Dangerous Love

by Kara Leigh Miller

  “Did you highlight this?” she asked.

  “No. I think you did.”

  “Why?”

  “I looked up Burton Law Offices because I wondered the same thing: why is it highlighted? It’s quite common for local businesses to feed campaigns. However, the only law office I could find with this name was in Canada.”

  “Canada? What does that mean?”

  “Well, maybe it means he has a rich uncle in Canada that wanted to give twenty thousand dollars to support his campaign.” Josh moved to the fridge and pulled out the jug of water he had inside. “But more likely, it means Raymond Scotts was on the take.”

  “The take?”

  “He was receiving campaign funds from a shady source.” Josh poured them both water and handed a glass to Alessa.

  She rubbed at her temple. “Okay. So I’m somehow involved in this because I took all of these things. I was obviously trying to prove something—gathering evidence to do just that.” She placed her glass down and went back to stir the sauce.

  “If Raymond found out, it doesn’t sound uncharacteristic for a man who is obviously involved in a number of shady things to want to scare or harm someone who is a threat to him.”

  Alessa felt a chill run up her arms despite the sweater. She pursed her lips and tried to think of anything that would make a connection to what they were seeing, learning. She felt a dull throb at the base of her skull. Turning away from the stove, she came to stand by Josh again.

  “We need to make a list of what we know.” He reached out and stroked his thumb down her cheek. She leaned into his touch and even surrounded by the chaos of her past, stacks upon stacks of it she couldn’t sort through, she felt grateful.

  “It won’t be a long list.”

  “Longer than you think. Are you up for it?”

  “Of course. Do you want me to wait on the spaghetti?” she asked.

  He turned to her, set the papers down and put his arms around her, making her heart feel like it might burst in her chest. There may be something wrong with her memory, her mind, but her heart was working at full capacity. And every day, every minute, it was belonging more and more to Josh.

  “Alessa, I love having you here. I also love your cooking. But you don’t have to wait on me. You don’t have to do anything. Least of all serve me.” He touched his forehead to hers while his hands found her waist.

  She was trying to ignore the tingling sensations that him saying her name and the word love in the same sentence brought when another word got stuck in her brain. Serve. She squinted her eyes, and the throbbing at the base of her skull increased.

  You’re worthless. Good for serving greasy meals in some low budget diner. Don’t forget that’s where I found you.

  The throb turned to a stab, and she heard herself whimper, squeezed her eyes shut and heard Josh saying her name like he was at one end of a tunnel and she was at the other. She could smell the rosemary, but it mingled with the smell of grease that couldn’t be real. She tried to open her eyes and felt a wave of movement, like she had gone down a waterslide.

  “Alessa, look at me, honey.” Josh’s voice was closer now, like the tunnel was getting smaller. She felt like tiny hammers pounded her eyelids. The base of her skull felt like she’d been electrocuted. It throbbed and burned with lingering pain. She opened her eyes a crack, moaning slightly with the effort it took. She felt Josh’s hand on her stomach and she . . . she was lying down, on something soft. His other hand was on her forehead. He kept saying her name. She felt him take her wrist, check her pulse. Slowly the pounding, the burning, the pain pushed back. It didn’t hurt the next time she tried to open her eyes fully.

  “What happened?” she whispered.

  “You blacked out. You said the word ‘serve’ then practically had your eyes roll up into the back of your head. C’mon. I want to take you into the hospital and run some tests.”

  This brought her back to the present fully and completely. She shook her head lightly, still aware of the pain. “No. Josh. No. Please. No tests. I just want to stay here with you.”

  He looked at her, seemed to weigh her appearance and words as he made a decision. He pulled her up gently. Putting his thumb to her eyelid, he pulled it up, told her to look at the light then repeated the process with the other eye. He checked her pulse again and frowned but nodded.

  “We’ll take a break. I want you to lie down,” he insisted.

  She rubbed the back of her head where the pain had receded to an intermittent thumping. Taking a deep, steadying breath, knowing he wouldn’t be satisfied otherwise, she nodded and began to stand. He stood as well and scooped her up into his arms. She didn’t think too much about how hard she was falling. Instead, she enjoyed the moment, letting her head lay on his shoulder.

  “Well, this is romantic,” she said with a small smile, exciting shivers trailed her arms when he squeezed her tighter.

  “Except for the whole passing out thing, yes.” He laughed and kissed her forehead.

  Please don’t let what we find change this. I may have done something to get myself into this, but please, please don’t take this . . . Don’t take Josh away from me.

  He lay her down on the bed, and she kept her arms around his neck, effectively pulling him down. He gave a tense chuckle and tried to loosen her arms. She held tight.

  “Alessa,” he whispered, leaning over her, his hands on her arms, his body falling over her. She closed her eyes and felt his breath warm on her cheek.

  “Just lie down with me, please.”

  When she opened her eyes, his had darkened, and he was shaking his head. “It’s not a good idea, honey.”

  “I just don’t want you to go.”

  He firmed his lips and shifted his body so he was sitting beside her. She shifted to her side so she was almost curled around his hip. He ran his finger lightly up and down her arm, causing more shivers. Pulling the throw blanket from the bottom of the bed, he tucked it around her and brushed her hair from her face, tucked it behind her ear.

  “Sleep. Just for a little while. Why don’t we go on our date tonight? We could both use a break from all of this.”

  “I’d like that, very much. Josh?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry for all of this. I know you say you’re where you want to be, but it feels like every day there’s something new dropped on you because of me. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. We’ll figure it out, and I am where I want to be. I promise you that.”

  “Okay. Where are you taking me?” Her voice sounded heavy. His hand drifted slower, felt heavier, comforting and warm.

  “Let me worry about that. You just get some sleep.”

  She murmured her agreement, surprised by how tired she felt. His lips touched her cheek, and she breathed him in, feeling so content it scared her—what was the saying about the calm before the storm?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Alessa checked herself in the mirror one final time. She hoped the dress she picked out wasn’t too much. If Josh would’ve told her where they were going tonight, she could’ve made sure she was dressed appropriately, but he’d refused. That man, she thought, is so exasperating. Tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear, she smiled at her reflection. This felt like her very first date. In a way, it kind of was. And what better man to share it with than Dr. Joshua Parker? She loved how his name sounded.

  When the doorbell chimed, she didn’t think much of it. Josh was roaming around in the living room last time she’d seen him. She found the tube of lip-gloss in the drawer. As she opened the cap, the doorbell sounded again. Alessa stopped and listened. She couldn’t hear Josh’s footsteps anymore. That’s odd. Where would he have gone?

  She set the lip-gloss on the sink, and headed toward the living room. It was empty. “Josh?” Honestly, where did he go without telling her?

  The doorbell rang for the third time. Good grief, someone doesn’t have much patience. She grabbed the doorknob and flung
the door open, prepared to give whoever was on the other side a piece of her mind for being so rude. But the moment she saw his smile and his stormy eyes, she stopped cold.

  Alessa laughed. “What are you doing ringing your own doorbell?”

  Josh’s smile grew even bigger. “A gentleman always comes to the door to pick up his date.” He held out a bouquet of wildflowers. “I picked these for you.”

  “You picked them?” She took the flowers from him and brought them to her nose. “Josh . . . they’re . . .” At a loss for words, she simply shook her head. No one had ever taken the time to pick her flowers before.

  “Alessa?”

  “Huh? I’m sorry.” She shook off her mushy thoughts and smiled. “These are absolutely beautiful, Josh. Thank you.”

  He gave her another knee-weakening smile. “You really like them?”

  “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Alessa stepped aside and motioned for him to enter. “Would you like to come in for a minute?”

  Josh laughed as he entered. “A minute?” He cocked a brow. “Now don’t go getting carried away. I do still live here you know.”

  Alessa playfully smacked him. As she walked to the kitchen to find a vase, she called over her shoulder, “You started this little charade, remember?” She retrieved the one from beneath the sink and filled it with water. She remembered finding it one day when she’d been searching for a large pot. At the time she thought it was odd a single man would have a vase like that, but she now guessed it was probably put there by Amanda.

  “I just wanted to make sure you got the full date experience.”

  She smiled. “Well, for the record, you’re doing a fabulous job so far.”

  “Yeah? Good.” He paused. “I’m glad you like the flowers. I picked flowers for Laura once. She never came right out and said it, but I don’t think she liked the gesture. I think she would’ve preferred to have ones from a florist.”

  Alessa remained as still as possible. Laura. Josh’s dead wife. This was the first time he’d ever really talked about her. Alessa’s heart raced and conflicting emotions swirled inside of her, making the room feel much hotter than it was just seconds ago. On one hand, she wanted Josh to keep talking so she could learn more about him and his past. But on the other hand, she didn’t want to listen to him talk about another woman, a woman he loved enough to marry, a woman he loved so much that losing her destroyed him.

  She drew a shaky breath. Will he ever love me like that? Don’t be silly. He doesn’t love me. Alessa smiled, hoping it looked happy and not sad, which is how she suddenly felt. “Well, I think they’re beautiful.”

  Josh pushed off the counter where he’d been leaning and came toward her. “And I think you’re beautiful.”

  Her face flushed with warmth. “Josh.” She looked down. Another thing she was realizing about herself—she hated being complimented. It always made her feel awkward and self-conscious.

  “Hey.” He put his finger under her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. “You’re breathtaking, Alessandra.”

  She suppressed a shudder. He rarely used her full name like that, but she loved it when he did. It was like a verbal caress, a glaring reminder that she was a woman and he was a man. Both with needs and desires. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “So, are you ready to go? We’ve got a big night ahead of us.”

  “We do?” She wondered again what he had planned. Asking wouldn’t do any good. He’d made it clear he wouldn’t tell her.

  “Mmm hmm.” He grinned.

  “All right. Let’s go.” She laughed. It felt good to be so carefree, to just enjoy the moment, Josh’s company. Life. Like so many other things, she couldn’t explain it, but she knew she hadn’t been happy before. In fact, she’d bet anything she hadn’t been happy for a really long time.

  * * * *

  Forty-five minutes later, Alessa was seated across from Josh at a cozy, two person table in a secluded corner of a quaint little restaurant that was well-known for their authentic Greek food. She didn’t think she’d ever eaten Greek before, but Josh assured her it was good, and she was looking forward to it.

  “So, it seemed like you really enjoyed helping Amanda with the church event.”

  Alessa nodded and sipped her ice water. “Yes. Apparently I have a knack for it.” She laughed. “And Amanda is great, too. I really like her.”

  Josh smiled in a way she’d never seen before. It was so bright and genuine. “I’m really glad you two are getting along so well.”

  She propped her elbow on the table. “She means a lot to you, doesn’t she? I mean, I know she’s your sister and all, but I get the feeling there’s more.” She frowned. “I didn’t mean that like . . .” What am I even trying to say? Just shut up before you say anything else dumb.

  “Amanda is a lot like a second mother.” He chuckled. “She keeps me on track and usually knows things long before I do. Of course, I typically don’t listen to her.”

  Alessa tilted her head to the side. “What do you mean she knows things before you?”

  Josh laughed again. “She has this uncanny ability to see the outcome of a situation before I do. Like with you. She knew you weren’t just a patient I was helping even though that’s exactly what I kept telling her.” He reached across the table and took her hand into his, caressing her knuckles with his thumb.

  She laughed. “Yeah, that night I went out with her while you had boy’s night, she kind of gave me the third degree.”

  Josh hung his head and groaned. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I liked it.” She smiled. “It’s nice to know she cares about you so much. And she made it very clear what would happen to me if I ever hurt you.”

  “I can only imagine.”

  Just then their waiter returned with a large, round, silver tray piled with food. She was impressed with how colorful it was. Various shades of greens, red and yellow peppers, tomatoes, olives, and long skewers packed full of perfectly browned meat. And the bread—wow there was a lot of bread. So many different types and shapes—flat pita bread, round focaccia bread, Italian bread, and crunchy wheat bread. It smelled delicious, and her stomach grumbled.

  “Can I get you two anything else?” the waiter asked.

  “No, I think we’re all set. Thanks,” Josh said.

  “That’s a lot of food.” She laughed.

  “Yes, but it’s well worth it. Trust me.” He grabbed a skewer and using his fork, pulled the meat from it onto his plate. Alessa watched as he took a slice of pita bread, spread cucumber sauce on it, and then packed it with meat and vegetables. He took a large bite, and she smiled. Was it strange that she enjoyed watching him eat?

  Josh held his food out to her. “Want some?”

  Leaning across the table, she took a bite, savoring the myriad of tastes and textures. She closed her eyes and moaned. “I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life.”

  A small smile spread across his face. It was that adorable boyish smile she loved so much. “I knew you’d like it.”

  “Well Mr. Smarty Pants, if you know me so well, tell me the one thing on this plate I won’t eat.” She folded her arms on the table and held his gaze.

  “That’s easy. The olives.”

  “Okay that was just a lucky guess.” How on earth did he know that?

  “No it wasn’t.” He laughed. “That night we ordered pizza and antipasto salad you picked out the olives.”

  “You saw that?” And here she’d thought she’d been discreet. It seemed rude to pick apart food he’d so graciously bought for her. Embarrassment colored her cheeks.

  “I see a lot, Alessa.” His voice was low and serious. “I like to watch you.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes.” He smiled. “You have this ease to your movements. There’s a certain grace and confidence you don’t know you have. But I see it.”

  She had no idea how to respond to that. “Okay, enough about me.” She hated talking about h
erself, probably because she didn’t know anything about her life that was worth talking about. It was getting old trying to remember, trying to recall even the smallest details of who she was. Besides, she was enjoying being who she was right now. It didn’t matter who or what she was before, did it?

  “Tell me about you,” she said, taking some food from the tray.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Well, why’d you decide to become a doctor?”

  “The simple answer, I want to help people.”

  “And the not simple answer?” She took a bite of her food and couldn’t resist momentarily closing her eyes to savor it. Did I eat food this amazing before? Is it something I’m accustomed to?

  “Dylan. He was my best friend growing up. When he was eight, he got really sick. I remember all the different doctors he’d seen, and none of them were able to accurately diagnose him until it was too late. On his bad days we’d build a fort in his bedroom and spend hours playing video games or cards. I used to tell him I would grow up and be a doctor so I could save him. He died when we were eleven.”

  “Oh, Josh, honey, I’m so sorry.” She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure he’s looking down on you right now, smiling, and so proud.”

  “Thank you for saying that.” Josh brought her hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss. “It means a lot.”

  They both fell silent, eating and sharing food. Then it really hit her: Josh had suffered so much loss. His best friend and his wife. No man should have to lose so much in a single lifetime. It wasn’t fair. And what would happen when she finally regained all of her memories? Will he lose me, too? Not if she had her way, but there was so much she didn’t know. How could she make such a promise to him?

  “I’m sorry I can’t tell you anything about me.” She frowned and looked down at her plate.

  Josh scooted his chair around so he was next to her instead of across from her. Then he moved his plate and drink. “Don’t be sorry. This isn’t your fault.” He took a slice of bread loaded with meat and veggies and held it out to her. “Now eat, because I have a surprise for you after dinner.”