Not right now.
“Sorry.” I open my eyes and try to keep my tone soft. “It’s just all still bubbling right under the surface, you know? I didn’t mean to scare you,” Abbie’s face returns to normal instead of looking like one of those Disney princesses whose eyes take up half their face. She twists her hair into a long coil, looking up at me.
“I shouldn’t have asked,” she frowns for a second.
“Nope, don’t worry about it, okay? So, you were asking me about drawing, well, I always had an interest,” I try desperately to change the subject and lighten the mood back up. “But once I came out here I had a lot of time to pursue it. It’s given me time to try different techniques like cross hatching and shading, but I’m never going to be some kind of Rembrandt. Still, I’m getting better and it’s a great way to relax, so it’s nice,” I know I’m over-explaining, I just want the tension on Abbie’s face to disappear. I want the light afternoon of chilling together not to be spoiled by my anger.
Abbie bites her fleshy lip and peers up at me. I can see another question forming on the tip of her tongue. Hopefully this time I can keep my emotions under control.
“Could you… draw me?” She blushes furiously and looks down at the ground.
“Draw you? Like now?” It’s not the question I was expecting. I smile at her shy request. “I could never capture how beautiful you are,” I answer truthfully. “I could study art for years and never do you justice.”
“Please?” Her voice is small but powerful. She’s not taking no for an answer.
I look at how she’s poised in the sun, the way her beautiful eyes are both seductive and sweet at the same time. “I’ll try,” I agree, lifting the bottle back up and taking another drink before thrusting it out at her.
She looks way too happy with my answer. I think she’s going to be disappointed when she comes out looking less like the Mona Lisa and more like Lisa Simpson. Still, it would be nice to have a drawing of her after she goes.
Not that I will ever forget her.
24
Abbie
I’m lying back on the warm grass and watching the clouds overhead turn into giant Macy’s Parade floating cartoons. I swear that I’ve already watched Mickey Mouse and my favorite princess of all time, Belle, go floating by in the warm sun. Cole told me I didn’t need to sit like a statue after I held my unnatural pose for the first five minutes and started to cramp up in my back. He laughed at me, telling me to just relax, so I decided lying down was probably the best thing to do.
I explore the hilltop with my gaze, soaking in the tiny wild flowers beginning to blossom in the ankle high grass. Growing up in the city, I never had a lot of time in nature as a child. However, I always treasured when my mother took me camping. It was only for one week a year, but those seven days made me feel like an ancient explorer discovering a new world. I remember spending hot, lazy days in a cabin by the lake and chasing frogs to proudly show my mother. One time, we spent the entire afternoon making beautiful necklaces from flowers. It was always so wonderful to have her entirely to myself. As a single mom, she had to be the breadwinner. Sometimes she was stretched pretty thin, so I loved those days when I had her all to myself and the only worry we had in the day was what we would eat for dinner.
My eyes drift back into focus from a time gone by and zero in on a dandelion about five feet away. While the other yellow weeds are just starting to open their golden heads, this one is already white and wispy, ready to spread its aged seeds of wisdom to bring the next generation into existence.
“Hey, is it okay if I get up?” I don’t want to interrupt Cole’s process, but I can’t contain my excitement over my find.
“I’m pretty much done here, so knock your socks off,” he looks up from the paper he’s been unblinkingly working on with a wink. Heat floods through me, spreading from my cheeks down my chest and billowing out between my thighs. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I’ve met many men in my life, but not a single one who could so innocently wink at me and reduce me to a quivering pile of intense desire.
I try not to let myself stare at him like a puppy dog, instead refocusing on the dandelion across the way. I clumsily manage to get my feet under me and the world swirls around me in a mosaic of green hues while my eyes try to track properly, but have a hard time keeping things straight. It hasn’t helped that I’ve probably drank more booze this afternoon than I’ve ever consumed in my life.
I pluck my walking stick from the ground, genuinely in need of the stability it can provide. Not because of my ankle, but my alcohol induced double vision. I don’t want to look like a lush, so I manage to force my feet forward and stumble over to the weeds.
Lucky for me, Cole isn’t expecting me to be able to walk a straight line with the injury I’ve been playing up. I reach the fluffy white-haired flower and sink down to the ground, picking it from the ground where the stem meets the dirt.
Holding it reverently in my hands, I smile at the little spikes of seeds attached to the pale, dimpled head. My mind flashes back to simpler days, when Mama and I spent long days at the camp letting our skin get kissed with bronze from the summer sun.
“Make a wish, Abbie,” I can still hear her voice, like she’s sitting beside me now. I want to reach out and grab her hand. I want to feel her arms around me, but I know she’s gone. I know the voice I hear is only in my memory.
Still, I close my eyes and let my heart explore my deepest desire. What do I want more than anything in the world? It doesn’t take much soul searching to come up with the answer. I want to feel this way forever. I want every day to be filled with the magic of adventure.
I want him.
I blow on the seeds and watch as they float over the field, some dropping on the grass quickly, while others lift up to the sky, carrying with them my deepest wish.
“I’m finished,” Cole calls out, and I open my eyes and look back over my shoulder at him.
With the help of my jingling walking stick, I manage to find myself moving back toward him.
“Well, what do you think?” he tilts the journal so I have full view of the page. My mouth opens, but no noise comes out. I can’t believe how beautiful he’s drawn me. Is that how he sees me? I look up at him in awe.
“You hate it, don’t you? I told you that I couldn’t do you justice,” he lets the book fall from his hands next to him.
“No! That’s not it at all,” I protest weakly, but I can’t stop looking at his lips.
“Don’t worry, you won’t hurt my feelings,” his voice is dry. I can hear his words and the exact opposite meaning underneath them.
“I love it,” I interrupt him. “I think,” the words are a cyclone in my head, “I’m pretty sure that I love… you,” my breath is hot as I exhale, burning my lips. Before I have time to overthink it, before I have time to second guess it, I lean into him and put my burning lips on his. Softly kissing him.
25
Cole
Our tongues explore each other feverishly. I can taste her longing as I thread my fingers through her hair and pull her into me tight. Abbie climbs on top of me, straddling me between her legs and grinds her pussy against me.
My mind shuts off and my body runs on pure instinct as my cock grows rigid and my hands slide up her shirt to cup her breasts.
Abbie breaks our kiss and looks into my eyes as she slowly peels her shirt off and tosses it to the ground beside us. She leans into me, pressing her tits into my face. “I need you, Cole,” her voice is raspy and desperate. Like a junkie crying out for their next fix. I feel her heat between her legs tempting me. Her rosy nipples begging to be sucked and teased by my mouth.
Somehow, through the fog of lust contorting my thoughts, I realize this is wrong. Every primal urge I have, every instinct inside me is trying to overrule the judgement, trying to let me forget my morals and succumb to her untouched temptation, but deep inside, I know this isn’t the way.
I slowly slide my hands down he
r shoulders and over her smooth arms until I grasp her hands in mine. “I can’t. Not like this,” the words hurt me as much as they seem to hurt her. Abbie’s face twists up and for a moment, I think she might cry.
“No, listen to me, I know what I’m doing. I want you, Cole. Please, let me do this,” she breaks her hands free from mine and runs them through my hair as she presses her tits against my mouth. I breathe out over her already taut nipple and it becomes a hard nub against my lip. I press my hips up against her and she rewards me by thrusting herself down on me.
Lifting her up, I brace her with my arms as I roll her down onto the ground and pin her beneath me. Abbie’s eyes grow wide as I press myself hard against her virgin pussy. An unruly wave of passion crashes over me, disarming my better senses and I hold her body in place with my grinding cock, but keep her head on the ground as I cover her mouth in a hard kiss.
Circling my hand around both her wrists, I wrench her hands up over her head and look down at her wide green eyes. Behind the desperation for my touch, I can see her nervousness.
This isn’t okay.
“We’re not doing this, Abbie. You’re drunk, you don’t know what you want,” I look her in the eyes, but she turns her head from me.
“I do know what I want, Cole. I want you. Why won’t you let me do this?” She feebly tries to meet my mouth in another kiss but I pull away and her lips push out in a pout. Goddamn she’s not making this easy. I want to pull her pushed out bottom lip in over my teeth and give it a little nip. I want to rip her pants off and put her over my knee for testing me like this right before I slam my cock inside her until her tight little pussy takes every last drop of my cum.
“Do you think it’s easy for me to say no to you? I’m dying here, Abbie, but it’s not right to fuck you, not when you’re drunk.” She turns away from me and her cheeks burn crimson. I hook my finger under her chin and tilt her face back to mine, “Listen, you’ve never done this before, so there must be a reason you’ve been waiting. I don’t think that after a long day of drinking out in the sun it’s the best time to decide whether or not you’ve changed your mind on that, alright? Let me take you back inside, have some food, drink some water, get some sleep and if you still want this… if you still want me,” my voice rumbles and my cock throbs at the thought, “if you haven’t changed your mind tomorrow then, trust me sweetheart, I’d be happy to make you mine.” The thought makes me growl my words with deep, guttural need. Before she can protest anymore, I stand up and hold my hand out for her to grab.
Abbie reaches up, but she won’t meet my gaze anymore. Her face is flushed and she quickly scurries over to where she tossed her shirt and slips it back on. Turning her back to me, she wipes her hands over her face. Damn it. I made her cry. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. Can’t she see that I’m trying to do the right thing?
I step toward her and start to wrap my arms around her, but Abbie stands up tall and shrugs me off. “Don’t do that,” her voice is like an Arctic blast of air on this hot day. “Let’s just go back in, I already feel stupid enough,” she hangs her head and sniffles.
I want to tell her I’m sorry, but I think I’m doing the right thing here. I don’t mean to hurt her feelings, but it’s obviously too late for that. Instead, I pick up her bear stick and hand it to her. Collecting the almost empty booze bottle and my journal with my drawing of a much happier Abbie inside, I lead the way back to the cabin.
The walk back is silent. It makes a short hike down the hill feel painfully long, but I can’t think of anything I can say right now that’s going to heal her bruised ego.
As we reach the door I breathe a sigh of relief. At least I can make her some dinner and hopefully forget about the whole thing. I open it for her and can feel her eyes on me, but I don’t trust myself to face her.
Abbie sighs and marches past me, “I’m not hungry,” she announces and slumps down on the bed.
It’s probably best that she sleeps this off, but I still feel like a cyclone of conflicting emotions is swirling around inside. In my heart, I know I made the right call, but I’ll be damned if my body isn’t fighting me on it. Between Abbie’s hurt feelings and my own intense needs, I can’t help but feel like I’m the real loser of the night.
Nice guys finish last, right? Or in my case, they don’t fucking finish at all.
26
Abbie
I wake with a jolt and my eyelids fling open. My vision adjusts to the darkness and the familiarity of Cole’s cabin as it slides into focus.
How did I get here?
I try to conjure the memory, lying perfectly still, as if any motion would be enough to scare it away.
Through the haze of my mind, I see the drawing. It was surprisingly beautiful, I never imagined anyone seeing me that way.
The kiss suddenly flashes behind my eyes like a nuclear blast, making my body hum with heat and excitement, filling me with an overwhelming urgency I’ve never experienced before.
I slide out of the bed and look over at Cole. Even when he’s sleeping peacefully he looks rugged and strong. I have to force myself to stop staring at the way his brown hair falls across his forehead and how his chiseled jaw looks against the pillow. With the blankets pulled up over his shoulder, I can’t make out any more of his beautiful body, but my pussy clenches just the same. My body knows every defined muscle on his burly frame and wants to feel every single one strain against me as he makes me a woman.
Making my way outside, I grab a jug of water and pour myself a glass. The cool liquid pours down my throat as I try to make the parched, raw sensation go away.
Wait, is this a hangover? I always thought that you felt sick and got a headache. I feel fine, except for my unquenchable thirst. Gulping down another glass, I try to piece together fragments of yesterday.
I cringe as the jagged puzzle pieces slowly form into a full and mortifying picture. Cole’s stinging rejection becomes sickeningly clear in my mind. He turned me down. Emphatically at that. Embarrassment burns in my cheeks as I recall how I threw myself at him. And how he refused me.
I want to push it all away. Erase it from my mind. I wish I had gotten more drunk, or that I would’ve woken up with amnesia. Anything to take away this humiliation.
I sneak back inside and climb into bed, closing my eyes, trying to will myself to forget. However, the details keep coming back to me. It’s like that game Whack-a-mole, as each painful moment of Cole’s rejection pops its ugly head up in my brain, I try to beat it back down.
I look over at him. His large hand is stuffed under his chin. I remember how that hand easily circled my wrists, holding my arms down as he lay on top of me. A new feeling sweeps away my self-pity… desire.
I bite my lip and heat blooms from my belly, spilling over between my legs as my pussy grows slick. My hand begins to creep down over my stomach, desperate to ease the ache building inside me. As I reach the waistband of my pants, I look over at Cole and stop.
Why am I doing this? I’m lying in bed next to the man I want and I’m going to masturbate thinking of him? No. This is stupid. I’m done letting my shyness take everything I want from me. I’m done being the good girl who gets nothing but heartache for her trouble. I’m done with never getting what I want.
But, he turned you down. He doesn’t want you.
The thoughts bring me back to reality with a stinging slap. It’s true, I lie back, defeated. He did stop me. But, maybe that just means I’ll have to make it impossible for him to resist. A smile pricks at the corners of my lips as a naughty plan forms. Before I have a chance to talk myself out of it, I strip down completely bare and pull the blankets on top of me.
“Cole,” I practically sing his name. He doesn’t move though. He’s still deeply sleeping. I guess I’m going to have to make sure I wake him up. My heart beats like I just ran wind sprints as I roll over and face him, letting the palm of my hand ease against his chest.
I swallow hard and will myself to continue. Lying here with
your hand on his chest isn’t how you get him interested, I chide myself. Stop letting your inhibitions own your experiences. Live a little!
I slide my fingers down over his toned body, hesitating as I reach the edge of his pants. Taking a deep breath, I keep going until my hand is firmly holding his morning wood. My eyes grow wide as I restrain myself from diving my hand in under his pants to explore his dick more thoroughly.
“Cole,” I grab him despite the fabric barrier between us and jerkily move my hand over his bulge.
Cole’s eyelids spring open and he grinds his hips forward, pressing into my hand. I can see the feral hunger in his eyes dominating him, and it sends a long, deep shiver through me. No man has ever looked at me like that before. It’s so primal, my pussy grows even wetter and I bite my lip.
“What are you doing?” His voice is gravelly and rough. For a moment, I almost drop my hand and retreat on my little tough girl act. Instead, I double down, pressing my hand against his thick cock.
I curl my fingers around the ridge and look into his eyes, “What does it feel like I’m doing?”
Before he can answer, I toss back the blankets and reveal my naked body to him. I watch something flash in his eyes as I lie on my back and slide my hands up over my tits, giving my nipple a little tug between my fingers and thumb. I keep inching my other hand down over my skin until I reach my soaking pussy. Tracing a line over my lips, I press my fingers between them as I arch my back and open my pussy for him to see how turned on I am. “If you aren’t going to touch me, I thought you should at least have to see what you’re doing to me,” I answer him huskily.
27
Virgin for the Woodsman Page 9
