“Are you hungry? I think you should eat something.”
I still had my hand over my face but I nodded. I knew that that is what he wanted to hear. I certainly didn't want him to get mad at me.
“I'll reheat some stuff from yesterday. Is that okay with you?”
I nodded again.
He jumped out of bed and walked into the kitchen. I slowly and painfully got up. I was glad that he wasn't here watching me. I was in so much pain. I cried and shook as I washed up in the bathroom again. When I was finished I went out to him. He was working in the kitchen. I stood in the door with my head hung.
He stepped forward to me and took me by my hand and led me to my spot. He had already upholstered it with a couple of pillows. Tears ran down my face as I looked at the chair. I had looked at my backside in the mirror in the bathroom. It was an angry red color with lines all over it. It looked hideous and felt worse than it looked.
“It's part of the punishment. A reminder every time you have to sit down.” He guided me to my spot.
I wanted to jump up the second my bottom hit but he had a hand on my shoulder. I was still shaking and sobbing.
“I hope you learned your lesson so I never have to do that again.” He had been talking to himself but I nodded anyway.
He set my plate in front of me. It was filled with the foods I had liked yesterday. He was very considerate about things like that.
He joined me and we ate in silence for a while. I took little tiny bites and kept my head down.
“When do you have to go back to the hospital?” he asked.
“On December 4th.” My voice came out very soft and quiet. I sounded, somehow, more feminine than I usually do.
He sat back and nodded to himself.
“Did you take off of work to take care of me?”
“I'm in between jobs at the moment, you can say. I help at a restaurant if they're short handed, but at the moment I too am concentrating on a project. You can work for a couple of hours after we have eaten but I want you in bed early this evening. Can I count on you not to give me any grief about that?”
I hung my head and nodded again. “I could go home. Then you would have me completely out of your hair,” I suggested.
“No, that's not what I meant. I want you to stay with me. I just want you to get a sleeping rhythm going, a healthy one. I figured you would stay with me until the doctor gives you the okay to drive again.”
“But I have to water my plants.”
His eyebrow raised like I was playing a game with him.
“Do you think I could use your phone again, so I could call my neighbor and ask if she could do it.”
“Of course.” He went and got the phone right away.
Was I free to leave or not? He was scaring me beyond words. I was working myself into a state. “I don't know her number by heart. Do you have a telephone book?”
He was back in a flash. I paged through it until I found her. I dialed and waited. She wasn't home. I shrugged my shoulders at him. He looked so unsure.
“Perhaps you could take me home and I could water them?”
“Katherine, do you think I am keeping you here against your will?” The corners of his mouth curled up on the sides.
“I'm not sure. All I know is that my hand is feeling a lot better and the holiday is over. This is the time guests usually go home.”
He laughed. “So what do you want to do. Isn't today the biggest shopping day of the year. We could go to the mall and buy stuff. Lots of witnesses. Probably lots of security guys. You could tell them that I keep you locked up here. No wait, the problems is the doors aren't locked. Just at night, but that is to keep the bad guys out, and not you in.”
I rolled my eyes. He was having too much fun with this.
The phone rang and I jumped. That had him smiling all the more. He answered it and smiled. “Yes, my friend just called you, she is right here, one moment please.” He held the phone out to me.
“Hello?”
It was Heather my neighbor. She was a nice person with lots of energy. She had two children from two different men and she was still looking for Mr. Right as she put it. I explained my problem to her and she agreed to look at my mail as well as the plants. She had already started worrying about me because my mail had been piling up. She wished me luck with the guy.
I handed him the phone back.
“I think you need a safety net.” He was calling someone. “Heather, this is Ryan again. Sorry to bother you again but we thought it best if you have my address just in case. Do you have a pen nearby?” He gave her his real address and thanked her. She was probably thinking, that if I didn't want him, that she would take him. That's just how Heather was. A heart of gold but her will just wasn't iron when it came to men.
It was my turn to smirk now. Okay, so I wasn't kidnapped. My agent would have probably paid a lot to get me back. Nice to know someone cared, I mused.
After he cleared off the table he brought me my laptop. He plugged in the power cord and I went to work. Every time he got too close I closed my laptop and looked to see what he wanted. He asked a couple of questions about my work, he was still afraid it wasn't legal. He looked tore between checking and respecting my rights.
“Are you online talking to someone?” He was sitting across from me drinking coffee. I missed the smell more than the taste. It had been fairly easy to give it up but I didn't want him to know that.
“No.”
“Writing contracts or something?”
“No.”
“Translating something?”
I stopped typing and look up at him. “You got that idea from the book you're reading.” I smiled at him. The truth was my laptop was filled with translations.
“Just curious.” He shrugged his shoulders.
This was why I preferred and did my best work at night. No one was bugging me. The phone never rang and the world was so silent, that I could just be in the pretend world that I was writing about. I didn't lose my train of thought that way. I was in the moment.
Otherwise, I had to reread what I had written to remember what the people were doing, like standing and sitting, where their hands were, time of day and things like that. “I'm sorry but I need silence to work. That's why I liked to work at night. Guaranteed no interruptions.” Was I crazy why had I said that aloud? He looked mad. I felt a tear roll down my face. “Are you going to spank me again?”
“No, of course not. It was my idea that you work now. I’ll see to it that you get the peace and quiet you need.” He shoved his chair back with his feet and was about to get up when I stopped him.
“If you want to talk, I can take a break. That's not a problem.” I closed my laptop and moved it a little to the side.
“There is actually something I wanted to discuss with you.” He looked so unsure of himself. He rarely did. I could see him going through different phrases in his head trying to figure out which one was best.
“I get it. You don't have to say it aloud. I can be ready to leave in five minutes. I'll reimburse you for the costs of my new clothes, the food I ate, water, electricity and the phone costs.” I was nodding as I listed off the costs that he had had because of me. I felt a little red in the face. I wondered if he could see that.
“Didn't we just talk about that two hours ago? Katherine, I don't want you to leave ever. I want you to stay with me.” He had been looking at the table as he talked but then he looked deep in my eyes.
“I don't understand. You want me to stay with you but you don't want to be seen in public with me?”
“Stop.” His hand came up as he spoke. “We have been seen in public before, and I even offered to take you shopping today. How could you make that assumption?” He sounded so strict that I was scared of him again.
“You didn't want to go to the movie with me.” I sounded meek, tiny, and truth be told, hurt.
“Oh, I didn't mean it that way. I will just probably be gone then if my project works out well for
me. I wouldn't be home then. It had nothing to do with you.” His blue eyes told me that he was telling the truth but still the seed of doubt had been planted.
He was really good looking, a one of a kind. People were always mistaking me for someone else they knew. I heard 'you look just like so and so' my entire life. Which pretty much translated to the fact that I was interchangeable and nothing special. I nodded at him pretending that I understood.
“What I want to talk to you about now is something different from what we normally talk about. I want to talk about us.”
I was confused, all we ever talked about was us, well mostly me.
He sighed very heavily. This was hard for him to say. “I want us to be – a real couple.” His eyes flashed at mine for a second and then turned away again. He had never had problems looking me in the eye before. “I feel so strongly about you.”
I sat in silence, shocked. I slowly found my tongue. “But you said we couldn't have that kind of relationship?”
“I lied. I wanted you as my girlfriend from the second I opened the door and saw you standing there. I just said that so I wouldn't scare you away.”
“But the others?”
“I already told you, there are no others.”
“I don't understand,” I admitted.
“It was like this. Back in college I had a girlfriend. She wouldn't sleep with me unless I spanked her first. Being a young college kid I was prepared to do a lot to sleep with a girl. She had been rude and impossible to me a couple of times and I spanked her in a less than playful way.
“She was sorry about what she had done and she even thanked me for taking the time and for caring enough to spank her. After I transferred to a different school our relationship slowly ended. I found a new girlfriend. With time she got sassy and mean. I took her over my knee with the same results. She was a perfect angel after being spanked. The other guys thought I was so lucky having a beautiful and nice girlfriend. We found work in two different states. The relationship ended.
“After that I found that all the girls I dated benefited from being taken in hand. When it was over we parted ways as friends. I haven't had a girlfriend for about a year now. I was fooling around on the net and I saw your add and you lived right here. I thought I would just send you a quick e-mail. I wasn't even sure that you were a woman. I started worrying about you then already. I could see the types that would respond to your add. I figured you would get hurt.
“When you responded I was a little scared. You wanted a professional. I studied up and waited for you to show up. I don't think I have ever been so nervous in all my life as when I waited for you to ring the bell. I had a feeling about you from the beginning. I want to be part of your whole life. Not just the bits and pieces that you let me see. I don't want to hear about ink in your bed as you tell your mother about it. I want to know when you have pressure from work. I want to take care of you. I want you to go to your apartment and get all of your plants and bring them here. I want us to live together. The thought of you leaving on the 4th is killing me. Please, say that you will stay.”
Okay, I was tired, my behind was shining redder than Rudolph's nose, and he was asking me to be his girlfriend. Something was definitely wrong here. He was waiting and I just couldn't wrap my head around this. “What – what would that mean?”
He was disappointed, I could tell. Was he going to hit me again?
“It would mean that we would be together all the time. It would mean that I wouldn't have to pretend that it's okay when you leave or when I don't hear anything from you for a couple of days. It would also mean that I could do more than just lay my arm around you and hold your hand.”
“I see.” I had figured something like that from the get go. “Um, I need to go home now. I'll just call a taxi. I need some papers or I can't continue. I'm sorry but I really have to go now.”
I picked up my laptop and got my things together. I could tell that he was hurt but the idea of him being my boyfriend was just too – odd. I was so scared of him sometimes. Now that I knew where the phone book was I could call a taxi, and I did.
“Katherine, please don't go. Just stay. No pressure. I'll be whatever you need me to be just don't go.”
“Work. Deadline. So much to do.” I couldn't meet his eye. I went to the door to wait for the taxi. “Goodbye,” I said over my shoulder, as I slipped out the door.
Chapter 9 It's A Man's Job to Pleasure His Wife
It felt so good to be home again. I felt like an adult again. I wasn't afraid that I would say or do anything wrong. This felt better, more right.
My neighbor had been watering my plants when I had come in yesterday. We talked for bit. She was great but she couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay and sleep with him. I admitted that he would just be using me for sex. There was no love there.
She had answered back 'So use him for sex too'.
I just couldn't be like that or think like that. I was way too prude. Of course, he would think that I was like that. Ryan had even told me that his first girlfriend had insisted on spankings before sex. He associated the two, naturally. He probably thought that I had been hitting on him from the get go too.
I grabbed my basket to go shopping again. I also had an envelope ready. I had written him a thank you note and enclosed two hundred dollars as compensation for what I had eaten etc...
He would be mad about that but I decided a clean break would be best.
I walked the few short blocks to the store. I was constantly looking over my shoulder. I was afraid of him. I had started something I couldn't finish. I had used him and we had both gotten hurt but the idea of having a boyfriend who thought it was his right, even his duty, to spank me was just so sick.
I entered the store and looked around. It was more of a convenient store, but it did have fresh fruits and vegetables. I got some milk, a head of salad and other little things. I had tried to keep the basket light but it always ended up too heavy.
I had the checkout girl help me put the basket on my arm so I could carry it that way until that got to be too much for me. Then I let it slip down my arm and into my hand. I walked home as quick as I could. I hurried up the stairs to my apartment like I was being chased. I first relaxed when everything had been put away.
This routine continued on every day. I would force myself to go out and buy a little something and slowly my refrigerator filled.
He wrote me about five or six e-mails a day. I read them all. I didn't answer any. That was more fair to him. I felt my actions had been clear enough. He wrote of love at first sight, and then he wrote about putting his feelings to the side, and just helping me with my problems again.
I tried to ignore them but I often found myself shaking my head as I thought about him. I worked day and night to get the chapters finished and off to my agent. She was happy with me and that is what mattered most.
On the first of December I decorated for Christmas. I even baked Christmas cookies and sang along with Christmas CD's. I loved Christmas.
I was having a tough time deciding what to get myself for Christmas this year. I was torn between a vacation somewhere good or something for my apartment.
I felt safe leaving the house now. I had seen no sign of him and was pretty sure I wouldn't. The only place he might be would be the hospital on the 4th.
I was a little tired today and sad. I had reread the book I had written and sent it to my agent. I wondered what she would say about it.
I wanted to bake myself some more cookies. That would cheer me up. I needed a couple more ingredients. I grabbed my basket and took off.
I chose a meat that I could make for myself tonight and of course if you ate cookies you needed milk. My mood was extremely good, Christmastime did that to me. I thanked the sell's clerk and asked her to help me get my basket on my arm again.
“Of course. How long do you have to wear the brace yet?” she asked.
“If I'm lucky it could be gone by tomorrow.”
&nbs
p; “I'll cross my fingers for you,” she answered.
A strong hand took the handle of my basket. “I'll carry that for you, Katherine.”
I looked and saw him standing right beside me. My mouth fell open. The checkout girl's mouth fell open too as she looked at him. I knew he was good looking but she was starting to drool.
“No thanks, I'm fine. I still haven't healed up completely from the last time you were chivalrous. You don't have to be – gallant.”
“I want to.” He took the basket and went out the door. I followed him out like a little girl in trouble, who goes with her mad father, because she knows she has nowhere else to go.
The girl at the checkout watched him leave too only she was staring at his backside. I worried more about mine.
He had moved on a little before he turned to look for me. “I saw you before when you went in. You came from this direction right?”
“Umm – I – I can manage this. You don't have to feel responsible about this.” I lifted my hand. “I have been taking marvelous care of myself. Eight hours of sleep, three meals a day. I'm on the right track.” I was trying to assure him but I didn't think it would work.
He set down the basket on the sidewalk. “I understand. You want to get rid of me. I won't make this hard on you. Just take care of yourself and please don't go looking for anyone else to – ” he dropped his voice, “to spank you. They will only hurt you. I don't want that. The thought of them getting their hands on you.”
He shook his head. “I love you so much. Please don't do anything like that. You are a very good person and you don't need to be punished for anything and I am so sorry if I ever gave you the feeling you weren't smart because I think you are very smart and very capable of living your life.” He had tears in his eyes as he turned to go.
I reached out to him to stop him. “Do you mean that?” I asked him that as if he had said little green men had landed on the planet, and they were taking all the women with them. As if it was something so impossible, that it just couldn't be believed.
Hot Cooking Spanker Wanted Page 8
