First Comes Love

by Heather Heyford

  “Chloé thaid I get to thit with her,” said Travis.

  “Annnnd,” said Shay, “guess what else? You know how I always wanted to be a cosmetologist?”

  Alex nodded.

  “I changed my mind. I decided to become a teacher.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “I’m going to be a psychologist,” said Chloé importantly.

  “Me too,” said Travis. He frowned at Chloé. “Whath a thychologith?”

  “What about you, Ty?” Alex asked. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

  “A cop,” Ty said shyly, “like you.” Suddenly embarrassed, he buried his pink face in Alex’s arm.

  Alex’s heart swelled. “C’mere, you,” he said, tucking Tyler beneath his arm, giving him a giant squeeze.

  Tyler’s arms reached around his neck.

  Not to be left out, Travis fell into Alex’s lap, and Chloé embraced him from the opposite side.

  Even Shay sidled over, perched on the arm of his chair, and touched her temple against his.

  At the sound of footsteps, he swallowed the baseball-size lump in his throat and glanced at the stairs to see a wavy Kerry with Ella’s sleep-dazed head on her shoulder and her thumb in her mouth, observing him with a face that radiated love.

  Not ready? What had he been thinking? This was everything he’d ever wanted.

  “What would you think of having a sleepover?” Kerry was addressing the kids, but her eyes were glued to Alex’s.

  Cheers erupted as the kids fell all over one another in their enthusiasm.

  “Yay! Yeah, let’s! A sleepover!” shouted the girls.

  “Can we? Huh?” the boys pleaded, tugging on Alex’s shirtsleeve.

  A smile grew on Alex’s face. “How can I say no?”

  From that moment on, whether they were rearranging the attic, hauling a bunch of old junk out to the trash, or making pizza, he and Kerry were more acutely aware of each other’s presence than ever before. The afternoon seemed to stretch on for days, the blasted kids never letting them out of their sight. They had an uncanny way of popping up just when Alex was about to steal a kiss or cop a feel.

  At long last, supper came and went. Waiting for Kerry to put Ella to bed and for the rest of the kids to devour their popcorn and ice cream was a delicious agony. Finally, when his boys and her girls had finally passed out in their sleeping bags on the living room floor, they tiptoed upstairs, wincing at each creak of the floorboards.

  When they made it to the top, Kerry held out a halting hand and put a finger to her lips. Blood pounding in their ears, they held their breath, listening.

  The second Kerry nodded the all clear, Alex’s hands snatched at her, but she dodged his grasp and scampered down the hall on her tiptoes, Alex hot on her heels, both giggling like teenagers and shedding clothes as they went.

  Carefully, Alex closed the bedroom door, watching Kerry slip her bra straps down off her shoulders. He stepped out of his shorts, abandoning them in a puddle on the floor, and reached around to her back and undid the hooks and flung it across the room. Then he slipped his knee between her legs, toppling her backward onto the faded, patchwork quilt, both of them cringing through their grins at the screech of protest from the ancient metal bed frame.

  It was steamier upstairs, despite the box fan beneath the window screen. In the country night at the end of the lane, they were finally free to do what they’d been fantasizing about doing all day. Hands dragged along curves and dips. The pace slowed. Smiles faded as their breathing deepened and filled their ears.

  The time for rushing was past. Now they had the luxury of years stretching out before them. Alex lavished Kerry with attention, taking his own pleasure in pleasuring her until she was thrashing in sheets worn thin and soft with age. To keep from being overheard, they made their desires known using body language, finally forgetting to be quiet when, together, they fell over the edge.

  In the middle of the night, Kerry felt Alex stirring.

  “Did I wake you?” she asked softly.

  “No. I’ve been awake for a little while. I was trying not to wake you.”

  “I guess neither of us is used to sharing a bed.”

  For a while, they lay facing each other in the dark, sharing trivial intimacies and comfortable silences.

  “Something I meant to ask you. Why’d you freak out when you saw Travis with your handcuffs on? You were really bent out of shape.”

  “I should never have set them where the kids could get them. Childproofing is something I’ll have to get used to. You’re right, though. Cuffs give me the heebie-jeebies.”

  “That’s funny. You must use them almost every day. Handcuffs are a tool of the trade.”

  “Ever since I was seven and I got this big splinter in my foot and the docs wrapped me up in a sheet, mummy style, while they dug it out, I can’t stand the thought of being bound.”

  “Poor baby.”

  “Go ahead. Poke fun. You don’t know what it was like, being tied up for hours.”

  “Sounds like you better stay on the straight and narrow, Detective.”

  “Know any good defense attorneys, in case I don’t?”

  She tickled his ribs, and he grabbed her hands, rolled onto her, and kissed her.

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” said Kerry. “Time to get up.”

  Alex opened one eye and reached for her, sitting on the edge of the bed, but she curved her body out of reach in the nick of time.

  He propped himself up on an elbow and sniffed the air. “Is that bacon?”

  “And coffee.” She stood looking down at him with her hands on her hips. “Good coffee, not like the stuff at the NPD. Come on, before the kids eat it all.”

  “Mmn.” He lay back down. “It’s so warm and comfy under the covers here. You really should crawl in and see.”

  She sat back down and caressed his head. “I’d rather we were both downstairs before Shay gets up. She and I need to have a private girl talk. She’s at the age where she’s bound to have questions about you and me sleeping in the same bed.”

  “A little late now, isn’t it?” he asked through a yawn, tracing a line from her shoulder to her elbow.

  “I should have gotten it out of the way before, but everything happened so fast . . .”

  “The idea of sharing a home is going to take some getting used to for all of us.” He pulled her onto the bed and under the covers and began kissing her neck.

  She lifted her chin to give him better access. “When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have this kind, caring, sexy man lying next to me.”

  “You say that now,” he said, slipping his hand inside her oversize button-down and cupping her breast. “But what happens if I take too long a shower and we run out of hot water, or I get called out on a case at two in the morning and wake you up?

  “Or if you leave the cap off the toothpaste?”

  He scooted lower in the bed. “I would never do that. But we should probably have a conversation about our wine budget,” he said, suckling her.

  “Noted,” she murmured, rolling away from him. “Now, I’ve got to get back downstairs.”

  Reluctantly, he let her slip away. “Remember where we were.”

  She kissed the tip of his nose. “Oh, I will.” She shot him a saucy smile, and he would have sworn the exaggerated sway of her hips as she left the room was deliberate.

  * * *

  Around the dining room table sat the girls in their PJ’s and he and the boys in their rumpled clothes from the previous day, while Hobo wagged from chair to chair, begging for handouts.

  “It stopped raining. Let’s go outside after breakfast,” said Chloé around a mouthful of toaster waffle.

  “Sorry. I’m gonna have to put the kibosh on that,” said Alex. He looked at the boys. “You guys smell like onions and old socks. Time to go back to my place to shower. Then we’re going shopping for new school clothes. Can’t hav
e you going back to school in ankle pants.”

  “Whaths ankle panths?” asked Travis.

  “It’s when your pants are too short and you can see your ankles,” said Ty.

  Travis folded his arms and frowned in protest. “I don’t want to go thopping. I want to thtay here.”

  “Please?” begged Tyler. “Shay said she’d show us her secret place by the creek.”

  Shay frowned. “You weren’t supposed to tell!”

  “Sorry.”

  “You’ll have plenty of time to play down at the creek once you’ve moved in,” said Kerry, sitting down to eat with them. “Only two more weeks.”

  Tyler slipped a piece of bacon under the table, and Hobo inhaled it without chewing.

  “Hey! I just thought of something else!” exclaimed Tyler. “We’re going to have a dog!”

  “Don’t you want a new cell phone for school, Ty?” asked Alex.

  “Yeah!”

  “I still can’t believe the school actually requires them,” Alex muttered to Kerry.

  “Get ready. There’re a few more things that have changed since you were in school.”

  “Do the kids still carry milk money? I have a big jar I throw my change into every night.”

  Kerry shook her head. “I pay for the kids’ lunches the same way I buy everything else—online.”

  “Looks like I’ve got as much to learn as these knuckleheads,” he said, snatching Tyler and giving him a noogie. His hair had grown back in, and he had lost that gaunt look.

  “Aaaah! Cut it out!” Tyler laughed, his voice cracking, beating Alex with impotent fists.

  “Oof!” cried Alex, doubling over, pretending to be hurt.

  “I’ll be your teacher,” Kerry said to Alex with a wink.

  She looked so damn approachable in her yoga pants, with no makeup on.

  “Tell you what,” Alex said to the boys. “If it’s okay with Kerry, you guys can go out and play for a half hour. But when I say it’s time to go, no arguments.”

  In a flash, the boys and Chloé were out of their seats and headed for the back door.

  “Please carry your dishes to the sink first,” said Kerry.

  “Wait for me,” said Shay, drinking the leftover milk from her bowl of cereal.

  While the others were running down the porch steps, Alex took Kerry into his arms.

  Shay turned around after rinsing her bowl and gazed steadily at her mother in Alex’s arms as she made her way to the back door.

  “She’s going to be the tricky one,” said Kerry when she was gone.

  “What are you going to tell her?”

  “That’s what I’m most worried about. In Shay’s experience, the guy always lets us down. I’ll tell her that just because two men have disappointed us, that doesn’t mean you will.”

  Alex pulled her close.

  A moment later, she pulled back, draped her arms over his shoulders, and looked up into his eyes. “I’ll tell her that, unlike the others, we can depend on you. And that we love each other and we’re ready to live as a family.”

  “What about your mom and dad? I keep thinking I need to ask for your hand or something.”

  Kerry laughed. “My father can be a little intimidating. It’s not like we’re getting married, though. And even if we were, I decide what’s best for me and my girls.”

  “I’m not sure which would be harder, asking him to marry you or telling him I’m about to shack up with his only daughter—in his house. My manhood is shrinking just thinking about it.”

  “I pay rent here.”

  “It goes without saying that I’ll step up to the plate. I’m not talking about the practical end of it, though. Judge O’Hearn has made it very clear how he feels about cops.”

  “Oh, no.” She winced. “Sorry. Let me handle him.”

  “No. Tell them what’s going on if you want, but before we make this official, I need to speak to him myself—both of your parents—in person.”

  * * *

  Later that afternoon, the shopping bags containing new backpacks and underwear and sneakers slung carelessly on the boys’ beds, Alex took his laptop out back while the boys played in the yard.

  “How come no bluebirds have moved into the nice, safe boxes we built them yet?” asked Tyler.

  “It’s too soon,” Alex replied, only half paying attention. Then it occurred to him. “Did you think they would move right in as soon as they saw it?”

  “That’s what I’d do if I was a bird.”

  “It takes wild animals a while to learn to trust. Maybe we’ll take the boxes with us when we move, if they’re still unclaimed.”

  That cheered him. “Okay.”

  He watched Tyler pitch a ball to Travis, who had his tongue out in concentration as he shouldered his bat.

  Livvie had warned him not to get his hopes up. But he couldn’t help it. From the first nourishing meal he’d bought them, he’d gotten hooked on the high of being a father . . . giving of himself to vulnerable, defenseless beings with no thought to the cost.

  About a week earlier, Livvie had confided that Greg and Deborah Pelletier had made the mistake of skipping one of their court-mandated counseling sessions. Perhaps, in their supreme arrogance, they thought they were above taking orders. Or maybe, when the judge told them how vital it was to follow their plan to the letter of the law, they weren’t paying attention. Whatever the reason, every misstep would count against them at the next custody hearing. And each count against them was a count in Alex’s favor. He knew he shouldn’t, but he could already taste the possibility of adoption.

  Then there was complicated, exasperating, provocative Kerry. He used to have to dredge up fading memories to see her navy-blue eyes in his daydreams. Now he gazed into them whenever he wanted. Even better, he got to touch her. He would never take that for granted. What lucky star had guided them together after all those years?

  Kerry and her two impossibly precious—that is, when they weren’t annoying the hell out of him—angels. When he wasn’t looking, Chloé and Ella had charmed and cajoled their way into his heart.

  And then there was Shay, a former solitary like Alex, who was blossoming before his eyes into a self-assured young lady. She was going to be every bit as fiery as her mama, and he adored her beyond all reason. He couldn’t imagine his life without any of them.

  The boys came running over, pink-faced and sweaty. “Will you play with us?”

  Alex regarded the boys, then his screen, then the boys again. And then he closed his laptop with a click. “Okay.” He rose from his seat with a muffled groan. “Who batted last?”

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Kerry’s parents were watching Ella and Chloé so she and Shay could have some mother-daughter time under the guise of back-to-school shopping, without the hassle of the younger ones.

  What a difference a year made, thought Kerry, watching Shay try on clothes and listening to her chatter on about her new friends and text them photos of clothes from the fitting rooms, getting responses like, That’s. So cute.

  Last September, Shay was still a kid. This summer, she got her first period. And today, Kerry had caved and bought her some bras. Bras! Sports bras, but still. Shay said all her friends had them.

  The last stop was to Ruddock’s for dinner, just the two of them.

  “So,” said Kerry as they slid into their booth. “How do you feel about Alex and the boys moving in with us?”

  “I’m so excited! Coach Walker—wait. What am I supposed to call him now?”

  “That’s a good question. Why don’t you talk to him about that and decide together?”

  “Good idea. Let’s see.” She rested her elbow on the table and put her finger to her lips. “I could call him Alex.”

  “That is his name.”

  She grimaced. “It sounds so . . . I don’t know. Weird. Like calling one of my teachers by his first name. Don’t forget, Chloé and Ella are going to have to decide, too. Ella’s so little. It’d be really w
eird, hearing her call him Alex.” She thought some more. “You know what I’d really like to call him?”

  “Hm?” Kerry perused the menu, trying to decide between a burger and a salad.

  “Dad.”

  Kerry slid off her glasses and looked at her daughter, who was changing almost before her eyes. “You never even called Dick, Dad.”

  “That’s because I was still just a confused little kid back then. Turns out, it’s a good thing I didn’t, huh? Now that he’s gone, it’s like he never even existed.

  “Dad makes the most sense. I mean, think about it. It’s short. It’s easy to remember. Ella probably doesn’t even remember her real dad, so she can just act like Alex’s the only dad she’s ever known.”

  “Alex isn’t going to be your stepdad. At least, we have no plans for that.”

  “Dick was my stepdad, but what difference did that make? Did it stop him from leaving?”

  Technically, Kerry had insisted Dick leave when she found out about his affair. But she didn’t want to spoil a lovely evening by rehashing the past. Shay was thrilled with her purchases, she wasn’t too hormonal, and she and Kerry were getting along swimmingly.

  “You know why I really want to call him Dad?”

  “Why, sweetheart?”

  “So that when people hear me say it in public, they’ll think he really is my dad, and that I’m his daughter.”

  Tears stung Kerry’s throat. Whether at home or at school, all Shay had ever wanted was to belong. Thanks to Alex, now she did. Because of him, she had friends at school and a male mentor in her life.

  She reached across the table for her daughter’s hand. “That’s a wonderful sentiment. I think Alex will like it, too. He thinks the world of you, you know.”

  “I know,” Shay said, her newfound confidence filling Kerry with maternal pride. But to whom did she owe that but Alex?

  After dinner, when they pulled into Kerry’s parents’ house, Kerry brought Shay into her confidence.

  “We don’t have much time before Alex and the boys move in. I should tell Grandma and Grandpa what’s going on with Alex and the boys so they aren’t surprised. After you show them the things we bought, would you mind keeping an eye on Chloé and Ella so I can talk to them in private for a few minutes?”