Left speechless, I climb off the bed and hug him tight. His hand rubs my back gently as I enjoy the connection in this moment with this all-consuming man. He frustrates me in a way no one else ever has. He can hurt me quicker than anyone has ever been able to hurt me. He can make me smile in a way no one ever has made me smile before. There is something about him that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go of.
Friends. We’re just friends I remind myself. My traitorous body wanting so much more from this man in my arms. He hugs me back, his head dropping to the crook of my neck. As he inhales, I feel like he’s breathing me in. Sucking my soul further into him, I’ll never be the same again. We may never have sex again, but Talon ‘Tripp’ Crews will, forever, hold a piece of me.
There were so many moments today where I wanted to reach my arms around her. Times that I wanted to kiss her, hold her hand, to be more than I can really be for her. Long term, there’s no promise of a future. Therefore I can’t lead her on as much as it kills me to restrain myself.
It was relaxing to let my guard down and hang out today. Usually, when we travel it’s for a transport, and I have business on my brain. The club needs are always on my mind. To make sure my brothers all have what they need to provide for their families and stay safe is my priority. It’s been years since I’ve been somewhere and taken in the moments and the memories created. Memories, that’s what all of this will become once we get back to North Carolina.
I once asked my grandpa how he could go on without grams. He said, “Talon, you live on with the memories you make. Cherish the times you have with those you love to push you through the times when they’re gone.”
This is a time I’ll forever cherish. Doll has gotten into a place no one has ever been before. I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know what I’m feeling. Everything about her is suddenly important to me and not because Roundman ordered me to protect her. She’s everything because she’s Delilah. She’s the doll I treasure and value. A doll to protect and cherish.
After she finishes tracing the route we took on the new maps, we decide to sleep. After clearing off the bed, we both lay down. Rather than fight what I’m feeling, I pull her over to me. Wrapping her arm around my waist, pulling her leg over mine, and placing her head on my chest. Warmth, comfort, security, and acceptance all surround me as I fall into an easy sleep.
Never
Waking up in Tripp’s arms, rather than an empty bed, brings a smile to my face. It’s comfortable to be with him like this. I run my fingers over the chains of his tattoo. Tracing the rattle, Tripp grabs my hand to still me.
“What’s it mean?” I ask, leaning up to look in his eyes. He sighs before beginning.
“The chains of our pasts always hold us back until we die. The first place I was broken, was as a baby. My mom left me and never looked back.” He states as I trace lower to the pocket watch. “Hands of time. My grandparents were taken when I was much too young. We never know when our clock will stop.” He answers with sadness in his voice. My finger tingles as I trace lower.
“Someone broke your heart?” I ask as I reach the broken heart. He laughs under me. “No, Doll, I’ve never had my heart broken. But there is heartbreak in loneliness. And there are people who aren’t meant to have love like that.” He answers with a tone that is devoid of emotion.
“Have you ever been in love, Talon?” I ask, now curious about why he feels he’s not meant to have love.
“No, Doll, I’ve never experienced the feeling of being in love. I have love for my family and for my club. As for a woman, I don’t lead a lifestyle that is conducive to having love and a long lasting relationship.” He stiffens under me.
Sitting up in the bed to look at him, I reply. “Why do you feel you can’t be loved? Don’t give me that lifestyle bullshit because there are ol’ ladies that freely accept what their men do.”
“I never said I can’t be loved. I’ve never been in love. I won’t put a woman in the situation to face my lifestyle. It’s not fair to them to wonder where I’m at or whether I’ll make it home.”
“That’s a bunch of bullshit, Talon. This life isn’t an easy one. But damn it, when you find someone and it means something, you make it work. The good times outweigh the bad. Tomorrow isn’t promised for anyone. Why shut yourself off from happiness for a club?”
“It’s not just a club, and you fuckin’ know it. The club comes first; you tellin’ me a woman would understand that?” He sits up abruptly, now face to face we sit on the bed.
“Not every woman would, but there are some that can and do.” Instinctively, I bring my hand up to run my fingers along his cheek and follow his jaw. “This is my world, Talon, I don’t know any other way. Don’t close yourself off when you could have it all.” Pausing before I continue, knowing in this moment, I’m opening myself up in a way I never have before. “And all of it could be sitting right in front of your face.” I whisper.
The words come out of my mouth before I can stop myself. This is a risk, exposing my feelings to him. Feeling vulnerable, I lean in to kiss him, soft, slow, and with passion. What starts out tenderly, quickly becomes so much more. His arms come up, pulling me to straddle him. His tongue devours my mouth as I run my hands up into his hair. His hand grabs my ass, grinding me on his erection. The sensation sends fireworks through me. I want him. Pulling away, I lick his neck before sucking his earlobe gently. His hand comes up my shirt, cupping my breast with his palm as his fingers tweak my sensitive nipples.
“Talon, please,” I beg, already worked to a frenzy in need of release.
He removes my shirt, immediately taking my nipple into his mouth. Taking his hand, he runs up my thigh and under my shorts. Rubbing my mound through my panties, I rock against him needing more. Pushing the lace aside, he rubs my pussy. His thumb now making circles on my clit brings me to the edge. He continues sucking and blowing on my nipples, then tracing his way to gently nip at my collarbone and neck. When he inserts his finger in my tight, wet heat, I’m ready to combust. His pace steady, I’m so close. He inserts a second finger. Rocking into him, I lose myself to his fingers. When his thumb rubs my clit, I go over the edge, calling out his name.
“I love hearing my name come off your lips.” He growls against me, before I kiss him with everything I can give.
He removes his fingers, sliding off my shorts and panties. Pulling him to me and rolling us over, he’s now over me. He stops and stares at me for a moment. I run my fingers over his jaw.
“Talon.” Before I can finish my sentence, he’s kissing me hard as I wrap my legs around him and try to remove his pants.
Pounding on the door stops both of us. Tripp drops his head to my breasts. “Fuck!” He groans getting off me gently with a chaste kiss. He stalks over to the door with no way to hide the tent bulging in his pants. I lay back on the bed, wanting more time with this man.
“Shit better be important,” He says looking in the peephole of the door. I hear Rex on the other side.
“Fucker, you’re late. I’ve been calling, shithead. Put your clothes on and let’s ride.”
“Ten minutes.” Tripp answers never opening the door.
He runs his fingers through his hair as he turns back to face me. “Come on, Doll, we gotta get dressed and go.” The frustration is evident in his voice as his muscles tense with his body’s need for release.
“We have ten minutes.” I say with a wink.
“Darlin’ I’m no ten minute man with you. If we continue, I’m not stopping until you can’t walk right.”
He walks over to me. I get up on my knees on the bed as he reaches me. Kissing me wildly, I moan into him, as I rub my hand over his cock. Pulling away, he smiles down at me, while he moves my hand off of him.
“I’m going to take a very cold shower. You get dressed so we can leave when I get out.”
Before I can entice him to stay, he kisses my forehead, and heads to the bathroom. When I hear the lock of the bathroom door, I get dressed k
nowing that I need not be a further distraction.
The cold water runs over me as I try to calm my raging hard on. Damn it! I’ve never shared so much of myself with anyone. She stirs so much inside of me. Rex came to the door at the right time. Otherwise, I’d be balls deep in her right now. If I’m honest with myself, I’d be a happy man to wake up talking with her every morning.
Fuck! I’m no good for her. No more sleeping with her. We need space between us. She wants things I can’t give her. Even if she can accept my lifestyle, I can’t tie her down to waiting for me to come home from a run or a transport. Thinking of how much I’m away, easily reminds me why she’s better off without me.
When I can’t take the cold water anymore, I get out of the shower. Still semi hard, but manageable, I get dressed. Today, we will head through Utah. The time on the road will be good for me to gather my thoughts. Self-control is something I’ve always had until Delilah ‘Doll’ Reklinger walked into my life. With her, I can’t stop myself even when I need to.
Walking out of the bathroom, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure Doll would listen and actually get ready. Part of me wanted to walk out to her naked and waiting. The responsible, serious side of me is thankful she’s dressed and packed.
We walk out of the cabin and secure our stuff on the bikes.
“I knew you were a five minute fucker.” Rex yells over to me laughing. Doll’s face blushes before she responds.
“Five minutes promises me two orgasms and that’s just with his fingers. You gave us ten minutes, Rex. I’m still working through the aftershocks. Now, I’m gonna ride this bike to wherever we’re headed with my panties soaked waiting to give Talon the ride tonight. By tomorrow, I won’t be able to walk straight. Question is…what can you do for your woman in ten minutes, Rex? Can you make her crave you all fuckin’ day? Can you make her soak through her panties in want for you in a mere five minutes? No, babe, you can’t. So put your helmet on, climb on your bike, and next time you come knocking, bring coffee.”
Rex and I both bust out laughing, as she walks over and high fives Sass. We forget Doll grew up around bikers and our brash language. We get settle on the bikes and pull out. The ride to Utah does nothing to calm my need and want for the woman on the back of my bike. If there’s one thing I don’t need to do, it’s have sex with Doll again.
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
The weather stalls us once we cross over into Utah. We’re under an overpass waiting for the rain shower to move through. Tripp steps away to make a phone call. I’m unsure where things stand between us. Determined not to overthink all of this, I’ve decided where Talon ‘Tripp’ Crews is concerned, I’m going to go with the flow.
Rex is wiping down both bikes, leaving Sass and I waiting around. She is standing beside me as the cars pass us by.
“Okay love, we haven’t had our girl time lately. Spill it, bitch.” Turning to face me, she’s smiling.
Laughing at her, I reply. “I don’t know. Tripp triggers so much inside of me.”
“You’ve got it bad, Doll. Never has anyone gotten you this smitten.”
Pushing her playfully, “smitten? Did you really call me smitten?”
“Sure did. If the shoe fits, wear it Cinderella.” She puts her hands on her hips as she is holding in the laughter that’s threatening to pour out of her. I’ve never been the one to get hung up on a guy. For her this is better than reality TV.
“I. Am. Not. Smitten. We’re in extenuating circumstances.” She nods at me with a ‘know it all’ smile. “Damn it, okay, I’m smitten. I’m head over heels in lust with Tripp. There. Happy now?”
“You’re more than in lust with him. Admit it. There’s a whole lot more going on than raging hormones.”
Unable to bring myself to admit it, I look at her with pleading in my eyes. She wraps her arms around me knowing I need the comfort of my best friend right now. What if this is all one sided? We don’t really know each other. Do people develop feelings this quickly? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak? Pulling back to face her again, I respond.
“Sass, what if it’s not real? Look at the chaos surrounding us. I can’t say that I love him because that would seem like a fantasy to fall in love so quickly. I’m not stupid enough to say that I don’t have feelings for him. Yes, I’m attracted to him. Beyond the physical though, I want to know him. What makes him tick? What makes him smile? The man inside his soul calls to me to go deeper and find him.”
Her face draws serious. “Fate has a way of giving us exactly what we need, when we need it. Tripp’s your protector at the time you’ve needed it the most. He’s also been your security in all of this. Whether you make the emotions swirling around you last a day, or a lifetime, you live in the moment. Whatever you’re feeling right now, don’t you dare turn your back on it out of fear. Doing so will leave you with a lifetime of what ifs.”
She’s right and I really hate it when she’s right. Guarding my raw emotions once again, I look over at Tripp before returning my gaze to Sass.
“He may not feel anything for me anyway. I’m an order, remember? Protecting me, this ride, the charade we’re all putting on here is a direct order from my dad.”
“Doll, cut the shit, it’s me you’re talking to. Your dad certainly didn’t give Tripp the order to kiss you, fuck you, or worry about your comfort. The order was to take you on a ride and keep you safe. There is an attraction for both of you, whether you want to pussy foot around it or not. Keep dancing around each other or get real. Be an adult, own what you’re feeling. Rex has even said Tripp’s never been this relaxed with someone. Don’t fight what’s meant to be.”
Rex walks over, ending any further conversation. The expression on his features when he looks at me is one of knowing. Rex sees right through me.
“Talking about Tripp, huh?” He asks, handing Sass a rain jacket to put on.
“What? Tripp? No way. Why would you say that?” I try to cover my tracks.
“Whatever, Doll. Anytime he thinks of you or talks about you, he smiles. When you talk about him or think of him, you get all serious. Opposites attract they say, but you two bring out the opposite in each other.” He says shaking his head and grinning lazily.
“He smiles when he talks about me?” I question innocently, stunned by Rex’s candid statement.
“Yeah, Doll, he does. Y’all need to quit fighting it and see where it goes.”
“Where what goes?” Tripp interjects approaching.
“The love, lust, fucking crazy ass attraction you two have.” Rex answers bluntly. Shaking his head, Tripp doesn’t reply. Instead, he hands me a rain jacket and gets us ready to get back on the road.
Apparently, Doll is as conflicted as I am about the magnetic pull between us. After a miserable few hours riding in and out of rain showers, we are finally settled into the guesthouse we’re staying in tonight. We’re on the Steel Riders motorcycle club Prez’s property. He has a pool house he’s opened to us for the evening. It’s an open room with a small bathroom, one bed, the sofa that pulls out into a bed, and a chair.
We each take turns showering. Sass has taken the couch, Rex is settling into the chair, and Doll is curled up in the bed. I lay down beside her without a second thought. I hear her whispering.
“One step forward, two steps back.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I whisper back to her, rolling her over to me.
“Exactly what I said. We take one step forward only to take two steps back.”
Is she that blind that she doesn’t see it. Tipping her chin up to make her look me in the eye, I reply.
“Don’t be a bitch Doll. Am I not here in bed with you?”
“Yeah, you are, but what are we doing? One minute, you’re ready to ravage my body, the next you act as if you’re merely tolerating me.” She says struggling to keep her whisper low.
“You can’t possibly believe that. Where am I right now, Doll? In. Fucking. Bed. With. You.”
I can see the t
ears pooling in her eyes out of uncertainty. I’ve given her no reason to have confidence in me, or in us. Those tears are pooling because I’m not man enough to give her the reassurance she needs.
“You’re in bed with me because the only other option is the floor.” She replies dryly.
“What do you want from me? Obviously, you expect something and I haven’t delivered.” My irritation is clearly evident in the grading in my tone.
“I don’t fucking know Tripp. This morning, you couldn’t keep your hands off me. Then today, you barely acknowledge me. Now you’re in bed with me actually planning to sleep.”
I can’t stop the laugh that slips out of me. She’s frustrated because she wants me, and she thinks I don’t want her.
“Do you want me to fuck you in an open room with your best friend and my cousin here to watch?”
She shakes her head no. The realization of what she’s wanting is dawning on her face. I decide to have a little fun and help her relive the tension.
“I can strip you down right now.” I rub my hand ever so slightly up and down her leg, feeling the goose bumps erupt over her flesh as I continue to whisper in her ear. “I can take my tongue and start right here at the sweet spot of your ear.” Gently, I lick the bottom of her earlobe before nipping it with my teeth. Moving my hand, I trace her neck with my fingers, working down to follow the line of her tank top. “Then come down and take your perfect pink nipples in my mouth and suck hard until you are squirming beneath me.” Trailing my hand lower I rub circles on the belly of her tank top without going under her shirt. “I can lick my way south,” I say as I slide my hand under the waistband of her shorts. As my hand finds her folds, she rocks into me, seeking more. “Using my tongue, I could tease this spot right here.” I say as I firmly circle her clit. Her body is coming alive under me. I insert one finger, “I can lick inside you and taste your sweet essence. You’re my drug of choice, Doll, and I’ll never get enough.” I begin slowly working my finger in and out of her as she’s building around me. “I want to bury my cock so deep in you. I want to hear you scream my name over and over as my piercing hits the walls of your pussy, baby.” Her panting becoming faster, I add a second finger, stretching her. I increase my pace as she’s rocking on me. As she reaches her climax, I kiss her with everything I’ve got. Silencing her moans in my mouth, I take in this moment.
One Ride (The Hellions Ride) Page 13
