her hand over the polished metal.
“Yes, ma’am, I do.”
“Looked like you were praying when I came in. Hope I didn’t interrupt your time. Is anything troubling you, Son?”
Here was another opportunity. Should he say anything or wait until both his parents were together?
Before he could decide what to say, his mother said, “You know, Nathan, your father and I love you and your brother and sisters more than anything in this world. We are blessed to have all of you and thank God for each of you every day. And we only want the best for you. We want you to be happy and safe. You can always talk to us about anything that’s troubling you.”
He couldn’t believe this opening. Running the words through his brain first, now would be the perfect time to bring the subject up, but he felt unprepared. Even if his dad wasn’t there, maybe it was the right time to get the ball rolling.
“Mom...I need to tell you something.”
“If you want to wait till your father is here.”
Nathan jumped in quick. “No, I need to get it out or I’ll go crazy.” He smiled a little, only to hide his racing heart. Why did he hesitate?
“Go ahead.” Her eyes were sharp and assessing, giving him her full attention.
“Mom, you know I love you guys. But the truth is I don’t want to do ranching the rest of my life. I want to pursue my art. I’m not sure Dad will understand.”
“What won’t I understand?” Suddenly his father appeared in the doorway and Nathan felt a stab of sickness in the pit of his stomach.
His mother went over to her husband and patted his arm. “Hon, let’s listen to Nathan. He was just about to tell me some things that have been on his mind.” She was still holding the metal cross in her hands.
The Olsens sat together on a wooden bench across from Nathan who leaned against the metal workbench, his dad’s face set in a stern expression.
Nathan cleared his throat, hesitating for a few moments. “I’m going to clean out that corner of the shop and have a place to do some metal work.” No reaction. So far so good. He continued.
“I can make a living doing this. I feel strongly about it.” He told them about taking Carli to the art museum, meeting Brad Travers, and how he wanted to learn about making life-sized bronze sculptures. He took a deep breath; his palms were clammy but now was as good a time as any. “I don’t want to run the Rafter O.”
That last revelation was met with stony silence from both his mother and father. His dad frowned with cold fury glowing in his eyes, then looked around the barn, seemingly processing what Nathan had just said.
His mother took hold of her husband’s hand as if to calm his nerves before he said something they’d all regret, and looked at her son. “Nathan, we want you to be happy. We want all of our kids to be happy. That’s the bottom line.”
After several long moments his father cleared his throat and finally spoke. “Son, we want the best for you. But this little hobby of yours is not going to pay the bills or support a family. You have an obligation to this ranch and to the legacy your great-grandfathers began. I took over for my dad. You’re the fifth generation of Olsens on this land. I’m not going to allow you to throw away everything you have here to make little metal doo-dads.” His father looked at him with a mixture of confusion and anger glinting in his eyes. Nathan’s heart clenched with pain.
“Angie could run the ranch with you, Dad. She’s a natural.”
His father stood, walked closer, and pointed a finger in his face. “Your sister is not the oldest. The Rafter O always goes to the oldest boy. It’s been like that for generations.”
Nathan thought about asking what about families that don’t have any boys, what then? But he didn't want to make his father's head explode.
It was out now, so he might as well go for broke. “I want to be an artist.”
Skip Olsen’s face turned a bright shade of red as he stared at his oldest son. “What are you doing to this family?”
There was that phrase again—“desires of your heart”. Oh, Lord. You really do care about us. Please help my dad understand and let him not be disappointed in me. The scripture flashed through Nathan’s mind again. He was overcome with emotion, but he couldn’t see how he could make them understand. This wasn’t a hobby. This was a lifetime commitment. He needed to study and learn and devote every waking hour to pursuing his dream. A cattle ranch did not play into his plans.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Carli stepped out her front door to join Lola’s early mo
rning yoga class and tripped over a bouquet of flowers. Big yellow sunflowers surrounded by daises and delicate baby’s breath with blue cornflowers, red, pink, and orange mums, all tied together in a vivid jumble with a red and white checkered bow. She bent to pick them up and found a card.
"Carli, Thanks for listening. You are very special to me. Fondly, Nathan."
Carli glanced up to see Lola walking towards her and waved before turning to take the flowers inside and find a vase and water.
“Wow aren’t those pretty! Secret admirer?” Lola asked as she followed Carli into the kitchen.
“They’re from Nathan,” said Carli in a serious, quiet tone.
“Nathan did good. He’s so thoughtful and such a nice young fella.” Then with a twinkle in her eye, she asked, “You think there’s something there?”
“Lola, it’s just a thank you. He took me to an art museum in Amarillo. That’s all it is.”
“Maybe for you, Carli. I think that boy...er, man...has a lot more on his mind. He’s had his eyes on you since the first time you met. He comes from good stock. You could do a lot worse.”
“You know I have so much going on in my life now—the equine program for the kids, plus trying to learn everything I can about running this ranch. I don’t have time for a boyfriend.”
“But one day, don’t you want a husband and a family of your own? Pretty soon you'll have to start thinking along those lines. That’s all I’m saying.” Lola got a vase down and filled it with water. Carli didn't mind Lola knowing her way around the kitchen.
“Yes, Mom,” Carli teased, and arranged the flowers into the container. “You know, not everyone gets married and has kids. This is the twenty-first century after all. Women have more choices nowadays.”
“You gonna call and thank Nathan?”
“Yeah, I should do that right now. I might be a little late for yoga class.”
“And, Carli, speaking of families.” Lola laid a warm hand on Carli’s shoulder. “You know. if you ever want to research the Jamesons, I’m always here to help. I’m not trying to rush you, it’s just that I’m sure there are tons of family papers stashed all over this house. Your Grandma Jean never threw anything away. I can help. Just whenever you’re ready.”
Carli swallowed the lump in her throat and pulled away from Lola’s touch. She focused on arranging the flowers in the vase to avoid eye contact. Maybe Lola didn’t know about the birth certificate. Maybe Jean or Ward never told anyone about the identity of her birth father, if they knew. It was her secret for now, and she trusted Nathan to keep it to himself. She wanted to do the research on her own for a while and wasn’t ready to tell Lola just yet. From what she had recently learned about small communities, any bit of gossip relating to the Wild Cow Ranch and her heritage would ignite like a prairie fire all over the county, and she'd be in desperate need of a team of smoke jumpers to extinguish it.
“Thanks, Lola. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Come whenever you can. I’m sure you’ll feel good after stretching, maybe get rid of some stress. I’d better get going. The ladies should be arriving any time.”
Carli pressed Nathan’s name on her phone.
“Mornin’, Carli. How are you?” His deep, cheerful voice lightened her mood. Was the guy ever discouraged or down about anything? Such a contrast from grumpy Lank who seemed to be annoyed with everything she did.
“Good morning, Nate. What’s up?”
“About to saddle up. It’s such a nice morning, and I need to check the late birthing heifers. I’ve only had to help deliver a handful. We’re almost done with this year’s crop. Did you need something?”
“I just called to thank you for the lovely flowers. That was really sweet of you.”
“So, you like them?”
“How did you get on my porch without me hearing you?”
He chuckled. “That’s a secret I’ll never tell. If you were my girl, I’d give you flowers every day.”
She gulped hard. What? He was getting bolder and moving faster all the time. She wasn’t ready and wasn’t sure how to answer.
“Uh...” she stammered and then cleared her throat.
“I don’t mean to freak you out, Carli. Just speaking my mind. Already told you how special you are to me.”
“I’m flattered but remember I said to go slow?”
He chuckled again. “They’re just flowers, Carli. No biggie. I wanted to let you know I had a great time. Hey, you want to bring Beau and go for a ride? I’m trying to put some miles on a colt for a guy. Or I could come to you.”
She was tempted. If the prediction held true it should be a mild day with minimal wind and it wasn’t all that cold. She hadn’t taken Beau out for a while. Would it encourage Nathan even more if she kept spending time with him? She always had a lot of work waiting for her in the office. Couldn’t just go off gallivanting when she had a ranch to run. But she really needed a friend and he was so easy to be with.
“I dunno, Nate. I’ve got a lot to do here. Plus, I was just about to join Lola’s yoga class. I think they’re starting soon.”
“Seriously? Bend your body in unnatural ways like a pretzel? Or ride Beau across the pasture on a beautiful morning? When was the last time you had him out anyway? Think of him. Horses need to run. And it would be more exercise for you than yoga stretches.”
He was a hard one to argue with. “All right, Nate, you win. I’ll load up Beau, tell Lola I can’t stay for her class, and head your way in a few minutes.”
“Sounds like a deal. I’ll give you the two-cent tour of the Rafter O by horseback. See you in...say, a half hour?”
“Okay, half hour.”
As she was saddling Beau, Lank came around the corner with a hammer in his hand, nails between his teeth, surprise reflected on his face when he saw her. Shoving the nails into one pocket, he asked, “What’re you up to? Taking Beau for a ride? Want some company?” His stare was bold and the look on his face hopeful.
Carli’s stomach did a flip flop, which caused her to grit her teeth and ignore his eyes. She’d actually love to go out for the day with Lank. But she’d just fired the guy only a few days before and promised herself she would try to act more professional, distance herself because of the employer/employee relationship.
Concentrating on brushing Beau, she remained quiet, staring at the horse’s side to give herself time to think of a reply. Lank waited.
She swung the saddle blanket in place. Finally, Carli said, in her employer voice, “Actually, I’m meeting Nathan.” Why did she even tell him that? It was none of his business what she did or who she did it with.
Lank lowered his head a bit, then looked up through dark lashes. She almost melted when she saw the disappointment on his handsome face.
“I don’t want to create any problems between you and your boyfriend, boss. I’ve got work to do.” With that, he turned and walked away.
Carli’s chest ached. Darn, she hated when he called her “boss” and Nathan wasn’t her boyfriend. The man was intolerable. He could wipe away her calm spirit with just one encounter. She pursed her lips with annoyance. Would they ever figure this out and feel comfortable with each other? She had to let it go for now because she was running late to meet Nathan.
“C’mon, Beau, let’s go.” She looped his lead rope around the fence rail and left to hitch the trailer. Within minutes she was on her way to the Rafter O and then remembered she forgot to bid her apologies to Lola for ditching class. But as Nathan had pointed out, why would she want to be cooped up in a class bending her body in strange contortions when she could be riding her horse across the Texas Plains? It really was a no-brainer.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Wearing a ballcap, her honey-colored braid trailing down her back, Carli loved the warm sun on her face. It had been a hard winter. And that snowstorm! Ugh, she didn’t want to remember how cold she had been. She could’ve died really. But today she would put those bad memories out of her head. And she flat re
fused to think about Lank. Instead, she focused on the cowboy riding along with her as they made their way across a pasture on the Rafter O ranch.
Nathan and his horse came loping behind her. He looked good, but then he always dressed with all the necessary Texas cowboy gear. Western hat, tan hide chaps, boots, and spurs. Which reminded Carli, she needed to find a leather worker who could make her a pair of chaps. Nathan wore a blue wool vest with the Rafter O brand. She couldn’t help but notice his tanned face, broad shoulders. What woman wouldn’t go for him? Plus, he was a genuinely nice guy. Why do I always make things so difficult? Just pick the nice guy. For some reason, she couldn’t. Her mind grappled for a second. It wasn’t that Lank wasn’t a nice guy. It was just that every time he opened his mouth, he was so aggravating and then when he looked at her...
“I’m glad you’re here, Carli.”
“Thanks for the invite.” She tipped her face to the sun and willed her thoughts to quiet. “I didn’t realize how long it’s been since Beau and I were out of the corral.”
Within minutes they were in the saddle and Nathan was leading her through Rafter O headquarters towards the gate on the far end.
He smiled. And kept staring at her. She swiped at the wispy strands over her face that had come loose from under the ballcap.
They rode in silence. Carli followed Nathan as he wormed his way in and around the group of heifers that foraged on the patches of new green growing in between the brown winter grasses and yucca. Most of the soon-to-be first-time momma cows looked like they were about to pop, big bellies swinging from side to side as they lumbered along. There were two that seemed less fat. Nathan explained that their calves had turned to line up with the birth canal. He’d have to keep a special watch on them.
“Let’s ride up the hill. I want to show you something and we can take a break.”
They slowed to a trot as they made their way up a shallow slope, stopping to pass through the wire gate next to a cattle guard. Carli asked, “Where are we going?”
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