by Susan Stoker
The tattoo was like Grace. It was there, clear as day, for anyone who bothered to take the time and a second look, but most people wouldn’t bother. Suddenly Logan felt sick inside. Even knowing Grace back when he left, knowing she was sweet and honest, he’d believed the worst of her.
Logan leaned down, keeping his thumb brushing over her nape, loving her involuntary reaction to his touch. “I like it, Smarty. It fits you. Birds?”
He could barely hear her over the sound of the music, so he took a step closer and wrapped an arm around her waist tugging her back into him until he could feel her heat all along his chest. All he had to do was move his hand from her nape and pull her the remaining couple of inches and she’d feel how he really felt about her. He didn’t move.
“I like birds. They’re free.”
Free. He got it. After their little chat tonight, and hearing about what her parents had done, he got it.
“And the special ink?” Logan thought he knew, but didn’t ever want to presume anything when it came to Grace again.
“I . . . I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s mine.”
Logan knew exactly who she didn’t want to know about it. He let it go. “It’s beautiful, Smarty. I adore it. I’d love to use that ink on my own skin, if you’ll tell me who did it.”
“Thanks and uh, Felicity can tell you where we went to get it. It was somewhere up in Denver. I’m not sure exactly where.”
Logan brushed his thumb over the two birds one more time, then reluctantly brought his hand down to her hip. He wanted to lick the tattoo. Wanted to suck her skin into his mouth and worship the courage it took to put the ink on her body, but he didn’t, it was too soon. He needed to move slowly. Grace had just found out he wasn’t the asshole she’d thought for the last decade. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t let her know what he wanted.
Leaning against the wall, Logan turned Grace and pulled her into him, until she was resting against him. They were face to face now, and there was no way she couldn’t feel his erection against her stomach. He took the water bottle out of her hand and bent, putting it on the floor next to them, then stood and hooked his fingers together at the small of her back, once more holding her against him. Trying to ignore the aroused state of his body and enjoy the feel of Grace in his arms, Logan apologized for his behavior since he’d been back in Castle Rock, “I’m sorry it took me so long to get up the nerve to talk to you.”
She shook her head. “No, I should’ve-”
“No, don’t take this on yourself. I was purposely avoiding you, Grace. I was hurt because I thought you’d been playing with me when I left.”
Grace shook her head and said sadly, “I hate that you thought that.”
“I know you do. But I shouldn’t have let it go this long.”
She bit her lip. “I did too. I should’ve said something the first time I saw you back in town.”
“But it happened. Neither of us wanted it to, but it did. But we’re moving on. Tonight is the start of our new and improved relationship. I want to get to know the Grace Mason that is standing in front of me today. Not the person I remembered from all those years ago.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Logan repeated in confusion. “Why do I want to know about you?”
“Uh huh. I’m just me.” Grace shrugged awkwardly in his embrace. “I’m no one special. I’m a secretary at my parent’s architectural firm. That’s all.”
Logan chuckled. “That might be the Grace that the world sees, but I know there’s a lot more to you than that. I’ve seen signs of her in there, and I’m intrigued as hell.”
“Logan, I don’t think-”
“Don’t think, Smarty,” he interrupted gently. “Even though we shared our first and last kiss at the bus station that morning long ago, I’ve thought about it, and more, a lot since then. I liked the person you were back then enough to want you to move out to be with me. I’ve seen nothing since I’ve been back in town that has changed my mind. That’s part of the reason it took me so long to get up the nerve to talk to you. You were this perfect woman in my mind, I was scared to shatter that illusion if I talked to you. But, Grace, it hasn’t been shattered at all. You’ve changed, but so have I. And I want to get to know you again. Get to know the new you. See if the woman you are today is someone I’m as attracted to as the girl back then. And I have to tell you . . . so far, you are exceeding my expectations in a big way.”
Grace looked up at him with huge eyes. Opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again.
“Will you let me take you out? Do you think you might want to get to know me, the man I am today, as well?”
She immediately nodded. “Yes. I definitely want to get to know you again.”
Logan smiled. “Good. Want to get a late-night snack with me?”
“Now?”
“Yeah, now. No time like the present to get reacquainted.”
Grace looked around the gym as if just now remembering where they were, then stepped away from him, putting a good half a foot between them. The look of longing in her eyes contradicted the words that came out of her mouth. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Logan, but I need to go. I’m glad we cleared the air. I do want to get to know you, but I just don’t know if it’s going to work out. I know that I said I would, but I just-”
Logan grabbed her hand and pulled her back into his chest. “What are you afraid of, Smarty?”
“I’m not afraid of anything.” Grace’s eyes were wide and communicated her lie loud and clear even as she tried to sound tough.
“Grace-”
“I need to go.”
She began to struggle in his arms, and Logan let her go. He’d never forced a woman to do anything before, and he wasn’t about to start now. Especially not with Grace.
“Okay, easy, Grace. Let me take you home then.”
“No.” Her answer was immediate. “Felicity needs to take me. My stuff is in her car.”
“I can get your things. Don’t you trust me?”
“No. Yes. It’s not that,” Grace stammered, backing toward the door. “I just . . . I need to go.”
Logan could see Grace was on the verge of panicking again. And he hated it. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel afraid of him. He held up his arms in capitulation, giving her the space she needed. “Okay, okay. No problem. I’ll help you find Felicity.”
“It’s okay. I can find her on my own.” Grace had reached the gym doors and looked up at Logan. He couldn’t quite read the look in her eyes. “Thanks, Logan. I’m glad we could talk. I’ll see you around. Take care.”
“You too, Smarty.”
At his words, she turned and all but fled out of the gym.
“And I’ll take care of you too,” Logan said softly as he followed her at a more sedate pace. Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. And he hadn’t spent the last ten years learning all he could about investigations to let this go. Knowing that Grace had somehow not seen even one of his letters all those years ago, and had apparently been as desperate to hear from him as he’d been to hear from her changed everything.
Everything.
Chapter Nine
Grace sat huddled in the front seat of Felicity’s PT Cruiser with her arms around her waist. She’d changed back into the black slacks and Louis Vuitton blouse she’d worn at the beginning of the night. On her feet were the two-inch heels her mother insisted she always wear. Her armor was back in place, but she felt more vulnerable than ever.
“Please tell me what’s wrong, Grace,” Felicity begged. “You’re really worrying me.”
“He wrote,” Grace told her friend in a toneless voice.
“What? Who wrote what?”
“Logan. He said that he wrote me after he left. I never got any of his letters.”
She’d never told Felicity about the letters. She hadn’t told anyone. The hurt Logan had caused her had cut too deep for her to share it with anyone. Even her best friend. But somehow tonight he’d managed to la
nce that sore . . . make it not hurt so badly. Enough so she could share with Felicity what had happened.
“He wrote you a letter?”
“Dozens, apparently.”
“And your asshole parents hid them from you, didn’t they?” Felicity’s voice rose in the small interior of her car.
“Returned to sender, unopened.”
“Motherfucker. Those assholes. Seriously. Who does that? You need to get them out of your life once and for all, Grace. Seriously. That is not okay.”
“I was only eighteen. I’m sure they thought they were doing what was right for me.”
“No. Don’t do that. They’ve kept you under their thumb your entire life. You’re twenty-eight. An adult. You don’t need their approval anymore.”
“They’re my parents.”
“Yeah, they are. But they’ve done nothing but make you feel like shit your entire life. Parents are supposed to love their kids without strings. Yours dangle their approval in front of you like bait.”
Grace twisted in her seat and gave her complete attention to Felicity. “You’re right. I’m twenty-eight and have nothing of my own. My mother has bought every stitch of clothing I own. They pay my salary, which pays for my apartment and the food I eat. My car. But they need me. They’re getting older and if I’m not here to help them, what will they do?”
Felicity laughed, but it wasn’t humorous. “Grace. They’re not that old. They’re using you.”
“I want them to love me. I’ve always been a disappointment to them.”
“Oh, Grace. You’re not a disappointment. You’re an amazingly smart woman who has the world ahead of her, if only you’d reach out and grab it.”
“I’m afraid if I don’t help them when they ask, or if I quit, they’ll force me to stay.”
“You’re being paranoid, Grace. Cut it out. Your parents don’t have that sort of power. All you have to do is stand up to them and say no.”
“It’s not that easy. Believe me, I’ve learned that lesson.”
Felicity’s face fell in concern, and Grace hurried on and changed the subject. “I got the impression tonight that Logan wants to go out with me.”
“That’s great!” Felicity gushed, then sobered. “Why aren’t you happy about it?”
“I am. I’ve pretty much loved him my entire life. But my parents don’t like him. I’m afraid they’ll do something to hurt his new business.”
Felicity laughed. “Logan Anderson? You have got to be kidding me. That man can take care of himself.”
“I can’t take the chance. Hiding letters back then was nothing compared to what they could do today.”
“Not if he’s aware of it and is prepared for whatever they might try.”
“I love you, Felicity,” Grace told her friend seriously, ignoring her last comment. “I don’t know what I would’ve done the last few years if you hadn’t been there for me.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t act like this is good-bye. Just because you learned, once again, what assholes your parents are, doesn’t mean that you’ll never see me again.”
Grace sighed. “I’m just . . . this is hard.”
“Life is hard,” Felicity retorted somewhat harshly. “Really hard, sometimes. You know that I know it as well as you. You know what happened to me, Grace. But you gotta push through the hard times. Get pissed. You didn’t ask for asshole parents. You didn’t ask to be in the situation you’re in. But if you continue to let Margaret and Walter run your life, and choose your friends and boyfriends, you’ll never get out of it. Fight, Grace. Fight for what you want for once. I don’t think your parents will ever be happy with anything in their lives, but that’s on them, not you. Let me help you. And Cole. And even Logan. I have a feeling he’d do anything you asked, and even things you don’t ask for. Maybe him coming back to town is a sign. He runs a business that helps people in situations like yours.”
“I’m not like his clients,” Grace protested immediately.
“Not exactly, no, but close.”
Grace shook her head but smiled at Felicity in capitulation. “You’re right, in a way. Hearing that Logan did write me all those years ago, shook me. It hurts. I don’t know if things would’ve worked out between us back then, but we didn’t even get a chance to try. I like him. Well, I liked the boy he was, and from what I’ve seen and heard about since he’s been back, I like who he is today too. I want to see if what we had back then was real. If it can maybe work with us again. I think it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“For me to stand up to my parents.”
“Hell to the yeah!” Felicity said with a huge smile on her face.
“I don’t know if I can, though. You’ll help me?”
“Of course,” Felicity answered immediately.
“I know I should be stronger, but I’m really weak when it comes to them.”
“You are not. You’re one of the strongest women I know,” Felicity told her. When Grace shook her head, Felicity continued, “You are. You have the kind of inner strength I’ve rarely seen in women in your situation.”
“But I do everything they want me to.”
“Usually, but it hasn’t broken you. That’s the strength I see in you.”
“I feel broken.”
“But you’re not.” Felicity insisted. “And you don’t have to do it alone anymore. I’m here. Cole too. And I bet Logan and his brothers will be as well. Use the strength you have inside of you to reach out to us.”
“I don’t know what they’ll do.”
“Are you scared of them?”
“Yeah. But they won’t hurt me, well, not so much I can’t handle it. They’ve never hit me before. Never truly abused me, just disciplined me.”
“There’s abuse, then there’s abuse,” Felicity said in a dry voice.
Grace waved off her friend’s concerns and said in a voice that was meant to be stern but came out a bit uncertain instead. “You’re right, though. It’s time I stood up for myself. I’ve let them push me around for too long. There are things that I haven’t told you about, but they are in the past. I realize now that I need to be careful in my interactions with them and don’t need their approval for every single thing I do in my life. It’ll be fine. We have some things to talk about. I’ll simply sit them down and let them know that it’s time I got the job I really want. I’ll continue to work at the firm until I get my marketing degree. I’ll give them plenty of time to hire my replacement.”
“I’m proud of you.” Felicity leaned over and hugged her friend. They’d pulled over near Grace’s house several minutes ago while they chatted.
“I’m proud of me too,” Grace said. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now scoot. I’ll text you tomorrow. Lunch?”
“Better not. I’m supposed to help schmooze a client. Baby steps.”
Felicity laughed. “Fine. But shoot me a note to let me know you’re okay. I want to hear all about your chat once it’s over.”
“Will do. Thanks for making me go out tonight. I had a good time.”
“You’re welcome. And I won’t even gloat over the fact that it was me that got you and Logan back together.”
Grace rolled her eyes at her friend and got out of the car. She headed toward the large house she’d grown up in, waving one more time at Felicity and the PT Cruiser as she disappeared around a corner. She wanted to go home to her little apartment. To her couch and brainless movies. The large house her parents lived in didn’t hold a lot of good memories, but the thought that she’d be able to break free, to start a new life doing what she wanted for a change, put a spring in her step.
She wanted to be the kind of woman Logan wanted to be with. And she knew, without a doubt, a weak woman who wouldn’t fight for the man she wanted, wasn’t Logan’s kind of woman.
Grace had no idea if she and Logan would ever get back to where they’d been all those years ago, but knowing h
e hadn’t forgotten about her the second he left town went a long way toward patching the raw wounds that had festered in her soul over the years. Wounds her mother had picked at until they bled. Grace hadn’t missed the erection Logan had been trying so hard to keep from her as they’d talked against the wall of the gym. He apparently liked what he’d seen of her. He liked her tattoo, and seemed to appreciate her ample curves, which her parents had always hated.
And she wanted Logan Anderson with a bone-deep desire that flowed through her veins like a stream bubbling over the rocks underneath it. She wanted him. Wanted him to be hers and wanted to be his in return.
In order to get that, she had to stand up to her parents once and for all.
Chapter Ten
“What’s up with you today?” Nathan asked his brother. They were all at Ace Security, following up on the last week’s activities. Because they were scattered around the state most weekdays, each doing different jobs, they’d made it a habit of coming into the office to exchange notes, discuss cases they should or shouldn’t take, and getting an update on the status of their bank account from Nathan.
Blake and Nathan had been happily contributing to the conversation while Logan brooded.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. What is it? One of the cases getting to you?” Blake asked.
“No,” Logan reassured his brothers. “Nothing like that.”
“Grace Mason then?”
Logan looked up sharply at his obviously observant brother. “What do you know about her?”
Blake laughed and held up his hands. “Whoa there. Nothing really. Just that you guys disappeared last night for a long while, you came back and huddled against the wall of the gym, then she left not long after.”
Logan ran his hand though his hair and sighed. “Yeah. I can’t wrap my head around it. You know how I told you guys that she blew me off when I joined up?” Not waiting for their affirmation, he went on. “Turns out she never got any of the letters I sent her. She thought I had dissed her.”
