With that, I storm off to the bathroom. Showering, changing, and going to bed without a single word to anyone else.
The walls are closing in. Being so close to her, but keeping my distance fucking sucks. It’s for the best that she hates me. One day, she does want the happily ever after and I’m not that man. I’m thirty-three years old. I don’t live a lifestyle that promises me thirty-four.
Hooking up with her was a mistake. I crave her body like a heroin addict craves a needle to put in their vein. She’s my paradise. She consumes parts of me I never knew I had. Compassion, concern, and comfort, those are things I never had for anyone outside of my club brothers and I only have so much for them. With each mile that passes by, I worry more about Doll’s comfort and her needs. Never has a bitch gotten so deep within me.
I’m not good for her. I’m a bastard kid that grew into a bastard man. She’s a Hellion with or without tying herself to a brother. Roundman wouldn’t want her with me. He knows what I’ve done for the brotherhood, the risks I take with each run. That’s not the life I’d ever want for my daughter, if I had one.
Internal conflicts wage war in my head all night long. I wake up after little to no sleep, feeling no better about the situation with Doll. On one hand, I want nothing more than endless nights sated inside her body. On the other hand, the more serious hand, I’m no fucking good for her. I’m no fucking good for anyone.
How It’s Gonna Be
Another state behind us, South Dakota is a beautiful place to ride. Once again, Tripp didn’t stop at the visitor center, I have no map. I have an old map from my first time at the Sturgis bike rally. Motorcycle clubs come to the different rallies throughout the year to meet. Sometimes it’s to reaffirm allies are still intact, other times to negotiate business in a public way so to speak. Authorities would question twenty or more bikers rolling into a small town with no event calling them into the area. At a rally, as they all come together, it’s expected to have an over-abundance of bikers in one place. This makes for an easy meeting place to discuss future dealings.
Missing home, missing my dad, and spending all this time on the back of a bike, I’ve realized a few things. Maybe I’m not meant to be with Tripp, but I am meant to be an ol’ lady one day. Seeing Rachel with her daughter, I’m certain that one day I do want kids. One day, though, not now. I still have a lot to sort out.
The first thing being my dad. He’s not going to let me be with anyone freely. How does my dad feel about me being an ol’ lady? We’ve never discussed it. Pretty boys won’t do. My dad laughs that off because the pretty boys can’t handle me, he claims. I could meet someone like Dina and Maggie. Once they got married their husbands prospected and eventually patched in. Would an outsider really understand the lifestyle I’ve grown up in?
The thoughts swirling in my head make me dizzy. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I belong on the back of a bike. I belong with a man that will never consider one moment with me a mistake. I deserve a man that knows I’m worth everything and shows it every chance he can, not hiding behind a façade of bullshit.
After a long day of riding and almost five hundred miles under us, we stop outside of Sturgis. Sass is lost in her own thoughts today as well. I can see on her face that she’s homesick. My mistakes are what put her in this situation. My very best friend, now along for the ride, in a life she’s decided she no longer wants, and now she’s stuck in twenty four-seven. At every turn, I’m fucking everything up for everyone. As my thoughts consume me, I want nothing more than a shower and a bed.
We’re staying at an affiliate owned house tonight. It’s an off the compound house for the bikers to keep their mistresses and club whores away from their ol’ ladies. From the outside it looks like every other house in the neighborhood, nice two story white house, red shutters, a red front door, and a front porch with a swing.
Pulling around back, I park the bike. Doll climbs off. The separation immediately tugs at me. Walking in the back door, we enter through the kitchen.
The kitchen is a decent size, no upgrades, nothing fancy. Everything about this house is meant to blend in. Sitting at the small four person round table, coffee mug in hand is, Carmine. Her dark brown hair falling down past her shoulders in waves. She’s wearing an off the shoulder sweater falling far enough to expose the top of her rounded breasts cupped in a lace bra and tight black leggings leave nothing to the imagination of the tone body that is beneath the clothes.
Walking over to me, she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me down so she can place a chaste kiss on my lips. My body stiffens at the contact.
“Tripp, it’s good to see you again.” She coos.
“Only here for the night, Carmine. Need a room.” I bark.
“One room for the four of you. Damn, Tripp, I knew you liked kink, but I never thought you to be one to share.”
Glaring at her, “Don’t fuck with me bitch. You were given the heads up. Which room?”
“All worked up, Tripp, it’s kinda hot.” She’s tracing a finger over my chest around my Hellions cut. Grabbing her, I pull her up to me and whisper.
“Which fucking room, Carmine?”
“Upstairs, second on the left. Anything you need, just call.”
“Won’t be needin’ a damn thing.” I reply, releasing her roughly.
Yes, I brought Doll to a house that’s sole purpose is for hookups. One that I’ve been to before on a Hellions run. One I’ve spent more than one night with Carmine in. Carmine is the house mom. She was once a hooker whose pimp sold her to pay off a debt. Using her brain, she convinced the club that got her to use her skills to keep their women on the side away from the club. No longer a prostitute selling her own body, she runs this house. She’s a beautiful woman, and our mutual attraction has led to a couple of hookups when I’m on the road. Never anything serious.
Knowing this house has lookouts from the club that owns it, I can breathe for a minute that Doll is safe. As soon as we are in the room, Rex takes off to find a whore. This may be the longest he’s gone without a piece of ass. We won’t see him again until morning.
Sass settles in and Doll goes to shower. Feeling on edge, I decide I need space. Frustration consumes me at wanting Doll but knowing I’m no good for her. I exit the room, tension and confliction rolling off me.
Finding Carmine in the hall, I yank her to me. No words are shared between us. Pushing her up against the wall, I move her hair off her shoulder, exposing her neck, I suck hard. That’s gonna leave a mark and I don’t give a shit. She knows what I need right now. She’s pulling at my belt buckle. I pull her shirt off her and throw it down the hall. Roughly, I tug her breasts from the cups of her bra, releasing them. Taking them in my hand, I twist and pinch her nipple. She moans as her excitement builds up. Her hand moves down into my pants, stroking me. I tug her pants down, only removing one leg. Reaching in my back pocket, I remove the condom from my wallet. Carmine is stroking me with one hand, while reaching down and playing with her pussy with her other. Pulling out of her grasp, I move my pants enough to expose my dick and roll the condom on. I pull her other hand away from her pussy and replace it with my own.
“So wet. You dirty little cunt. Your pussy is always so wet and waiting for any cock to fill you.”
And with that, I pull my fingers out and pound into her. Taking one of her legs, I wrap it around my waist as I thrust vigorously in and out of her. The pace is furious and leaves me sweating. Roughly, I pull her hair to the side, exposing her neck, as I suck hard again. Yeah, I’m gonna mark the bitch up. She likes it rough; fuck she likes it any way she can get it. I’m pounding so hard inside her that my piercing is painfully pulling on my dick. I don’t give a fuck.
My mind is on the blonde taking a shower. The water washing over her full breasts. Her tongue licking the lips that were made for me to kiss. Is she washing her thighs? Thighs that were made to wrap around me. Is she washing that sweet pussy? The pussy that hugs me like no other pussy has ever before.
It’s not because I fucked her raw either. I wrap up every single time. Doll is the only one I’ve ever had sex without using a condom. Shit felt good, too good. I growl my frustration as my balls tighten, my release soon coming.
“Kiss me, Tripp.” Carmine whimpers bringing me back to reality.
As I explode into the condom, I pull back. “I don’t kiss the bitches I fuck.”
With that, I pull out of her. Pulling off the condom, I knot the end and toss it to the floor. The bitch can clean it up. Tucking my junk in my jeans, I turn to go back to my room. Looking up, I find I’m face to face with one enraged Doll.
In My Face
What the hell am I watching? Unable to move, I continue to stare like an idiot. It’s the train wreck you can’t take your eyes off of. Looking around, I see Carmine’s shirt on the ground with a condom wrapper.
Shit! Tripp and I had unprotected sex. It hasn’t crossed my mind until this moment. I’m on the pill so I’m not worried about an unplanned pregnancy. Damn it! How many bitches has he fucked? Looks like I need to get checked when I get home from this ride. Oh what wonderful souvenirs, chlamydia, crabs, and genital warts, oh my! Fuck Me!
Tripp’s so rough and cold with her. Completely different from how he was with me. Did I imagine the passion and kindness he shared with me? He’s finished and is now looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Carmine putting her pants back on. Rage consumes me.
“You mother fuckin’, piece of shit, bastard.” I say as Tripp walks to me.
As soon as he’s within arm’s length, I slap him hard across the face. He steps forward again, rubbing his cheek. Needing to release my aggression, I ball my fist and swing. Right as my arm is coming up in the upper cut, he grabs my wrist. Pulling me into him, he growls into my ear.
“That’s your one pass. You wanna hit me like a man, be ready to take it like a man.” He says in a cold tone with his eyes looking down into mine with a faraway gaze.
Tensing under him, I yank my wrist away. “It’s good to see your true colors come out. You’re right, Tripp. You can’t give me what I want. I deserve better than you. Fuck your whore against the wall. Fuck your life away for all I care.”
“Sleeping with you was a mistake, Doll. Tame your shit before this gets outta hand.” His cold stare sends ice through my veins.
“A mistake. Bastard, I’m no one’s mistake. You don’t deserve a woman like me for even one night. I only wanted one night of fun. I got it. Lesson fucking learned to think there was more to Talon Crews than bikes and bitches. My bad for thinking there was a heart behind the man. Or for thinking for two goddamn seconds that you could respect someone you were balls deep inside two fucking nights ago. Do what the hell you want, but I never thought you’d throw it in my face. I see the real you now, I know the score. Fuck off.”
Storming back inside the room, I slam the door in his face and lock it. Once inside, Sass immediately rushes over. My body is trembling as the adrenaline is running through me. I’m confused, angry, homesick, and hurting. Tripp and I aren’t in a relationship. He’s never promised me anything. He said I was worth everything though, and I can’t get that out of my head.
It’s all too much. The shit with Delatorre, leaving home, and being stuck in such close quarters, it’s messed with me. Tripp isn’t worth all this bullshit, no man is. Finding a new resolve, I’m ready to get through the rest of the ride and go home. When I get back home, this will be nothing but a memory.
Walking past Carmine, I say nothing. I’m numb. Finding Rex, I send him back to the girl’s room while I crash in another bedroom. Tossing and turning, I’m unable to sleep. My phone rings around midnight.
“Crews,” I answer, not looking at the caller ID. Only three people know I have this phone today and tomorrow I will have a new one.
“The threat’s been dealt with.” Roundman says.
“You want the girls on a plane home then?” I ask sitting up in the bed. Roundman sounds stressed. The threat may be handled, but something isn’t right.
“Not yet, head on to Broadus, then go west. Don’t care where you go, you know the checkpoints. When we’re sure there’s no blow back, you can send the girls home.”
“Everything alright, Roundman?”
“Tank took a hit. He’s in the hospital. Don’t look good. We’ve got two others in critical that probably won’t pull through. We lost Bull and Perry.” His words slam into my chest. It’s a risk we all take in this lifestyle, but it stings no less when you face it.
“Fuck!”
“Yeah. Check in after the Shifters and take care of my Doll. I’ll call her in the morning and make sure she knows her place tomorrow. Letting her in my clubhouse is one thing. Having her in someone else’s makes me fuckin’ twitchy.”
“She’s fierce, but she won’t fuck over the Hellions by startin’ some shit tomorrow. No worries, Roundman.”
“I don’t like havin’ women around this shit. She’s safer with you than here though, so I ain’t got no fuckin’ choice.”
With that our conversation ends and I plan our route after our stop in Montana.
Know Your Place
Tripp slept in another room the last two nights, which is fine by me. I never had any expectations of him. Having expectations of people only leads to let downs. We had a good fuck, moving on. Carmine has stayed clear of me too, which is in her best interest.
Talking to my dad this morning, my stomach tightens. I miss home. Hell, I even miss chasing down people over storage shit now.
Lecture after lecture from him about going to another motorcycle club have me on edge. He doesn’t want me to fly off at the mouth to the other club. The shit I may get by with in his club is one thing, but these other bikers don’t know me, and none of them owe me a damn thing.
Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore, I think to myself. I fucking get it. I’m not in the safety of the Hellions’ compound. No popping off at the mouth to the bikers. I’m not an ol’ lady. I may be Roundman’s daughter, but I’m on my way to Shifter’s territory. They don’t know me, and they don’t give a fuck who I am. They’ve earned their cuts and my respect, period.
‘Know your place, Doll.’ My dad’s voice reverberates through my head. We have an agreement with the Shifters, but at the end of the day, agreements can be broken in a moment’s notice. For whatever reason, my dad likes these guys and trusts them, so I will know my place, be seen, not heard, and nowhere near business.
Thinking about the many rallies and trips I’ve taken with my dad, I know I’ve opened my mouth one too many times before. Bikers are brash, blunt, and rough around the edges. I know these things, but approaching me like a club whore never ends well. Sass and I have never been degraded in our own club, but it happens when we’re out. It usually ends with us cussing someone out, a Hellion either stepping in to pull us off, or to kick the ass of whoever offended us.
Keeping my mouth shut is never easy, but the club needs less drama right now. Pull it together, Doll. I’m twenty-five years old, I hate when they act like I’m seven-damn-teen. I’ve been sheltered, that’s fuckin’ apparent in this trip, but I know how to act.
Tripp is at the bike ready to go when I get outside. Without a word, I put on my helmet, and climb on. Keeping as much space between us, we silently ride. Another state line crossed with no map. What the fuck ever, I don’t really feel the need to memorialize this trip anymore anyway.
Traveling normally doesn’t bother me. Outside of the club I’ve got no roots. That’s why I was given the name Tripp. I’m always ready for the next ride, the next trip out of town and my next moment to escape the ordinary day to day. When no one has been truly solid in your life, there’s nothing holding you down. Outside of my club, no one cares if I’m in Carolina or California.
Rex and I make sure his mom, Jolene, doesn’t have to work as hard anymore. She checks in on us, but the connection never has been strong. We’ve always been too much for her to handle. She smiles, cooks us a meal ever
y so often, and calls every few days to check in. She doesn’t like taking our money, but she does use it to keep flowers on our grandparent’s grave and keep up their old house. I’m pretty sure she helps my mom. She’s never admitted to knowing my mom’s whereabouts to us or my grandparents, but she always acts funny when you mention her sister.
This trip with Doll is weighing on me. Once we get back to Carolina, I’ll be forgotten. She can settle down and find a man to make her happy. For her sake, and that of her future little hellions, I hope it’s not someone in this life.
Tank’s in a coma, hooked up to who knows how many devices to keep him going. Machines are breathing life into my brother. Two shots to the head, four to his abdomen, we’re lucky he’s even semi stable now. The last update this morning is no news is good news. They don’t know what he will be like when he’s healed enough to be pulled out of the drug induced coma, or if he will pull out. We lost two brothers already and two more are in critical condition, not expected to pull through. A few others banged up, but not in life threatening situations. Delatorre’s crew suffered more loss, but that’s not something I’ll lose any sleep over.
Arriving in town, we pull into the cabin we’re staying in for the evening. My boys are not far behind and will get some food for when we get back from the compound. Dropping off our bags, I let the girls stretch, change and rest for an hour before we head out again.
There’s No Place Like Home
The ride has been uneventful. Tripp and I only exchange casual pleasantries. We pull over not far from the Shifter’s compound. I make no move to get off. Tripp removes his cut. Looking over my shoulder, Rex is taking his off and tucking it into a saddlebag as well. Seeing the confusion on my face, Tripp gives a half smile and squeezes my thigh.
One Ride (The Hellions Ride) Page 11
