by Maya Banks
“I and only I bear the responsibility for what was done to Evangeline,” Drake said in a low voice. “And you know as well as I do that Evangeline doesn’t have a vengeful bone in her body. She’s sweet to the core and has the purest, most honest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. She won’t hate you. Only me. And that’s my cross to bear. None of you will suffer for my arrogance and stupidity.”
He paused, pondering the conversation, lowering his head in thought, so much rushing through his mind. God, had it been that simple? Had he been so stupid, so wrapped up in keeping Evangeline from the world out of fear? But no, that was only part of it. The selfish part of him hadn’t wanted to share her with anyone, not even his brothers, though it had been necessary.
“You’re right,” Drake said tiredly. “Goddamn it, you’re all right and it’s something I should have thought of.”
His tone was full of self-derision. He who was always in control of any situation. Every possibility accounted for. But Evangeline had turned his carefully ordered life upside down and when it came to her, he didn’t think clearly, rationally, and if he didn’t get his head back in the game, it would get them both killed. His brothers too.
Silas cleared his throat and once again, heads turned in surprise. He’d already broken his characteristic silence once, and now it appeared he had more to say.
“There’s more you’ve done . . . not right,” he said, amending what he had been going to say, but the words floated in the room as if they had indeed been spoken.
There’s more you’ve done wrong.
His gaze met Drake’s unflinchingly. Silas was not afraid of Drake. Drake considered him an equal in every sense of the word. Every bit as lethal, if not more. No, Silas didn’t fear Drake, and Drake respected him for that.
There was a pronounced hush over the room as everyone waited in anticipation of what Silas was daring to do. Suggest that Drake had been wrong about many things. Not even some of his closest dared what Silas dared.
“You never made her secure about her place in your world—your life,” Silas said in his quiet tone.
“The hell I didn’t,” Drake said savagely, but he didn’t like the undertone of defensiveness in his own voice. Guilt. Because Silas had struck a chord.
“You come to her after work and you leave before she awakens. You send one of us to take her where she needs to go, to see to her needs. That’s your job, Drake. She’s your woman and you’ve given her no reason to believe she matters as more than a body to warm your bed, a submissive to your dominance. She exists solely for your convenience.”
Rage nearly blinded Drake, and only the fact that Silas had scored a huge point prevented him from launching himself at the man he called his executioner. A man who would likely give Drake the fight of his life, because the two men were closely matched, though Drake strongly suspected Silas had an edge.
“If you find her, if she will listen to you, if she will forgive you or at least allow you the chance to make up for the horrible injustice done to her, you’re going to have to prove with actions and not just words that she is more to you than a woman who will warm your bed for a few nights and be sent on her way with an expensive gift for her time.”
“You know goddamn well she hates taking anything from me,” Drake snarled. “Gifts, jewelry, clothes.”
“And why do you suppose that is?” Maddox said, interrupting, his stare penetrating.
“Because she only wanted me,” Drake whispered.
And suddenly everything Silas said made sense. He closed his eyes because so much more made sense to him now. Evangeline wanted him. Just him. His time. His heart. The one thing he hadn’t—couldn’t—give her. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t show her that she did mean something to him. Spend more time with her instead of pawning her off on one of his men every day.
Then he swore and wiped a hand over his face. “There are other ways to hurt her in order to get to me. Her girls, even if they did toss her. No one else will know that. Her family, her mother and father, whom she’d do, hell, has done, everything for. They’ll have to be protected too because if someone kidnapped her friends or family, Evangeline would be distraught and would beg me to do whatever I had to do to get them back.”
He grimaced and closed his eyes. “And I could never deny her anything except when it comes to her safety. Her happiness is first and foremost and if someone did take her loved ones, I would be helpless because I could never look Evangeline in the eyes again if I stood by and did nothing, refusing to give in to extortion and blackmail, something I would have never even considered in the past.”
Some of his men looked dumbfounded. They made no effort to hide their shock, though those closest to him didn’t look surprised at all. There was respect in their eyes as was their equal determination to keep Evangeline—and those she loved—safe.
Hatcher shifted position, his look one of unease. He opened his mouth more than once only to shut it and press his lips firmly together as if squelching what it was he wanted to say.
“What’s on your mind, Hatch?” Drake demanded.
Hatcher sighed. “Christ. Don’t take this the wrong way. I like Evangeline. She’s sweet. Too damn sweet and innocent for her own good, and I don’t want her to get caught up in a mess of our making and get hurt or killed any more than any of you do.”
“But?” Drake pressed, knowing Hatch had a lot more on his mind than extolling Evangeline’s virtues.
Hatcher’s unease grew and sweat glistened on his brow. “Just hear me out,” he muttered, repeating the same request Justice had made moments earlier. “You’re in deep with her already. You’ve never even considered keeping a woman this long, much less making her your queen and making sure everyone in the world knows it. Maybe . . . maybe it’s better that way.”
“What way would that be?”
Drake’s voice was a whip through the room, coiling and snapping with fury because he had a good idea of where his man was going with this, and if he was right, it was going to take Silas, Maddox and Justice to keep him from killing Hatcher.
“To make a clean break,” Hatcher said, his gaze hardening. “A break that has already been made and is probably best left alone. She makes you vulnerable. Hell, she’s already made you vulnerable. You’re in too deep, Drake. You don’t see it, but the rest of us do, and you’re going to get yourself killed and maybe us with you. She’s going to end up costing you everything.”
There were mixed reactions, from looks of what the fuck to cold stares that would melt stone and then absolute fury, from Justice, Maddox, Silas, Hartley, Jax and Thane, their faces, eyes, the set of their jaws.
“You’re already making, or planning to make, concessions you would have never allowed before. Maybe you should consider letting her go instead of making her your queen. Get rid of her, break it off and make it well known you’re finished with her and have no attachment to her whatsoever. It’s what you’ve always done in the past. It’s what you’ve already done, so leave it alone. You’ve never gotten as emotionally involved with a woman and you damn sure haven’t turned over the entire goddamn city looking for one who clearly doesn’t want to be found. If you want her safe, then that is the best way you can do it because no one, especially after you ripped her apart in front of the Luconis, will even think twice about her. But going public with her? You’d be throwing her to the goddamn wolves and you know it.”
Drake stared so coldly at Hatcher that the temperature became frigid in the interior of the office. The others were visibly uncomfortable because they knew that Hatch, as well-meaning as he was attempting to be, had just fucked up. But then he didn’t know Evangeline. Had spent only a few moments in her presence while the others had spent a lot of time with her and understood only too well Drake’s obsession with her and that he would never simply “let her go.”
“Evangeline is my life,” Drake said, his rage mounting with every breath. “And if I lose her, I’m dead anyway. If you ever suggest that I get rid
of her again, I’ll rip you apart with my bare hands. You are to speak of and to her with absolute respect. You are to treat her with the utmost regard, more so than myself. Evangeline will be your—and our—number one priority. Her happiness, her safety, comfort. Her every need will be met by all of us. And we will extend to her friends and family the same courtesy and protection that we give to Evangeline herself.
“The most important priority in my life is Evangeline and her happiness and well-being, and I expect—no, I demand—that every man who allies himself with me swears to protect her and be willing to give his life for her just as he would for me. And if there is ever a choice between me and Evangeline, there will be no question. Evangeline is to be saved at all costs and I am charging you, my brothers, with ensuring her safety and well-being if I am no longer around to do it. She is never to want or lack for anything. Are we understood?”
Hatcher’s eyes reflected his shock at Drake’s vehemence. After a prolonged moment of silence, he finally managed a hoarse “yes” accompanied by a clipped nod of his head. By the looks on more than one of Drake’s men’s faces, Drake wasn’t the only one contemplating beating the hell out of Hatcher for his “input.” Drake made a mental note to never have Hatcher assigned to Evangeline without one of the others with him. Not until he could be sure of Hatcher’s absolute loyalty to Evangeline.
Drake had had enough and was thoroughly sick to his soul over the idea that one of his men had actually suggested that he allow Evangeline to think the worst and that he’d washed his hands of her. The mere thought made him physically ill.
He gestured for them to leave but when he looked up, Maddox, Silas and Justice still stood before him, regarding him solemnly.
For a long moment there was silence, and then Maddox said quietly, “She’s the one.”
Drake didn’t pretend to misunderstand what Maddox had stated. He knew damn well what Maddox was inferring. Drake had always avoided commitment and relationships like the plague. He’d never trusted anyone but those gathered in his office now, much less a woman. He’d vowed never to become emotionally involved with any woman, not only because he had yet to meet a woman who stirred him enough to want one but also because of the danger and risk posed to her for no other reason than whose arm she was on.
Now? Yeah, Evangeline was the one.
But instead of answering the question with a simple yes or no, he simply leveled a stare at them, one filled with determination and fire uncharacteristic of his usual cold, aloof features.
“I’m never letting her go. Even if it means tying her to my damn bed every night. If she ever wants out, then she’s going to have to convince me that I’m not who or what she wants and that the lifestyle I demand isn’t what she wants, and she’s going to have to tell me she isn’t happy. But she’ll never want for another thing in her life. I’ll make damn sure of that.”
“There will never be another like her for you,” Silas said as though refuting that Evangeline would ever leave. But there was something else in Silas’s piercing gaze. Perhaps he sought to know just how deep Drake’s feelings for Evangeline ran. Silas seemed so sure of Evangeline, that she’d forgive him. But maybe Silas worried that Drake would betray her again?
“No,” Drake said flatly, in response to Silas’s statement. “How could there be? You only taste that kind of perfection once in your life, and if you’re too stupid to hang on to something that good and bust your ass to make damn sure you keep it, then you don’t deserve it.”
He lifted his gaze to Silas, anger and determination surging through his veins. He didn’t owe him or any of them a damn thing and yet this . . . Evangeline . . . and what she meant to him was too important to fuck up by being anything but blunt. There could be no doubt or he couldn’t be assured of their complete and utter commitment to his search. He swept his eyes over Maddox and Justice, including them in his impassioned, angry statement.
“Get this in your heads. Evangeline is everything to me. There is no Drake Donovan without Evangeline. If something ever happens to her, and especially if something happens to her because of me, I won’t survive it. I won’t want to. She gives me purpose. A reason to live. A reason to get up in the morning and face a new day. You don’t get that kind of light only to have it extinguished and hope to ever recover from it.”
His men seemed stunned, not over his feelings for Evangeline, because they shared them to a degree, but because he’d just laid bare his soul to them all. Understanding quickly followed their surprise while Silas merely gave a clipped nod as if satisfied that Drake had just passed some test he was unaware had been put to him.
Well good. Drake had gotten through to them and now that he had, he knew they would die for Evangeline. They’d put themselves between her and any threat because they knew if anything happened to Evangeline, they’d lose Drake too.
“We will protect her—and you—with our lives,” Silas said.
Maddox and Justice repeated Silas’s vow, purpose and determination now blazing in their eyes.
They’d all climbed their way up from nothing. They all had nebulous pasts, nothing given to them. Everything they had, they’d fought for. They were family, all pledged to one another by a bond stronger than any blood bond would ever be.
And now for the first time, they would be widening their intimate circle to include . . . a woman. Drake’s woman. None of them had ever involved themselves with any woman long enough for it to be considered a semblance of a relationship. They sated their needs, always ensuring that the woman was cared for, pleasured in return, and they were generous when they cut them loose. But no woman had ever even threatened to crack the hard shells around their hearts.
Until now.
Until Evangeline.
Part of his men felt envy, and part of them felt pity because now Drake had a hell of a lot more at stake than before. Before he had only himself and his brothers to worry about. He was feared and revered. No one dared to strike at him. But now Drake had a weakness and it could well be his ultimate downfall. His being impervious to any weakness had been what had made it impossible for his enemies to strike at him. Because Drake had no one or nothing he gave one fuck about. Now? He had a woman who was his entire world. And God help the fool who ever tried to put so much as a scratch on Evangeline because Drake would appear like an avenging angel or the scariest demon from hell and wreak savage vengeance on whoever wronged his Evangeline. And he would do it personally. He wouldn’t have Silas go after the bastard. It would be too personal. Drake would be unstoppable and would tear apart anyone who ever hurt his woman.
2
“Mr. Donovan! Mr. Donovan!”
Drake nearly growled in frustration at the unwanted intrusion as he stalked toward the elevator. It was three in the morning and he and his men had spent the day scouring the city, yet another hopeless day of searching for Evangeline that had come to nothing.
He whirled on the doorman and some of what he was feeling must have been reflected in his expression because the doorman recoiled and stopped in his tracks a few feet from where Drake stood at the now-open elevator.
“Whatever it is, it can wait,” Drake snapped. “I am not to be disturbed.”
For a moment, the doorman seemed to grapple with indecision, and in disgust, Drake turned and walked into the elevator. The doorman lunged forward, holding out his hand to prevent the doors from closing.
“It’s about Evangeline, uh, I mean Miss Hawthorn.”
At the mention of her name, Drake stepped off the elevator and grasped the older man by the lapels of his coat.
“What about Evangeline?” Drake growled. “Do you know anything?”
The man’s face was gray and his eyes flickered downward in guilt. What the fuck?
But then the doorman had seen Drake leave the building just a few minutes after he’d arrived with the Luconis. He sucked in a breath. Oh dear God. How stupid could Drake be? The doorman would have to have seen Evangeline leave as well. And the condition
she was in when she’d left.
The doorman liked Evangeline. Had always had a friendly word for her, as Evangeline had for him. There had been genuine affection between the two, but Drake had never paid it any notice because Evangeline inspired that in everyone she met.
But what if . . .
The dread was crawling more insidiously through Drake’s body as his grip tightened and then finally relaxed, freeing the man to take a few stumbling steps backward.
It had never occurred to Drake to question the man. He’d been too frantic to find Evangeline, turning the entire goddamn city over like a deranged madman. What if the answer had been here all along and Evangeline had had to be out there somewhere, alone, desperate, hungry and devastated while Drake wasted time chasing all the wrong leads?
“Do you care for her?” the doorman asked in a nearly accusatory tone.
Oh yes, this man knew something and he was mad as hell over what Drake had done to Evangeline. And now Drake had to tread very carefully because if he gave this man any reason to believe he intended to harm Evangeline, he’d never get any information from the doorman Evangeline had taken under her wing. Just as she’d done with everyone else she came into contact with.
“Very much,” Drake said in a soft, dangerous voice. “Do you know where she is?”
“I saw her that night,” the doorman said in a bitter voice.
His eyes still reflected accusation as though he found Drake solely responsible for Evangeline’s departure. Drake was. Absolutely. But how much did this man know? Did he know where Evangeline was now?
“There was a terrible misunderstanding,” Drake said, nearly strangled by baring his personal issues to a complete stranger. But for Evangeline, to have her back in his arms, he’d do anything. “None of which was Evangeline’s doing. She wasn’t supposed to be here.”
