Tyler was angry. His lips were pressed together so tightly they had a white outline around them and a muscle worked in his jaw. Tears burned behind her eyes at the thought that he might be mad at her for keeping this secret.
“Where is your mother now?”
Her throat tightened painfully and she had to clear her throat a few times before she could answer. “She died about three and a half years ago. She got drunk and ran her car into a tree. The paramedics said she died instantly.”
His mouth hanging open, Tyler placed his hands on the table as if to hold onto something solid. “How did I not know this? I don’t remember you taking a trip for your mother’s funeral. Did you not go?”
She remembered that time well. It had cost her every single cent she’d saved since hitting Los Angeles. Luckily she’d just been in a movie and was living in the guest cottage for almost nothing. “I did go, although there wasn’t a service or anything. Someone had to claim the body. I had her cremated. You were in Toronto shooting a Thunder movie.”
“And you never mentioned it.”
He didn’t phrase it as a question because they both knew the answer. She hadn’t told him for a myriad of reasons. Hopefully she could get him to understand what she’d been thinking.
A few tears of fear slipped down her cheeks and she swiped at them with her fingers. “You had this wonderful and loving childhood, Tyler. Your parents adore you and were there for you, like moms and dads are supposed to be. I never had that and I was ashamed of what people might think about me. For the longest time I blamed myself. That maybe if I’d been a better daughter or more lovable Sharon wouldn’t have to drink every day. I know now it’s a load of horse shit but at the time I really believed it. When I came to Hollywood I wanted a brand-new start with my past behind me.”
“As if it didn’t exist,” Tyler murmured. “As if you as a child didn’t exist. You obliterated every sign of her and became a new person.”
“Basically? Yes,” Billie agreed. “I didn’t want to be poor, cold, and hungry anymore. I wanted to be beautiful and glamorous. I wanted to have the life that I’d seen on television so I came to the place were dreams are literally manufactured.”
She waited as patiently as she could while Tyler digested all that she’d revealed. His anger wasn’t as palpable and had changed into a sort of sadness. She hadn’t wanted his pity either but it was preferable to his rage.
“Where is your sister?”
This was the more complicated part and honestly, she’d rather keep silent about it but she’d decided that she would tell him the truth. That meant all of the dirty details.
“That’s the second part of this story,” Billie finally said, carefully choosing her words. “Sierra reacted to Sharon’s drinking differently than I did. She always had boyfriends because I think she needed to feel loved. Eventually she met her current husband and he’s a fucking loser who verbally and physically abuses her. I tried to get her to leave him but she never would and eventually she got tired of the arguing. On the day that I showed up to her house to bring her with me to Los Angeles she ordered me out of her life. She said she hated me. I haven’t talked to her since but I do occasionally speak with a mutual friend who still lives in Wisconsin.”
“Wisconsin?” Tyler’s brows quirked. “So that’s where you come from. You always just said the Midwest which could be anywhere from Nebraska to Ohio. Of course all of this explains why you don’t drink. I’ve wondered about that.”
But he’d respected her privacy and never asked. “I drank some in high school as well, but I didn’t really enjoy it and after seeing my mother and her long line of men I figured it was a bad idea to do it. I didn’t want to go down that road. I wanted a better life.”
Sierra had too but she’d never had a chance. A few bad decisions and it went sideways.
Tyler looked at her now, his intense gaze almost stripping her bare as if he could see all the way inside of her mind and heart. “She’s your twin. You have to miss her a great deal.”
A sob caught in Billie’s throat and she rubbed at a few stray tears. “Sometimes it’s as if I’ve lost a limb. We weren’t identical twins but we were close. We spent almost all of our time together growing up. We were a team and she was my best friend…and then suddenly she wasn’t anymore. I knew I had to leave and make something of my life.”
Tyler’s smile was gently. “Babe, I think you’ve looked back a whole hell of a lot. You might not have said anything to me about this but I know this had to have been in the back of your mind all these years. I’m sorry you haven’t talked to your sister.”
She hadn’t cried this much in years. Certainly not since she’d met Tyler. “She hated me then and maybe she hates me now. I don’t know. I do know that I must be a horrible person for getting out of there and leaving her.”
“If you didn’t leave you might have ended up the same. It’s not terrible to want a life for yourself. You tried to help her.”
“Did I try enough?”
Tyler ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it sticking up on its ends. “It’s been my experience that people have to help themselves and that sometimes you have no choice but to walk away. If she wouldn’t let you help her it would be cruel to ask you to stick around and watch her destroy her life with a man that hurt her.”
That’s pretty much what it had been like. At some point, Billie’s survival instincts had kicked in and she’d run for her life. The only thing she’d had by then was a crappy apartment she’d shared with three other girls, a wreck of a car, cheap clothes, and two lousy waitressing jobs with handsy male customers. She’d been going nowhere fast. But the guilt of leaving had never quite gone away.
“I’m hoping she’ll really leave him for good this time. That’s what the money was for. My friend called and said Sierra was in the hospital. Her loser husband had beat the shit out of her and she was so skinny and frail she was having a hard time recovering. Connie begged me for the money to help Sierra pay the hospital bills, get a divorce, change her name, and start a new life. He threatened to kill her next time. That’s why I changed my mind and said yes. I needed the money.”
Reaching across the table, he captured Billie’s hands in his own much larger ones. “Baby, I would have just given you the money. You don’t owe me a goddamn thing. Shit, was it even enough? Do you need more?”
Shaking her head, Billie slid her hands out from under his and tucked them into her lap.
“No, it’s all fine. Connie says that Sierra is doing better.”
“We can go visit her if you want,” Tyler offered, looking hurt from her withdrawal. “In a few weeks when she’s feeling better.”
“I don’t think she’ll want to see me. She hates me.”
Something Sierra had been happy to tell Billie every time they talked.
“I doubt that. That’s the situation talking. Once she’s away from him, I bet she’ll be glad to have her sister back. So will you.”
“I’m not holding my breath.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Tyler shook his head. “That’s a hell of a story, baby girl. I have to admit I never would have guessed it.”
Billie took a breath and held it, tears squeezing from her eyes. “Are you mad at me? Do you hate me too?”
Tyler was out of his chair so fast it felt backward with a clunk against the tile. Rounding the table, he pulled her up and locked his arms around her like steel bands.
“I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that again. Do you understand me? I am not angry. I admit I was at first but now I’m mostly just mad at your mom and the system that let you down. You deserved a better life than that and I’m going to make sure that you get it.”
He didn’t understand and she had to make him see. Cupping his jaw in her hands, she turned his head so their gazes clashed.
“You already have, Tyler. You’re not only my best friend, you’re my family. You’re my home. That’s why I’m so scared about this blo
wing up in my face. If I lose you as a best friend, it will be the second time in my life. I barely survived the first.”
Resting his forehead on hers, they stood like that for a long time as she drew strength from his hold. Everything seemed to fade into the background and all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart. His soft breath landed on her cheek in perfect rhythm and she allowed her eyes to drift shut and her body, that had been so tense before, relaxed against his.
Billie could have happily stayed like this forever but it wasn’t the most practical way to spend their days and nights. Eventually his hold loosened and she stepped back, sighing at the loss of warmth. His fingers smoothed down her still damp cheeks before carding through her tangled hair.
“I promise you that I will never leave you no matter what. You’re just as important to me as I am to you.” He lifted her chin so she was looking into his eyes. “I just wish you trusted me.”
“I do. More than anyone I’ve ever met.”
He was already shaking his head in denial. “You believe that but it isn’t true. I’m not sure you’ve ever trusted anyone in your entire life, but now I understand why. I’ll say again what I said before. I’ll earn your trust. I just know now that it’s going to be a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would.”
If Tyler couldn’t do it, she doubted it would ever happen.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Unable to sleep, Tyler padded down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Twisting it open, he took several gulps, wetting his parched throat.
After listening to Billie’s woeful tale at dinner earlier he’d experienced a myriad of emotions running through him as he’d tossed and turned, trying to sleep. Anger at her mother for not giving Billie the home she needed, then pity for that same woman who had been the victim of her own human frailties. Not everyone was cut out to be a parent – especially a single parent – and it appeared that Sharon Oliver fell into that category.
Those same feelings surrounded Sierra as well, although they were mixed with a kind of hopefulness. Perhaps this time she could pull her life together and have a future that wasn’t filled with fear and pain. Tyler wouldn’t mind having ten minutes alone with her abusive husband to help him learn how to treat a woman. He didn’t have any patience for a male – he couldn’t call him a true man – who mentally or physically hurt a female.
Billie had answered so many unasked questions tonight when she’d told him about her nightmare of a childhood. It explained so much about Tyler’s best friend. The independent streak a mile-wide. Her reticence to ask for help. Her fear of trusting another human being although desperately wanting to.
Tyler had a memory of when he was a kid and they’d adopted his beloved dog Scout. When Scout had come to them he’d been pretty skinny and quite skittish. Although not yet even a year old, the puppy hadn’t been treated well in his former home. He had a fear of humans that made him shy, hiding under the dining room table when he first arrived at the house. Tyler had sat under that table with Scout for hours, not touching him but simply sitting there and talking to him. Every now and then, Scout would move closer, wanting to be petted and loved until finally he’d allowed Tyler to hold him.
Billie reminded him of Scout, although she might not appreciate the comparison. She hadn’t cowered under a table but she’d been hiding her heart for a long time, protecting it. So busy with his own life, Tyler hadn’t noticed at first and then when he had he’d decided that it was none of his business.
He hadn’t pushed her for details or to go out of her comfort zone. It wasn’t in his nature to push for intimate and emotional information about a person’s life and Billie hadn’t displayed any outward damage from her childhood. She’d smiled and laughed like other people, but with a certain maturity that was far beyond her years. Their friendship had deepened and he’d thought that she really did trust him. She kind of did as long as she was in her comfort zone. But an engagement and an upcoming wedding had thrown her into unchartered territory. Suddenly it mattered because if she couldn’t open herself up and trust him – for real – this was going to be one miserable marriage.
And that brought up the big unanswered question.
Was there anything else important that Billie hadn’t told him?
Somehow his feet had carried him into his office and he sat down at the desk, a voice in his head saying no but a second voice saying yes. Tyler dug into one of the drawers and pulled out the file on Billie that Garrett had given him and placed it in front of him on the desk.
Closed.
Staring at it for a long time, Tyler’s hand finally came up to flip it open but then fell back to his side. It wasn’t right. His stomach churned and acid rose in his throat. He couldn’t betray Billie by reading the contents but there was also a vocal part of him that exhorted him to do just that. Didn’t he deserve the truth? They were going to be husband and wife. Married, for fuck’s sake.
A make-believe marriage.
His conscience was chatty tonight, but he was starting to see what Billie had said about things changing and marriage being a bigger deal than he’d thought. Even a make-believe marriage had to be grounded and solid. It had certainly pulled his blinders off regarding his new fiancée. They’d been gliding along, just skimming the surface, but whether they liked it or not they were diving deep and figuring out what made the other one tick.
The folder still sat on the desk, mocking him for being such a wimp. It was practically screaming at him…open me. Open me. Learn all of Billie’s secrets. Know everything. Take the shortcut and figure her out in one fell swoop.
And it would be a shortcut. The easy way. He wouldn’t have to put the work in. He wouldn’t make any stupid mistakes with her because of something he didn’t know. It was tempting as hell and his hand reached for the folder once again.
No. Fuck no. Don’t do this.
For the second time he pulled his arm back as if he’d touched a hot stove. This file…was wrong. Garrett should never have done this. Billie had told Tyler of her past of her own free will. If there was anything else he needed to know, she’d tell him. He wouldn’t be opening this file tonight or any other night. If the fireplace had been lit he would have thrown it in and let the flames eat it until it was ashes.
“Tyler, what are you doing up?”
Startled, Tyler sucked in a breath and snapped his head up to see Billie standing in the office doorway. Guiltily, he shoved the file under a stack of scripts, not wanting her to see what he’d been looking – or not looking – at. Billie and Garrett had a good relationship and Tyler didn’t want to ruin that by revealing what the publicist had done. She’d be livid and rightly so.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he said, pretending to leaf through a stack of mail. “I thought I might read through some of my fan mail. What’s your story?”
Shrugging, she perched on the corner of his desk and he couldn’t help but notice the smooth skin of her thigh and the way the strap of her tank top sagged down, exposing a bare shoulder. His body responded as if she’d stripped naked, rubbed on body glitter and was dancing on a pole in Las Vegas. Shit, she wasn’t even trying to be attractive and now he couldn’t seem to get away from seeing it every time he looked at her. This was becoming damn inconvenient.
This was Billie and he needed to get his dirty mind out of the gutter.
“I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep so I came down for some water and saw the office door open.” She smiled and his chest tightened so he could hardly take a breath. What in the hell was happening to him? “I don’t suppose I could convince you to leave the fan mail for another day and watch a movie with me instead? I’ll even let you choose.”
They’d played this game before. She’d let him choose but then when he did she’d make such a sad face he’d end up picking something else. Something she would have chosen. And he didn’t mind a bit. He might not know every secret from her past but there were a bunch of thing
s he did know about her.
“Weekend at Bernie’s,” he said. “You go cue up the movie and I’ll pop the popcorn.”
Tyler had his best friend back and he couldn’t be happier. It was all going to be just fine. He just had to stop thinking about taking her to bed every five minutes.
* * *
Clearly Billie had made a mistake staying up and watching Weekend at Bernie’s with Tyler last night. Now she was yawning and bleary-eyed, sucking down coffee as fast as the machine could brew it. She’d even skipped her usual workout because she might fall over in heap on the side of the trail. Tyler, on the other hand, was bouncing around like Tigger, full of energy. Working torturous hours on movie sets had trained him to live on little sleep. Not able to handle his cheery disposition, she’d sent him on his run to get a little peace and quiet while she caffeinated.
She was on her third cup of coffee when the doorbell rang. As far as she knew, they weren’t expecting anyone. Then there was the question of how they entered through the gates of the home without the code.
Frowning, she hurried to the front door as the doorbell pealed again. Whoever was on the other side was impatient this morning. Billie opened the door to find a young man maybe in his mid to late twenties with longish brown hair and wire-rimmed glasses. He wore a pair of faded blue jeans and a red and gold Gryffindor t-shirt that looked well-loved. Tucked under one arm was a brown messenger bag stuffed to the gills. He didn’t look like the usual fan that jumped the gate but she’d learned that looks could be deceiving. He sure as heck didn’t look like a reporter either.
“Can I help you?”
Call the police? Lock the doors and activate the security alarm?
The young man smiled and held out his hand. “I hope I’m not late. I got a little turned around. I’m Curtis. Curtis MacDonald. You must be Billie Oliver.”
He knew who she was which was no great feat, considering her face had been featured on several tabloids since the engagement. But Curtis was looking at her like she was supposed to know who he was. Except that she didn’t. If she went the honesty route he might do the same.
Wild on the Red Carpet (The Hollywood Showmance Chronicles Book 3) Page 10
