“Well, you know, Buck likes his hot stuff. I made tamales like I normally do, but he adds jalapeños and hot chilis, and who knows what all when my back is turned. And he loves salt and onions. If he has acid reflux, coffee can be bothersome; it’s acidic. He may have to make some huge changes.”
“Wow, what’s left?" Lank chimed in. "I doubt Buck is gonna start eating salads. And a panic attack? He is the calmest, most laid-back man I know.”
“Well, he may just have to make a few changes!” Lola was stern. “I won’t have him scaring me like this. Or taking risks with his health. I want him around for years to come. Wait till he gets home. I’m gonna be watching him like a hawk. And you know what, Carli? One day soon it might be time to talk about Buck taking on fewer physical duties around the ranch. It may be Lank's turn to step up to the plate. Think about it. Buck and I are not getting any younger.”
Carli had never seen Lola like this—wound up and marching forward on a campaign for good health, all fueled by intense love for her husband.
“I want to stay here with Buck overnight. When they move him to a room, I could nap in a chair. You two go on back to the ranch.”
“You sure you want to do that, Lola? You don’t have anything with you—toothbrush, PJs,” Carli pointed out.
“We can come right back with anything you need,” Lank offered.
Lola nodded. “I’ll be fine. The nurses can probably find me a toothbrush. You go on home. I’m not leaving him.”
“I’ll bring my truck around.” Lank hugged Lola and left through the sliding glass doors.
“Someone can come pick us both up tomorrow as soon as they release him to go home. And, Carli, thanks for staying with me. You mean the world to us, me and Buck. You're like the daughter we never had.”
The two women hugged and then Carli headed outside to the parking lot, her eyes glistening as she thought of Buck and Lola and how much they meant to her.
Lank parked under the portico, and Carli climbed in.
“I'm worried about Buck and Lola. And you,” he muttered.
Things were crashing in on her—all her fears about losing Buck, and everything that had been on her mind about the ranch. She felt herself almost collapsing.
Leaning on Lank, he put his arm around her and held her close. Her face buried into his shoulder, tears dampened his shirt.
“Oh, Lank, I was so afraid we might lose him.”
He stroked her hair and held her head to his chest. “It’s okay now, Carli. I’ve got you. Don’t worry. He’ll be fine.”
“Thank you, Lank, for coming.” She looked up into his smoky-blue eyes that were filled with compassion.
Draping her arms around his neck, she didn’t want to let go. They sat there for several moments while she regained control of herself. She was always the tough one. No emotion. No girly tears. But this had shaken her to the core. She was learning more and more every day about what it meant to be part of a family.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The pillow was soft, squishy, and cool. Carli buried her face under the covers. Just one more minute. But a crick in her shoulder made it impossible to fall back asleep. Stretching her neck, she reached to flip her long hair around from under her. She savored the big mattress glad she had added a four-inch pillow top cushion to it when she had first set up the room.
Was that whining? Scratching at the side of the bed. Oh geez, the dog. What dog?
Rolling over to the side of the bed to peek through one eye, full on licking to her face commenced.
“What are you doing here? S’pose you have to go out now, huh? Can’t you let me sleep, dog? Please.”
The black and white furball wiggled from tail to nose tip, with a smile Carli couldn’t ignore.
“I guess my nap is over. All right, all right. Let's go, just for a minute.”
Carli flung her legs to the floor and stepped into fuzzy pink Ugg slippers. Earlier she had gotten comfy in her favorite green flowery/froggy PJ bottoms, a reminder of her Georgia days, on sale at Belk Department store. An extra-large, extra-long, gray sweatshirt served as a robe over her tank top. What an outfit. She didn’t care and didn’t think she’d run into anyone. Lola and Buck were still at the hospital and Lank was probably out doing chores.
“Make it quick,” Carli instructed as the wiggly ball of fur hopped and spun in front of the door. For the life of her, she couldn’t remember its name. R.J.? L.J.? Lank had called her something else besides the initials. Lily! That was it.
“C’mon, Lily. Let’s go out. Now don’t run off. Just pee pee and right back in. Okay?”
The dog was so excited—jumping, whirling, wagging, panting, smiling.
Carli couldn’t help but smile also. This pup was super cute. How could anyone witnessing this explosion of life not smile? As a kid she had asked for a dog but the Fitzgeralds always said no. “They make such a mess,” her foster mom had said. “Dog hair everywhere. Usually not even housebroken. Who’s going to take care of a dog? Surely not me.”
Just about every child she knew—in school, at church, at the horse barn, everyone—had a dog, cat, gerbil, goldfish, some kind of animal. Not her. As much as she begged, Carli never won the debate. So, she stopped asking. Stopped hoping for a dog, instead focused on her horseback riding and dreamt of the day she could afford a horse of her own.
She followed the bouncing fur ball out into a bright, late afternoon. If it hadn’t been for the worry about Buck in the back of her mind, she would've lingered on the porch for a while. As she admired the white clouds drifting across the bright blue Texas sky, the jingle of spurs approaching jolted her attention. She turned around as the dog scampered towards Lank. Oh, geez! Carli clutched her sweatshirt closer across her chest and hustled to gather up the frisky pup. “Why is your dog in my house?”
Lank scooped L.J. up into his arms. “She ran off. I found her on your front porch, but she kept begging to go in, so I let her.”
“You opened my house and let your dog in? Into my house? What is wrong with you?” Forgetting about modesty as she only focused on picking up the dog, she stomped closer, which left her sweatshirt to its own devices, flying open.
Lank’s eyes surveyed her cuteness. “You never lock your door. Nice outfit, cowgirl. Frogs? And could you find a pinker pair of slippers?”
“The pinker the better is my motto.” She had really come to dislike that silly, smart aleck grin. So why did it make her heart flutter? She bent down to grab hold of the rambunctious animal that was all wiggles, tongue, and sharky teeth. Lily spun around and around between them, nipping at the toes of Carli's house shoes.
“Owww!” The pup nipped right through the slipper into Carli’s toe. “I’m just trying to get my dog. I don’t have enough hands!”
“Your dog? Is that what you just said, Ms. Jameson?” Now he chuckled.
“Uh, huh. I don’t know. I guess she’s your dog.” Shaking her head, Carli punched his arm and turned towards her house. “Take your dog, Lank. I’ve got to get dressed and find out if Lola needs anything. Can you manage without Buck for a few days? Or however long the doc says. When Lola calls, I’ll go pick them up.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” he saluted with a grin, wiggly pup in his arms.
Inside she poured a mug of coffee, started to check her iPad for emails, when she noticed her cellphone buzzing. The hospital, and she had missed it. Darn. She tried the main number and asked for Buck’s room, but no one answered.
Out of her stretchy frog pants, teeth brushed, dab of lip gloss, hair drawn up into a ponytail, she threw on jeans, Tee-shirt, and boots—and flew out the door.
As she walked to her vehicle, she looked across the compound and first saw his strong back stretching a white Tee-shirt to its limits, his long denim-clad legs kneeling, torso bent at the waist as he maneuvered a tool on the tractor. His voice reached her ears in the calm air. Was he praying? Talking to the tractor? She heard a one-sided conversation.
“Now, lady, don’t
you worry. You’re very important to me. I’d do anything for you. You know that don’t you?”
Heat rose in Carli’s chest, up through her neck, eyes squinting. What did he say? He’d do anything for her? She was about to turn and leave when he noticed her standing there.
Grease-covered hands, he crooked a shoulder to cradle a cellphone to his ear. “Okay, Lola, I’ll tell her. She’s right here. You guys take it easy and we’ll see tomorrow.”
Lola? She tried to hide any surprise or awkwardness so he wouldn’t see it plastered all over her face. Was it jealousy? Wonder if it had been a girl? What about earlier this afternoon and how she felt in the safety of his arms at the hospital when she nearly collapsed and lost it right there in the parking lot?
He looked at her, and they stood in an awkward moment of silence. An idea made his face light up and he walked closer. “Are you jealous, Ms. Jameson? You thought I was talking to another girl?”
“No. Why would you say that? It doesn’t surprise me you talk to our equipment, though.” She giggled. “I missed Lola’s call. What time should I leave to pick them up?”
“You don’t have to go now, Carli.” He stood and faced her. “She has everything she needs, and Buck is demanding to go home, so he’s much better. That’s why Lola called. Some members from their church wanted to help so they’ve got a ride home in the morning.”
Carli wanted to outline exercises for the riding school students. That hug from Jared had motivated her. But then she looked at Lank and thought of how he had held her so tight, so comforting in the hospital parking lot and let her cry. She needed to say something to him about that.
Lank knelt down again next to the tractor and got back to his ratchet and grease.
“I guess I was really freaked out with all the excitement. I was afraid we might lose Buck. He’s been such an important person in my life ever since I first came to Texas. He’s always there for me. Almost like a father. And I was so sad for Lola, to think what it would be like for her to lose him. It was all so scary.”
He still didn’t say anything but turned slightly to look at her.
When she saw his blue-gray eyes, she went on. “Thank you for being there for me, Lank.”
Quietly he said, “Always,” then went back to his work.
Her heart filled, but her mind was conflicted. Stay or go?
“I’ll see you later. I’ve got work to do.”
She thought she heard him murmur, “Mm-hmm.”
What she hadn’t told Lank was that she never let people inside her life or heart as much as she had with Lola and Buck. She always guarded herself before. No friends, no complications. But now, her barriers were coming down. The Wild Cow Ranch family had grabbed her and they weren’t letting go.
Chapter Thirty-Five
For the thousandth time, Carli looked at the old phone book with the address and listing for what she thought was her birth father’s family home. She hadn’t the nerve to drive by it in Dixon yet. But she would. It had to be them. She forced herself to return the book to its place in the cabinet, an effort to get her mind off the possibility of ever meeting her birth father. Like somehow a dark space could erase it from her mind. She turned on her computer. While she waited for Buck and Lola to return home from the hospital, she needed to work on riding school business.
Carli loved lists, so she made one for the equine school. Reading about therapeutic riding, maybe she could use some of the ideas. She'd get a few of those colorful, foam cylinders—swimming "noodles" that people held onto in the water. Attach them to a tree, five or six across, and horse and rider could walk through them like a beaded curtain entryway. It was a great way to desensitize horse and rider, teach patience and calm.
She typed on her iPad:
Hula hoops for horses to step through on the ground.
Pieces of plywood to use as a bridge for horses to walk over.
Mailboxes to open and close.
A corn toss-like game using Beany Babies.
Balls to catch.
Big exercise balls for horses to walk around.
What else did they need? Some websites showed kids and horses dressed in costumes for holidays, Halloween especially. That would be fun. She’d seen photos of horses covered with sheets, holes cut out for eyes and ears. Hopefully, the trailing sheet wouldn’t spook anyone. Carli chuckled at her unintended pun.
The older girls crossed her mind. Where would Lexi and Bianca go for this kind of fun? Did Dixon have a teenager hangout? When she was young, she was always at the horse barn, but the other kids in her school went to dances, bowling alleys, and movies. None of those activities had held any appeal for her. No one ever invited her anyway and it was all in the past now.
Maybe the teens would just need mentoring time—cleaning tack, cleaning the barn, cleaning the horses, riding, hanging out. And hopefully, talking about whatever was bugging them at home.
Carli’s cellphone buzzed. She saw the name and said to herself, “What now?" Then she hit the speaker button. "Hello, Sheriff. How are you?”
“Carli Jameson.” Sheriff Anderson was all business and usually skipped the niceties. “I’ve got a girl named Lexi in custody, says she’s one of your riding students. She’s asking for you instead of her mother.”
“I’m on my way.”
Carli clicked off the computer and located her purse and keys, turmoil in her mind about the riding school. Trouble with a student made her doubt everything again. If she hadn’t invited the girl to the Wild Cow, then she wouldn’t be involved in whatever was troubling this young lady. Lexi had a mother after all, and Carli felt that getting involved in their family issues might complicate things and make the situation worse. How could this ever end well?
Every time she felt on track something derailed her spirit and sent her off course. Is this really something God wanted her to do, or was she trying to bring a part of her old life from Georgia to Texas? And through the riding school she now added the complication of Lexi. Whatever it was, she needed to decide and either commit to these kids or drop the whole thing. She didn’t know which.
Barely noticing the colors of the setting sun, she sailed through the little town of Dixon and parked her truck near the small Sheriff’s Office. It would be dark soon and with the absence of light the evening would get cooler. She forgot to grab a jacket. Then she remembered to pray a quick plea that Lexi was all right. She’d been learning that with intentional practice, praying was becoming somewhat of a habit.
“Lord, please help Lexi and please help me to say the right things to steer her out of trouble and onto the right path. Lead her in the right direction. Thank you.”
She yanked on the heavy door and walked into a beige world that smelled of fruity disinfectant trying to mask an old musty building.
Inside, Sheriff Anderson shook her hand and offered her a seat.
“We’ve been following that kid, John Gibbons—'Raven'—and came across him and Lexi walking in town, looked like they were headed to a bar. Lexi’s underage, you know. When we searched him, we found pot and meth. She was clean. Technically, she wasn’t arrested but I brought her in to give her a scare.”
“Is that legal, Sheriff?”
“In a small town like Dixon, I’m the law. I didn’t lie to her. Said I wanted to bring her to the station for questioning. She voluntarily agreed.”
“What’s gonna happen to Raven?”
“He’s got priors. But he’s not eighteen yet. He’ll probably go back to juvie for a while, but his big brother sprung him already.”
“Can I see her?”
“She’s only fifteen. I’m obligated to contact her mother, but in order to calm her down I promised we’d call you first.”
“Thanks, Sheriff. We will call her mother. Let me speak with Lexi for a few minutes first.”
Carli walked through the door a deputy held open into a small, secure room where Lexi sat hunched over a table, her head resting on her arms. The room was cold, bare, and
beige. It was everything she could do to not burst into tears when she saw the young girl sitting there all alone.
“Lexi?”
Tousled hair, red marks on her face from leaning on her arms, and teary eyes, Lexi straightened in the chair but didn’t say a word. A flash of relief showed on her face, and then as if embarrassed, her eyes went downcast.
“Are you okay?” Carli walked closer.
“Yes.”
“I’m so glad you’re all right.” Carli dropped into the chair across the table. “We have to call your mother and let her know you’re okay. She must be worried. How long have you been gone?”
“I texted her yesterday, said I’d be spending the night at a girlfriend’s.”
“Lexi, remember the talk we had about life decisions?”
“Yes.”
“Where do you think you’ll end up after all the lies and hanging out with a guy who does drugs and gets arrested?”
“I dunno.”
“Here, Lexi." Carli raised her hands to point to the whole room. "This is where you’ll end up. In jail! Raven’s gone. Somebody paid his bail and you’re still sitting in jail. He left you here alone.” The situation made Carli furious, but then guilt washed over her as she saw a tear run down the girl’s cheek. She hated to nag someone when they were at their lowest, but reality is the pits and Lexi needed some real-world lessons. “I thought you liked horses and my ranch.”
“I do.”
“Well, you can’t do the things you love if you’re messing up like this. Your mother will never trust you if you keep lying.”
Lexi avoided Carli’s stare at first, looking all around—down at her hands, watching some speck on the wall. What in the world was going on in the girl's mind, Carli had not a clue. And then Lexi gazed into Carli’s eyes. Silence hung in the room like an awkward shroud, but Carli was not going to give her any sympathy. She just hoped and prayed Raven hadn’t turned her into an addict yet, if she was doing drugs with him.
Finally, Lexi whispered, “Okay.”
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