by Holly Jaymes
However, I kept all that to myself because we were friends. All my troubles started when I crossed the line beyond friendship, not once but twice. I was smart enough to learn my lesson. And yet, if she’d give me a sign, I was dumb enough to have her all over again. Thank goodness she was smart enough to avoid me.
It helped that Lily was away and I didn’t have to deal with her. As it turned out, my father was away too. I suspected he’d gone off with my mother which was always weird. I never understood how they could love each other but not make a marriage work, and yet whenever they saw each other, always ended up having a little fling. It was just weird.
Nearly a week into our accidental marriage, I was making lunch for both of us, watching her as she sat back in her chair and stretched.
“Down, boy,” I murmured to my dick that twitched as the sight of her long neck as she lifted her hair and twisted it up. “Ready for lunch?” I called to her.
She turned to me. “It’s lunchtime already?” She checked her watch. “Wow. Yes. Let me clean up.” She stood and headed down the hall to the bathroom.
I set our plates of grilled cheese and tomato soup, a perfect winter honeymoon retreat lunch, on the table. I’d found a box of mini-chocolates earlier, and I decided to leave her a little treat for later, on her desk. I was a doofus and a glutton for punishment, but she was doing me a favor so I wanted to do something nice. I put a couple of chocolates on a saucer with a scrap of paper saying, “All work and no play makes Victoria very rich.” It was a wonder I made money in music with dumbass words like that.
I set the plate on the desk, careful to avoid her paperwork. I noted some spreadsheets and took a glance, because apparently, I was also a snoop. I let out a small whistle when I saw her most recent numbers. Perhaps I was doing her a favor too. Her sales had skyrocketed since our marriage.
I headed back to the kitchen to get us some water to drink when Victoria joined me.
“All is well in Victoria’s kingdom?” I asked as I set a glass next to her plate.
“Queendom,” she said. She smiled, and like always, it made my heart stutter in my chest. “But yes, things are going well. I’ve got some new marketing concepts we’re working on that I’m excited about. And I’ve sent paperwork to Lisbeth and if she doesn’t sign it, I will strangle her.”
I laughed. “Get in line.”
We sat at the table to eat. The first few days we were together was the hardest because I kept putting my foot in my mouth around this marriage and inadvertently hurting Victoria. But over the last couple of days, we fell into our old friendship. I planned to keep it that way, despite what my dick wanted.
“How about you? How’s the music coming?”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m hoping when we’re done here I’ll have enough new stuff that I feel is worthy for an album.”
“Will you play some for me some time?”
I stopped mid-bite of my sandwich. “You can’t hear me in the other room?”
She shrugged. “A little. But not a whole song. Will you be doing one about accidental marriages?”
I laughed. “No. I don’t think so.” I took another bite of my sandwich.
We ate in silence for a minute, then I asked, “Do you have plans for this afternoon?”
“I was thinking of a walk. It’s supposed to snow again soon so I thought it would be nice to get out before that. How about you?”
“A walk would be nice. Can I come with you?”
She looked at me a little surprised but then gave me a friendly smile. “Sure.”
One of the housemate situations we’d set up was that whoever made the meal, the other person had to clean up. So while Victoria did the lunch dishes, I went to work on a song I’d started earlier that morning.
I finished figuring out the bridge of the song when she said, “That’s pretty.”
I looked up to see her leaning against the entryway to the TV room.
“Thanks. It’s coming along.”
“I was thinking of taking that walk. Do you still want to come?” she asked.
I didn’t normally like to stop in the middle of songwriting, but I nodded and set my guitar down. “Sure.”
Five minutes later, we were bundled in our coats and heading out the back-sliding door to the path along the lake. We walked in the direction away from the lodge to better ensure our privacy.
As we walked, Victoria tilted her head up, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. It was crazy how beguiling something like that was.
When she opened her eyes, she caught me looking at her. Her cheeks flushed. “It smells so good up here.”
I copied what she did, closing my eyes, looking up and inhaling. She was right. “It smells like nature.”
We started walking again, and Victoria said, “When Allie first moved here, I thought she was nuts. I admired her for beating her own drum, forging her own life with her yoga studio, but to my mind, she’d be so much more successful in Malibu or Beverly Hills or something.”
I nodded my understanding.
“But no, she wanted to come here and I think she was right. First of all, the Malibu and Beverly Hills crowd is often out here, but also, there’s something special out here.”
“You sound like you’d like to live here too,” I said.
“I don’t know. I worry it would start to feel too small. Or boring.”
“Are you bored?”
She stopped and looked out over the lake. “No. I never have been either.”
“So what’s keeping you away?” I asked, standing next to her.
“My business is in L.A.”
“Except you’re running it now from the honeymoon cabin,” I pointed out. “And we’re what, two hours or so from Los Angeles?”
She seemed to consider that. “I suppose I am, but I don’t know that I could work from home full-time.”
She turned up the path again. “What about you? You’ve lived in London for what? Ten years now?”
“Almost ten.”
“Have you ever thought of returning to the U.S.?” she asked.
I considered her question for a moment. “Not really. I’ve sometimes thought about going to other places, like Italy, but I’ve never really thought about moving back here.”
She didn’t say anything as we kept walking. We reached an area with rocks jutting out into the water. We tentatively walked out and sat on them. “I guess you have your whole life in London. Friends…girlfriends.”
I wondered if her question should be taken at face value or if she was fishing for information. “You know me, Victoria. I’m a homebody. An introvert. Yes, I have a life in London, but it’s a small one. My bandmates live all over the world and fly in when it’s time to record. I have an elderly neighbor lady who keeps tabs on me. And no, I don’t have girlfriends.”
She cocked her head and studied me. “I don’t believe you live a celibate life.”
I felt my cheeks heat and thought it was strange how she could make me blush. “No. But I’m not your typical musician either.”
She snorted. “Hence this marriage.”
“Right.”
“What about you? Surely you have men clamoring for you.” Shit. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know that.
“I date. Some. The last six months or so I haven’t much because of this new product launch coming up.”
I nodded, ridiculously pleased to hear it. “It’s been about that long for me too. Well, except for the other night with you.”
Her lips twitched upward. “Nothing like a dry spell to make you horny, eh?”
I laughed. “I think it was more than that.”
“Oh?” Her brows furrowed as she looked at me.
I shrugged, not wanting to give too much away. “Sure, a long spell can make things more intense, but I don’t feel like I’d have taken just anyone to my room.”
She leaned over, bumping her shoulder to mine. “Are you saying I’m special, Pax?”
I wanted to say yes. I
wanted to tell her that I’d never gotten her out of my system from six years ago. But we were in a precarious spot and every time we crossed the line, bad shit went down. So I tempered my response.
“I never got enough the first time.”
She turned her head to look out over the water and I couldn’t tell if that answer bothered her or not.
“Hey, Victoria.”
I turned to see a redheaded woman walking toward us with a hulk of a man.
“Emma. Tucker.” Victoria stood, so I rose with her.
The woman scanned me and bit her lip. “Wow. Pax Ryder. I saw you at the wedding but didn’t have a chance to say hello. I’m Emma McLean and this is-”
“Everyone knows Tucker McLean,” Victoria said.
I didn’t. Well not really. I knew he played football but living in England, I didn’t follow American football.
Still, I extended my hand. “Good to meet you both.”
“Love your music,” Tucker said.
“He prefers all that classic American rock you play, but I like that slower stuff,” Emma said. “It’s so…sensual.”
“I like the slow stuff too,” Tucker said defensively. “Especially when it puts you in the mood.”
Emma blushed.
Victoria snorted. “I wonder how many children you’re responsible for conceiving with your music,” she said to me.
Again, I felt the heat of embarrassment. “I couldn’t tell you.”
“So, married life treating you well?” Tucker asked.
I glanced at Victoria, who then said, “I told Emma about our predicament.”
That didn’t seem wise.
“I know a thing or two about keeping an image,” Tucker said with a grin.
Emma laughed. “Yeah, except you were supposed to stay away from women and not ruin your image.” Emma nodded toward me. “He’s supposed to stay married to protect his good image.”
I glared at Victoria, wondering why she told them all this. Gossip could be like wildfire in a small town. We didn’t need our ploy to get out into common knowledge.
“Hey, how about hot chocolate with a little Irish cream?” Emma suggested. “Come up to the house and visit for a bit.”
“We’d love it,” Victoria replied as she started walking toward a building, just beyond where we were standing. “I thought you’d be in Buffalo or Green Bay or something.”
“I fly out to Detroit tomorrow,” Tucker said.
As we walked up the path, I leaned over. “Why did you tell them so much?”
“Because I trust them. They had to keep secrets and deal with news gossip too,” she said.
Even so. I didn’t know these people and I couldn’t afford to do all this and have it ruined by loose lips.
The house was quaint and cozy, not at all what I’d expect a famous football player to have. But I’d known enough about the place to know that Tucker was from here and so, perhaps he preferred the smaller life of the country town, similar to how Victoria seemed to enjoy it here.
“Have you heard from Lily?” Emma asked as we sat in her living room and Tucker was off making our drinks.
“No,” Victoria said, glancing at me.
Emma’s gaze moved from Victoria to me and back. “Is there something up?”
Victoria shrugged. “We’re just not sure how she’ll take this news.”
That was a lie. We knew exactly how she'd take it.
“Except this is all for show, so why would she take it badly?” Emma asked.
“No reason,” I said, not wanting to delve into our situation.
Tucker returned. “Have you tried out the new hot tub we put in?”
“Hot tub?” Victoria asked.
Tucker handed us our drinks and then sat with his wife. “Yeah. Mason and I had it put in as a final touch on that cabin. It’s on the side of the house, but still with a great view of the lake. You didn’t notice?”
Victoria shook her head. “I didn’t. I’ve been walking a lot, but didn’t see it.”
“It’s on the south side of the house. Lodge side,” Tucker said. “Mason checked it the other day when we were told you were coming and it’s ready to go.”
Victoria let out a sigh that had my insides heating. “Oh, God, that sounds lovely.”
“Do you work out, Pax?” Tucker asked.
“A little.”
“We’ve put in a mini-gym of sorts.”
“Hot tubs and gyms.” Emma shook her head. “The McLean boys don’t think a home is a home without both.”
“A gym ensures you look good in the hot tub, babe. I’ve seen how you look at me. I know it’s true.” He winked at her.
There was something really nice about this couple. Here was Tucker, the size of a Mack truck, flirting with his wife in front of us. He wasn’t afraid to show his affection for her in front of a stranger. Even more telling was how genuine and authentic his affection was. The man was deeply in love with his wife. And she clearly loved him too.
I saw something similar between Lily and Wyatt, but their love was new. Not that I didn’t think it was real, but I’d wondered how long that sort of blissfulness of love lasted. For my parents, it ended not long after Lily and I were born. In the music world, I saw very few marriages that had this level of connection. Oh sure, many were still married, but the authentic affection was gone, mostly because of absences from touring and infidelity, often on both their parts during an absence.
“Have you been able to work on your music?” Emma asked me.
“Yes. I’m hoping to start recording when… Well…soon.” Dane had said he was going to send out some equipment for me to record some demos for him.
“How long do you think you’ll be here?” Tucker asked.
“I don’t know. We’re still trying to work that out.” The truth was, so far, Dane and I hadn’t been able to figure out a good way to exit this marriage any time soon in a way that didn’t look like I’d made a mistake. We were leaning toward Victoria and I staying married, but going off to live our lives as before.
“You can say your separate lives due to your work has made you drift apart,” Dane had suggested. I didn’t like the idea of drawing out this marriage, but I suspected he was right.
“Well I feel for you both,” Tucker said. “It’s no easy feat to have to hide something or live in a way that feels like a lie.”
Emma smiled sweetly at him. “It turned out okay for us.” She looked at me and Victoria. “I hope it will turn out okay for you too.”
Chapter 13: Risking It All
Victoria
The minute we got back to our cabin after our walk and boozed-up hot chocolate with Emma and Tucker, I walked to the other side of the house to find the hot tub.
“Jeez, it’s right outside the TV room. How did I not notice it?” It sat on a small deck with a glass roof above it.
Pax checked the controls. “Looks like it’s ready to fire up if you want to get in.”
I made a face. “I didn’t bring my suit. Dammit. I wonder if Allie has one that I can borrow.” I shook my head. “I’ll just go in my bra or something.”
Pax swallowed. “That’ll work, I guess.”
I arched a brow. “Do you have another suggestion?”
“Nope. Not a one.”
The way he said it made me wonder if he was thinking I didn’t need a suit at all.
“You into skinny dipping, Pax?”
“Can I plead the fifth?”
I laughed and headed into the cabin. It was getting cold and I still had some work to do.
I called my marketing director, Galen Dunne to see how our campaign for the new Radiance line was coming. Galen was a big social influencer in beauty and fashion like me, and we’d become good friends over the years. When I started my business, it was a no-brainer to bring him on with me as a marketing director. On occasion, he was my plus one to events, even though his tastes were for the opposite gender to me. I loved him like a brother, and truly felt like he was a
substantial part of my success.
“We’ve got it all plotted, but are waiting on the deal with Lisbeth. Is that nearly done?” he asked.
“Nearly.”
He made a fffttt sound. “I thought it was a done deal?”
“She said it is.”
“Does she know that you can skyrocket her exposure to the stratosphere?”
I laughed. “I may have mentioned my millions of followers.” Those followers were probably wondering why I wasn’t posting pictures of me and Pax in wedded bliss. We’d discussed it, and both decided that was too much of a lie. If asked, we’d say we were too lost in wedded bliss to post on social media. A lie too, of course, but in a real marriage, I wasn’t sure I’d be posting honeymoon pics then either.
“Can you send me the campaign?” I asked him. “I’d like to see what brilliance you’ve created for Radiance.”
“It is brilliant, but I’d like to go over it with you,” he said.
I could hear confusion in his voice about my situation. Like the rest of the world, except for Emma and Tucker, I was lying to him too. When he discovered the truth, he’d be pissed. But for now, I needed to keep up the image of Pax and I having a real marriage. But I was sure he and the rest of my staff wondered why I was working while on my honeymoon.
“Can you come out to Eden Lake and meet me? Maybe next week? We can go over things then.”
“Ah…yeah, sure.”
“I know this is a change, Galen, but we need to go with it for how. I should have the paperwork for Lisbeth by the time we meet.”
“Sounds good, boss.”
I finished up my work and then decided I wanted wine and a soak in the hot tub. Pax wasn’t in the TV room or the living area. I figured he was in his room, perhaps resting. He had to be bored, but then again, he was more of a homebody, so maybe he was enjoying the peace and quiet.
