shaede assassin 05 - shadows at midnight

by amanda bonilla

  “It’s going to be okay, you know?” I didn’t know what to say to reassure him. “It’s over. She’s dead and we’ll get over this and move on.” I gave him a wan smile. “Because we’re tough like that. But in the meantime, you need to let Raif and Anya help you, Xander. Don’t give them a hard time, okay?”

  “I have bargained away the only thing I’ve ever wanted,” he murmured.

  “What do you mean?” I was starting to doubt even the small amount of lucidity my ring had given him. “Xander, you have to focus. Raif needs you back. The kingdom—”

  “I have no kingdom!” Xander railed. I swore the panes of glass shook with his fury. His voice calmed to a breeze and he whispered, “I am shadow.”

  Fear gripped my chest with razor sharp claws. He wasn’t any better at all. If anything, he’d slipped further into madness. My discomfort mounted. The high and mighty king, I could handle. Haughty and privileged, I recognized. His sense of entitlement was something I’d grown accustomed to. But this… A broken, disheveled, shadow of the man I knew. I didn’t have the skill set to deal with this.

  “I think you need some time to adjust,” I replied gently. “It’s hard, but you’ll get there. And you need to sleep. You’re not doing yourself any favors by not resting, Xander. Take a shower. Go to bed. Try to not to let the past get its claws in you. I’ll swing by later to check on you, okay?”

  I took Ty’s words to heart as I crept backward toward the door. I couldn’t allow myself to become more enmeshed in Xander’s life than I already was. Part of me was half afraid he’d lose his cool and attack me again. Instead, he turned and crossed the room slowly with that same predatory gait that had given me pause last night. I gripped the door handle, ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble.

  His gaze sharpened and I caught a glimpse of the shrewd king I knew. His body crowded mine and I sucked in a breath as he leaned over me and inhaled deeply. “I know what is real and what isn’t,” Xander said on an exhale. “Is it so wrong to want to choose the illusion?”

  I didn’t answer him. Couldn’t. What we’d had was over and done with and I wouldn’t placate him by letting him think that our relationship was anything more than friendly. “You need to rest, Xander.”

  He reached around me and closed his hand over mine to turn the knob. The door whispered open and he leaned close to my ear. “If you say so, Darian.”

  Xander pushed the door only wide enough to allow me to slip out into the hallway. He closed the door behind me and the latch engaged with a quick click. Liam’s gaze slid to me and his mouth formed a grim line.

  “Where’s Anya?” I asked.

  “Her apartment.” He jerked his chin toward the third story where a narrow hallway led to her private suite of rooms above the massive garage.

  “Thanks.”

  “Want us to tell Raif anything if he drops by?” Myles asked.

  “Yeah. Tell him not to go easy on his brother.”

  #

  I knocked on Anya’s door, praying I’d catch her in a slightly less murderous mood. She answered the door and her violet gaze narrowed as it landed on me. Her almost pleasant expression hardened. “What do you want?”

  Despite our adversarial relationship, I admired Anya. I’d never met a stronger woman and I doubted there wasn’t an obstacle that she couldn’t overcome. She had that pregnancy glow that people always talked about. I liked her this way: soft with her hair long and flowing like the tunic and loose pants she wore.

  “When are you due?” It’s not why I came to talk to her, but I was curious.

  “Oh goodie,” she said, dry as a mouthful of crackers, “girl talk.”

  I didn’t engage. She wanted me to hit back and give her an excuse to start a fight. I simply stared at her with the most pleasant expression I could muster affixed to my face. What felt like hours passed as we stood toe to toe, staring each other down. Anya broke first and let out a long suffering sigh.

  “I’m due in two weeks, but the doctor says the baby could come at any time.”

  With the ice sufficiently broken, I figured I’d lulled her enough to hear me out. “Can we talk?”

  “If I say no?”

  I leaned against the jamb and crossed my arms over my chest, prepared for another stare-down. “I’ve got all day.”

  She swung the door wide and I followed her inside.

  Anya lowered herself down onto the couch will all of the grace of a woman about to give birth at any second. She muttered something under her breath in Russian as she angled her body into one corner and tucked her legs beneath her. I stood in the middle of the modest living room, my head buzzing with too many thoughts to put them all in order. She propped an elbow on the arm of the couch and leaned her head onto her palm. “If you’re not going to talk, mind if I get back to the nap you interrupted?”

  Shit. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. Look, I’m not going to be around much and—”

  Anya let out a derisive snort. “Of course you won’t. I’ve never known you to clean up your messes. Why start now?”

  Low blow. I wasn’t here to fight with her, though. This wasn’t about either of us. “He’s on the edge, but he’s not as far gone as you think.”

  Anya stared at me, but her gaze turned contemplative. “Why do you say that?”

  Is it so wrong to want to choose the illusion? I banished Xander’s words from my mind. Less involvement would help us both to heal. “You can thank Tyler for his improved clarity. That’s all you need to know. Listen, you can’t go easy on him. You or Raif. Make him snap out of it. He’s not five-by-five. He might not be for a while. But if you don’t ride him—hard—and push him past what he’s been through, he’ll get worse, not better.”

  “Is it so easy, then? To heal?” A hint of her native Russian accent came through in her words. “Have you been able to push past your hardships, Darian?”

  I’d pushed so fucking hard that my shoulders ached. Not because I didn’t want to take the time to properly heal, but because there was no other option. Time was a luxury afforded to very few people. “Xander doesn’t have time and you know it. Raif can’t handle this coup on his own.”

  “A coup, is it? How would you know?”

  Her tone made it obvious that Anya didn’t think I deserved to know a goddamned thing about the monarchy’s business. “Please. You don’t have to like me, but don’t treat me like I’m an idiot.”

  “Saben,” she spat with a curl of her lip. “Opportunistic bastard.” She cursed again in Russian. “The only way to squash his rebellion is for Xander to return home.”

  “Okay, then that’s our goal. Get him fired up and on the road.”

  It wasn’t that I wanted to see Xander, or Raif, or any of them gone. To tell the truth, thinking about it made my heart clench and my lungs seize up. Dysfunctional as we were, they were all still a family to me and I wasn’t ready to go back to the detachment I’d lived with for too many years to count.

  “He won’t leave the city. Not without you.”

  I’d heard this song and dance before. Xander was nothing if not stubborn, but I wasn’t going to let him be. Not anymore. “He doesn’t have a choice. If he stays, he loses his throne. I don’t see any way around that.” Xander loved his kingdom, his position, more than anything. If push came to shove—and it had—he wouldn’t abandon his throne or his people.

  “Believe me, I’ve tried. When you were taken, I told him to forget about you. To let the Jinn sniff you out and bring you home on his own. Obviously, he didn’t listen to me.”

  Wow. She sure knew how to warm a girl’s heart. “Push harder, then.”

  “What did Padma do to you, Darian? What did she do to him?”

  I averted my gaze. I wouldn’t tell her what had happened to Xander. His wasn’t my story to tell and the rest of us had vowed to lock it away in the vault. “She made me pay,” I said, “for killing Azriel.”

  “And Xander?”

  I headed for the door. I’d
said what I came here to say. “Don’t let him retreat, Anya. Give him something to care about.”

  “What would you suggest I convince him to care about?”

  “Not what.” I pulled open the door and turned to face her. “Who.” I gave her a pointed look and shut the door behind me without giving her a chance to respond.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  I left Xander’s without looking for Raif or stopping to talk to Asher. They both had their hands full and I didn’t want to waste a second of anyone’s time. I went home, hoping to find Ty there. Instead, I was welcomed by a quiet studio that left me too alone with my thoughts. I wasn’t ready to think about today. About Xander and the wild look in his eyes, or the words that he’d whispered close to my ear. And so, I retreated to the only place that I could be free of my own damned over-thinking mind and took a nap. Real mature, I know. But I felt as though I’d earned a reprieve from the thoughts and emotions that weighed me down.

  When I woke, the sun had already set and the city was cloaked in darkness. Again, Ty was conspicuously absent. I dragged my ass out of bed, got dressed, and headed to The Pit. Even if he wasn’t there, I could let the weekend crowd distract me from my worries for a while.

  Decked out in my signature black, I walked the streets in my corporeal form. Xander’s talk of shadows made me shy from the comfort and anonymity of their company. It was the first time in a century that I felt as though I couldn’t seek solace in the warm embrace of my ethereal self. I’d left my katana at home, but tucked the daggers into sheaths at the small of my back that were hidden by the length of my duster. They were creepy fuckers, but the nearly sentient enchanted weapons had saved my bacon in Padma’s labyrinth. They’d become a bit of a security blanket.

  I took a short cut and ducked into a back alley to shave a block from my walk. Supernatural energy crawled up the nape of my neck and over my scalp. The daggers hummed in their sheaths, urging me to draw them. Danger, Will Robinson! I kept my pace steady and my gaze straight ahead. My senses, however, I put on high alert.

  A cloud of black smoke swept my feet out from under me. For a moment, I was suspended in midair before a force slammed me into the brick wall on the opposite side of the alley. The air left my lungs in a whoosh of breath and the impact left me dazed and disoriented. I shook the fog from my mind and pushed myself up. The dark cloud hovered over me, a pair of blood-red slits that might have passed for eyes glowed from where its head would have been if it had possessed an actual physical form. It came at me again, a rush of cold wind that drew the breath from my lungs in a shocked gasp. My body slammed hard against the brick wall and my knees gave out as I slumped to the pavement once again.

  An unintelligible language vibrated around me, through me, inside of me in a malevolent hiss. I didn’t understand the words, but I felt the power of them over every inch of my skin. They were a warning. Or a curse. Hell, maybe both.

  I shivered from the cold that engulfed me, violent tremors that caused my teeth to chatter. The mass of darkness descended until it hovered mere inches from my face. The glowing red slashes of its eyes studied me and a predatory growl shook the asphalt beneath me. And as quickly as it had attacked, the thing dissipated into the air. Gone. Leaving nothing behind but the pungent odor of sulfur and my own goddamned fear.

  Holy shit.

  The innate sense of my own near-death rattled me. I had no idea what the cloud of dark matter that attacked me was, but somehow, there was no doubt in my mind that if it had wanted me dead, I would have been. Alone, freezing, and scared, it took several minutes before I could peel myself off of the pavement to stand.

  For months, others had watched out for me. Ty, Raif…Asher. Even Xander. I’d gotten used to the reassurance of knowing that someone had my back. Had grown too comfortable. Ash and Raif had their own problems now. So did Xander. What truly shook me up, though, was Ty’s absence. He didn’t just protect me because he loved me. It was his job. Our bond gave him a sort of Spidey-sense that clued him in when I was in danger. He should have popped out of thin air ten or so minutes ago. Which meant that there was something wonky going on with our bond, or Ty was dealing with trouble of his own.

  My corporeal form melted into darkness as I sought the anonymity of shadow. I raced through the alleys, riding the wind currents as panic goaded me through the city streets. If anyone knew where Tyler was, it would be Levi. I stepped from the shadows and regained my form before I hit the red velvet rope at the entrance to The Pit. Tiny, the weekend bouncer, gave me a wide smile as he waved me up to the front of the line.

  The smile shifted into a frown of concern. “You okay, Darian? You look a little rattled.”

  “I’m good.” I was twitchy as fuck. “How’s it hangin’, Tiny?” The small talk wasn’t doing shit to calm me down. I dug my heels into my boots and resisted the urge to bounce with impatience. All I wanted was to get inside and find Ty.

  “Same old, same old,” Tiny said in his low, gravelly voice. He pulled the rope aside to let me through. “Have a good night, Darian.”

  “You too.” I rushed through the entrance and pushed my way past the press of bodies that crowded the bar.

  “Levi!” He had his head down, mixing drinks as fast as he could fill the glasses. The usual weekend crowd had tripled because of a hotshot guest DJ making a one-night appearance. My panic mounted until I thought I might pass right the fuck out on the goddamned floor. “Levi!” I shouted again over the roar of voices and thump of music.

  His head came up and he scanned the crowd. Our eyes met and a furrow dug into his brow. That all-too knowing expression chilled the blood in my veins. “Where’s Tyler?”

  It wasn’t a matter of whether he knew where Ty was or not. His expression let me know that he wasn’t about to spill the beans. God damn it. “Something just tried to fuck my shit up, Levi.” Maybe I could force an answer out of him. “A big, dark, scary black cloud with red glowing eyes. Ever seen anything like that?” Accusation flavored my tone and Levi looked away as though preoccupied with the drink he was making. “Could something like that have gone after Ty? You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?” I leaned over the bar for emphasis. I’d get right in his face if that’s what it took to get him to meet my gaze and answer my questions. “You’ve seen it before.”

  “Tyler’s fine, Darian.” Levi scooted the drink he’d made across the bar and scooped up a bill from the bar top. “Do me a favor though, and don’t leave here until he gets back.” He gave me a brief look of genuine concern before mixing a quick gin and tonic. He slid it across the bar to me without a single word before turning his attention back to the bodies crowding in to order drinks.

  I snatched the drink from the bar and headed off toward my usual table. The not knowing ate at me. Where was he? What in the hell was going on? And why had an evil black cloud of doom come after me?

  It was easier to dwell on my worry for Tyler than to let the memory of my month of captivity overtake me. Inevitably, my thoughts drifted to Xander. We’d survived the same hell. Was it fair of me to dump him on Raif and Anya and expect them to pick up the pieces and set him right when they had no idea what they were dealing with? Would it help Xander to heal if I kept my distance or would it push him farther into madness? I was scared to death of making the wrong decision. Of choosing the path that would lead to ruin. It’s not like good choices were my forte. My best intentions always went awry and I ended up fucking over everyone I cared about rather than helping them. Would I hurt Xander if I stayed away?

  “May I join you?”

  A cold finger of dread flicked up my spine. I turned slowly and brought my gaze up to meet Merrick’s face. He might have been considered attractive with his tall, lean body, precisely clipped and coifed hair, wide smile, and strong jaw. He could have passed for forty-five, though I knew he was much, much older. His eyes gave everything away. In the brown-green depths was an age and wisdom that seemed fathomless.

  Violent waves of energy washed
over me. Unlike anything I’d ever felt. Merrick didn’t even try to mask his power. He wanted me to feel it. Wanted to intimidate me. Or at the very least, let me know what I might be up against.

  I cocked a brow. “If I say no?”

  He shrugged. “That’s your prerogative, I suppose.”

  The warm baritone of his voice carried to my ears over the din of music. An almost quiet settled around my table, as though he’d cast a bubble around us to allow our conversation to remain at a civil decibel. Apparently Merrick didn’t enjoy shouting to be heard. Not that I would have had any trouble either way.

  From under the table I stretched my leg and shoved out the chair opposite me. I couldn’t deny my curiosity about the guy powerful enough to rule over the Synod. Not that I expected him to be forthcoming with information.

  Levi’s dad stood out like cotton ball in a bucket full of coal. The Pit wasn’t exactly the sort of place you’d find such a refined looking gentleman. He settled himself in the seat across from me with all of the grace and composure of a diplomat sitting down for negotiations. He held out a hand and said, “I’m Merrick. It’s nice to finally meet you, Darian.”

  I looked down at his hand for the barest of seconds before reaching across the table to shake it. His skin was colder than Ty’s, as though he’d just come in from a raging snowstorm. Or lived in a freaking deep-freeze. I didn’t speak. If I opened my mouth a string of accusations would fly out and if I didn’t play it close to the hip, I’d ruin any chances I might have at coaxing some information out of him. Namely, where in the hell Tyler was.

  “Both Tyler and Levi speak very highly of you.” His gaze bore into me as though he knew every thought that had ever manifested in my mind. “A most unusual charge. I find it curious that Tyler has found himself bound to such a capable individual.”

  I didn’t think Merrick’s words had been meant as a compliment.

  “The Synod knows about the…complexities of your relationship,” Merrick continued, totally unfazed at my reticence. “Has Tyler explained to you that it’s forbidden?”