Jordan reached for more tissue from the table. She was wounded and scared from the traumatic experience. She hurt so much, but couldn’t fully articulate how deeply her pain went to the women. The thought of Eric touching Candace, let alone having sex with her, turned Jordan’s stomach. She could only pray that God would walk with her, guide her, and bring something good out of this situation. But at the moment, all hope of anything good coming from this seemed gone; her only trust had to be in God.
“Jordan, if you need to stay here, you can for as long as you like. This is a great place for solitude and to seek the Lord,” Kaylan offered.
Kaylan’s offer humbled Jordan. “Oh, thank you. That’s so nice of you to offer. I just might take you up on that.” Jordan didn’t know what to do at first. She was grateful that she had a job and wasn’t like a lot of other women who didn’t work, depending solely on their husbands for everything. That was one thing about Jordan: she knew how to bounce back, but she’d be the first to admit, this had turned her world upside down.
Tiffany hesitated before replying. “We still have two more days here, unless what has happened has cancelled the rest of our retreat. I mean, we could pray now and believe God that He’ll begin the process of healing. There’s no time like the present.”
“Most definitely,” answered Kaylan. “No. We could continue as planned, unless Jordan is ready to go back home. It’s up to her.” Jordan didn’t know what kind of company she’d be, but she wasn’t ready to go back home.
“No, let’s use the remaining time here as planned, minus one. God knew this was going to happen,” replied Jordan. “I want to use this time to do what a retreat is supposed to do: refresh, rejuvenate, and restore. And what I really need is to get in God’s face.”
Today, the living room was going to be their sanctuary, that place where they hoped to find answers and lay all their burdens down. This was going to be their individual time with God. They all had their own trials, needs, struggles, and tests. With the chain of events that happened today, a divine encounter with God was not just needed, but desired.
Kaylan stood up and walked to the stereo where she popped in a worship CD, and listened to the songs from Israel Houghton, CeCe Winans, and Donnie McClurkin. The atmosphere was set for worship. The melodies to the songs seemed to make all their problems, worries, and anxieties go away. Then they lowered their knees and prostrated themselves for prayer.
Kaylan began the worship with prayers unto God: “Lord, You see where we are; we are hurting. Help us deal with what has happened this weekend. We pray that Candace comes to the knowledge of the truth, that she repents of her actions, and gets saved.” When words were not enough, they worshipped. The more they worshipped, the more the presence of God filled the room, and the Holy Spirit began to remind them of certain scriptures pertaining to their requests.
Tiffany petitioned the Lord concerning their families, their jobs, and direction for their lives. “Lord, Your Word says that all things will work together for good. We pray that no matter what happens in life, Your will shall be done.”
When it came time for Jordan to pray, all she could muster up was her tears. In between the sobs, she was asking the Lord to guide her steps. “Father, hear my cry. Help me forgive Candace and Eric. Show me my purpose.” In between their time, they worshipped and lifted up their hands as a sign of surrender.
After an hour of communing with God, they stood up and reclaimed their seats on the couch. They sat quietly, waiting to hear more from God and to receive the answers to their requests.
Once they concluded their prayers, they decided to turn in for the evening. Tomorrow was going to be another full day, but they were determined not to let what happened ruin the rest of the weekend.
Chapter 11
Six months later…
On Saturday morning, Jordan crawled out of her king-size bed and headed towards the bathroom to take a soothing bath. She lined the tub with vanilla-scented candles. She slowly undressed, then eased herself into the tub. For twenty minutes, she tried to enjoy the aromatherapy and allow the bath to relax her weary body, but visions of the past still caused her heart to ache.
She spent the last six months trying to get adjusted to being single again. You can spend your entire life wanting to be in a long-lasting relationship, and just when you think you’ve found the person, the rug is snatched right from under you, she thought. The person that said ‘change hurts’ wasn’t lying. She knew that all too well.
She had filed for divorce from Eric and was slowly getting her life in order… very slowly. Eric had moved out and moved on, which meant rearranging her house to her specifications, sleeping alone, and eating by herself. Those three things were a continuous reminder that her fairytale had ended. She thought she’d married the man of her dreams—her college sweetheart and soul mate. She decided it was time for her to move on, too.
She didn’t realize how difficult the transition was going to be. At times, she questioned her own ability to stand. Can I do this? Am I strong enough? She’d buckle at the knees with the weight of everything she was facing, but God was her rock.
“Being alone sucks,” she said to herself. Many days she fought depression and loneliness. Some days were better than others. It was still hard for her to accept how her life had changed. But she was determined to press through the days and long nights and not let what she was experiencing defeat her. She was taking it a day at a time. Her pastor told her that ‘better days would come’. She would cling to that word forever.
One thing she could attest to, and that was her walk with Christ was growing stronger. Her prayer life had gone up to another level and her study time had increased. She was learning how to hear from God more clearly.
Nonetheless, she knew one decision, one deceptive act, one wrong turn in life made all the difference in the world. The consequences of Eric’s and Candace’s behavior left a bitter taste in her mouth. No ifs, ands, or buts about it; she was still heartbroken.
She stepped out of the bathroom and slipped into some leggings and a tee shirt. Minutes later, she walked into her kitchen where she prepared herself a cup of hazelnut coffee. She sat down at the kitchen table with her Bible, notebook, and tablet when suddenly she heard the Lord say to her spirit, “All is not lost.”
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Kaylan woke up from her nap to what she thought was a nightmare. She lay in bed with the covers over her body, staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of what she felt in her spirit. She’d tossed and turned the night before, but this time she was feeling uneasy because she knew something was not right. She whispered, “Lord what’s wrong with Candace? Something is very wrong.”
Since the retreat, she had been in prayer for all of them, Candace, Jordan, and Tiffany. She knew Jordan was still heartbroken and torn; and Tiffany, at times, could hold a grudge, but she’d come around sooner or later. She prayed earnestly for their relationship, but most importantly, for Candace’s salvation. Candace needed to have a genuine encounter with the Lord. No religion or religious experience, but she needed to be “born again”. (The old folks used to say “born anew”).
Candace’s actions showed that she had some internal demons and strongholds that followed her throughout the years. Their friend was a “hot mess” and no one would dispute that. But Kaylan knew that God specialized in helping those who were a “hot mess”.
“Lord, I don’t know what to do. You know her plight, her situation, and what is going on now with her. What can I do?” Kaylan reached for her cell phone on the nightstand to check the time; it was 5:30 p.m. She rolled out of her king-size bed and placed her feet in her slippers. She marched down the hall to her office to do some work and to call Candace.
Once inside, she walked to her desk and pulled out her brown, leather chair. She turned on her Surface tablet, checked her emails, surfed the Internet, and purchased a new Dooney and Bourke bag off of QVC.
It had been six months since the incident that occurred w
ith Candace. No one, including Kaylan, had reached out to connect with Candace. After all, what did anyone have to say to her? And why would they? She was the one who offended, backstabbed, and hurt them.
Kaylan had been saved long enough to know that God would require the more mature Christian to make amends. That’s where she came in. Apparently, God wanted either the relationships to be reconciled or He wanted Candace truly saved, or both. Either way, Candace was now her project.
If it was up to Kaylan, she wouldn’t try to reach out, because it felt like she’d be disloyal to Jordan. But it wasn’t about being disloyal; it was about obeying God and doing what Kaylan believed was right, not according to any one person, but right according to God. Even if they never spent any more time with Candace, they still needed to forgive her, as hard as it was.
She did have one thing holding her back, though. Kaylan wasn’t sure what to say to her or how to approach her. All she knew was that God had placed Candace on her heart. Jordan and Tiffany would not understand her trying to reconnect with someone who did what Candace had done.
For the next sixty minutes, Kaylan looked over her work schedule for the upcoming week. She tried to gather her thoughts and face the inevitable—calling Candace. She leaned back in her chair and took a deep breath before dialing the number. She stared at her cell phone with hesitation. Nonetheless, she hit the Contacts button on her phone and searched in her list; but as soon as she punched in her number, a call came in from Tiffany.
“Hey, Tiffany, what’s up?” she answered.
“Gurrrl, have you heard about Candace?” Tiffany sounded flabbergasted. Kaylan leaned forward and listened eagerly. Tiffany’s tone was a true indication that something dreadful had happened to Candace. She had Kaylan’s full attention. Are my questions going to be answered in the next few seconds? she wondered.
“I just got off the phone with a reliable source who told me that Candace tried to commit suicide.”
Kaylan was so surprised; her mouth fell open. “What?” Kaylan’s voice raised an octave. “Where is she? How is she doing?”
“Slow your roll, Kaylan. One question at a time. She is at John Muir Hospital in Walnut Creek.”
“When did this happen?” Kaylan grilled.
There was a long silence before Tiffany spoke again. “She was brought in last night.” Kaylan detected the uneasiness in her voice. “They pumped her stomach. She’s still alive.”
“I wonder who is with her. I know her family is not there. I wonder if they know,” Kaylan asked, genuinely concerned. “I’m sure she’s all alone.”
“Oh, well,” Tiffany retorted.
“Tiffany, don’t be so heartless. She’s still our friend who just happens to be messed up. She needs us. She needs Jesus, too,” Kaylan said with concern.
“Speak for yourself. I mean, she doesn’t need us,” Tiffany shot back.
“How would you feel if we didn’t come to your aid, or come see you if something like this happened to you?” Kaylan asked.
“Well, first of all, I don’t sleep with married men, especially my friends’ husbands. That’s just foul. Secondly, the Bible says that whatever a man sows, that shall he reap.”
“Wow. Tiffany, we have to show compassion; we give mercy to receive mercy. The Bible says He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy. When a person tries to commit suicide, it’s because of some deeper, internal problems. It’s a spiritual battle that goes on in the soul of the person. I know… because I wanted to commit suicide before,” Kaylan explained.
“What?” Tiffany shouted. “You never told me. Why would someone of your caliber, status, and wealth want to end her life?”
“Well, I have to tell you that story some other time, but for now, it’s about Candace. This confirms my dream.”
“What dream?” Tiffany questioned.
“The Lord woke me up this morning to pray for Candace. I knew it was something terrible, but I didn’t know it was this. In fact, I was about to call her right before you called.”
Tiffany was shocked. “Really?”
“Candace needs to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. Maybe now she will get the help she needs. Don’t get me wrong; I believe Jesus can touch her and make her whole, but she first needs to believe and want His help,” Kaylan explained. “Yes, when Jesus truly is Lord over our lives, He makes all the difference.”
Tiffany agreed. “Amen.”
“We need to see her,” Kaylan stressed. “That’s the least we can do. Can’t you lay aside how you feel about her for a moment? We have to forgive, and this is one way we can show it.”
Tiffany knew Kaylan was serious about seeing Candace, but Tiffany didn’t know how Jordan was going to react to the news of the hospital visit. After all, Jordan’s feelings mattered, too. Kaylan paused, waiting for her to respond.
“You’re right, and she does need to be ministered to. I know I need to forgive her, as well. If y’all can forgive her, I know I can, too,” said Tiffany.
“Have you told Jordan the news?” Kaylan questioned.
“Yes. I called her before calling you. But which one of us will be the one to tell her we are going to visit Candace? She did ask if we were going to visit her, so, she kinda figured we might.”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t think Jordan is going to be mad at either one of us. Why don’t we do a three-way call?”
“That’s a great idea. Let me get her on the line.”
When the call connected, Jordan answered on the first ring. They explained to her that they wanted to go and visit Candace. Without hesitation, Jordan concurred, and surprisingly, she wanted to join them. Jordan was still hurt, but she decided to show mercy and grace and to walk in forgiveness. They didn’t know what the future was going to hold for their relationship with Candace, but they were reminded of one scripture: “Work at getting along with each other and with God…Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity” (Hebrews 12:14 The Message). Together, with God’s help, they would do everything in their power to mend what had been broken.
About the Author
Beginning her career in 2008, Paulette is an award-winning, bestselling, award-winning author and the founder of WNL Coaching and Marketing Services. She is the author of several books and founder of Write Now Literary Virtual Book Tours, a service to help promote authors of the Christian genre and authors of clean books.
As an inspirational and motivational speaker, Paulette’s desire is to empower, influence and cultivate women to move forward while dealing with issues that hinder women from becoming all they are created to be. Her topics are biblically sound and pertinent to the needs of today’s women. Paulette is a wife, mother, grandmother and Bible teacher. Paulette has appeared on numerous radio and Television shows.
Combining enthusiasm with an energetic speaking style, audiences describe Paulette’s presentation as inspiring, enriching and encouraging. She is committed to speaking a message that is always uplifting and edifying.
As a writing coach, she is the visionary behind her own writing ministry called “Write Now,” a literary program that specializes in coaching aspiring writers in the areas of creativity, development, and publication of Christian books. She provides her listeners with tools, resources, and opportunities to help them succeed in the writing business.
Also available
by
Paulette Harper
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Paulette Harper
Also available
by
Paulette Harper
Also available
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Paulette Harper
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Living Separate Lives Page 7
