Maybe if he’d never kissed her. That night in the moonlight was coming back to bite him in the butt again. So much for using a lesson to his son for selfish purposes. Dev realized he was the one who’d learned something.
Tonight he’d seen for himself Hannah’s deep-seated enthusiasm and excitement for her work. He should have realized it sooner. She was a passionate woman. From firsthand—or should he say mouth-to-mouth experience—he’d found that out. He’d bet the farm that she was capable of deep personal feelings. The man she cared about would be a lucky son of a gun.
“But it won’t be me,” he said to the row of vending machines. “I can’t take the chance.”
Hannah was too keyed up to go into the house. “I think I’ll stay out here for a little while,” she said to Dev as they walked past the gazebo on the way to the front porch.
He had driven her back to the ranch after the results of Ronnie’s tests had all come back negative. The cut above his eye had required three stitches, which he said would impress the girls. The doctor was keeping him in the hospital overnight to be on the safe side. And all was right with the world, she thought with a happy sigh.
“I’ll keep you company.” Dev’s voice was deep.
The husky quality made her think of tangled bodies and twisted sheets.
“That’s not necessary,” she protested. “It’s been a long day and you get up before God.”
“Someone has to tell Him to start the world,” he said.
Hannah noticed something else about his tone. In fact, all the way home from the hospital he’d hardly said two words.
“What’s wrong, Dev?”
He sat down on the wooden steps leading up to the porch. Hannah settled beside him, knowing it probably wasn’t the smartest move she’d ever made. The sparks she felt from just the barest brush of their shoulders confirmed her suspicion.
“Does it show?”
She was surprised he didn’t blow her off. “Yeah. Want to talk about it? Does it have anything to do with Ronnie Slyder getting hurt?”
“Indirectly, I guess.” He rested his forearms on his thighs and let his hands dangle between his widespread knees. “I kept picturing Ben in that hospital.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Me, too.”
Hoping the move looked casual, she slid away from him, putting a couple of inches between herself and the heat of his body. If only it were as easy to shut out the masculine scent that was so Dev.
“I’d like to wrap my son in plastic and keep him safe,” he admitted.
“Be sure there are airholes in the protective covering. It’s hard to breathe through plastic,” she said, trying to lighten his mood.
“I’m serious, Hannah. Kids think they’re immortal.”
“Personally, I think anyone who would voluntarily get on the back of a ton of bull needs a psych evaluation.”
That flippant remark actually rewarded her with a small smile. Then he stared into the darkness again. “I’m not just talking about the rodeo. Although I’d like to lock him in a room, or hire a twenty-four-hour-a-day bodyguard, I know Ben needs to be allowed to grow.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m talking about decisions kids make that can affect the rest of their lives. How do I teach him to do the right thing? How can I be sure he’ll do what’s best for him and the kids he’s with?”
“This is more than Ronnie, isn’t it?”
He met her gaze for several moments, then nodded. “I talked to Grady tonight at the rodeo.”
“I saw you. He left just as I arrived. Is something wrong?”
“He’s got some legal stuff going on.”
Hannah tucked a strand of hair behind her ear then linked her fingers and rested her joined hands in her lap. “Since he’s the sheriff, that’s not a stretch. He’s sworn to uphold the law, I’d say that’s in his job description.”
Dev shook his head. “It’s personal stuff and it’s trouble.”
“What?” She looked at him for explanation. It was like staring at a sphinx. “Yanking out a hot appendix isn’t this hard.”
“Something happened, Hannah. Ten years ago.”
“What?” she asked again.
He shook his head. “I— Hindsight is twenty/twenty. I could have done something. Things might be different if only I’d—” He stopped and rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I wish I’d had my head on straight back then. I was just a kid. We all were. But it’s done now.”
Standing, he took several steps, just to where the glow from the porch light butted up against the shadows. He folded his arms over his chest and stood staring into the darkness.
Hannah wanted to stay where she was, after all she had a front row seat to admire his spectacular cowboy butt from a safe distance. But she couldn’t. With a sigh she pushed to her feet and walked the several steps to where he stood. She only hesitated a moment before resting a hand on his upper arm. The muscle flexed beneath her fingers and she resisted the urge to wrap both hands around the masculine curve.
“I can’t say anymore than that,” he said.
“Okay. But I have something to say, and you’re not going to like it.”
He looked down, then covered her hand with his large, warm palm. “Unless you’re going to offer me an inoculation against teenage trouble, I’m not sure I want to hear it.”
“You have no idea how much I wish I could.” She sighed. “My job would be so much easier. I deal with the highs and lows all the time. As far as Ben is concerned, all you can do is your best. Sometimes all you can do is nothing. When he was learning to walk, you had to stand back and watch him fall. Sometimes it hurt—you more than him. But if you’d picked him up and carried him, granted you would have saved him pain at the time, but he wouldn’t be running now. When he started to talk, if you’d anticipated his needs before he could voice them, there would have been no reason for him to say the words.”
“There are times I wish he didn’t,” he said with a grin.
“You don’t really mean that,” she chided gently.
“No. And I know you’re right. It’s just that looking back at my adolescence, if only I’d—”
“Don’t,” she said, taking her hand from beneath his and settling it on top of his fingers. She squeezed lightly, willing him to absorb her words. “It’s tempting to second-guess yourself. It’s so easy when the pressure’s off to look back and critique. To see what you could have done differently, maybe better. With kids, we let go, watch them wobble, stretch their muscles, walk, run, grow and mature. No pain, no gain. Maturity is the great equalizer—or something like that.” She rested her cheek against his arm for a moment and sighed. “Sorry. I seem to be spouting clichés like an uncapped oil well.”
“No big deal.”
She lifted her head and looked up at him. “You’re absolutely right. Hindsight is twenty/twenty. If we could see into the future we would probably all make different decisions, on the spot.”
“Not everything,” he said.
His voice had that husky quality again. It raised goose bumps on her arms. Because she was still touching him, she felt the exact moment when he tensed. His gaze found hers and his eyes turned smoky and intense.
“What do you mean?” she asked breathlessly.
“I could never regret this.”
He turned the hand she was holding and captured hers, pulling it to his chest. As if they were about to start the steps of a difficult dance, he placed his palm over her fingers, trapping them against the strong, steady throb of his heart. She got the feeling he was listening to a tune that she couldn’t hear as his other arm encircled her waist, drawing her slowly to him. Warmth from his skin seeped through his cotton shirt to the sensitive nerve endings in her fingertips. Heat from his hand burned through the material of her blouse and branded his touch into her back.
Her breasts pressed against the solid, unyielding wall of his chest. Hannah knew she was brighter than the average bear and had been all her life. But right now, she
didn’t have to be the brightest star in the sky to know that Dev Hart intended to kiss her.
She froze as he lowered his head. It would be stupid to let him. It would be dumb to ignore the fact it was all about the attraction sizzling between them and not because he cared deeply for her. It would be idiotic to forget that attraction and forever-after were as far apart as Texas and California. But for the first time in her life she wanted to forget, ignore, overlook and disregard her superior brain, and wallow in hormone heaven. She actually wanted to be a dumb, stupid idiot.
As his lips touched hers, she found that this foolish state worked for her, more than she’d ever thought possible. His mouth was firm yet soft, taking and giving, seeking and sampling. Liquid heat flowed through her veins and pooled in her belly, radiating outward. She didn’t need a dermatologist to tell her that her skin was flushed and hot. Or a pulmonologist to diagnose her shortness of breath. The cause was at once simple and complicated.
Dev.
He shifted slightly, then removed his hand from hers. The light evening breeze caressed her exposed knuckles even as his palm closed over her breast. The longed-for contact made her forget to breathe as she seemed to swell into his hand. Her skin tingled through the material of her bra and shirt. She felt like the princess and the pea, sensation in spite of all the barriers. Against all the odds.
Just like she and Dev were a long shot.
What were the odds that she would wind up kissing one of Destiny’s most eligible bachelors a second time? Until this magic moment, she would have guessed slim to none.
It was time to stop thinking and just feel. Let go. Her nipple puckered at the same time she arched her back, urging her breast more securely into his palm. She heard his quick intake of breath at her response, and felt his other hand tighten at her waist.
He traced the outline of her lips with his tongue, and instantly her mouth opened, admitting him inside. She heard the harsh rasp of his breathing and took supreme satisfaction in her feminine powers. But satisfaction of a different sort stole over her as he stroked the roof of her mouth, sending desire arcing through her.
He lightly kissed the corner of her mouth and nibbled his way over her cheek and jaw. Her breath caught as he slowed to a spot in the sensitive hollow just behind her mandibular joint and below her earlobe. She was sure she would die of sheer pleasure when he caught it between his teeth and tenderly tortured her. But that was nothing compared to the pure and simple sensual exhilaration she felt when he stroked the oh-so-responsive spot with the tip of his tongue.
She squirmed in his arms, pressed herself even closer to his warmth and solid strength. Her hand stole up his chest to his neck where her fingers channeled into the hair at his nape.
“Oh, Dev,” she whispered. “That feels so wonderful.”
“Hannah, I— Damn.” He let out a frustrated breath.
The next thing Hannah knew, he wasn’t touching her anymore. He’d stepped away. She opened her eyes and blinked, trying to stifle her disappointment.
“I can’t do this,” he said.
She didn’t know what to say. Define this? Make love to her? Take her now? All of the above? Nothing? Then she got what this was. He didn’t want her. She couldn’t believe she’d been so foolish. She’d wondered what it would be like to finally have Dev Hart notice her. Now she knew. It would be humiliation and mortification.
It was just like ten years ago. He didn’t want to go any further with her. Didn’t want to know anymore about her.
“I can’t do this either. It’s late. I have to go in.” She ran trembling fingers through her hair, then turned away.
“Hannah, wait—”
“What?” she asked without looking at him.
He cursed under his breath, then huffed out a sound of frustration. “Nothing. You’re right. It’s late.”
She walked up the steps and into the house without looking back. It was late, all right. Too late to take back what she’d just done. But tomorrow was another day.
It would bring her closer to the time when she would leave Destiny. And Dev.
If only that thought brought her comfort instead of profound sadness and wrenching pain.
Chapter Nine
At noon, Dev walked toward the house. He was tired, hungry and cantankerous. The last Newy had pointed out and Dev had been forced to admit, if only to himself, that his foreman was right. Although, Hannah was to blame—for the tired and cantankerous part. Oh, he’d started it, just about eleven hours ago. But she’d kissed him back. Romantically rusty he might be, but his instincts couldn’t be that wrong.
If only she hadn’t looked so beautiful in the moonlight, he might have been able to resist her. Maybe if she hadn’t smiled her sweet, innocent Hannah smile. The warmth had made her glow brighter than the sky’s most brilliant star. And he didn’t even want to think about how good she had smelled. Or how soft she’d felt in his arms. The way she tasted—
Damn. He couldn’t stop thinking about her.
He entered the house through the service porch, leaving his hat on a hook there. On the way to the kitchen, he stopped in the washroom to clean his hands and face. He wished rinsing away memories of kissing Hannah were as easy as getting rid of the grime he’d picked up during morning chores. After drying his hands and face, he walked into the kitchen and found Polly setting the table for lunch.
She glanced at him over her shoulder and smiled. “Hi, Dev. I hope sandwiches are okay.”
He nodded. “I’m so hungry I could eat a bear.”
“You wouldn’t be if you’d eaten a decent breakfast,” she pointed out.
“Wasn’t very hungry then.” He took a glass from the cupboard above the sink and filled it with water, then drank. “What’re you up to this afternoon?”
“Since you’re riding with your child, I decided to spend some time with mine,” she said brightly. “She’s been so busy filling in at Frank’s office, we’ve hardly had any time together.”
It was Saturday and Hannah didn’t have to see patients today. That meant she would be around. He’d wanted to stay as far away from the house and nearby outbuildings as he could get, but he’d promised Ben he would supervise him on his new horse.
“Sounds fair,” he said. The idea of spending time with Hannah not only sounded fair, it was more appealing than he wanted to admit. But the fact was, he’d like to hang out with her, too. Every day, that feeling got bigger and harder to ignore.
Kissing her hadn’t been the stupidest thing he’d ever done. But probably in the top five. As much as he wanted to block out the memory of just about the best kiss he’d ever had, even more he wanted to erase the last look he’d seen on her face. Hurt and humiliation. He knew she was thinking he hadn’t wanted her.
The truth was he’d wanted her more than his next breath.
And he’d thought seriously about sweeping her into his arms and taking her upstairs to his room where he could have loved her all night long. Her artless, eager response to his kiss told him she probably wouldn’t have objected. But there was a problem. Actually, off the top of his head, he could think of more than a dozen, but there was no point in going there.
In the nick of time, he’d realized that a single night with Hannah wouldn’t ease his longing. He had a feeling that loving her, tasting her in the most intimate way a man could know a woman, would only make him want her more. That thought was about as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.
He’d wanted to explain and take away her pain, but he’d stopped himself. It was smarter just to break it off, maybe cancel out the dumb move.
Before he could worry the idea anymore, the doctor of his dreams walked into the room.
“Hi, honey,” Polly said. “Did you make your call?”
“Hi,” she said, her cheeks turning a becoming pink when she glanced in his direction.
She was wearing a hot pink T-shirt and white shorts that revealed shapely legs he instantly pictured wrapped around his waist. So much for no
t working himself up into a lather.
“Hi,” she said to him.
Dev folded his arms over his chest. “Afternoon.”
When their gazes locked, he winced at the expression in her eyes. It was as if someone had pulled the plug on the light. That someone was him. She wrongly thought he didn’t want her. If only he could tell her how much that wasn’t true. But if he did, it would open the door back up for him to do something she would rightly hate him for. The expression “between a rock and a hard place” had never been more true.
“What call was that?” he asked, just to make conversation, he told himself.
“Actually I made two,” she said. It was the cool, aloof professional doctor’s voice from last night at the hospital. “I checked on Ronnie Slyder.”
Polly set a pitcher of sweet tea on the table. “Hannah told me what happened,” she explained to Dev. “How is the boy, honey?”
“He was discharged this morning with orders to see his family doctor next week.”
“What was the other call?” he asked.
Polly tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear, then gave him a teasing look. “Who hit you with the nosy stick?”
“Just being friendly,” he explained.
Only partly true. He found he wanted to know everything about Hannah. What she did when she wasn’t with him. What she was thinking and feeling. What she was doing for the rest of her life.
“I called to check on my first choice job in California,” she answered. “I’ve received two offers, but neither is the one I’ve been hoping for.”
To hell with the nosy stick. He felt as if he’d just been hit by a truck on the information highway. His reaction was crystal clear proof that she’d just told him more than he should want to know—especially about the rest of her life. If he had a lick of sense, he would leave it at that. Unfortunately, now that he’d eased out into traffic on the info highway, he kind of needed to go with the flow. When you made conversation, you’d best be prepared to keep talking whether or not you liked the answers you got.
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