And that child would be devastated to find itself alone in the harsh world that had raised Christian.
What did he know of children? Not since his own boyhood had he been near one, and even then his association with other children had been sparse at best. He knew only that they smelled badly, cried loudly, and were oft grimy with sticky fingers and moist noses. Truly, they were a horror on earth.
“Christian?”
He focused his gaze to find Adara watching him. “Aye?”
“Are you well? You look uncertain.”
He was, but he would sooner die than ever let her know it. “Nay, I was only thinking of something Phantom said.” He crossed the floor to help her lay out their blankets. “It’s been a long day. You should rest.”
She paused to look up at him. “What of you?”
Her gentle brown eyes searched his, but it was the concern he saw there that touched him deep in his heart. Christian reached out to lay his hand against the flush of her cheek. The softness of her skin never failed to amaze or to warm him. She was a part of him in a way no one had ever been before. Deep. Integral.
He’d almost lost her this day. The rage and pain he’d felt still simmered inside him. He didn’t want to feel this. Didn’t want to know that one person held so much power over him that by simply leaving or dying she could utterly destroy him.
It was humbling.
And it was wonderful. Being with her…feeling her…there was nothing else like this. Her presence gave him strength and made him deliriously happy.
Adara covered his hand with hers. He watched her so intently that it made her throat tight. There was so much emotion in those blue eyes. So much love and adoration, and at the same time she saw his fear, his torment. How she wished she could take that from him.
All she could do was offer him whatever solace was humanly possible. Rising up on her tiptoes, she laid a gentle kiss to his well-shaped mouth.
She was completely unprepared for his reaction to her kiss. He crushed her to him with a groan as he raided her mouth. His tongue spiked against hers as if he wanted to completely devour her. The ferocity of his passion left her breathless. He teased and nibbled her lips, before he deepened his kiss even more.
He pulled back to stare down at her with his eyes glazed and probing before he buried his lips against her neck. Adara hissed as chills spread over her while he loosened the laces for her gown.
She unbuckled his belt, then let it fall to the floor before she seized his surcoat and pulled it over his head. He removed his mail hauberk just as quickly.
Her heart hammering, Adara started unlacing his aketon.
“Bugger it,” he snarled. “I can’t wait.”
Adara frowned, not quite understanding until he unlaced his chausses and let them fall to the floor. He seized her then and pulled up the hem of her gown. Two heartbeats later, he pinned her to the stake in the center of the tent and was deep inside her.
Her head spinning, she wrapped one leg around his hips as he thrust himself into her over and over again. He was raw and fierce with his need, letting her know just how much he craved her touch.
Christian ground his teeth as the pleasure of her body assaulted and eased him. He needed this physical connection to her in a way that defied his best abilities to understand. She was his soul. A part of him that he had long ago forsaken.
In her arms, he found the sanctuary he’d been searching for. But for how long could he stay here? Sooner or later, all men had to forsake sanctuary. It was the nature of the beast. Somehow it always turned on its master.
He pressed his cheek to hers and inhaled the fragrant scent of her dark hair. “You are mine,” he whispered against her ear as he thrust himself deep.
“I am yours, Christian,” she breathed. “I have always been yours.”
He pulled back to stare at her in wonderment as he eased the ache in his body with hers. Her face was creased by pleasure as she watched him carefully. All these years she had waited for him.
If only she’d come for him sooner.
Or maybe she shouldn’t have come for him at all. His indecision tore through him, and yet how could this be wrong? How could what he felt for her be the end of him? Surely something this confusing and wonderful had to be divinely inspired.
“I want you to stay with me, Adara. Always.”
She reached up to touch his lips. “I’m not the one who threatens to leave.”
Nay, she wasn’t. Christian drove himself in deep and held himself there so that he could feel the sweetness of her body wrapped around his, feel the warmth of her arms clutching him in the heat of this moment.
“I know nothing of this life you offer me, Adara. I know nothing of riches or ruling. Nothing of a woman’s love or her heart. I only know warfare and cruelty.”
Adara’s heart clenched at his whispered, grief-laden words, but it was the tormented look in his eyes that seared her.
“I know not how to be your king…”
She held her breath as he stayed completely still, his body still inside hers. She expected him to withdraw, expected him to run away from her.
Instead, he continued to stare at her as he lifted his hand to touch her cheek. “But God help me, I want to be your husband. I want nothing more than to see you in my bed every night before I lay myself down to sleep.”
She choked as joy consumed her. She took his hand into hers and kissed his callused fingers. “I love you, Christian. I will never leave you.”
He closed his eyes as if to savor her words. She ached to hear him repeat loving words back to her, but he didn’t. Still, he had committed himself to her. It was more than he’d ever done before.
They had come far these weeks past. Not just in distance, they had traveled leagues in their relationship. Mayhap by the time they reached Taagaria, he would be ready to travel that last step that would bring him completely into the shelter of her heart.
He started moving against her again, swift and strong. Adara held him close as she let his strength wash over her. There was nothing she wanted more than to have her husband in her arms.
To have and to hold…
Aye, that was what she wanted. Her heart aching for it, she came, crying out his name.
Christian kissed her gently as he felt her body spasm. His breathing ragged, he joined her in paradise. His body shook from the force of his ecstasy. Adara alone had the ability to sate him on this level. To make him feel complete and wanted.
“What have you done to me, my lady?” he whispered as he nuzzled his face against hers. The softness of her…the smell of her flesh…
She weakened and strengthened him.
“I seek only to make you happy, my lord.”
He smiled, then kissed her soundly. “You definitely do that.”
Reluctantly, he withdrew himself from her and let her gown settle back around her body.
Adara pressed her lips together as her gaze dipped to take in the length of him. Against her will, she started laughing.
Christian frowned. “What has possessed you?”
“The sight of you,” she said as she realized that in his haste to take her, he still wore his unlaced aketon. His mail chausses had fallen to his ankles, but were held to his knees by his boots. It was quite comical, really, especially given the fact that her husband normally looked so composed and somber.
Christian glanced down and joined her laughter. “I fear my rose has turned me into a buffoon to match her fool.”
“Your rose?”
“Aye,” he said, pulling his chausses back up, then tying them at his waist. “There is no other word to better describe your prickly beauty.”
She sensed he was teasing her and she enjoyed the novelty of it. “Prickly?”
He nodded. “You do have a surly nature about yourself. Stubborn, too.”
The light in his pale eyes was so playful that she couldn’t resist teasing him back. “Why, sir, I do believe you have me confused with you.”
Adara refused. She traced the line of his jaw with her fingernail, letting it gently scrape his whiskers. “Aye. You are the only prickly thing I see in this tent.”
The smile on his face warmed her. “You didn’t mind my prickliness a moment ago.”
He pulled her flush to his chest. Adara sighed involuntarily at the hard feel of him. There was something about Christian that was overwhelmingly masculine. The manly scent of his skin, his sleek muscles. He was all sinewy strength.
His hungry gaze dipped to her lips before he took possession of her mouth again. Adara surrendered herself to him, content to taste the only man she’d ever wanted. His tongue teased hers while she tasted his warm passion. At times like this, she knew he loved her even if he didn’t say the words. It was only in the darkness that she doubted him.
He said he would stay with her, but she wasn’t so sure. At night he oft left her so that he could visit with Ioan and the others. It was then that she saw her husband’s true nature and his ease with the men.
He was a soldier at heart.
How long could such a man be content with home and hearth? The last thing she wanted was to make him miserable. Christian meant everything to her. What good would it do to keep him if he died in captivity?
He pulled back from his kiss with a frown. “Is something amiss?”
“Nay,” she said sweetly. “I was only trying to imagine what tomorrow might bring our way.”
Christian tightened his hold on her as his own doubts assailed him. “Let us not think on that. Tomorrow will come no matter what we plan. Tonight I’ve no wish to think of it. I only want to feel you with me.”
She kissed his hand, then released him. “Very well, all my thoughts are banished.”
If only his were. Now that she had broached the matter, his thoughts spun with concerns.
But the most immediate was the one that wanted him to abandon everything in the world for the woman in his arms.
However, it was time to lay aside his fears. His decision was made and there was no choice except to march forward with it and trust that fate would see him through.
Adara was his wife…
Nay, Adara was his life. Lives are taken every day…
The ominous voice in his head was haunting. It was debilitating. He’d delivered enough Last Rites to know firsthand how fragile life was. They had men out to kill them and she was pregnant. Women died every day of childbirth.
A man could go mad with such thoughts.
Christian laughed in spite of himself.
Adara scowled at him. “What has possessed you?”
“I am merely thinking that Lutian must have been quite sane until the day he fell at your feet. Indeed, I wonder how soon before I find myself his intellectual equal.”
She bristled under his humor. “Are you saying I made him daft?”
“Nay, I say only that you are making me lose all sense whenever you are near.”
“Addled you, have I?”
“Completely.”
She placed a kiss to his cheek. “And you have captured me, Christian.”
Christian smiled at that as she excused herself for a few moments to attend her needs. “I love you, Adara,” he said beneath his breath.
He only wished he could find the courage to say it aloud to her face without the fear that something would then come along and steal her away from him.
Sixteen
Adara and Christian settled into an easy camaraderie as they traveled over the next few months. With every day that ended, Adara found herself ever more hopeful that Christian might be content being king and husband, and that he was learning to need her, at least as much as a man so strong could need another person.
He seemed excited about the baby, and even Ioan had finally started to slow the army’s movement in regard to Christian’s constant nagging over her tender condition.
They were only about a week from the border of Taagaria. The heat of summer was upon them now, making her snappish from the discomfort of it. According to the midwife and her own calculations, the baby still had two more months before he or she joined them.
But honestly, Adara was more than ready either to have the baby born or to be home where she could rest comfortably. The endless traveling was grueling and hard on her. To help ease some of her discomfort, Christian and Lutian had made a cozy wagon filled with pillows and a feather tick for her to ride on during the day. However, she wasn’t sure if it was any better than riding a horse. The cart jostled constantly and left her having to hold on for dear life at times. Still, it was so sweet of them that she didn’t have the heart to complain.
She lay in her wagon, watching the men around her. Over the last few days, as they drew nearer to the Elgederion and Taagarian borders, they had become more sober. Watchful. It was as if they expected an attack at any moment.
The men had long come to the conclusion that Selwyn would not suffer the army to enter either country without battle. He would have too much to lose. They fully expected him to attack them before they had a chance to cross the borders.
Christian rode just to her left so that he could watch over her. Phantom and Lutian were with him, but no one spoke.
Sighing, Adara wiped at her damp brow.
“Do you need to rest?” Christian asked immediately.
Adara smiled at him. “If you stop this army one more time, I fear, husband dearest, that Ioan will sacrifice you to the buzzards.”
“Aye, he would,” Phantom said. He cast a teasing look to Christian. “So should we stop?”
Christian gave him a droll stare. “I don’t want you to stress yourself unduly, my lady. You have enough of a burden upon you.”
“Aye,” she teased lovingly. “Putting up with you is truly the most insufferable of fates.”
Christian’s face lightened instantly. How she adored it when he looked like that.
Phantom made a choking noise. “Come, Lutian, they’re about to get sickeningly sweet again. I feel a bellyache coming on should we stay to witness it.”
“True,” Lutian agreed. “My teeth ache with it already.”
Adara rolled her eyes as the two of them drifted back out of hearing range. “They’re only jealous, my lord.”
“Indeed.” He reached his hand down to her.
Adara took it and smiled at him as they rode hand in hand for a bit. But with every step that brought them closer to her borders, fear and uncertainty shredded her. Part of her wished she had never insisted they return. She had found in Christian so much more than she had ever hoped for. In truth, she’d been happy without the burdens of her people. For these past months, it had only been the two of them.
And she liked it.
You are being ridiculous. You are queen.
Aye, and she was Christian’s wife.
Ioan called out for Christian’s attention as one of their scouts came riding into the group from the south. Excusing himself, Christian released her hand and kicked his horse forward.
Adara sat up in the wagon to watch the two of them talking while they rode. She couldn’t hear anything, but by their faces she could see the news was dire.
“Lutian?” she called, waving for her fool to join her.
“Aye, my queen?”
“Please go and tell me what it is they discuss.”
He nodded, then moved to obey.
Adara fretted incessantly until his return. He, too, looked less than pleased, while Christian and Ioan continued to speak to each other at the front of their troops.
“Well?” she asked.
“Ioan’s scout has found an area about a day’s ride south where he believes Selwyn might attack us. ’Tis the narrowing in the road between the Yador Mountains…Killer’s Ridge.”
Adara’s heart stilled at his words. She knew the pass well. It was oft an area where thieves chose to raid traveling caravans and merchants. The hills provided cover and the pass was so narrow t
hat no more than two men or a single wagon could traverse it at a time. An army could lie in wait above the pass and easily pick them off with archers as they came through it.
Aye, that was exactly what Selwyn would do.
Ioan called for the army to halt.
Christian rode back to her side. “We are breaking camp for the night so that we can plan a strategy,” he told her.
Adara nodded in understanding as she, too, tried to think of an alternate route. “We can travel southwest and skirt around the mountains.”
“That would take us into Irovar,” Lutian reminded her. He then directed his attention to Christian to explain the problem with that. “They are allies to Elgedera and most loyal to Selwyn.”
A tic started in Christian’s jaw. “Not to mention I am sure they wouldn’t think highly of having an army march through their borders.”
Adara sighed in frustration. “You’re correct about that. We haven’t had the best of relations with them since I refused to allow their king to court me.”
Fire sparked in Christian’s eyes. “Did he press his suit?”
“Nay, my love. He only made a few arguments as to why I should consider him over you. They were paltry and weak reasons indeed.”
Christian grew quiet at the reminder of his wife’s loyalty to him even when he hadn’t deserved it. He dismounted and helped her from her wagon. “I am glad you waited for me, Adara.”
“Not nearly as much as I am, I assure you. The Irovian king is fat, bald, and highly rude. He’s little better than a tyrant who is renowned for overtaxing his people.”
Christian pulled her into his arms with her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her there with his chin resting atop her head. He loved holding her like this. She was a perfect fit to his body. The scent of her hair filled his head while she lightly stroked his hand with hers.
Closing his eyes, he drew strength from her even though he knew she would soon be angry with him. One of the possible plans he’d discussed with Ioan had been to leave her here while the majority of the army rode forward to meet the trap they were sure Selwyn was planning.
Return of the Warrior Page 22
