by R. E. Butler
They left the office, Mia holding his hand as casually as if they were heading out for a lunch date. He liked how easy it was to be with her, even if he didn’t really understand how she could forgive him so quickly. He’d expected to need to grovel for a few months to get back into her good graces again.
Stranger still was how content the berserker was. He could practically picture the monster grinning like an idiot now that their sweet-smelling mate was by their side. The guards were behind them, close enough that he could smell the gun oil on their holstered weapons, but they weren’t crowding them and that was enough to keep the beast from starting anything.
He rounded the corner to his cubicle and found Simon, Neil, and Isaac waiting. A cardboard box sat on top of the desk. He’d never kept many personal items in the office. It was part and parcel of keeping his professional and personal lives separate.
“At least you didn’t get jail time,” Simon said as Lucian sat at the desk and checked through each drawer.
“Yeah,” he said. “It could’ve been worse.”
“On the bright side,” Neil said, “you got the girl, and isn’t that what all of us real action heroes want at the end of the day?”
Mia started to giggle, and Lucian smiled at her. Simon punched Neil on the arm. “Idiot.”
“What?” Neil said, grinning as he rubbed the spot that Simon had hit. “You can’t say it never crossed your mind what would happen if you decided to walk away and start a life outside of all this.”
“I think I’d get out first, and then I’d start a real life,” Simon said.
Lucian grimaced and glanced at Mia. She smiled gently at him, which made him marvel once more at how gracious she was. And how damn lucky he was.
Lucian finished gathering his personal items and then went to his teammates, shaking their hands and getting manly, shoulder-slapping hugs from them.
“The team won’t be the same without you,” Neil said.
“I wish I could say we’ll be in touch,” Simon said. He shrugged and didn’t finish his sentence.
“I know. Thank you, guys, for everything. You saved my ass by bringing me my girl.”
“You’ve saved our asses many more times than we can count,” Isaac said. To Mia he said, “Take care of him, you hear?”
“You bet,” Mia answered.
“If you ever leave the organization, look me up,” Lucian said.
Not that he expected them to, but at least the offer was there. His friends, like every other hunter, were in it for life. Lucian had been at one time, too. He took Mia’s hand, tucked the box under his other arm, and walked out the front door. He was a free man, in more ways than one, but he was far from ready to just go home with Mia and start a new life with her.
A black SUV waited for them outside of the gate. He and Mia got in and sat in the second row.
“We have permission to take you wherever you’d like to go,” the driver said.
Lucian gave them his father’s address, which one of them entered into the GPS. Lucian settled back in the seat and drew Mia close.
“What now?” she asked.
“First I talk to my father, and then you and I have a date with a shower.”
She hummed happily and rested her head on his chest. “I love how you think.”
Chapter 11
Mia stifled a squeak as she got out of the SUV and stretched. Lucian took the box of his belongings – nothing more than a few mementos and service awards – and thanked the males. When the SUV had disappeared down the winding road away from the house, she turned to Lucian.
“What’s up with your last name?”
“My real last name is Rhodes. When my mother was killed, my grandparents changed my name to Carnahan.”
“But the little sign on your cubicle said Devoe.”
“When I joined the hunters, I was given a new last name and identity. It was to keep my family safe.”
She chewed on her bottom lip. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
“What?”
“You’ve given up so much because of me.” Tears stung her eyes, and the bravado that she’d used as a shield since she found Lucian chained up in a cell crumbled.
He grabbed her around the waist and drew her against him. “I’m not sorry. I get you, Mia. I know I have a lot to make up for, and as soon as we’re able to get time to talk, my past is an open book.”
She stared up at her handsome mate. She’d been in love with him for as long as she could remember, but it was a young love, and one that hadn’t been returned. She hadn’t understood his actions, and she wasn’t sure she did now, but maybe in time she would.
The front door creaked open and Jasper said, “Dinner’s on the table.”
Lucian opened his mouth, and Mia could tell he was going to protest. She put her hand over his mouth and said, “Thanks, Jasper. We’ll be right in.”
Lucian kissed her palm and said in a muffled voice, “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“Yeah you were. Something about a shower.”
His brow arched. “I can’t help how my mind always goes there.”
“I’m not complaining,” she said, removing her hand and going onto her toes to kiss him. “But your dad helped save me. Clearly he has things to tell you. So let’s get to it, okay?”
He exhaled slowly with a growl and she grinned.
They walked into the house, and her stomach rumbled as soon as she smelled the grilled steak.
Lucian said, “I’m being a bad mate already.”
“Because I’m hungry?” she asked as he pulled out a chair for her.
“Yeah.”
“Well, to be fair, I didn’t say anything. And I didn’t really feel hungry until I smelled the steak.”
Lucian took a seat next to her and draped his arm over the back of her chair.
“I prepared so much food because I’d hoped that you might come along with my son,” Jasper said as he set a large platter of meat in the center of the table, and surrounded it with ceramic bowls containing different side dishes.
“He mentioned needing to talk to you several times.”
Lucian put the biggest steak on her plate and set a baked potato next to it. She slid the knife through the top of the potato and pushed the sides in so it opened. As she loaded the interior with butter and sour cream, Lucian and Jasper filled their plates. Jasper kept the conversation going by asking her about her life and the pack. When the meal was over, they moved to the family room, where a comfortable couch took up most of the space.
Lucian didn’t sit. “I need you to tell me how to keep the berserker under control.”
Jasper paused, halfway to sitting in a recliner. “Okay. But you really don’t need my help, you know.”
“Of course I do! Newsflash, Dad, I’ve got a mate and a baby on the way. I can’t…I can’t let what happened to me, happen to my young.”
Jasper sat. “You don’t know what happened.”
Lucian growled, and Mia stood, moving to him and wrapping her arms around his middle. The growl stopped as soon as it started, and he relaxed against her.
Jasper shook his head. “That right there is proof you don’t need my help. But since you seem to be really confused about what happened to your mother, sit down and let me talk.”
Mia tugged on his arm, and he followed her to sit on the couch. She realized she knew nothing about his past before he came to Wilde Creek. She’d known he was raised by his grandparents and that his mom had died, but she didn’t know that he blamed his father for her death. Or blamed his father’s berserker.
“Lisa and I met in high school. She was…damn, she was so lovely and sweet. We dated off and on for a few years, and she got pregnant with you. Then we found out you were a boy, and that meant you would be a berserker. Because she wasn’t my true mate, I offered to take you and raise you on my own and let her live her own life. She didn’t want to be separated from you. I married her before you were born, and we moved up here. T
hings were fine for a few years, and then the alpha of a small pack passing through town scented her and believed her to be his truemate.”
Lucian shook his head. “How is that possible? If she was your mate, then she wouldn’t smell unmated to another supernatural creature.”
“Lisa wasn’t my berserker’s other half. I never laid a hand on her, and she never riled the beast, so she wasn’t in danger from me. Ever. Her family hated me, though. They wouldn’t allow me into their homes, and they were afraid of you, too. When the alpha approached her, she said she had a mate and a child, and that she’d never leave either of us.
“I told her it wasn’t fair for her to stay with me and you, when the alpha was her truemate and I was just a guy lucky enough to have a few wonderful years with her. She was very loyal, though. She said we were married and a family, and that wasn’t going to change just because a wolf happened to scent her. She told him to take a hike, but he didn’t take the hint. He waited for me to leave for work one night, and then he came to the house. Looking for you.”
He leveled his gaze at Lucian.
“Me?” Lucian asked.
Jasper nodded. “He believed that as long as you were alive, Lisa would never leave me. I’d forgotten my wallet, so I turned around. When I got home, I saw wolves pacing around the house, howling and getting worked up. The front door was hanging off its hinges, and Lisa was screaming for help. I let my berserker out and raced into the house. The alpha had you by the throat. You’d gone limp, and I thought he’d broken your neck. The alpha threw you at me and tried to gut me with his claws as I caught you, but Lisa jumped between us and he took out her throat instead.
“He dropped to his knees with a howl and tried to help her, but she pushed him away and crawled to me. Made me swear to keep you safe, and then she died. The wolves scattered. I called her parents and they took you to the hospital.”
Mia brushed at tears with shaking fingers. “Did you kill them?”
Jasper nodded. “It took me almost a week to track them all down, but I did.”
Lucian looked stricken. “When I woke up in the hospital, my grandparents told me that you killed her and tried to kill me because of the berserker. Why would they lie?”
“They didn’t like me. And to be fair, it is my fault she’s dead.”
“It’s not your fault,” Mia protested.
“It was. I knew she wasn’t my mate, but I stayed with her anyway. If I hadn’t, when that wolf came through town he would have found her and she wouldn’t have felt obligated to stay with me. He was an asshole, but if his mate hadn’t been mated he might not have gone crazy like he did and try to take out what was keeping them apart.
“I didn’t want to be alone. I was selfish, and it cost me everything. I told her parents to keep an eye on you while I avenged her. When I got back, I was met by a police officer and given a restraining order. They had money and lawyers, and I didn’t have anything. I couldn’t fight them, and you hated me so much. I hated myself.”
Mia couldn’t believe that Lucian’s grandparents had so successfully turned him against his father, but then Lucian had been young and traumatized.
“When you first came to Wilde Creek, I don’t think you talked to anyone for a month,” she said. “Did your grandparents get you help?”
“Yeah, I saw a psychiatrist for a while, but I didn’t remember anything that happened. In my memory, she and I were sitting down at the kitchen table for a bedtime snack, and then…I woke up in the hospital and they told me that you’d killed her. Everyone hated you and blamed you, and when you didn’t come for me I figured they were telling the truth.”
“They wouldn’t let me see you,” Jasper said. “I hoped when you were old enough that you’d seek me out, but you didn’t. Not until you showed up yesterday asking for my help.”
Mia arched a brow at Lucian. “He helped you after you hadn’t seen him in over twenty years?”
Lucian nodded.
Silence settled over them, and Mia kept her lips zipped. It wasn’t her place to tell Lucian to do or say anything, even though she thought his dad had gotten the raw end of the deal. Lisa hadn’t been his mate, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t valued her.
Lucian’s voice was low and strained. “I’m sorry, Dad.”
Jasper stood and held out his hand to Lucian, who stared at it intensely for what felt like an eternity. Then he stood slowly and took his dad’s hand, using it to pull him close for a hug. Lucian’s shoulders shook and Mia could smell the saltwater of his tears, which made her eyes sting. Jasper looked at her over Lucian’s shoulders and smiled. Then he pushed Lucian to arm’s length and said, “I don’t blame you for staying away from me. You were young, and they used that against you. But you’re here now, and I hope you’ll let me be part of your life again.”
Lucian scrubbed at his cheeks and sniffed. “I have to check with my mate.”
Mia laughed. “Now you’re just being silly.”
Lucian smiled at her, and she could tell he was genuinely happy. And she was, too. Of course they had a lot of catching up to do, but at least the bridge had been mended, and that was what mattered.
* * *
Lucian felt like a boulder-sized weight was off his shoulders now. He’d blamed his father for his mother’s death. That he hadn’t turned into a bitter male because of it was a miracle. He wanted to apologize a hundred times, but he knew it wouldn’t change the aches of the past. All they could do was move on.
He sat back down next to Mia, tugging her into his side and inhaling her sweet scent. His berserker rubbed against his skin, wanting to get closer to her. Like naked-close.
He glanced at his father, who was sitting in the recliner once more. “What did you mean when you said that Mia was the reason I didn’t need to learn to control the berserker?”
“She’s your other half.”
“Yes, she’s my mate.”
He shook his head. “No. Well, yes. But what I mean is that berserkers don’t have mates, per se. What we have is called a cyon. It means that she’s your true other half – the calm to your storm, the balm for your berserker. Now that you’ve claimed her, your berserker will never harm her or anyone else unjustly. You won’t lose yourself to the beast and go on a killing spree. Unless of course Mia’s in danger. Then all bets are off.”
Lucian stroked his fingers over her hand, rubbing her soft skin. Inwardly, he explored the idea. He didn’t feel a desire to kill, which was a good thing. The berserker seemed to smile, as if to say it was all going to be fine now.
“Mia’s my cyon,” he said. “And that’s the same as a mate, right?”
“It would be the berserker version of a truemate. I think the problem is that you’re thinking of your nature as something that has to be harnessed and controlled. In a way, yes – you do need to learn how to channel the berserker in instances where you personally feel threatened, or Mia does. You can’t just go around taking people’s heads because they piss you off. She’s your balance. She’s the reason you won’t go off the deep end.”
“Do you have a cyon?” Mia asked.
“I’ve pretty much been a hermit since Lisa died. If my other half is around, I haven’t met her yet. But who knows what the future may bring.”
Lucian lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the top. “I feared my nature because of the lies my grandparents told. There’s a part of me that’s still flashing warning lights, even though I can feel the berserker and he’s content.”
His father leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You’ve known Mia since you were young, and before your nature had an opportunity to mature and explore the relationship between you two, you had magical tattoos applied and caged him.”
“I always did feel my nature a little more when I was in Wilde Creek.”
Mia looked at him. “Did you know we were mates, or were you so closed to the idea because he was locked up?”
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and said, “I
always felt connected to you, but I wouldn’t let myself explore the feelings. Not only because my job was dangerous, but because I’d been afraid that one day I’d kill you in a rage, the way I thought my mother lost her life.”
“I’m glad he’s not going anywhere. I like him. He’s got red eyes, and that’s my favorite color.”
Lucian’s dad chuckled. “You’ve got a sweet mate, Lucian. I’m happy for you.”
“I think we have a date, right?” Mia said, wiggling her brows slightly.
“Yeah. My car is at the tattoo shop, though, along with my wallet. And we shouldn’t go to my place. Not only because it’s too far, but because it’s part of my old life and I don’t want to stay there with you.”
She sighed. “And it’s probably a terrible idea to go to my place. The protectors are watching it, and then we’ll be interrupted either by Mal or Acksel.”
His dad stood and moved to the front door, where he lifted a set of keys from a wall hook. Then he went into the kitchen for a few minutes. When he came back to the family room he was holding a stack of cash and the keys, which he handed to Lucian.
“My truck is parked behind the house. You can return it when you come visit next time. Get a nice hotel room somewhere and take the time to enjoy each other before you head back to Wilde Creek.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“We could come to visit on Sunday, maybe for dinner?” Mia suggested.
“Steaks again?” Jasper asked with a chuckle. “I’d be happy to have you here for dinner.”
“We’ll be here,” Lucian promised. “Thanks for everything.”
“You bet.”
Lucian led Mia out the back door to the truck. It was an old, beat-up work truck, and the door creaked as he opened it for Mia and helped her climb in. He settled in the blue-upholstered driver’s seat and started the engine. It rumbled to life. He waved at his dad, who was standing at the door, before driving around the house and heading down the drive.
“I feel weird without my phone,” Mia said. “I keep thinking how easy it would be to just call a hotel and make a reservation, but I don’t have it.”
