21
Three days later …
Ethan whizzed past on his bike. He squealed with excitement. Alice waved while watching how the little boy pedaled like mad. Suddenly a movement caught her attention.
Was that …?
No.
Shit.
He leaned up against a tree on the other side of the path and waved at Ethan as he sped past. “Uncle Gage, Uncle Gage!” Ethan yelled; turning the bike, he headed back, stopping next to his uncle.
Gage ruffled Ethan’s hair. The gesture reminded her so much of Ash. The two of them talked for a few minutes. Ethan giggled a couple of times. Alice could make out a word here and there. “Watch me!” Ethan yelled, heading back out on his bike.
“Okay!” Gage yelled back. Ethan sped off, little legs pumping the pedals. He sped up the small hill and zoomed down, squealing all the way. “No wheels!” the little boy yelled.
Gage clapped his hands. “By wheels, I’m sure he means training wheels, right?” He glanced over at her.
Alice cradled her stomach and stood up. More like lumbered up to her feet as quickly as a pregnant woman was able.
“No need to get up on my account.” His face morphed into an expression of concern and he held out his hand like he wanted to catch her.
“Weeee!” Ethan shouted as he rode past.
“Looking good!” Alice cupped her hands around her mouth and called out.
Ethan laughed, continuing to pedal hard. What did she do now? Make small-talk with Gage?
“I came over to apologize for my behavior at the Dark Horse.”
“That was months ago,” she responded, hoping he would just leave.
“It doesn’t matter. I still owe you an apology. I guess I could see that he had feelings for you and it freaked me out a little.” Gage kept his eyes on Ethan, waving when the boy glanced over at them.
“No, I think you must be mistaken.” She shook her head. There was no way Ash had feelings for her back then. Heck, she doubted he had feelings for her now. Not beyond friendship anyhow.
“Nope, definitely not mistaken.”
“We weren’t … serious back then. We were just …” She let the sentence die. This wasn’t something she should be discussing with Gage. Ash wouldn’t like it. It didn’t feel right.
“It might not have been serious, but the way he looked at you,” Gage shook his head, “his possessive behavior. It was all a dead giveaway.” He sighed. “I guess I didn’t want him to make the same mistakes I did but I went about it the wrong way. So …” He waved at Ethan as he sped past and then looked her way. It was eerie how similar they looked. Although there were subtle differences. Gage had more of those golden flecks around his irises. It made his eyes look lighter than Ash’s. “Here I am. I’m sorry I said some of the things I didn’t mean. Things I should never have said, even if I was trying to prove a point,” he said the last more for himself, it seemed.
“Don’t worry about it. Thank you for taking the time to apologize, I appreciate it.”
“Did Ash tell you what happened? Did he tell you about Savannah and me?”
She nodded. “He told me about Savannah. I don’t know that I should be talking to you about this though.” It really didn’t feel right.
“I’ve been an idiot. It’s taken me a very long time to see it. To finally get over myself and to realize a few things.”
“You should talk to Ash about it.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He nodded. “It’s been too long. We were always so close. Thick as thieves as the saying goes, until …” he kicked the dirt with the toe of his boot, “until Savannah came along.” He swallowed thickly.
“You’re not blaming her, are you?”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “That’s on me. I’m the idiot in all of this.”
What the fuck was Gage doing talking to his female?
His!
Why the fuck was Alice talking back to Gage? Why was she smiling? Why the hell was she touching his arm? A roar was torn from him.
Ethan skidded to a halt, his little eyes wide. Ash curled his hands into fists. He sucked in a couple of deep breaths, trying hard to get himself back under control when in reality he wanted to pulverize Gage’s face. Wanted to make the fucker beg for mercy.
“You need to go to the house.” He glanced at Alice. “Ethan, you go with Alice, son.” His voice was deep. His teeth felt overly large in his mouth. His skin prickled with the need to erupt. His gaze was fixed on Gage.
“Your brother was just apologizing to me for the things he said before.” Alice was forcing a smile. He didn’t want her upset. Didn’t want her stressed ‒ about anything ‒ certainly not this.
“Good to know,” Ash said. “You go with Ethan to the house.” He forced a smile of his own. “Gage and I need to have a chat.”
Alice narrowed her eyes. “You won’t hurt him, will you?”
Her question reminded him too much of something Savannah would’ve said back in the day. Be nice to him. Don’t hurt him. You need to try to fix things with your brother. “I told you to stay away from her,” he warned under his breath.
“I’m not trying to win her from you.”
“You had …” His voice was a deep growl. Ethan was watching. He pulled in a deep breath. His son loved his uncle. They had a close relationship. Ash didn’t want his son to see them arguing.
“I’ll go,” Alice nodded, “but only because I think the two of you need to talk. It’s long overdue.” She walked over to Ethan. “Let’s go inside and wash up for lunch. I’ll make you a grilled cheese sandwich.”
“Yum. Can you put ketchup on it?”
“Oh yes, indeed.” Alice smiled at Ethan but when she glanced at him, her face morphed into one of concern. Concern for him or for his brother?
Ethan took hold of her hand and they walked past them. There was a time not so long ago that his son would’ve checked with him first. Not anymore. Ethan looked up at Alice, something that looked very much like adoration flared in his eyes. His heart swelled and his gut churned.
“You rode your bike like a champ,” she praised, pushing his bike with her other hand.
“No wheels,” Ethan said.
Alice chuckled. “No training wheels.”
“I a big boy. I’m four.” He held up four fingers.
Alice chuckled. “I know, I was at your party, remember?” She glanced back at him. Ash nodded once.
As soon as the door closed, he turned back to Gage. “What are you doing sniffing around my female?”
Gage put his hands up as a show of submission. “I came to apologize … and I guess,” he paused, “I hoped to talk with Alice.”
Ash fucking knew it. He knew it. “You have nothing to talk to Alice about. Sweet fuck all!” He tried to keep his voice down. Aware that his neighbors would hear them.
“Let’s go for a walk.” It seemed Gage was thinking the same.
“I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Well, I have a couple of things I need to say to you.”
Fuck! This was the last thing he needed. The last thing he wanted. “Fine,” he all but growled. “You have five minutes.”
They walked a short way before Gage stopped and faced him. “I needed to apologize to you as well.”
Ash folded his arms.
Gage’s Adam’s apple worked. “I did have feelings for Savannah.”
“I don’t want to talk about this. What’s done is done. Can’t we just move on? Savannah is dead and buried.”
Gage shook his head. “No, I don’t think we can. Savannah is gone but we are still very much alive.” Gage looked up at the canopy overhead for a few seconds. “If I am being honest with you and myself, I fucking loved Savannah,” he choked out as he looked Ash in the face. “Loved her so much.”
Ash growled loudly, the sound filled the clearing. “I don’t want to hear this. It’s just going to fuck me off. It’s not going to clear the air between us. It’s going to mak
e things worse. Stop now before I hurt you.”
“You need to hear what I have to say, and I need to say it.”
“Fine! If you loved her so damned much, why did you break things off with her?” Ash asked. “Why did you tell me to go after her? Worst of all, for years you’ve been telling me that I stole her from you.”
“Savannah always loved you. It was always you. I knew it. I could see how she looked at you, even while she and I were together.”
Ash narrowed his eyes. “You broke things off so that Savannah and I could be together? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yeah,” Gage nodded, “I did it for her. For both of you. It fucked me up though.”
“Let me get this straight. You broke up with her. Encouraged me to go after her. Then you acted like I stole her from you. What the fuck, Gage?” Ash ran a hand through his hair.
His brother’s eyes clouded. “Yeah, I’m a dick! A class-A dick. The problem was that I only realized how much I loved her when it was too late. Only once I’d pushed her away. Only once the two of you were serious. I should have known though. That’s how it works for us bears, sometimes our animal chooses but it can take a while for our human side to catch up. I realized I’d fucked up, but it was too late, so I took it out on you. On both of you ‒ and it was wrong.”
“You’re damn right it was wrong. Do you have any idea how much you hurt Savannah? How many times she cried because of something you said? A nasty comment. A snide remark. You hurt her.”
“Yeah,” Gage huffed out a breath, “I know. I wish I could take it all back. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I’ve made my peace with Savannah.” His voice broke. “I want to make things right between us now. I also want to warn you.”
“Warn me about what?” He frowned.
“Alice.”
“Don’t say her name,” he snarled. “You stay far away from her.” He pointed a finger at Gage’s face.
“I’m not here to try to take her from you.” Gage shook his head. “It’s not like that. Not that I would be able to, even if I tried, that female loves you.” He pushed his hands into his front jean pockets.
Ash clenched his jaw. “I don’t want to discuss Alice with you.”
“You’re scared. It’s understandable.”
“I definitely don’t want to discuss my feelings with you.” Fuck that!
“Then just listen. You’re afraid. You don’t want to give too much of yourself to her just in case something goes wrong.”
“You don’t know a thing about how things are between Alice and me.”
“I can scent that you’re not having sex. I know that Ethan sleeps with you at night. The kid is only four years old, he talks. He talks about everything when he’s over at my place. I know stuff. I know things are not as they should be between the two of you.”
Ash ground his teeth.
“I don’t blame you for holding back, but that’s not how it works. That’s not how love works.”
“What the fuck would you know about love?” Ash growled. He didn’t want to hear this.
“I know a ton about love. I was scared too once. So afraid of letting go, of trusting someone else with my heart that I pushed her away and into the arms of another male. I went on to blame everyone else for that fucked up decision. I was to blame.” He hit his fist against his chest. “It was all my fault. I’ve had to live with the regret. Maybe nothing would’ve come of it if I’d put myself out there, and maybe things would’ve turned out differently. I’ll never know.” Gage was blinking hard. His eyes glistened. “I pushed my brother away. I fucked things up between us,” he growled as his cheeks became wet. Gage turned and wiped his face. “I’m such a fucking pussy.” His shoulders shook. He wiped his face again. His lashes glistened. “I’m fucking this up too.” He sucked in a deep breath. “Please don’t make the same mistakes I made. Don’t push Alice away. You need to start listening to your bear side. The two of you could be amazing together. Ethan already loves her.”
“I know,” Ash choked the words out. His throat suddenly felt clogged with emotion. “She loved you too, you know?”
“What?” Gage frowned.
“I think Savannah loved you as well,” he groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. “No, she definitely loved you. I knew you felt more for her than you were willing to admit to and I dived in any way. It was fucked up … the whole thing was seriously messed up, but I think she loved us both in her own way. She and I were good together. We were great together, but there was always a part of her that belonged to you. That would always belong to you no matter what I did. I guess …” he looked Gage in the eyes, “I was jealous. It was a seed that grew. I’ve been just as much at fault over these last few years. I pushed you away too. I nurtured the anger. The hate. I’ve always been jealous of what the two of you had. Of what you could’ve had.”
Gage shook his head. “It was you. It was always you for Savannah.”
“Trust me,” Ash locked eyes with his brother, “I caught her watching you. The look in her eyes, it was the same way she looked at me. She loved us both.”
“Thank you,” Gage said. He looked as if a weight had been lifted. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“You’re right,” Ash set his teeth, “I’ve been messing things up with Alice. I need to talk to her.”
“You need to do a lot more than talk, you need to grovel some too. On your knees would be good.” Gage smiled.
“We’ll start with a conversation.” Ash smiled back, his throat still felt raw. “Yes, I think going on my knees might be a good idea. Thank you, Gage.” They hugged.
Gage slapped him on the back as they stepped away from each other. “I’ll watch Ethan for you.”
22
Gage smiled at Ethan. “Wow, did Alice make you that amazing sandwich?”
“It’s cheese,” Ethan said it more like ‘cheeth’ than ‘cheese’. He smiled, all teeth. Then he blew on the bread, sending spit flying. “It’s hot,” he stated while blowing some more.
“How about we go and eat that outside?” Gage asked. “Better yet, let’s go to my house. I have a really cool movie I’ve been saving for us.”
“A movie?” Ethan’s eyes widened with excitement. He glanced at his dad. Ash gave the thumbs up.
Butterflies bashed around inside her stomach. They were big and boisterous. What was going on? What was that look Ash had just given Gage? It was like they were on the same page about something. Moreover, it was like they were conspiring. Lord only knew what was going on. It was weird. Especially considering just a few minutes ago they were at each other’s throats. This wasn’t right. Something was up, and it worried her.
“Can I go?” Ethan asked her. “To Uncle Gage’s house. I’m still eating.”
Oh goodness! Her eyes filled with tears. Ethan was checking with her even though his dad had already given him permission. She’d been there a while and spent a lot of time with Ethan. Alice looked after him, dressed him in the morning and made his meals. It seemed she had made some kind of impression in that time. “Yes,” her voice sounded a tad choked, “just this once.” She normally didn’t let him run around while he was eating. “Take your food with you. It will have cooled down enough to eat by the time you get there.”
“Okay.” He nodded in that exaggerated way only a four-year-old could manage.
The door closed behind them and those butterflies went completely wild. Alice almost felt a bit ill.
“Are you okay?” Ash asked. “Can I get you anything? Water?”
“No, I’m fine.” She put a hand to her belly. “We’re fine.” She gave it a rub. “I’m just wondering what the heck is going on. That’s all.”
"Let's sit down." As per usual, Ash wore his jeans and nothing else. Even his feet were bare. As usual, and despite her nerves, she tried not to notice how good-looking he was. How broad his shoulders were, how defined his pecs and abs looked. She definitely refused to notice the smattering of hair that led fro
m his belly button, disappearing beneath the clasp on his jeans.
Especially since he wasn’t attracted to her now that she was pregnant. Don’t think about that now, Alice! She sat down on the far side of the couch.
“Did you say you wanted something to drink?” Ash got to his feet in one graceful move.
“I’m fine.” She swallowed thickly. “What’s going on? It looks like you and Gage have worked things out.” That wasn’t all. There was more, she could feel it. For weeks she’d been waiting for something to give one way or the other. Suddenly, she wasn’t so sure. Flip! She had serious feelings for Ash. It was something she’d tried hard to ignore but it wasn’t going away. It was getting worse. It didn’t matter that they weren’t sleeping together. It just made her want him more. She wasn’t ready for a ‘Dear John’ conversation. Not just yet. Please no!
“Yes, he explained a couple of things. We were finally honest with one another.” Ash smiled for a second before becoming serious. “We can talk about that later. I need you to know that I was given an ultimatum,” Ash said.
“When? What kind of ultimatum. Was it Gage?”
“Back when we found out you were pregnant. I was told to convince you to come back to the village or I would be excommunicated.”
“You mean, I’m here because …” she swallowed hard, trying to process what he was saying, “because you had no other choice but to bring me?”
Ash nodded. “It was either bring you here, or give up Ethan and live in Sweetwater to keep an eye on you. In order to stay close to the babies.”
“So …” Hurt filled her. It threatened to overflow inside her. To consume her. With the pain came anger. Hot and burning. “You should never have brought me here then. What right do you have to mess with a person’s feelings like that? I thought you wanted to give us a try. I thought you loved these babies, at the very least.” She shook her head. Feeling her eyes prick and then overflow. That had been quick. Then again, she was a hormonal mess. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t blame the hormones. Not this time.
Shifter Night Box Set: Complete Set (Book 1 - 3) Page 33
