Jane greeted them outside and soon the other sisters joined them in the parlor as Jane left to speak with Mrs. Hill to prepare for Mr. Darcy’s joining them for dinner. Kitty and Mary stayed for nearly an hour and all the sisters spoke of many things with the man. When they left Jane and Elizabeth alone with the man, he answered Jane’s questions about Mr. Bingley and Darcy told of his friend’s regrets in leaving Netherfield and of Caroline’s deception in keeping Jane and Bingley apart.
Darcy continued to speak with Elizabeth until nearly nine when he thanked her and the others before turning to leave. The full moon would make his ride back to Meryton an easy one but now it was very cold. Still, he was warmed by being in her presence and knew the way back to Meryton. As Elizabeth followed him outside, she asked him to return the morrow for a late breakfast and that she wished to spend more time with him before he returned to Darcy House.
When she returned to her room after Darcy left the house, Jane soon entered behind her.
“Oh, Lizzy, what can it mean? I have never been so surprised as seeing you ride up to the house practically sitting on Mr. Darcy’s lap. What has come over you and why is he here?”
“He said he thought I had died in the accident. Others have believed the same, but he said he saw me in town recently whilst I was riding in the Gardiner’s carriage.”
“Do you believe he would have come here if he had not seen you in town recently?”
“Yes, Jane, for I believe he wanted closure to everything.”
“But he had already decided to leave Netherfield. He did not wish our company. It seems as if you are forgiving him. And are you certain he wishes closure? His sudden appearance suggests something else.”
“We have spoken of Mr. Darcy often, Jane. I have told you that I fear that I have wronged him, and that my prejudice took over. He apologized for his remark at the Meryton Assembly when he said I was tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt him. He said he thought otherwise before the evening ended. Jane, I believe he cares for me.”
“What can you mean by saying such a thing, Lizzy? You said all these months that you hated him, so why the change?”
“There was no reason for him to come into Hertfordshire. He was kind and I was not unhappy to see him. Now I understand the reasons that he and Mr. Wickham were at odds. Jane, both of us and many others have been fooled by George Wickham, and to think that I held the man in esteem over Mr. Darcy. I am so ashamed of how I treated him. It appears that Mr. Darcy has all the goodness but the other man only has the appearance of it. Do you not remember what I told you after visiting Lambton and Pemberley last summer with the Gardiners? That was when I first understood that Mr. Darcy was a good man.”
She told of other things too and of Mr. Bingley. Jane cried to learn that the man’s sisters may have conspired to keep her and their brother apart and she broke down when Elizabeth told that Darcy believes that Mr. Bingley still loves her.
“I do not know what to believe, Lizzy. Do you believe that he might return to Netherfield?”
“Mr. Darcy will join us for breakfast in the morning, so I suppose we may learn more before he returns to town. He did mention that he wishes to see us in town soon, so I expect he and Bingley might entertain us when we next visit the Gardiners. We should see how it goes at breakfast and then we shall know what to do.”
Jane seemed satisfied with all she had learnt. She still loved Charles Bingley and there was still hope for both of them. Later she returned to her room leaving Elizabeth alone with her thoughts.
She furrowed her brow as she tried to understand why she had thought of him so often after he left Netherfield. It made no sense that she should think on a man she hated, but she kept her feelings in a safe place, even as she scolded herself privately of her thoughts. Darcy had told her that he returned because he missed her, but Elizabeth was certain that she had missed him as well. Had he not conspired with Bingley’s sisters to leave Netherfield and leave her sister with a broken heart? He also had insulted her beauty at the Meryton Assembly with his remark on her being just tolerable.
Elizabeth found sleep difficult for thoughts of Mr. Darcy’s sudden appearance kept her awake. Over these many months she had reassessed her feelings for him and found that she no longer hated him. She wished he had appeared clean shaven, but his appearance this day gave her hope for Jane and Mr. Bingley and her heart welcomed his presence back in her life. Elizabeth no longer saw the man as the same proud and haughty man she knew from a year ago. Neither was he so stiff and aloof, but now he was kind and considerate and she observed from his countenance that he was a changed man and that he even smiled occasionally. She still pondered his arrival but that night she hoped he would visit her in her dreams and she would awake eager to see him again.
For Darcy, he could not have been more pleased. Elizabeth was alive and now he could live knowing that she was well, but that was not all. She was different and he believed they got on well. One look at her told him he was still in love with her and she appeared happy to see him. He rode with her on his horse and she was practically in his arms. It was the closest he had ever been to her and he knew he was in danger. What he did not know was that Elizabeth experienced similar feelings and stirrings and was attracted to him physically as he was to her. He would dream of her and ride to Longbourn in the morning, but sleep did not come easily.
Ever since he returned to town those many months ago, Darcy had hidden his distress as best he could by rigid self-control, but he was drawn to this lively young woman with a wit and intelligence like no other woman before. Her light and pleasing figure and her easy playful manner and vivacious spirit had shaken his world and nearly done him in. Darcy wondered if his prayers had been responsible for his seeing her today and he knew that in those talks with his maker that he offered up himself and all his fortune if he would but make Elizabeth alive. Somehow his talks must have worked, for here she was, and both of them seemed to enjoy each other’s company.
Now he let his mind wander and he remembered seeing her at Netherfield when she came to visit her sick sister. Darcy would never forget seeing her when she cleared a copse of trees and how his heart thumped wildly as they nearly walked into each other. Her face was flushed and her petticoats were muddy from the trudge from Longbourn and her hair had come out of its pins and was unruly. It was her bright eyes though that he would never forget. That was the moment he knew he must have her in his life, and not just for himself, but also for Georgiana.
What is the meaning of this, Lizzy, to have invited Mr. Darcy into our home whilst your mother and I have been away? You cannot be excused for such a fault as this. We are still on probation in these parts after your sister’s infamous elopement, but now you invited that scoundrel into our house. Do you not hate him, or why have you had such a change of heart? Is it worth bringing shame to all your family? Your mother is correct. You should have married Mr. Collins. There is only one thing left to do. You must leave Longbourn today and never return. Go and live with that Darcy fellow or someone else. Be out of my sight. You have only brought shame and disgrace to our family.
The sound of a door slamming woke Elizabeth from her disturbing dream and she next dried her tears and prepared for her day. Her dream was surreal and she had to pinch herself to believe she was awake and that it had only been a dream. She now saw the sunlight streaming through her window and realized that Mr. Darcy would arrive later and join her and her sisters for breakfast. After hurrying through her ablutions, she readied herself for her breakfast later that morning with Mr. Darcy.
****
Fitzwilliam Darcy arrived early at Longbourn. Though he had slept fretfully, he wanted to spend all the time he could with Elizabeth before returning to Darcy House. His intention was to invite her and Jane to come to town and he would reassure them that it was his desire as well as his sister’s and that Mr. Bingley would join them at Darcy House. He hoped they might visit the Gardiners soon, and Elizabeth had told him that they sometimes
went to town to shop before Christmas.
He was invited into the house by Mrs. Hill who brought him some coffee. Seeing they were alone, he engaged in conversation with the woman, who rarely spoke with a houseguest. She seemed to enjoy her talk with the man and noticed he had shaved his beard and she knew Miss Elizabeth would approve. For some time now she had believed that Elizabeth had developed strong feelings for the gentleman and she already knew that Jane felt the same for Mr. Bingley. Mrs. Hill could see that he was in love with Elizabeth and wished happiness for both of them. Darcy was very kind to the woman and asked of her life and her thoughts on things and at times they laughed together. The older woman was now convinced that stirrings of love were now about Longbourn and she knew it would be good for everyone.
Elizabeth was the first to come downstairs and greeted Darcy and Mrs. Hill.
“Good morning, Miss Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy has arrived and is just having some coffee.”
Mrs. Hill left the two as Elizabeth entered the room as Darcy rose to greet her.
“I arrived earlier Miss Bennet, and I hope that you are not inconvenienced? I trust you slept well?”
“Thank you for enquiring, but I did not get much sleep, in fact I had a dream in which my father sent me away because of your visit here yesterday. I had so many things on my mind as I tried to sleep that I am not surprised by any dream.”
“Did you actually leave home in your dream?”
“No, thankfully I awoke to a wet pillow from all my tears, but things are better seeing you today. What is this, you are the same man in looks as I remember from last November, but look to have lost weight, have you not?”
“Yes, I only grew the beard to disguise my identity. I know how the locals must have disliked me from those many months ago, and I did not wish to bring scandal to your family.”
“That is all forgotten, Mr. Darcy. After you left and warned the merchants of Wickham’s history of not paying his debts, they soon determined you were a man of honor and character. Even so, I like you clean shaven rather than with a beard.”
Darcy smiled as Jane entered the room followed by Kitty and Mary and next they sat for breakfast. Darcy was the lone man at the table and soon he observed how Mr. Bennet must have felt all these years being the only man along with six females in the household. He still felt comfortable joining them for breakfast and sensed the same with them who after a few minutes conversed easily with him about his life in town and his sister and Pemberley and many other subjects. Whereas previously he would not have conversed easily with Mary or Kitty, he now began to appreciate them individually as well as collectively. Sensing the man’s desire to speak with Elizabeth and Jane, Kitty and Mary left the three alone to talk.
“Mr. Darcy, I understand you barely missed seeing my sister when she went into Kent this spring. Lizzy said she left to return the day before you and your cousin arrived.”
“You are indeed correct, Miss Bennet. I was upset when I learnt that I had missed her. That was not the only thing, when I arrived my Aunt Catherine said that her parson, Mr. Collins, had married your sister. Her news shocked me and I knew it must have been a mistake but still could not be certain. Later I discovered that my aunt had confused your sister with Charlotte Lucas.”
“Lizzy said that when she and our relatives were visiting Lambton that she also left a day or so before you arrived. It seems you were not destined to meet.”
“Jane, I am glad we did not meet. It was a trying time when I received word that Lydia and Mr. Wickham had eloped and I would not have wanted Mr. Darcy to see me so distressed.”
“But I would have tried to help you and your family in any way if I had only known. As it was, I learnt of your visit to Pemberley. The housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds, told me of meeting you and your relatives and said she was impressed with all of you and even asked you to delay leaving Derbyshire. Both women grew up in Lambton.”
Darcy rose from the table and thanked the ladies for their hospitality and asked them to give his and Bingley’s best to their parents.
“Thank you for your visit, sir. Both Jane and I look forward to visiting with you and your friend when we are next in town.”
After those words and having said his goodbyes to the others, Elizabeth walked outside with Mr. Darcy. “Miss Bennet, I do not need to return to town this minute. I would like to ask you to join me for a walk before I leave to return, that is if you will do me the honor of accompanying me?”
“Yes, Mr. Darcy,” she happily replied. “Give me a minute to grab my shawl and bonnet and gloves and we can be off.”
They walked for nearly two hours and she thought Darcy as kind and interesting as ever. She also told of her visit to Hunsford and about visiting Rosings and his relatives.
“Did you enjoy your visit at the parsonage?”
“Yes, surprisingly I enjoyed it very much. The parsonage is not large but is comfortable and well furnished. Mr. Collins told that your aunt had done a great deal to improve it. The only fault I can see is that it will be hard for my friend to hide from Mr. Collins.”
“That speaks of an advantage in owning a larger home, does it not? You would wish a larger home so that you could hide from your husband?”
Elizabeth raised a brow as she responded to Mr. Darcy. “It is not the size of the home that attracts me to marry, but rather the intensity of my affections for the man and his for me. In such a case, a smallish home would be very satisfying.”
When he asked her of her opinion of Rosings and Pemberley, she responded that Rosings was a fine place but could not compare with Pemberley and she went on to describe how happy she felt when she toured the home. She then said how her aunt had to pull her away from looking at his portrait in the large gallery.
“You are smiling, or is that a laugh you are having at my expense, sir?”
“No, Miss Bennet, it is an attempt at a smile, but I find the story endearing, nevertheless.”
“Then you should smile more often, sir, for it makes you more attractive.”
“So you were attempting to see if my portrait matched the man in flesh and bones?”
“Yes, but I needed to study it with you nearby so I could tell if it was perfect.”
Suddenly she saw his eyes perusing her person and caught him turn away, but she had already began to blush. He appeared nervous and she could see him twisting his signet ring.
“I apologize for staring at you just then, Miss Bennet. It is just that I am happy to be in your company again. It was disconcerting to have just missed seeing you both at Rosings and at Pemberley.”
She spoke of her next day in Lambton receiving the word of Lydia and Wickham’s elopement and immediately became sad and Darcy turned to her and wiped the tears from her eyes. Next she could feel the touch of his ungloved hand as he carefully touched her face and traced an errant tear, but she was captivated by his dark eyes and for a moment thought he could see into her soul.
When they later arrived at Longbourn, she followed him to his horse and soon saw him ride away to town, her eyes following him until he rode out of sight. Watching him leave made her bereft for loss of his company and silently she wished that he could stay. These new feelings brought her much angst but also confusion. She hoped she did not have her sister’s affliction but her pounding heart suggested otherwise.
****
Elizabeth was disappointed that Darcy had to leave but knew his presence had brought hope to her family and his appearance had warmed her heart. Their meetings and long walks could not have been more congenial and once he left she was convinced he was a man she could respect and care for. She had always admired his mind, but now she saw him present himself humbly and honorably and he even told her how he had missed her. Though she still did not know everything behind his friends leaving Netherfield so hastily, he appeared honest and even apologized for his remark on her beauty. When he said this she wanted to tell him how she often thought him handsome, even as she tried to convince others of her dislike.
Now she understood that she had built up a shield to protect her heart from the man. Elizabeth was convinced that such a man would never wish an alliance with a woman so below his station and did not let him close to her heart for fear of getting hurt. After visiting Pemberley and hearing others praise Darcy, her opinion changed and after Wickham and Lydia eloped she knew he was a man whom she had badly misjudged and her heart ached that she may never see him again. All these things she kept to herself but now she hoped that things might turn out different. Darcy was setting the stage for Bingley and Jane to meet in town and just the thought of such a meeting made her happy.
That evening she spoke to Jane and told her that Darcy and Bingley wished to have them for dinner at Darcy House before Christmas. Jane smiled and Elizabeth thought she saw a few tears escape as Jane grabbed hold of her hand and gave an affectionate squeeze. “I should like to see Mr. Bingley again. Perhaps he still cares for me, just as his friend does for you.”
Jane Bennet had never given her heart before, but Mr. Bingley’s suddenly leaving Netherfield broke her heart. She would only believe that some good would arise out of Mr. Darcy’s visit and she would not let Elizabeth think otherwise.
“I believe Mr. Darcy came as Mr. Bingley’s messenger. Though Mr. Darcy was kind and caring, his main purpose was to bring you and his friend together.”There I go again. He has come to see me, so why do I lie to Jane unless I am trying to put a shield over my heart again?
“No, Lizzy, you must not think that way. His words speak volumes. He said he was upset that he did not see you in Kent. Next, he was very upset when he heard from his aunt that you had married Mr. Collins, and finally, he told his aunt that he and Miss de Bourgh would never marry. Lizzy, he rode all this way to see you, knowing the story in The Times said you were dead. So you see, he appears to be a man very much in love with you. Now I wonder if he has always been in love with you. As I recall, there was always an attraction and energy between you and Mr. Darcy. You cannot say that he was not happy seeing you again and I know you were also happy to see him.”
Darcy on the Edge Page 2
