Kiernan smiled mistily, touching the striped horn with the tip of his finger. “‘There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.’”
“Hamlet. I will admit that particular quote has more meaning to me recently. Particularly since Christmas Eve.”
“I thought you were going to say since you met me.” Kiernan looked at him fondly.
“Abby turned up before you did, remember.”
“That’s right, she did.”
“She said something to me, in my dream. She said, ‘Life is a wonderful thing, but it can be shorter than you think. Don’t waste a second of it.’”
“Pretty smart for a six-year-old.”
“I certainly thought so.”
“And have you?”
Matt looked at him quizzically.
“Been wasting time?”
Matt nodded slowly, staring at the blanket covering Kiernan’s solid chest. “I think I have. “I think…when Brad was killed, I shut down. I’ve never believed there was anything after death. I don’t think I believed in anything anymore. Nothing made sense to me.”
Kiernan turned his hand and caught Matt’s. He linked their fingers.
“I kept everyone at a distance, thinking it would keep me from feeling anything. Because if I didn’t feel anything, then I couldn’t feel pain, either.” Matt lifted his head to find Kiernan watching him solemnly, large blue eyes steady. “But—I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“You don’t,” Kiernan said carefully.
Matt shook his head slowly. “No. I want to feel everything. The joy, the sorrow, all of it. Because it’s a gift, and I don’t want to waste a moment.” His heart began to pound. Now came the part that terrified him. “And, I want to feel all of it—with you. I’m…I know we haven’t known each other very long, and I know our acquaintance has been one round of weirdness after another—” Kiernan’s lips quirked, “—but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.” He spoke the last in a rush and held his breath.
Kiernan’s smile faded. Matt felt his heart sink as he studied him solemnly.
“Well, that’s a good thing,” Kiernan said finally. “Because I know I’m in love with you. I think I have been from the moment I found out you had Thin Mint ice cream in your freezer.”
Matt exhaled. “Christ, you scared me half to death.”
Kiernan grinned. “Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m not.”
Matt leaned his forehead against Kiernan’s cheek and laughed. “It’s never going to be dull with you, is it?”
“Nope. And you wouldn’t want it to be. Just think of it this way—I’ve got to be good for something besides sensational sex.”
Matt snorted. “Another T-shirt slogan if ever I heard it.”
Kiernan’s fingers slid to his nape and stroked the sensitive skin above his collar. “Maybe I’ll have one printed.”
Matt could hear the smile in his voice, and he closed his eyes tight, wonder flooding his chest. Thank you, Abby, he thought as he felt Kiernan’s fingers on his skin and the heat of the sun from the window on his back. Thank you. For everything.
It was New Year’s Day, and this year the thought of it didn’t make him ache. It actually caused a small bubble of excitement in his chest. Time for new beginnings. He squeezed Kiernan’s hand. Kiernan squeezed back, and within the solid pressure Matt found the promise that he could believe in something again.
* * * * *
About the Author
Diana Copland began writing in the seventh grade, when she shamelessly combined elements of Jane Eyre and Dark Shadows to produce an overwrought Gothic tale that earned her an A- in creative writing, thanks entirely to the generosity of her teacher. She wrote for pure enjoyment for the next three decades before discovering LiveJournal and a wonderful group of supportive writers, who after gifting her with a “Best New Author” award encouraged her to try her hand at original gay fiction. She currently has two novels in print, one a paranormal romance titled Beautiful Forever and the other a Christmas tale titled Grand Jeté, both of which spent several weeks on bestseller lists. She also wrote contributions for the anthologies Sindustry Volume One and A Brush of Wings.
Born and raised in Southern California, Diana moved to the Pacific Northwest after losing a beloved spouse to AIDS in 1995. She lives in eastern Washington near her two wonderful adult children and her surprisingly supportive parents.
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ISBN: 978-14268-9453-4
Copyright © 2012 by Diana Copland
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All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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