by Emma Quinn
All of a sudden, a wonderful picture flew into my brain. One of me and Kevin hanging out and laughing, getting to know one another and having a lot of fun… fun that soon turns into something serious. All thoughts of a fling turn into a genuine romance, and I find myself yearning for the love that I haven’t wanted for a very long time. I want something even better and more intense than what I shared with Tyler, because really that wasn’t real at all. That was just something dumb and childish.
“Yeah, sounds great,” I muttered while barely listening anymore. “I like that plan.”
“So, we’re all set? I’m Dimitri by the way.” A skinnier guy that didn’t seem to belong on the team shook my hand. “I’m the manager of the players and I’m the one who’s running this project so you and I will be spending a lot of time together getting things right…”
“But not as much time as you will with me!” Angelo said while slinging his arm over my shoulder in a playful manner. “Well, at least for the first month anyway.”
“I’m going next!” Kevin practically yelled. “I want to be the next Player of the Month.”
As the two boys argued playfully, I felt so excitable that Kevin seemed so keen to spend time with me. That had to be a good sign, didn’t it? The thing between us that was supposed to happen last year was finally about to come to a head and I couldn’t wait. Well, next month. This month I had Angelo to contend with which would probably be a whole lot of fun. He was a great guy too. He seemed like he had a lot of niceness deep inside of him, it would be fine being with him.
“Okay well that sounds great.” I nodded slowly. “When do you want me to start?”
“Pretty much right away,” Dimitri said. “And as much as you can as well. Obviously I want the videos edited in a way that shows them in their best light, but yeah if you get it all the footage that you can that would be great. We can figure out the details afterwards.” As I paused and waited for instruction, Dimitri chuckled at me. “You don’t have to start right now. I’ll take your number and call you when we want to get started. Thank you, Faye, that means a lot. I think we’ve made a good match.”
He handed me his cell phone so I punched in my digits, wondering where the hell this was going to lead. Usually I had an emotion relating to an upcoming project, I would be able to tell which direction this was going to head in, but with this I had absolutely no idea at all.
As I left the room, I still felt a little numb, a bit like I was floating on air. I couldn’t believe how crazy well that went. It was better than I’d even hoped. Now I had the job and the chance to work with Kevin too. Not right away, but that was probably for the best. I could get into the swing of things with Angelo before I connected with him on a one on one scale. I could relax a little more.
“What’s going on?” Tia asked as I wandered back into my dorm room. “You look stunned.”
I hadn’t told her where I’d just been because I wasn’t sure how well it would work but now I felt truly comfortable with revealing all. “Oh, well I just applied for a position working on the football team YouTube page, and they offered me it.” I chuckled loudly, knowing how mad that sounded.
“Wow, you’re going to be filming all the games?” Tia screwed up her nose in disgust. “That sounds awful. The most boring thing that I’ve ever heard in my life. Why would you want to?”
I gave her a one shouldered shrug. “Because it’s such a large platform, it’s huge and will look great on my resume. Plus it isn’t exactly filming games, it’s more personal documentaries of the players. I’ll be following one of them around for a month and posting videos of them doing their day to day stuff to show off how they have become such amazing football players.”
“That sounds utterly awful. The football team are a bunch of arrogant idiots.” Tia was being very dismissive, which I could understand since we made a big effort to keep out of the popular people’s way, just to make life easier. “Which one will you be working with first?”
“Erm, the captain. Angelo…” I clicked my tongue as I thought. “I don’t know his surname…”
“Urgh, Angelo? He’s the worst.” I was shocked by this, I couldn’t believe that the lovely Angelo that I met the other day and again today had brought out such a strong reaction in my level headed friend. “Why the hell would you work with him? He’s such a jerk.”
“Why is he a jerk?” I needed to know what had caused Tia’s reaction. “What’s he done?”
“One time at a party earlier on in the year he spilled his drink all over me and he didn’t even say sorry or anything. I had to leave early to get changed.” I gulped down, remembering that night. I didn’t realize that it was Angelo at the time because I didn’t know him. “And also he’s known for being a massive player. He always has another girl on his arm. I hate guys like that.”
That was another thing I completely got because Tia had been heart broken by a guy just like that, in a very similar way to me. I couldn’t argue with her one bit because of that. We’d both been victims of the player types so it was no wonder she felt so strongly. Much as I wanted to defend Angelo and I wanted to tell her that he’d been really nice to me, I didn’t. It wasn’t the right thing to do.
“Yeah, well it’s only a job anyway, so I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’ll just look awesome on my resume. I’m not too worried about the players in the team because they will just be subject matters to me. I’ll be filming them, putting the videos online, and that’s that. There won’t be anything to it.”
“That’s that?” Tia gave me a look. “That’s that is it? And what about when it comes to Kevin?”
“Oh right…” I forgot that I told Tia all about Kevin at the time. “Yeah well that will be what it is. I don’t know…” I could feel a heat burning on my cheeks. “I don’t know if I even like him anymore.” There was a stirring in my underwear that I shuffled to avoid. “He’s just… yeah whatever.”
“Oh my God, you’re going to be married before the year is out. This is crazy.”
I laughed and shook my head at that remark, deciding to ignore it. My imagination was already getting the better of me when it came to me and Kevin, I didn’t need it to get any worse than it already was. My heart fluttered, my stomach churned upside down, I was an emotional wreck.
“Well I don’t want to…” I paused as I heard my cell phone bleeping. “Oh hang on.” I glanced at the screen, seeing that I was about to head out to one of the crazy football parties tonight. “I guess my position is about to begin. I’m off out tonight. Dimitri just messaged me so I better sort my equipment out.”
5
Angelo
A
fter scoring the winning goal at the football game I was flying higher than air, I felt so good about myself that I couldn’t wait to let off some steam. Plenty of people had caught the end of the game on their cameras so it would be up on YouTube tonight for the world to see. Hopefully some football scouts would see too and my phone would eventually start ringing. I kept waiting for that day to happen but it hadn’t just yet. I had time, but it still felt like that deadline was looming.
“Great game,” one of my teammates, Billy, clapped me on the back and said. “Good goal.”
“Thanks, man.” I ripped off my top and prepared to step into the shower to wash off the sheen of sweat that covered me. “We played well as a team. Looking forward to the party tonight.”
“I thought it was a bit preemptive of Dimitri to arrange a celebration party when we hadn’t even won yet, but it looks like he was right again. I should trust that dude so much more!”
“You know the party is only an excuse for the filming to begin, don’t you?” Kevin interjected. “He wants to get this whole Player of the Month thing up and running as soon as possible.”
I snapped my head around and stared at Kevin with wide shocked eyes. “What the fuck are you on about? There’s no way that’s starting today. We only hired Faye earlier on. She doesn’t want to begin today.” I couldn’t deal
with that bullshit, not while I was trying to let loose. “You aren’t right.”
“I am.” Kevin furrowed his eyebrows at me. “Did you not hear Dimitri say it before? We’re going to be doing a lot more of these before he gets bored of the idea. He wants us to look like we do all kinds of events where we look like we’re having fun and getting along.” Kevin rolled his eyes dramatically at me. “It’s all bullshit, but it’s the best way to keep Dimitri happy.”
Anger burned in my chest as it became really clear that Kevin wasn’t winding me up. He actually meant it, Dimitri planned for Faye to be there with her camera tonight focusing on me. As if I didn’t have enough bullshit going on in my life right now, I still hadn’t fully recovered from the emotional breakdown I had when hooking up with Marissa recently. I planned to get over that slump and forget all about the weirdness that scanned through my brain by picking up someone new.
“Dimitri,” I yelled angrily. “Dimitri, get here you little snake. I need to talk to you.”
I heard scuffling coming through the room, and guys parting to let him get to me. It was obvious that I was pissed and no one wanted to get in the way of that. My heart thumped painfully in my chest as boiling hot blood raced through my body as I waited for him to get to me.
“What the fuck is going on with this bullshit, Dimitri?” I threw my hands up in the air in frustration. “I heard that you’re planning to have Faye filming the party.”
“Yeah… I told you that earlier on. That’s why we’re having the party… I don’t see what the problem is?” He folded his arms defensively across his chest. “You need to do stuff like this. It needs to be really real for the audience. They need to know that you have an active social life.”
“This isn’t real,” I exploded. “This is so fake. You’re creating a party to film and I just want to have fun tonight, to blow off some steam. I don’t want to be worrying about being watched.”
I wanted to reach out and grab Dimitri around the throat to strangle him, but of course I couldn’t. This didn’t really warrant violence anyway, I just didn’t like it. I might have been mad but I didn’t ever actually lash out. I wasn’t ever one of the ones in a fight over some girl.
“She can stay for a bit, but I don’t want her around for long,” I warned Dimitri. “I have just played an intense game, now I need to have some fun. It isn’t fair for you to wreck that for me.”
“This isn’t really just about you… it’s all of us that need to do this…”
“Urgh!” The rage got the better of me and I balled up my fists, but still I didn’t do anything. “I’m sure you’ll get the same reaction from everyone else as you have me. It’s so lame.”
Dimitri made a wise choice at that moment and he turned to walk away. I hadn’t really changed anything, but at least Faye wouldn’t be around for long now. I would still have time to find some random chick to have fun with. I needed to go for someone different, hopefully someone that I hadn’t even spoke to before because clearly going back again and again to the same person wasn’t helping. It was probably that screwing me up, making me think that maybe I might want more.
“Right, fuck it.,” I muttered to myself as I grabbed hold of a fresh towel to take with me to the shower. “Get dressed, get this bullshit filming out the way then have a good time.”
“That’s the spirit,” Kevin chuckled, seemingly forgetting that he was going to be next for this torture. Voluntary as well! “I’m sure it’ll all be fine. Nothing to worry about at all.”
My mood remained sour, it didn’t matter who talked to me and tried to drag me out of it. I was in a foul place, which probably wasn’t conducive to what Dimitri wanted, but maybe if I screwed up he would see that in the future filming had to be on my terms or it just wouldn’t work.
Actually, that wasn’t a terrible idea. Maybe messing things up would help me in the long run…
The music pumped loudly threw my veins, almost rattling my ear drums as it went. Usually I liked the thumping beats, they got me in the mood for a really good night, but today I couldn’t get into it. I wasn’t sure if it was Marissa and the way that she was dancing with Billy in front of me to wind me up. I knew that it was for my benefit because she continually shot me looks as she did it. This was the sort of crazy shit that I expected from Cathy, not Marissa. Maybe she wasn’t as cool as I thought.
“Will you smile?” Dimitri hissed at me. “Remember you’re on camera here. This is supposed to be the first video exposing more of the real you. You don’t want to be seen as a grumpy bastard.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” I muttered childishly while slugging back my drink. I didn’t care about Dimitri and his plan. “This is your thing, not mine. I really think that you need to remember that.”
“You agreed to it.” He sounded bewildered. “You were all for it and also you were the one who was made keen to hire Faye to do the job. Now she’s awkwardly in the corner trying to get some good shots of you and you really aren’t giving her anything. You’re being really dull.”
I snapped my eyes over to Faye realizing that she looked really uncomfortable. She had the shoulders raised, shifty eyes look of someone that hadn’t ever been to a college party before. I suppose that made sense since she was clearly a more studious girl, but it seemed strange to me that she didn’t know how to socialize at all. Like even a little bit. Even as people approached her she seemed awkward.
I felt bad for dragging her into this, but I guess I didn’t realize quite how invasive it was going to feel. I needed to put us both out of our misery by sending her away.
“I’ll sort this out,” I grunted to Dimitri as I stood up. “Just you wait and see.”
Dimitri made a noise like he wasn’t quite done with me, but I had nothing left that I wanted to say to him. I made a beeline for Faye, ignoring absolutely everyone on the way to her, including Marissa who had now upped her game more than anything. She making out with and dry humping Billy like there was no tomorrow, but I didn’t care. It irritated me, but I wasn’t bothered.
“Faye, I think it’s time for you to go now,” I said with a shaky angry voice. “This whole film thing really isn’t working today. I don’t want any of this to end up on YouTube. I’m just done.”
“Oh.” Her camera fell down and her whole expression sunk. I could tell that I’d hurt her, but that didn’t change anything. I needed to remain strong to get the hell rid of her. “Right. I see. It’s just that Dimitri told me that this was supposed to be my first day and that it was important…”
“Yeah well fuck Dimitri,” I hissed back, taking my anger towards him out on the wrong person. “I don’t give a shit about what he said to you. I don’t want to do this today. I wasn’t warned about it in advance and I’m not in the mood today. I just want to have some fun.”
“Can’t I just get five minutes of you doing something interesting?” she pleaded with me. “Just for an introductory piece? I really don’t want to let Dimitri down, I need to keep this job.”
“Look, Faye…” I tugged my hands through my hair as frustration got the better of me. “I don’t mean to be a dick but I want to get wasted and hook up with someone. I don’t want that on film.”
She parted her lips, trying to argue with me, but instead she leaned across and looked over my shoulder to where Dimitri was sitting. I turned to see him mouthing furiously at her, telling her not to go which only wound me up further. He didn’t seem to give a shit about my feelings at all.
“Don’t pay any attention to Dimitri,” I insisted. “He’s an asshole, I don’t want to do this so I’m not going to. Whatever he says, my opinion won’t change. I want you to go.”
Faye’s eyes welled up, and I could tell that I’d gone too far. I wanted to apologize, but I also needed her to leave and if I had to cruel to make that happen, then so be it. I made all my insides squirm painfully but I stood my ground and I stared her down, internally begging her to just go.
“Please, let me just do this. You do
n’t understand how much I need this position.”
I shook my head, refusing to back down. I needed Dimitri to see that he couldn’t control what I did. “No, I’ll do an interview with you tomorrow instead, yeah? In the afternoon.”
“I can’t do tomorrow afternoon,” she practically whispered back to me. “I have an extra credit photography class. I don’t want to blow you off but it’s the only time I can do.”
I rolled my eyes, wondering why this was so difficult. “In the evening them. Whatever.”
“Yeah okay.” She wiped a stray tear from underneath her eyes. “Can you explain it to Dimitri?”
“Sure yeah, I’ll explain it to him in a way that he will understand!”
With that she ran from the room, leaving me alone with only my ice cold guilt for comfort. I acted wrongly then, I did something incredibly hurtful. Somehow I would have to find a way to make it up to her. I didn’t know how, but I’d been an asshole and I needed to be better… but not today.
6
Faye
I
stirred in my bed as the morning light streamed through the window, my face almost sticking to the pillow with the tears that had been streaming down my cheeks on and off all night long. Angelo’s shockingly bad behavior had me sobbing hard. I couldn’t believe that he had spoken to me like that with absolutely no consideration for my feelings or work at all. It was unbelievable.
It seemed that everyone was right about him after all, Tia’s words hadn’t come from spite or been influenced by her own experiences, Angelo was a douche and I had been too blind to see it. It was difficult to fit him in the same mold as the nice guy I met in the library, but it was time to start doing it. The nice person was probably the fake one, the player who shot me down so he could ‘get wasted and hook up’ was the real Angelo and I didn’t like him one bit.
