by Jae
That seemed to cheer Bella up, maybe because it confirmed that Denny still wanted her to be a part of her life. “Deal.” She held her hand up for a high five.
Denny walked around Salem and complied. Then she bent and kissed Bella’s forehead. “You’ll always be my favorite niece, you know that, right?”
“I’m your only nie—” Bella’s head snapped around, and she stared at Salem. “I am her only niece, right? You’re not pregnant or anything, are you?”
Salem tossed up both hands. “What is it with you two and thinking I’m pregnant? For the record, I am not. The next person being welcomed into the Jacobs family will be Eliza, not a baby. That is, if your aunt ever gets up the courage to propose.”
Bella sat up in bed. “You totally should. Then you wouldn’t be alone.” While she had sounded younger than she was earlier, she now looked much older as she directed a concerned gaze at Denny. But then a grin spread over her face, and she added, “And we would have someone who cleans the kitchen after we made blueberry pancakes.”
“Jeez. Such a romantic.” Denny jumped at the chance to lighten the mood. “You definitely don’t get that from me.”
Salem got up from the edge of the bed and kissed Bella’s forehead too. “We’ll talk more about it tomorrow, but are you okay with what we talked about? Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?”
“Can I finish the book?” Bella held up the hardcover she’d been reading. “It’s still early, and I can sleep in tomorrow.”
Salem eyed the remaining pages behind the bookmark. “All right. I’ll look in on you later. But if the book is boring or you want to talk more, come downstairs, okay?” When Bella nodded, Salem walked to the door.
“I’m going over to Eliza’s, so I’ll say good night now.” Denny kissed her niece’s forehead again, then lingered next to the bed for a few seconds. Come on. It’s not like they’re moving out tonight. She’ll still be here when you get back from Eliza’s tomorrow. She forced herself to follow Salem. When she reached the door, she gazed back.
Bella hadn’t opened the book to continue reading. “Aunt Denny?”
“Yeah?”
“If I don’t live with you anymore,” Bella dragged her finger along the covers, like a plow on a field, “can I still join you when Eliza and the twins come over for craft lessons?”
That was what had her worried? Sometimes, a tween’s brain worked in mysterious ways. “Of course. I’d never think of having a craft lesson without you.”
Bella wiped away the groove she’d made with her finger. “Great. Good night.”
“Good night.” Denny took her in for a few more seconds, then turned away and bounded down the stairs. She couldn’t wait to get to Eliza’s and sink into her arms, where she could finally stop reining in her emotions.
On the last step, she remembered she wasn’t going to Eliza’s apartment. They were meeting up with Heather at their favorite Italian restaurant.
Normally, she loved catching up with Heather and hearing the latest stories about her school bus kids, but right now, the only person she wanted to see was Eliza.
Something was going on with Denny. Eliza had sensed it as soon as she had walked into the restaurant. At first she had thought Denny had to adjust to being among people after working from home all week, but that was clearly not it.
Denny picked an artichoke heart from a slice of pizza, popped it into her mouth, and chewed it with as much enjoyment as if it were a piece of cardboard.
“You okay?” Eliza asked quietly.
Denny nodded. “I’m fine.”
After nine months of spending every weekend and most evenings together, Eliza could tell an “I really am fine” from an “I’m not fine at all, but I can’t talk about it at the moment”—and this was definitely the latter. The urge to find out what was wrong and to provide comfort was strong, but she knew she shouldn’t push Denny now.
“So, who’s going to cover our stall at the market tomorrow?” Denny asked. “Heather, is it the two of us again?”
The our made Eliza smile. She allowed the obvious attempt to change the topic but pulled her phone from her pocket and slid her hands beneath the table so she could text Denny under the cover of the tablecloth.
“Yeah, I think Eliza prefers hanging out with her hot boss at the Feathered Friends booth,” Heather said.
Eliza snorted. “Please. I have my own hottie, and Dee doesn’t even know women other than Austen exist.” When Heather was distracted by the waitress asking if she wanted more wine, Eliza tapped out a text beneath the table. What happened? Do I need to kick someone’s ass? I totally can. I have my lucky sneakers on. Without looking, she snapped a photo of her footwear and sent it to Denny.
That put a smile on Denny’s face. Her hands with her phone disappeared under the tablecloth too, and a few moments later, Eliza peeked at her screen and read, Thanks. No ass-kicking required. I’ll tell you later.
Heather regarded them across the table. “Do you two need a minute alone?”
“No.” Denny put her phone back into her pocket, and Eliza followed suit. “Sorry. That was rude of us.”
“You two are lucky you’re stinking cute together, so I’m letting you get away with it.” Heather sobered and eyed Denny with obvious concern. “But are you really okay?”
Denny lowered her gaze to her pizza. For a moment, Eliza thought she would once again claim to be fine, but Denny looked back up and studied Heather. Finally, she nodded to herself, as if deciding that Heather deserved her trust. “Kind of. My sister and Bella are moving out at the end of the month.”
God, no wonder Denny was in such a daze! Eliza reached beneath the table again and took her hand.
Denny clutched her fingers gratefully.
Heather lowered her slice of pizza. “That’s a big change. For all of you. Are you okay with that?”
“It’ll take some getting used to, but I’ll be fine.” Denny clung to Eliza’s hand, even as she chuckled. “Bella is the one who’s struggling to adjust. She said she would only move in with Matt if I teach him how to make blueberry pancakes.”
Eliza’s heart ached for her. She knew Denny was laughing it off because she couldn’t allow herself to feel all the sadness and anxiety over this big change. Not in public. Not with anyone but her.
Heather laughed but sent Eliza a questioning look. So she, too, sensed Denny wasn’t okay, but she didn’t know if she should let her get away with pretending she was.
Eliza subtly shook her head. This wasn’t the time or place where Denny could take her emotional armor down and reveal her big, soft heart.
“The things that worry Bella the most are baffling. It was very important to her that she still be included in our craft lessons.” Denny’s smile seemed less forced, and a warm light entered her eyes as she looked at Eliza. “I think she has a crush on you. Not that I can blame her.”
“Um, honey, I’m pretty sure the reason she’s so eager to come to the craft lessons isn’t me,” Eliza answered. “I think she has a crush on Polly.”
Good thing Denny hadn’t been eating her pizza anyway, or she would have choked. She stared at Eliza. “What? No! She’s only eleven.”
“She’s almost twelve. You were only a year older when you fell in love with your best friend.”
Heather nodded. “Lesbian rite of passage. Been there, done that too.”
Denny took a big swig of her beer. “You really think my niece might have a crush on your niece? How do you know?”
“She gets that special look in her eyes when she looks at Polly. It reminds me of how her aunt looks at me.”
The stunned expression on Denny’s face transformed into a tender smile. She leaned over and kissed Eliza softly. When the kiss ended a moment later, Denny gazed into her eyes and pointed at herself. “This look?”
“Yeah. That’s the one I meant.”
Denny smiled, and the shadows of grief lifted from her eyes.
Heather threw a piece of pizza cru
st across the table. “God, you two! And I thought that honeymoon phase would pass. It’s cute, but I’m telling you right now if you’re late to Saturday Market again, it’ll take more than some waffles to make up for it.”
“Jeez, it happened once,” Eliza said. Her birthday last month didn’t count because Heather had told her to sleep in.
Denny’s blush told her she was thinking about that morning too.
Heather glanced back and forth between them and smirked. “Whatever that blush is about, I’m sure I don’t want to know.” She gestured at Denny’s mostly untouched pizza. “But you’d better clean your plate so you can keep up with your younger lover over there.”
Denny glared but then picked up a slice of pizza and took a big bite.
Two hours later, Denny clung to Eliza in the pull-out bed as she told her all the details she hadn’t wanted to talk about in the restaurant. Usually, she hated crying and making herself vulnerable in front of others, but with Eliza, she felt no shame when the tears she had held back all evening finally spilled over.
Eliza cradled Denny’s head against her shoulder with one hand while she drew a soothing pattern along her bare back with the other. She let Denny talk without interrupting. When Denny was done, she tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand and kissed the corners of her eyes. “It’s going to be weird not having them around at first, but you’ll be fine. You’re not alone; you know that, right?”
Not yet trusting her voice, Denny nodded.
“You’ve got me and my entire family, and it’s not like Salem and Bella are moving to Tibet, where you can never visit them.”
“I know.” Denny sighed. “I’m being a big baby.”
“No, you’re not,” Eliza said. “They’ve lived with you since before Bella was born. It’s a big change. I totally get that.”
Eliza’s understanding warmed Denny from head to toe. She rolled over, taking Eliza with her so they were lying in their favorite cuddle position, with Eliza’s leg thrown across her thighs and her hand resting on Denny’s breast.
“What do you think you’ll miss most?” Eliza asked quietly.
Denny caressed the small of her back with her fingertips while she thought about it. “It might sound strange, but I think it’ll be not waking up to Bella rooting around the kitchen for breakfast. As much as I love my sister, I’ll miss Bella most.”
“That makes sense. I mean, you’ve basically been a second parent to her. A lot of your day was scheduled around her, especially since you started working from home. More often than not, you were the one who made breakfast and dinner, and you dropped her off and picked her up from the bus.”
“Even though she insisted she’s—”
“—not a baby and can walk home alone,” they finished the sentence together and shared a laugh.
The persistent ache making Denny’s throat burn finally lessened. “After nearly twelve years, it’ll be hard to get used to not being responsible for a kid, but like you said, I’ll be fine. Eventually.”
Eliza let out a hum of agreement, her breath fanning over Denny’s shoulder, but she didn’t say anything.
Denny rubbed her fingers back and forth above the dip of her waist. “You okay? You’ve gone very quiet.”
“Just thinking.”
“About what?”
Eliza lifted herself up on one hand and peered at Denny. “Um, maybe you don’t have to get used to that…if you don’t want to.”
“Get used to what?” Denny tried to replay their conversation in her mind but still wasn’t sure what Eliza meant.
Eliza nibbled her bottom lip. Her gaze veered away, then back to Denny’s face. “Not being responsible for a kid.”
Denny’s heart slammed against her ribs. “You don’t mean…?”
“I know I’m totally putting the cart before the horse, but have you ever considered having a kid of your own…of our own?”
Wow. Eliza was indeed talking about what she thought she was talking about! The thought of a toddler with Eliza’s eyes or her cute smile made the burning ache in her throat flare up again. God, she wanted that, but…wasn’t it too selfish? “I don’t know, Eliza. I’m forty-two.”
“Right.” An impish grin formed on Eliza’s lips. “You’re a senior citizen. I keep forgetting that because the things you do to me…” A gasp escaped her. “It always feels like you’re definitely in your prime.”
Denny couldn’t hold back a smile. “Well, I have the right motivation.”
Their lips came together in a tender kiss. Then they paused, legs tangled, and stared at each other.
“Are you serious about this? You want a baby with me?” Denny whispered. “We don’t even live together…unless you want to change that?”
“Do you?”
That question was far easier to answer. “Well, I love the townhouse, and I’d love to have you living there with me. I know it would mean a bit of a commute for you, and I’d totally understand if you don’t want to give up this apartment. I mean, it’s homey and conveniently located and right next to Heather, so…”
“You’re cute when you babble.” Eliza rubbed her nose against Denny’s. “Yes.”
“Um, thanks. I was thinking you could take the MAX to work and…” Her brain finally caught up with what Eliza had said. “Yes? Did you say yes?”
“I did. What’s a bit of a commute if I get to come home to you every night?”
They kissed again, then once more.
Denny’s entire body vibrated with happiness. She would get to share a home with Eliza! But that wasn’t all. Eliza also wanted them to have a child together. “I mentioned thinking I was too old for kids before. But you never said anything about wanting them.”
“We were talking about kids in general, not about having kids together,” Eliza said. “And back then, I wasn’t sure kids were part of my life plan. I mean, I never not wanted them, but—”
“Um, what?” Denny’s mind was reeling. “You lost me.”
“A year or so ago, I didn’t feel the burning need for a child. I wasn’t against the idea, but kids were more of a nice-to-have, not a must-have for me.”
“I remember you running out on SongBoy77 when he mentioned wanting you to have his babies.” The memory made Denny chuckle.
Eliza snorted. “Yeah, and then you got me out of that date by pretending to give birth to triplets.”
“Hmm, I sense a common theme. So, what changed?”
“I fell in love with you,” Eliza said with the emotional openness Denny admired so much. Her eyes shone. “As soon as I met you, it was like putting on my favorite pair of sneakers. You just fit. We fit. You’re loving and loyal and so wonderful with kids. When I watch you with Bella or my nieces and nephew, I just melt.” She let out a wistful sigh. “But if having a baby with me is not what you want, that’s totally okay. This only works if you want it too, and if you don’t, you never have to be afraid that I’ll end up resenting you for it.”
Denny’s throat closed up, and she had to work to get the words out. “That’s not what I’m afraid of.”
Eliza softly stroked her hair. “What is it then?”
“I’ll be…” Denny stopped herself. God, here she was, talking as if it was about to become a reality! “I would be in my sixties by the time the kid is out of high school.”
“Hmm, I guess then I’ll have to be the one to teach her or him soccer and baseball, while you do the less strenuous stuff.” A teasing grin lurked at the corners of Eliza’s mouth.
“You?” Denny poked her playfully. “I love you, but you’re awful at anything to do with balls.”
They stared at each other again, then burst out laughing.
“You’re right. I guess I’m more talented in other areas.” With a smoldering look, Eliza trailed her finger along the curve of Denny’s breast.
A tingle zipped down Denny’s body. She covered Eliza’s hand with her own, not wanting to get sidetracked.
Eliza sob
ered and flattened her fingers against Denny’s chest, directly over her hammering heart. “What’s going on in that beautiful, overthinking head of yours? Honestly, if you don’t want—”
“I do,” Denny said in a whisper that nearly got drowned out by the roaring sound in her ears. “I want to have a baby with you.” She wanted everything with Eliza—a home, a future, a family. “I’m just scared to let myself want it. What if something goes wrong?”
“Then we’ll deal with it together. You took a big chance on me—a supposedly straight woman—and I took a chance on you. Maybe it’s time we took a chance together.”
It sounded so right and so easy when Eliza said it like that. Maybe it wouldn’t always be easy, but deep down, she knew it would be right. She exhaled shakily. “Okay.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Now that Denny had let herself want it, she couldn’t rein in the broad smile spreading over her face.
Eliza let out a squeal that probably woke up half of her neighbors. Not that Denny cared. “We’re going to do this! We’re really going to move in together and have a baby and…oh my God!” She kissed Denny’s forehead, her cheeks, her mouth, then trailed her lips down her throat, across her breasts, and down the curve of her belly.
Denny’s breath caught. Her hips arched against Eliza. “Um, what are you doing?”
Eliza grinned at her from where her lips hovered against Denny’s lower belly. “Well, if you’re going to be the mom responsible for teaching soccer and baseball, we have to keep you fit.”
“And this is your idea of an appropriate fitness program?”
Eliza slid lower and kissed the sensitive skin at the bend of her leg. “Are you complaining?”
A moan escaped Denny. She spread her legs to encourage Eliza’s touch. “Nope,” she got out, already breathing faster. “Not at all.”
“Good.” Eliza nibbled on the inside of her thigh, making Denny writhe. “Hmm, maybe we should aim for triplets.”
Denny’s laughter turned into a throaty groan as she wound her fingers into Eliza’s hair and forgot about triplets, fitness programs, and everything but Eliza for the rest of the night.
