by Holly Jaymes
I’d long lusted after Pax. He’d been my friend for even longer. But at that moment, I felt like I’d fallen in love.
He took me up to Lily’s room, but I didn’t want to go.
“Lily won’t be here until tomorrow afternoon,” I said, hoping he’d invite me to his room.
“Are you afraid of the dark?” he teased, pushing a strand of my hair back behind my ear.
“What if I am?”
“Then you should come to my room. I’ll protect you.”
I knew this was a one-time thing. I sort of resented Lily for that, but at the same time, even if she was okay with it, I knew it wasn’t a forever type of situation. He lived in London and I lived in California. But I’d savor this night forever.
I woke the next morning, and for a moment thought it was a dream. The bed was empty, but I could smell his scent. I got up, found one of his t-shirts and headed out to find him.
“You’re fucking my best friend.” Lily’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
“It’s not like that, Lil.”
“Oh? My best friend is naked in your bed. What’s it like?”
I peeked around the corner.
“It was her birthday. We drank a lot. It was a mistake.”
It’s one thing to know when something isn’t for real, but to hear it spoken out loud. To hear him say our night together was a mistake, split my heart in two. I tiptoed back to Lily’s room, got my clothes and hopped into the shower. I dressed, did my hair and makeup, and packed my bag, certain Lily would end our friendship.
When I made it to the living area, Lily was standing by the large window, looking outside. Pax was nowhere to be seen.
She turned; her eyes narrowed. “Tell me you think last night was a mistake.” I swallowed. “It was just two horny drunk people and not my best friend and my brother.”
I closed my eyes, hating that I was going to deceive her and my own true self. “I hardly remember it. I guess I drank too much. Twenty-first birthday and all.”
She studied me like she was judging my truthfulness. “We won’t speak of it again.”
I nodded.
“Good. Let’s go shopping.”
Chapter 1: Facing the Past
Victoria
It really was a small world. How strange that my sister and my best friend would end up not only living in the same small resort town of Eden Lake, California, but also married to brothers? My sister Allie married Josh last year and they were now expecting their first child. My family was over the moon. So was I. Not just for Allie and Josh, but because it took pressure off me to find a man and get married. I was the oldest, so my mother had been nagging me about lagging behind Allie.
My best friend Lily was marrying Josh’s older brother, Wyatt. And in a surprise twist, they were expecting too. I teased her a little bit about an unplanned pregnancy. We used to roll our eyes at women who weren’t in control of their libidos enough to be responsible. Her defense was that Wyatt had thought he was infertile. Still…she did confess that the first time with him, she’d been out of her mind with desire.
“It really does happen,” she confessed.
Of course, I knew it did. I’d been out of my mind with desire once. Fortunately, he’d had the wherewithal to use protection. I’d learned later that I wasn’t a person who had made him lose his mind with desire. Nope. I was a mistake.
I shook that out of my head as I pulled up to Allie’s condo. I was going to spend a little time with her until I met up with Lily and went over final wedding plans. The rehearsal dinner was tonight and the wedding tomorrow. I’d been in Eden Lake off and on since Lily and Wyatt got engaged nearly two months ago, taking my job as maid of honor quite seriously. I’d gone home for Christmas, handled some business in my skincare company, and now I was heading back on New Year’s Eve eve.
I parked in the parking lot of Allie and Josh’s condo building. They were starting to talk about getting a home, which I felt they sort of regretted. The condo seemed to hold a special place for them. Maybe it was because of where they met. But with a child on the way, they’d need more room.
I knocked on the condo door.
She opened it with a bright smile. That was Allie. Bright. Sweet. Wholesome. Put together now that she had Josh. On the outside, I looked put together too. A huge social media following, a successful business. But often, on the inside, I felt like a fraud.
“Hey, big sis’.” Allie wrapped me in a hug, even though it had only been a couple of days since I’d last seen her.
“How are you and my niece or nephew?” I asked, giving her barely-showing belly a pat.
“Much better now that I can eat without puking.” I followed her in. “I got your favorite wine,” she said, motioning for me to sit in the living area. Normally, we liked to sit out on the balcony, but it was the middle of winter and it had snowed recently, so it was too cold and icy to be out there. It was always strange to leave the sixty-five- or seventy-degree Los Angeles and in two hours be freezing in Eden Lake.
“I don’t need wine. I can drink whatever you’re drinking.” I kicked off my flats and sat on the couch, curling my feet under me.
“You’re more forthcoming when you have a wine or two in you.” She poured me a glass.
“Forthcoming?” I arched a brow. “Is there something you think I need to spill?”
“Always.”
I took the wine. I would have supported her current pregnancy-related sobriety, but the truth was, I could use the mellowing that wine brought. Being a maid of honor was stressful, but the stress was about to pile on as Lily’s brother, Pax, was arriving tonight. I hadn’t seen him for six years. I hadn’t heard from him either. As wonderful as our night had been, the thing I always remembered most was his telling Lily how I’d been a mistake. How would I look him in the eyes? Even six years and a lot of growing up later?
Allie sat in a large, overstuffed chair with a glass of juice. “I don’t have to ask if everything is ready for tonight and tomorrow. I know you’re going to give Lily and Wyatt such a beautiful wedding.”
“I hope so. If everything goes right.”
Allie rolled her eyes. “I bet you called and confirmed everything with every vendor this morning, even though they have a wedding planner, and will do so again this afternoon.”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to stay on top of things.”
She sipped her juice, eyeing me over the rim. It was my clue that she was going to venture down the topic she knew would be hard for me.
“Are you ready to see Pax now that he’s a big rock star?”
I’d told Allie about the fiasco with Pax and Lily when I arrived home after my twenty-first birthday. She and I were different in most ways, and often didn’t understand each other, but we were close. When it came to issues of the heart, we’d always been able to talk.
Even so, I didn’t want what happened six years ago to have any impact today. “That was a long time ago.”
“Still. You haven’t seen or talked to him. Do you think you’ll tell him what an asshole he was?”
I laughed. “Maybe.” I supposed if I drank too much. “The truth is, he’s probably forgotten-”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Victoria. I bet he’s on his way here, worried that you’ll call him out. He’s probably feeling guilty for hurting you. I have no doubt he regrets losing you.”
I laughed. “Miss Fairy Tale.”
“Do you think if Lily handled it better, it would have been different for you and Pax?”
“We probably would have parted as friends, but it was never going to be a thing, so…where I am today is where I’d be regardless.” Except for the embarrassment of being a mistake, but I kept that to myself.
“I don’t get Lily,” Allie said, setting her empty glass on a Pine Rest Resort coaster on her coffee table. “Why did she get all bent out of shape about you and Pax?”
“He’s her brother.” I shrugged. I didn’t really know the problem except that i
t bothered her.
“She has some nerve. I mean, she’s my friend and is marrying my brother-in-law. That’s not much different. You don’t see me getting mad about it.”
“It’s a little different,” I said. “You and Lily were friendly, but not really friends. And Wyatt isn’t your brother.”
“Still, you’d think she’d want you and Pax to be happy.”
“I think she does, just not with each other.” I waved a hand. “It might be awkward for a moment when I first see him, but like I said, it was long ago. We’ve both matured.”
“Well, I might give him a piece of my mind. Hormones make me a bit crazed, you know.”
I laughed. “Tell me you have a sonogram so I can see my favorite niece or nephew.”
She grinned and hopped up from her chair, rushing from the room and then coming back with a dark film with lighter contrast.
“Oh dear,” I said, studying. “It’s an alien.”
“Yes, but a beautiful one.”
“It sure is.” I was glad to be moving on from the discussion of Pax, mostly because I wanted a minute of respite from worrying about it.
“Will you stay here in Eden Lake after the wedding?” Allie asked.
“I’m heading to Vegas the next day. Have you heard of Lisbeth Garner?”
Allie’s eyes narrowed. “American Adele-like singer?”
“Right. I’ve arranged for her to wear my skincare and cosmetics. She’s doing a show in Vegas and we’ll be doing a print shoot for ads.”
“That’s so great, Victoria. You know, I have to be honest, when you said you were going to make your own skincare and makeup, I wasn’t sure how that would go. But look at you. Number one all-natural line in the country.”
“Not quite, but I’m making my way up there.” It was another thing that had my mind turning to Pax. He’d been the one to suggest it initially. At the time, I’d brushed off the idea, but after his “mistake” comment along with some other things he’d said that gave me the impression that he thought I was riding on my family money and vanity, I decided to take control of my life.
I also kept up with social media. I acted the socialite part. Partly because it was expected, but also, Pax and Lily had taught me a lesson in London. It was better to be Instagram Victoria than the real me. No one got the real me. Lily got parts, but not all. Allie got more, but still, not all.
“Well, you know it sells out fast at my studio. Especially the mists.”
I smiled. Allie had been one of the first wholesale buyers of my products when they came out, selling them to her clients at her yoga studio. “Sometimes I wonder if maybe you’re the older sister, the way our lives have turned out.”
She frowned. “You say that like you’re putting yourself down.”
I shrugged. “You have always been the more mature one. You knew what you wanted and went after it. Now you have a successful business that includes a studio and wellness retreat with the king of online fitness. Plus, you’re married to a man who adores you and you’re having a baby.” I grinned so she didn’t think I was down on her success. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You were the one who was always herself, poking at Mom as a hobby.”
I laughed. “She is fun to poke.”
“You have millions of people who love you on social media.”
I nodded. I wouldn’t dismiss their admiration of me, but it wasn’t like what Allie had. She had a man she loved and who loved her, a townful of friends who thought the world of her, and even Lily. I felt a tinge of jealousy at that. I wondered if that was why she’d been adamant that I couldn’t be with Pax. That she’d be jealous of us. But if that were true, then I should have been angry that she was friends with my sister.
Oh well. It didn’t matter. I finished chatting with Allie and then headed out to the little mountain church where Lily and Wyatt were getting married. The ceremony was small, but because Pax was coming, he and Lily’s father, Sheriff Maddox, had deputies all over the place just in case it got out that Lily and Pax were related and paparazzi showed up. The world knew him as Pax Ryder, which was his first and middle name. But it wouldn’t take much digging for gossip mongers to find out his real name was Paxton Maddox, brother of Lily Maddox, son of former supermodel Madeline LaCoeur.
As it was, paparazzi would likely be around for Lily, who until recently had a successful modeling career that ended when she was involved in a scandal involving actor Trask Holloway. Nothing had happened, but the pictures were suggestive of an affair, which didn’t sit well with Trask’s even more famous actress wife Aria King. I’d never believed for a moment that Lily and Trask had an affair. But I was one of a small few. I still had some concerns that when it got out that she was pregnant, people would think it was Trask’s and that she married Wyatt to cover it up.
I parked in the parking lot and grabbed the substitute bouquet made from a paper plate and the ribbons from the bridal shower presents. I took a breath, pushing the real Victoria down and plastering on the public Victoria.
I breezed into the sanctuary of the church. “Say, who’s ready to get married?”
Lily rushed to me and gave me a hug. “I am. Oh my God, do you believe it? I’m getting married.”
“I do believe it. Wyatt adores you.” I gave him a wave where he stood with the minister.
“And I adore him. I’m not sure I’d be here without you.”
“Me? What did I do except give you perfect advice? Oh, I do believe I told him where to find you when you were getting ready to fly away from Eden Lake forever with your mom. I never heard…was that a good decision on my part or should I have kept that a secret?”
“You always know what’s best.”
“If that kid is a girl, you’ll name it Victoria, right?”
“And if it’s a boy, will it be Vic?”
I stilled at the deep, baritone voice walking up behind me.
“Pax!” Lily threw her arms around him. “I’m so glad you came.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” He hugged her. When he released her, he gave me one of his superficial rock star smiles. “Victoria.”
“Pax.” I was so sure I had it together to see him, but my insides were twisting. I was pissed at that because cripes, it had been six years. I really needed to get over all this. “Lily, I’m going to check in with Sasha,” I said, referring to her wedding planner. I didn’t wait for a response before I headed up the aisle to where Sasha had joined Wyatt and the minister, along with Josh.
I only had to get through tonight and tomorrow, I told myself. I was a strong, capable woman running a multimillion-dollar skincare company. I was too strong to let the embarrassment of being a mistake get to me.
Chapter 2: Going Home
Pax
I’d been to Southern California on tours, but I hadn’t been home to visit family since I was eighteen. My mother and sister sometimes came by my flat in London, but I hadn’t come home to see them. Even over the years, when Lily had told me I should come see Dad, I hadn’t been home. I had all sorts of excuses, but a large one was Victoria Sinclair. If Lily was in Southern California or even New York, chances were good that Victoria would be there, and after what happened on her twenty-first birthday, I hadn’t been able to face her. I was a fucking coward.
Of course, now my time had run out. Lily was getting married and Victoria was her maid of honor. I’d considered booking a tour for the New Year to have an excuse to miss the wedding, but while I was a jerk, I wasn’t that big of an asshole or I tried not to be. Chances were, Victoria thought I was the king of the assholes. She could be right.
I’d flown to Los Angeles two nights ago. I told my agent and the CEO of my record label, Dane Madsen, who was also a friend, that I was coming to Southern California for my sister’s wedding. I figured if there was any other business I needed to get done, that would be a good time to do it.
Dane and I went out for drinks last night and shot the breeze.
&n
bsp; “Will you be playing at your sister’s wedding?” he asked, sipping his usual gin and tonic.
“Yes. And I won’t be paying royalties.”
“Just make sure no one records it. There’s nothing like messing up family relations by having your record label sue someone for copyright violation.”
I snorted. “There’s more to life than money, you know.”
He rolled his eyes. “Says the guy who’s always had it and now can bathe in it.” He wasn’t wrong. “Listen, what are you doing on New Year’s Day?” he asked.
“I was thinking of flying home.” I finished my beer and waved to the bartender to give me another.
“Can you spare a couple of days in Vegas?”
Vegas was the last place I wanted to go. Ever. On stage, I could be gregarious and outgoing, but deep down, I was an introvert who’d rather stay home. While I lived in London, I tended to avoid crowds and bright lights. Vegas was all about crowds and lights and bells. I shivered just thinking about it.
“Before you say no,” Dane continued, probably knowing I was going to decline. “I’ve got an up-and-comer. Lisbeth Garner-”
I stopped mid-sip of the bottle of beer the bartender had just set before me. “No shit. Really? You signed her?”
Dane nodded. “Between you and her, I’m set for life. But she’s still raw and new, and I need someone to go with me to talk to her. She’s a little overwhelmed and I thought you could talk to her. You could help her navigate this fucked-up thing called celebrity.”
“I don’t know, Dane. What could I say?”
“She’s a fan of yours, Pax. You’d be helping me out. And since I helped you out when I picked you off the street when you were busking for chump change...”
I rolled my eyes. “I think I’ve repaid you in shit loads of album sales.”
“Still. It would mean a lot to me and to her. It’s just a day or so.”
I did owe him. He did find me. And while he liked to get as many benefits from my talent as he could, he’d also turned out to be a good friend.
