I felt my face getting red. Why does she always have to piss me off like this? She just got under my skin with everything. “That’s not true. I’ve listened to you. It’s just that when you care for somebody, you get kind of trapped by them, too.”
“I get it,” she said. “You were in love.” Her voice was patronizing and flippant.
“That’s all over now,” I said. “So do you have any details about the funeral?” I wanted to change the subject before I said something I’d regret.
“His mom told me it’s going to be at St. Mary’s, this Saturday, at nine o’clock in the morning. Reception to follow.”
“Reception?”
“Yes. A reception.”
“I went to my grandfather’s funeral,” I said. “But there wasn’t a reception—just people going over to the house. But Grams wanted to be alone. It wasn’t anything formal.”
“I doubt this will be like that,” she said. “It’s at a restaurant. It helps the family.”
“God. Seems just terrible.”
“It may help you, too. You can talk to other people—your friends. It’s part of the grieving process. Starts the healing.”
“I’ll never heal from this,” I said. “I’m never going to forget Mikey.”
“It’s not about forgetting,” she said. “It’s about remembering and celebrating. How are you feeling, by the way? You got pretty banged up, too.”
“Fuck it. I’m fine,” I said. “I’m still here. I didn’t die, so I’m perfect.”
“Don’t tell me you never got checked out?”
“What are you, my mother?”
“No. I’m just your friend.”
I could tell then that I’d hurt her. Dammit. My temper had gotten the best of me again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off like that. This is all just so stressful. Maybe I should just shut up and get off the phone.”
“If that’s what you need.”
Yep. She was hurt.
“Yeah. That’s a good idea.” We hung up. Then I went about my day. I didn’t tell Anna, because I know she would’ve scolded me, but now that I was a free agent, the only thing I could think about was Minarette.
* * * * *
“Where is this place?” Lucy asked.
“You’ve never been to the Universe?”
“No,” she said. “Not yet.”
“They converted the old Whistleville movie theater. I had no idea how big it was inside. It’s awesome.”
“Do I look okay?” Lucy checked her red hair in the mirror.
“Stunning, as always,” I said. “Being perfectly honest.”
“I don’t usually wear this much makeup,” she said. “Is it too much?”
She turned to me, and I glanced over. “You’re really pretty. You know that?”
Lucy blushed.
“Oh, thank you,” she said and turned away. Lucy had such a kind soul. I’d always had a crush on her. The timing for me to make a move was never right, though. One of us was always with someone else.
“No lies,” I said. “You’re a total fox.”
“Wow, baby, wow,” Lucy said.
I was “baby”. My heart fluttered. What the hell was I doing? I’d just broken up with Vanessa the day before, and there I was, going out, pretty much on a date, with one of her good friends. Not to mention I was really interested in the new girl in town. I’d always dug Lucy, though, and I knew deep inside that she was actually a good match for me—better than Vanessa—so I figured I’d put it out there, see if anything came of it, now that I was free. I knew that night was going to be our night. It just had to be.
We pulled into the parking lot in back of the Universe, which wasn’t packed—we’d gotten there pretty early. We got out, walked to the front of the building and went to the door. Inside, I paid for us both, and we were in.
People milled about. Music played over the sound system. “Want a drink?” I asked.
“Vodka cranberry,” Lucy said.
“Cool,” I said, and made my way to the bar. I got the drinks, grabbing a Sam Adams for myself, and went back to where I’d last seen Lucy.
She wasn’t there.
It took me a few minutes to find her. She was in the front room again, close to where we came in, talking to a girl I didn’t know.
“Here ya go,” I said, handing over her cup.
“Thanks,” she said, barely acknowledging me.
What the hell? Great. I’d gone out of my way to bring someone to the Universe, only to have her disrespect me and blow me off mere minutes after walking inside. That was definitely not part of the plan. “I’ll be inside,” I said.
“Okay,” Lucy said and kept on chatting with her new best friend. I debated asking her for money for her drink.
I went back inside the main floor area of the Universe. My beer was halfway gone. It was going to be an expensive night if I didn’t watch it and slow down.
With Lucy gone, I had nothing to distract me from thinking about Minarette. Was she there? Would she be? I hoped so. I wanted to see her, and I wanted her to see me with another attractive girl, because nothing makes a girl want you more than already being a sought-after commodity. Or so I believed, thanks to Mikey—my friend who wasn’t there any longer. I pictured him. Heard his voice. Took a big swig of beer. I didn’t want the night to be a bummer. I didn’t want to end up crying on Lucy’s shoulder—I wanted to end up kissing her.
Without thinking, I polished off my beer. I grabbed a second at the bar and found a seat at one of the little tables they had in the upper area of the club. I busied myself with checking my sites on my phone. There was a whole lot of nothing going on, as far as that went. Around me, the place was filling up pretty nicely. On the stage, there was some movement.
A part of me thought about heading back out to the lobby to find Lucy, but I wanted to be done with appearing desperate to anyone anymore. I told myself I wanted to be someone’s number one, and not an afterthought.
No more.
Two beers weren’t enough to feel a buzz for me; I made a decision that I’d have a few more beers. Catch a buzz. Fuck it. Why not?
Out of nowhere, the Universe filled up. Moments later, the house PA got really loud. The DJ played “Lowrider” at top volume. The band’s intro music. Still no Lucy. No Minarette. No one I recognized. I wished like hell Mikey were with me. He would have been if he were alive.
The curtains opened, revealing a standard drums, guitar and bass lineup. There was a big banner hung high behind the drum riser. It looked like a huge bong with long, curly hair, bloodshot eyes and a smug smile. Written in Asian-styled font around the picture?
BONG JOVI.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
They four guys walked out on stage. They looked as expected. Long hair. Slightly puffy around the middle. Red eyes.
Two band members threw things to the small crowd down front. Joints. A few beers. This made people crowd toward the stage. As soon as folks realized what was going on, even more people hurried toward the band. Great gimmick, I thought. Brilliant.
“We’re Bong Jovi,” said the guitarist into a mic. “And we’re from New Jerky. Everyone get down in front where the party is happening.”
Did he say, “New Jerky”? I thought.
They started their first song. It took a few moments for me to realize they were actually doing a Bon Jovi song, which sounded raw and punk, unlike the polished glamor of the band they were parodying. They changed the lyrics to be about smoking pot.
Darlin’, you give Kush a bad name
They weren’t particularly good on their instruments, and they were barking their way through the words. Not a great parody, either. Silly, but fun.
“Pretty awesome, eh?” It was Lucy. She’d finally made her way back to me. She gave me a sideways hug.
I was glad she was back, but still a little angry she’d abandoned me as soon as we made it inside the club.
People were lighting the joints. The Universe filled with marijuana smoke. I know it wasn’t legal, and was surprised the bouncers just stood around, acting like nothing was happening. If a regular band tried to smoke up on stage, there’d have been hell to pay. For some reason, these guys had impunity. Weird.
Next, they reworked “It’s My Life”, again making it all about smoking weed.
Smoke up before work and stay stoned all day. It’s my Bong!
Lucy was cracking up.
I kept smiling, but the joke was over for me.
“I’ve got something for you,” she shouted as she leaned into my ear.
I nodded.
She took something out from her pocket: a small plastic bag with something dark inside.
“Edibles,” she said.
She opened the bag, broke off a piece of what looked like fudge and handed it over.
“Eat it,” she said.
I did. It tasted like chocolate and dirt. Some kind of brownie.
Lucy chewed hers. She grabbed my hand. “Let me know when it hits you.”
“Okay,” I said, and washed it down with a swig of beer.
I didn’t feel anything for the next two Bong Jovi songs.
I’m a cowboy! On a steel bong I fly!
I’m wanted! Dead or Real High!
Jeez. They weren’t going to win any Grammys.
Then I made to take a sip of my beer, and my arm made blurry trails. My lower lip felt made from rubber.
“Lucy,” I said. She didn’t hear me. I’m not even sure if any sound escaped my mouth. The floor spun. The music turned to mush, and then it turned into the most brilliant music I’d ever heard. Every note seemed to last forever. The singer looked like a god to me. I wanted to be him. The crowd loved him. He acted with complete abandon. Everyone was high. I was high. I wanted to be with them. I grabbed Lucy’s wrist and pulled her. She laughed.
We made it into the pit and were immediately engulfed in pot smoke. My throat was so dry. Lucky for me, the song ended, and they were handing out Buds. I got one. It took all my mental faculties to work the tab and open it. Taking a sip was as challenging as prepping for a bungee jump. Most of the beer made it into my mouth; a good portion made it on my chin, neck and chest. At least I was drinking, though. I was so dry.
“You’re freakin’ high, aren’t you?” Lucy said. She was grinning. I had never thought she looked prettier than at that moment. I could see all kinds of colors in her hair. It was predominantly red, but there were also strands of blonde threaded throughout. She had freckles on her cheeks. Her eyes glistened. It was my time. I knew it. Felt it with every atom of my being.
I went in for a kiss.
And…
Lucy dodged me and put her head on my shoulder. At first, I thought she was crying, because everything was happening slowly. I quickly realized, though, that she was laughing. “Not like this,” she said. “I don’t want to do this for the first time when you’re high. We need to find you a place to sit down. Silly.”
I think I said, “Okay,” but I’m not completely sure. We found our way to one of the benches that lined the side of the floor, and Lucy sat me down. My head was spinning something fierce. It was all I could do to sit upright. Everything was blurry, but then became clear—super clear—for several moments at a time.
“I’m going to get a drink,” she said. “Want something?”
I nodded. Couldn’t get my mouth to move. Could barely keep my eyes open. I don’t think I’d ever been higher in my life.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said. “Beer?”
Pretty sure I nodded.
“Hey? Do you have any cash?”
I reached behind me, which seemed to take an hour, slipped out my wallet, and handed it to her.
She regarded it for a moment and then looked at me. “You want me to open this?”
It’s possible I nodded.
After she unfolded my wallet, she slipped out a twenty. “This okay?”
“Yup. I think.”
“I feel bad leaving you all alone like this,” she said. “I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She showed me my wallet. “I’m going to hang on to this until later. Safekeeping. And your keys, too. It should wear off enough for you to be human again in an hour. Don’t worry.”
Lucy gave me a quick hug. Did she kiss the top of my head? Possible.
I turned my attention back to Bong Jovi. Their music blended into one long, slushy mess. I couldn’t distinguish what they were singing, or what notes they were playing, or even figure out which instrument was playing what. They sounded like a tsunami of sound—a big, noisy wave. I could tell it was loud, and my ears tingled a bit, but the sound was distant. It was as though I were a tiny version of myself, stuck inside my head, looking out, watching and feeling from a distance. There was a long delay between when I wanted my body to do something and when it did it, and it didn’t always do it right. I tried to lift my arm to touch the top of my head—you know, to make sure it was still there—but my arm only managed to make it halfway. I realized I was sitting on the bench with my arm out in front of me, and looked ridiculous. It took about a year for my arm to respond to my asking it to go back down.
I tried shutting my eyes for a moment, to see if that would refresh or restart my brain.
Immediately, I wanted to collapse and go to sleep.
Don’t do that!
Someone will mess with you.
If the bouncers see you this high, they’ll throw you out. Maybe the cops will see you. Jail. Worst time ever. Can’t miss Mikey’s funeral.
Mikey.
Fuck.
How can no one see me?
How can I play this off?
Glasses.
My sunglasses were in my pocket.
Spending what felt like an hour to command my distant hand to retrieve them and put them on, I almost took out one of my own eyes with the stem in the process. Somehow I eventually placed them correctly on my face.
Everything got darker.
At stage right, behind the bass player, I saw Vanessa. She was with some guys I didn’t recognize.
She spotted me. Pointed at me. The two guys she stood with looked at me. Then she whispered something in one of their ears. He kept looking at me and nodded. Not laughing, just a nod. Then, behind him, I saw Damian. He looked right at me, too.
Oh, fuck.
Damian tapped the same guy on the shoulder and then pointed at me. They shared a few words and then were gone.
The murderous bastards. What the hell are they doing out? I wondered if I should call the cops and let them know their main suspects were hanging out in plain sight at the Universe. They could catch them pretty easily. The sons of bitches that had murdered Mikey. Not a care in the world. Acting like everything was fine. Hunky dory. All that.
I went to reach for my phone in my jacket pocket, but two things stopped me. It’d be obvious what I was doing, and I didn’t want to risk retaliation. And practically, I couldn’t talk. The edible Lucy had given me had really KO’d me.
I panicked. Not outwardly, but inside my head. Damian knew I was there. He knew I was the primary witness to him and his crew killing Mikey—knew I was Mikey’s best friend. Heck, they’d attacked me, too. I was a threat. I was on his turf. His posse. They’d probably try something.
Then light raced past me.
Minarette.
Dressed all in white. Her long blonde hair flowed. Her steps, graceful. She turned to me for a split second that froze in my mind. Her smile was like looking up at the sun in the eye of a hurricane. Please don’t go. Please just stay there so I can look at you forever. I don’t want the storm to come. I can’t take i
t. I can’t.
She was gone as quickly as she had come, vanished inside the crowd. I looked and could see her every so often. Glimpses of her hair. Of her smile. Of her undeniable aura.
At some point, the music had changed. I’d missed that—I was way too high and way too focused on Minarette. An electronic beat had replaced the live drums, and the chords were being played by loops on a laptop instead of a Stratocaster through a Marshall amp. Weird. How’d that slip past? Where the hell was Lucy with the beers? I figured I should move around and try and find her.
Standing up from the bench took all the strength I had. The room spun. Strike that. It didn’t just spin; it rotated round and round like I was inside a hamster toy. I put my arms out to try and balance myself. I must have looked ridiculous.
Where in hell was Lucy? She’d gotten me into the situation, feeding me way-too-strong edibles, so she should be getting me out.
Crap. If Mikey had been with me, I could have counted on him to watch my back.
And the one time he’d needed me to watch his…
Goddamn it. Where was I? Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was sure it was Lucy who’d found me and had our beers.
It was not.
Damian scowled at me.
The music melted my brain—melted everything around me.
Here was the fucking murderer of my best friend, up in my face. His boys were next to him. Of course they were. I recognized them as the pair who’d been after Mikey. They’d probably delivered his fatal blows.
I wanted to say something. I wanted to hit them. I wanted to lay into them with all I had. I couldn’t. My mouth moved, but I’m pretty sure my bottom lip stretched to the floor like a pound of molten Play-Doh. I tried to move, but the Universe was spinning like a top. I tried to look around, to see if there was someone who could help me. There was no one.
Wait.
There was someone. In the background. Watching. Smirking.
Vanessa.
I looked at her. Tried to mouth “Help” or some such pathetic thing.
Just as I did, Damian was up in my face. He looked younger than I remembered. He’d kept his head shaved because he’d been losing his hair. Impossible as it seemed, and I knew I was baked, but Damian’s hairline had increased. I saw thick stubble growing where there’d been none.
Ghost Heart Page 6
