I know – strong words - but I think I know what is important in life. Such high hopes also means that perhaps the special woman for me doesn’t live in my neighbourhood, so I look further into the world.
I have tried to tell about myself. I was honest and direct. Please do not think I am bragging. I want you to know as much about me as possible so you can make your choice with your eyes open.
Everything is OK with me, physically healthy, mentally and sexually; no bad habits and certainly, I do not have problems dating women. I am not rich, but I can certainly work well enough for two to travel together. I will not list the places I wish to travel. I am sure that you have a good imagination.
I admire an intelligent easy-going woman and I do not like vanity. The special lady for me will be adaptable and able to dress like a queen, dine in the best restaurant in Paris, and also be the tourist in a dusty dry village in some strange country. You look like a princess already - do you enjoy camping or 4 star hotels?
I see future life as a combination of travel and experiencing as much as possible and all shared with someone close. I am an optimist. I am well balanced also - sometimes life must not be so serious. I think you understand what I mean. The journey of my life should give you a clear picture of the choices I made and the way I have chosen to live my life and the moral standards I chose. Thanks for reading to the end of this long letter.
Finally, when we die our tombstones will say “Born 1954 - Died 20XX”. What is most important is what we did during the “-“! What is your ideas about this?
Kind regards,
James.
Did you actually get through all of that? I am pretty sure it took about three cups of coffee for poor Tatyana to make it to the end of the letter.
Lack of focus on women
Some letters I’ve seen read like a term paper, as if you were forced to write it – you scrambled up something just to get a passing grade, and you weren’t even paying attention when the teacher was giving out the assignment. Such letters will never help you establish a personal connection, even if you write to the most desperate woman.
A very common occurrence is when a man creates a template (which generally includes all possible mistakes), and when he sends it out, he forgets to replace the original name in the letter with the name of the next woman to whom he is writing. Put yourself in a woman’s place for just a minute – would you like being called by another guy’s name? What would it make you feel and think about the person writing the letter? Such instances send women the message that you are not that interested, not very reliable, and definitely not worth getting to know.
While it may come as a surprise to some, all people like attention – they like being appreciated, they like being acknowledged, they like being noticed. This is the basic principle of any communication with women – make them feel special, appreciated, admired. If you are writing to a woman, make sure that you make your letters about her – her profile, interests, and events in her life. That is how you start a dialogue, a dialogue is what leads to relationships, and relationships grow into commitment and a happy future (after a few pages we will discuss in detail how to do it quickly and easily).
To grab a woman’s attention, your letter must be different – this means no cheesy clichés, this means letting your personality sparkle, this means making the lady reading your letter feel special. An impossible task, you think? Not at all. You can easily accomplish this by saying the right thing, by giving the right kind of information, and by knowing how to respond to your woman’s profile and letters – we will talk about this in detail in just a minute.
Here is an example of a short, but utterly horrible letter as well:
Hi misskazakistan–-
U are a sweetie…are you? :) haha–Its my birthday today when do i get my present :) I don’t remember you writing me before, why haven’t u? I really haven’t had a relationship on here since May 2011 when i was most interested in one girl.
You have a nice butt and beautiful hands. I want your hands in my mouth hahahahaha. Actually my teeth are killing me this week..long story but my dentist is out of town this week. Tomorrow i have an apt. Can you be there to assist? :) Then come home with me :) hmmm
So you are in USA but on a Russian dating site? What’s up with that? In USA for 11 years and aren’t married? But you must have lived with a guy or something like that…right? Anyway nice to meet you…can i see you on webcam. I dont know how this works with oksana…im sure you have many suitors..be blessed and have a great Sunday sabbath and don’t forget to praise the lord…richee rich
I don’t think there exists a letter worse than this – it is a compendium of mistakes. The guy is full of himself, he does not show any interest in the woman, he is demanding, pushy, and self-centered. Once again, imagine that such a masterpiece lands in your inbox. If it does not make you want to rip your hair out, you have the nerves of steel (hint: most women don’t!).
There are several taboo topics you should never – and I mean NEVER – bring up in your communication with the ladies. The most common of them are money, sex, politics, and questioning woman’s intentions, for obvious reasons.
I have seen many horrible, bad, so-so, good, and excellent letters and want to share them with you along with an explanation of why they did or didn’t work. Templates of such letters will help you avoid the same mistakes and find the perfect formula to get any woman’s attention. I am not including these templates in this book for a number of reasons. First, this book is not about writing emails, but about helping you find your perfect Russian bride in 90 days. Also, the skill of writing great emails that get women’s attention requires more than a few pages – I have an entire program, a system called “Magnetic Email” that discusses the intricacies of the issue. You can access a free webinar after registering your free profile at www.OksanaLove.com/Gift. I want you to be prepared when you begin writing to the woman of your dreams as it is an essential part of future success of your relationship.
Once you receive the templates, you will notice that each one of them is different in nature – this is because women from different categories have different priorities in their lives, they react to different things, they see life differently. Before you approach a woman, you need to understand what drives her, what matters to her. In this case you will be able to give a woman the sense that you “get her”, that you understand her and can relate – only then she will feel like she has met a like-minded person. This is very important!
Here are some basic categories of women you will encounter during your search:
Business woman
Student
Single mother
Divorced woman
Young professional (age 20-35)
Woman 35-45
Woman over 45
Keep in mind that a woman you will write to might fit into several different categories – for example, she may be a businesswoman raising a child on her own. In this case, you would need to mix and match to select the triggers to attract attention of this particular woman; you can browse through several applicable templates and create a perfect message for the particular woman you like.
By the way, when I speak of using triggers, I am not suggesting that you manipulate women – I want you to keep an open mind and to really try to relate to them. You can be successful at conquering women’s hearts only when you learn to understand them. When you will be able to feel their struggles, problems, and experiences as if they are your own, you will not even have to put any effort into establishing an emotional connection with these women. And once you’ve established an emotional connection, any woman will naturally want to be close to you; and women who will feel physical chemistry* will want to be with you forever. Brian Tracy’s quote comes to mind: “Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, “What’s in it for me?”
Many men often lack confidence when writing to Russian women because these wom
en are… too beautiful. They think that to approach such beautiful women requires a lot of money, buying expensive gifts, and looking like a Hollywood star. It is not true. Of course, women enjoy gifts, they like generous men, but they are more interested in a stable, genuine relationship and finding a man they can rely on. If you try to build a relationship with women based only on gifts, women will feel like you are trying to buy their affection and will keep their distance or they will use you because you permit it, so don’t complain that you ran into a gold-digger. Remember that the best way to impress a woman is to be affectionate, attentive, and honest. The devil really is in the details, so small things can make or break your relationship – if you make a woman feel like she is the most important thing to you in the whole world, she will adore you and consider you the best man in the world.
________________________________________
*You don’t have to look like a movie star. Physical chemistry is about the connection, about the exchange of compatible energy through your touch, kiss or physical contact. I will talk about this in detail in further chapters.
_________________________________________
What your Russian bride is not saying
We live in a high-tech world, today most people prefer to begin communication through their computer screen before meeting in person or sharing any personal interaction, even while living in the same city. Needless to say, it is one of the most preferred ways of communication with someone who lives across the ocean. Videos are a great way to gain an insight to what your Russian lady is really like and whether she is right for you. It is quite all right to meet a person virtually first before interacting face-to-face – in fact, there are several advantages to such an approach. You will find them below along with tips on how to make the most of such communication.
Appearance
While some people might consider it superficial, physical attraction is, no doubt, important if you plan to marry someone or form a long-term relationship with. Seeing your lady on video is a great way to see if she is as attractive in life as in her pictures and whether she suits your taste.
Spoken language
Listening is just as important in your video communication as looking. Asking the right questions and listening carefully to what your Russian lady is saying can explain many things to you and help you decide whether the two of you are compatible (note: use the tactics from the previous chapter to make sure you relate to a woman you are talking to). Talking live on video is a great way for you to find out all those things that can be sometimes difficult to express in emails: what her dreams are, what her family is like, what kind of life she is looking for, etc. Answers to these questions can really give you a valuable insight into her inner world and whether she is someone you can see yourself living with for the rest of your life.
It is also a great way to talk about some ‘sensitive’ matters – for example, your relationship, planning a visit, etc. Hearing her voice and seeing the expression on her face when talking about serious matters can give you a clue as to what she really thinks: if she speaks with confidence, it is a great sign; if she avoids the subject or sounds unsure, you will need to pay close attention to what is happening in your relationship.
Personality
One of the greatest benefits videos offer is being able to see someone’s true personality. Is your Russian lady serious? Is she cheerful and outgoing? Is she focused on business? For example, if you are looking for an educated, intellectual woman, and your woman only talks of soaps she watches, she is probably not the partner you are looking for. Videos allow you to make such judgments, so both of you can save time if you are not right for each other.
Body language
What is even more important to notice is your Russian lady’s body language or mannerisms. Does she have a confident posture? Does she keep her face down because she is shy? Does she fidget nervously? Is she expressive? Does she have a sad look in her eyes? All these things can reveal to you the information about a woman’s inner state: whether she is relaxed, depressed, easy-going, etc.
Examining your bride’s body language is very important as it can give you information you can’t get from letters or photos. It is also a well-known fact that Russians are masters of emotional camouflage – there will be a lot of hide-and-seek in relationships and dating Russian women. However, this doesn’t mean such women play games. Historically speaking, Russian “hiding” phenomenon dates back to the regime of Stalin, in 1930’s. People were closely monitored by the government and could often be taken away by the government officials for no obvious reasons, especially if they dared to speak their mind against the regime. Many times people simply disappeared with relatives having no idea where their loved ones were taken, and even your closest neighbor could spy and inform against you. This taught people to be very select in what they say and to contain their emotional displays.
These traits were passed from one generation to another behind the “iron curtain” and can still be found today in younger generations. I remember my grandmother saying to my mother – and later me – “Never show your entire ass to your husband”, meaning that a woman should not reveal all her emotional secrets to her husband. Another famous Russian saying illustrates this point very well: “A woman has to remain an unread book to her man, so he wants to continue reading it without losing interest.”
Thanks to the western influence, women in Eastern Europe began opening up and ridding themselves of the old ideas, yet, in my opinion, it will take several more generations to eliminate the habit of hiding emotions before people can feel free to open up about their thoughts, ideas, and emotions.
You will notice that Russian women who lived in the USA for more than 5 years are quite different from women who still reside in the former Soviet Union. Russian women living in the USA are a lot more open and feel a lot more comfortable talking about their feelings. Women from abroad require some time to get used to such freedom before they can be comfortable and trusting in opening their mind and heart to you.
In light of this, remember a few important things if you feel that your Russian beauty is not opening up to you during your video conversations:
- don’t jump to conclusions and don’t assume it’s your fault!
- it is not that she doesn’t trust you, it is about her genetic habit and former lifestyle;
- she will not open up on the first date (actual or virtual);
- she will need time to adjust;
- you need to be patient to gain trust of ANY Russian woman;
–––– Resource! ––––
I have recorded for you free video tutorials “The Path to the Russian Heart” which include a guide on reading Russian women’s body language (the first lesson in the series talks about this). After watching the video, you will know how to read your Russian woman’s postures and what signals about her opening up to you, as well as learn how to keep her relaxed and at ease during your conversation. The series are available to all members of my agency. You will receive the email with details of the video course after you’ve registered your profile on
www.OksanaLove.com/GIFT
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Phone rules
Many men become very nervous at the thought of speaking to their Russian woman on the phone. Indeed, it can be a challenge, but here are a few tips that will help you make this experience pleasant and beneficial.
First, I strongly recommend exchanging several emails before calling your woman, regardless of her location. Emails will help you establish some form of foundation, build excitement and anticipation. Emails are a MUST prior to making a phone call, especially if you are shy, – I would say 5-10 emails is a good number. While you might feel more comfortable communicating through emails, don’t drag it out – women like men of action, and if you keep writing instead of taking the next step, a woman might lose interest (this is especially true for USA based women) and wonder if you are real or whether you are reall
y interested in her.
Of course, you might want to call the person straight away, but I don’t recommend it. First, you don’t know how many people a woman is communicating with. If she suddenly receives a phone call from a man she doesn’t really know anything about, awkward moments are guaranteed – not something you want to start your relationship with. Second, without having at least some prior communication which can reveal common interests and give you an idea of your woman’s character, a phone conversation might get dull very quickly – it is highly likely that you will not have much to talk about or, worse, will start saying something silly in an attempt to fill up awkward silence.
And, as always, it is my pleasure to give you a perfect recipe to make your phone conversations smooth and easy.
EXCITEMENT is the key to your communication. It is contagious. Remember the times when you were around people who share their excitement with others – didn’t you love hearing passionate stories about people’s work, their lives, families, and activities? If you are an enthusiastic communicator, women will enjoy being around you – everyone likes to be around people who inspire others.
PREPARATION will make the whole thing easier. Prepare questions and possible conversations topics prior to calling her – then write them down. I’ve seen it happen too many times: men think they are ready, they have a few ideas of things they want to discuss with their Russian woman, but when they get her on the phone, all their ideas seem to vanish. You might never use your crib sheet, but it is best to have it in case you suddenly blank out. Remember, the girl you will be talking to will be twice as nervous as you, so you might have to take lead in the conversation.
Russian Allure Page 7
