by Holly Jaymes
“I used to ski a lot. I haven’t much in the last few years. I’d teach you but it might ruin your image.” Immediately, I regretted using those words.
Fortunately, he didn’t seem to notice. “Why?”
“Well, because you’d probably be recognized at the ski resorts and then you’d be embarrassed as you fell and rolled down the hill.”
He gave me a look. “I’m very talented with my body.”
My girly parts tingled in agreement. “That is true.”
We started driving back to Pine Rest.
“I want hot chocolate,” he stated.
I laughed. “What are you, seven?”
“That’s what your sister said. She said tubing brought out the seven-year-old in you.”
“It brings out the seven-year-old in everyone.” We had the makings for hot chocolate at the cabin, but I wondered if he meant he wanted to go out. Celebrity sightings in Eden Lake weren’t so odd that it led to problems. Granted, most of the celebrities stayed at the big resorts, but they often came to town or went on the lake, so it wasn’t as big of a deal to them to see someone like Pax. “There is a coffee place in town that has good hot drinks, if you’re wanting to go out. The locals might gawk but I think they’d leave you alone.” I remembered the picture that was taken yesterday and rethought the idea. “On the other hand, that’s where I met Galen.”
Pax was quiet for a moment. Then he said, “Fuck it, let’s go.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m tired of being cooped up and it’s something a honeymoon couple would do, right?”
Back to project maintain-image, I thought. “Right. You might let your dad know in case he wants his deputies aware that paparazzi might show up here.”
He frowned. “Really?”
“He did it for Lily. He even gave her a guard. Wyatt.”
“We don’t need that. Do we? The last thing I want is some cop sniffing around you.”
I looked out my window as I smiled. I really liked it when his jealousy came out. “We can post the selfie and then say we’re on our way somewhere else. L.A. maybe. See if we can’t keep them off the track.”
“Good idea,” he agreed.
We drove into town and parked near Paradise Java. Pax held my hand as we walked to the café, but I tried not to read anything into it. He was thinking of his image now. He opened the door and let me in first. We both scanned the place, but it was empty.
“Welcome to Paradise Java,” the young woman behind the counter said. As we stepped up, Pax took off his glasses and hat. The woman’s eyes widened and she smiled, although she appeared to be holding back her excitement. “What can I get you, Mr. and Mrs. Ryder?”
We both flinched at that. My first thought was that I was Mrs. Maddox, but then I quickly pushed that away. Legally I was his wife, but in reality, I was his friend. With benefits.
“Two hot chocolates,” I said. “Large.”
“With whipped cream?” she asked.
“Yes. Thank you.”
Pax pulled out his wallet to pay.
“Would you mind if I asked for your autograph, Mr. Ryder?”
“Not at all,” he said with a smile. It wasn’t the smile I’d seen on the hill. Or the one he sometimes shared with me. It felt more like his out-in-public smile.
The woman handed him a pen and tore a piece of paper from the receipt roll on the register. “Make it to Janell.”
Pax signed the paper.
“When I go back to school, my girlfriends are going to die. I mean, I’ve run into a lot of celebs here, but never someone as big as you.”
He smiled again as he pushed the pen and paper back to her. “Thank you.”
“I’ll get your hot chocolates.”
A few minutes later, she gave us our drinks. “Will you be here for Winterfest?”
“What’s that?” Pax asked.
“It’s a winter festival of sorts. There are exhibitions, craft vendors, and music. Oh my God, if you played here.”
I rolled my eyes. Pax Ryder sold out stadiums. There was no way he could play here as the town wouldn’t be able to accommodate him. His father would likely stroke out at having to manage the traffic, the people, everything.
“Pax has to return to England soon,” I said, giving him an out.
“Oh right. I forgot you don’t live here. I guess you’ll be moving there too then, Victoria. Allie will miss you, I bet.” I hadn’t realized how well Janell knew my business. But I supposed that was how it was in a small town.
“Yes.” I took Pax’s arm and led him to a table in the corner.
He looked around as we sat. “This is where you had your meeting.”
I nodded. “Galen is doing the Radiance launch. He’s on my ass about Lisbeth. I thought she was more put together, but now I’m thinking she’s flighty.”
He smirked at me over the rim of his hot chocolate. “Perhaps she’s lost in a haze of love.”
I gave him a face, not appreciating his tossing my words about her back at me. “You know, she’s going to have a picture of you up on Instagram shortly if she hasn’t already.”
“Lisbeth?”
“No. The woman who served us.”
He glanced over his shoulder. Janell quickly turned away to avoid the appearance that she was watching him.
“Maybe I should post the tubing picture. We can take one in here too and then put a comment like, ‘Last hot chocolate before heading home’ or something,” I suggested.
He moved next to me, holding his cup up. I held mine too.
“Kiss me, Victoria.”
I turned my head to him, and he pressed his lips to mine. I poked the button, not sure if I got the shot. We looked at it together.
“We make a cute couple,” I said, and then inside winced, worried he’d think I wanted more than this moment.
“You’re cute,” he said. “I’m a fucking rock star.”
I laughed. “Oh yeah. I forgot.”
He watched beside me as I posted the photo on Instagram.
“You’ve got a shitload of followers. Way more than me,” he said.
“Many of these followers are yours.”
“Oh?”
“They’re curious about the woman you married. Of course, if you posted to your Instagram more, you’d probably have more followers than me.”
He shrugged. “I don’t like living in a fishbowl.”
“Lucky you have me to help with that.” I pressed the post button on Instagram.
“I am lucky. You have your own life and business. And you’ve put it on hold to help me out. I appreciate it, Victoria.”
“Hanging with you is hardly a hardship, Pax. And my business isn’t really on hold. In fact, being married to you has given it a boost. Now, if Lisbeth would get her butt in gear and partner with us, all would be perfect.” I looked at him. “Do you think Dane is interfering? Telling her not to sign with me?”
Pax shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s possible, but I haven’t talked to him about her.” He sipped his hot chocolate. “I can ask if you like.”
I shrugged. “I just want to know if she’s yanking my chain or if Dane is interfering so I can plan accordingly.”
“Next time I talk to him, I’ll ask.”
It felt a little off to ask for Pax’s help with the Lisbeth issue. It didn’t seem right to mix my business in his. But he offered, and I really was counting on her. It was sweet of him to help.
The bell over the door rang, and a couple walked in.
“Oh hey, Victoria,” the woman waved.
“Willa, how are you?”
Willa’s gaze moved from me to Pax and she whispered to her husband, Mason. He looked over as us and the two came to our table.
Pax stiffened slightly.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. When they reached us, I did the introductions. “Pax, this is Willa and Mason McLean. Mason is Tucker’s brother. He helped arrange for that hot tub we’ve been enjoying.”
/>
Pax smiled and extended his hand. “It’s a great tub.”
Mason shook his hand. “Glad it’s getting some use.” He put his arm around Willa.
“How long are you here for?” Willa asked.
“Not much longer,” Pax answered.
My heart stalled in my chest. I’d said something similar to Janell, but I was just saying that to get him out of attending the winter festival. His saying it was a reminder that this time we were having together was fleeting and nearing its end.
“Have you heard from Lily? She and Wyatt should be home soon, right?” Willa asked.
Again, my heart did a stutter beat. “Soon.”
I remembered Willa and Mason’s history; two people from feuding families who were now happily together. I wondered how they got past their family’s attitudes so they could be together. Was it something we could do to help Lily come around to accepting us? Assuming Pax was interested in an us.
“How are your families?” I asked. Then I leaned to Pax. “This is the McLean-Haynesville couple that ended the century-old feud.”
Pax looked at them, intrigued. “A real-life Romeo and Juliet. But with a better outcome.”
Willa and Mason laughed.
“Yes. Our families are good. My folks are still in Sedona,” Willa said. “It’s hard for them to come here.”
“Because of Mason?” I asked, thinking maybe they’d just told the families to butt out.
“Nah, they pretty much accept him now. But they’ve lost their standing in town. It’s silly, but it is what it is. Mason’s parents are in Mexico, living as ex-pats.”
“They love it. Especially this time of year when it’s cold,” Mason finished. “We’re talking about taking a trip to visit them soon.”
Willa grinned up at him like they shared a secret. “We’ll see them while we’re there, but we’re having our own little trip. We have a new project we’re working on.”
Pax looked perplexed, but I understood. They were getting ready to start a family.
“I hope it all goes well. I love how your families support you,” I said.
Pax glanced at me and he probably knew I was thinking of Lily.
“We didn’t give them a choice, did we?” Willa looked up at Mason.
“No. It took a bit to get to that place. It’s not easy being forced to choose. Well, it was for me.” He smiled lovingly at Willa. “But my family wasn’t as against us as Willa’s was.”
“In the end, I made them choose. Me and Mason or not me at all,” Willa said firmly.
I wondered if Pax and I could do that. Lily was my good friend, and I didn’t want to lose her, but I resented her for putting me in a position of having to choose between her and Pax. But what if she had to choose between accepting us or losing us?
“Well, we’re here to pick up some coffee and muffins for the fire department,” Willa said.
We said our goodbyes and they went to get their food.
Pax finished his hot chocolate, but I still had half a cup.
“Is it the air that makes these men so big?” Pax asked as he watched Mason at the counter.
I laughed. “Mason was a SEAL. Tucker is his brother. I’m sure it’s genetic.” I leaned over and bumped his shoulder. “You’re big too, you know.”
He grinned at me. “You think so?”
I waggled my brows. “I know so.” He studied me for a moment and then leaned over to kiss me. It didn’t feel like it was for show. Like he was doing it to continue the charade of our happy marriage.
That evening as we arrived back at the cabin, I had to accept the fact that I wasn’t just in lust with Pax. I didn’t just care for him. I was hopelessly, head over heels in love with him. I also knew that when it was over, it was going to hurt much more than it had six years ago.
Chapter 20: The Possibility of Paradise
Pax
Today was one of the best days of my life. I started the day indulging in Victoria’s luscious body. I had a screaming great time tubing. Going out with her for hot chocolate felt like a real date. We were in this marriage by accident and having to prolong it for my image, but sometimes what was between us felt real. The fact that I’d been so jealous when I saw that photo of her with her marketing guy proved I was more emotionally invested in this relationship than I’d realized. She’d been deeply hurt by my reaction, which could suggest she was emotionally involved too. I knew she cared about me. I knew we were good friends, but did she feel more? Or was this just friends with benefits?
At the coffee joint, talking to Mason and Willa had me thinking about how they’d overcome their families’ objections to be together. In our case, the only issue was Lily. My father didn’t seem bothered by my being with Victoria. Victoria’s sister didn’t seem bothered by me. I couldn’t imagine why her parents would be. My mother and her mother were long-time friends.
The problem was, I didn’t fully understand Lily’s objection. Did she think it was creepy? Was she jealous? Did she think I wasn’t good enough for Victoria? Maybe she was worried what would happen if it didn’t work out between us.
As much as I wanted to appease my sister, I resented her interference. I’d spent the last six years trying to forget Victoria, but the minute I saw her again at the wedding, I knew she was as deeply ingrained in me as she had been back then. Today, even more so. The truth was, I was pretty sure I was in love with her. I wondered how she’d feel if I told her that? Did she feel the same?
Victoria had told the woman at the café that I’d be going back to England soon. I felt like she was saying that to get me out of having to say no to the Winterfest event, but she wasn’t wrong. As much as I was enjoying being with Victoria in Eden Lake, soon I’d need to return home. She and I needed to part and go on with our lives.
Or did we? Surely there was a way to make this work. The problem wasn’t just Lily. It was also the fact that we lived a world apart. Would she move to England if I asked her? Was I willing to return to the States? Did she or I have to give up parts of our lives to be together and were we willing to do that?
I remembered my father saying how much he and my mother loved each other, but they loved their careers more. In many ways, Lily and Wyatt were like my parents; the model and the lawman. But it seemed like they’d make it work. Then again, Lily wasn’t modeling anymore. She was starting a business and wouldn’t need to travel. She’d found a life here in this little mountain town.
All this was running through my brain as I sat in the hot tub waiting for Victoria to take care of some business. She interrupted my thoughts when she appeared with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“You look lonely out here,” she said, putting the wine and glasses on the ledge as she shucked off her robe, revealing her naked body. Her nipples puckered at the cold and my mouth watered to suck them. Instead, I poured the wine.
“Thanks for keeping me company,” I said, handing her a glass once she’d joined me in the tub.
She held up the glass. “Cheers.”
I reached over and clinked my glass with hers. “Cheers.”
She sipped and then sighed. “It was a lovely day.”
I nodded, lost in the beauty of her. Her hair was scooped up on her head with a few tendrils loose around her face. Her blue eyes shone with happiness. Her smile was lovely. Her creamy shoulders were damp from the steam and water. I wanted to run my lips over them.
“You looked lost in thought when I got out here. Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Everything is great.” I wanted to tell her all that was swelling in my heart, but I couldn’t seem to form the words. Or more accurately, I couldn’t conjure the courage. “How are things at work?”
She sighed. “Good. Really good, actually. You’re my good luck charm, Pax.”
I smiled. “Happy to help. It’s the least I can do, considering all you’re doing for me.”
“I’m happy to do it.” She looked down into her wine. “I’ve enjoyed spending time with y
ou again.”
“Me too.”
She looked up, her smile was sweet yet vulnerable. “Really?”
“Yes, really. You don’t think I’ve been enjoying my time with you?”
“It’s not that,” she said, shifting like she was uncomfortable. “I just… Well, your life is on hold. More than mine is. You’re probably eager to get back home.”
My gut clenched and I sipped my wine to hide my reaction to leaving her.
She sucked in a breath like she was shoring up her courage. “I know you and Dane have this all-planned marriage thing worked out. We’ll go back to our lives and like so many celebrity marriages, we’ll drift apart.”
I swallowed hard as I nodded.
She looked at me, biting her lip. Then she looked down. “Is there a hurry for that?”
My heart stuttered in my chest. Was she asking me to stay longer? “We both have commitments.”
“Yes, right. Of course.”
“I don’t want to inconvenience you more than I have.”
She shook her head. “I’m not inconvenienced. If anything, it’s been the opposite. But I know you have a tour coming up in a few months and…a life in England.”
I watched her. The words to ask her to come with me hung on my lips, but couldn’t come out. Instead I put my wine aside and moved across the hot tub.
“Let’s make the best of the time we have.”
She smiled but there was a sadness to it. “Yes.” She looped her hands around my neck and kissed me. There were no words then. Just soft caresses. Lovely passionate kisses. Our bodies coming together in perfect harmony.
Later that night, I lay in bed with her sleeping tucked beside me. It felt like fucking perfection, and I was pissed that I wouldn’t be able to keep this or keep her.
I replayed our conversation and I wondered if she was trying to tell me she cared for me too. She didn’t ask me to stay. She didn’t tell me she loved me. But she’d definitely revealed more than I had. The question was, was I reading it right? Did I take a chance that she was feeling what I was feeling? Did I risk my heart and stand up to Lily?
The next day, I woke early and let Victoria sleep. I left her a note that I was taking a walk. It seemed amazing that I could still need to think about everything after I’d spent all night trying to sort out my feelings and my courage. I knew what I wanted, but I wasn’t sure how to get it.
