I leaned up on my elbows to look, unable to speak. It was such a sweet gift. "Amazing."
"Yeah." He kissed the top of the ring and then circled my bellybutton again with his tongue and slid down to my jeans. This time he didn't stop. He pulled my jeans off and then my panties. And then he parted my legs and worked his magic between them, sucking, thrusting with his tongue, leaving me gasping with pleasure and clutching the sheets.
He circled and sucked until waves of pleasure like I'd never felt before crashed over me and I called out his name again and again. Finally, he looked up at me and grinned that sexy grin that melted my heart every time.
He climbed up the bed, on top of me, pulling me to him and kissing me. I slid my hands into his jeans and tried to shimmy them off.
Finally, he released me, slid off the bed and out of his jeans and underwear, long and hard and ready. I fell to my knees in front of him and took him in my mouth, licking him and sucking him, returning the favor until he came, too.
When I was done, he fell back onto the bed. I climbed naked on top of him and lay there.
"You really know how to make a guy go weak in the knees."
I kissed him lightly. "You're not the only person with a talented tongue." I slid off him and snuggled in next to him. "But you really know how to knot a cherry. I'll give you that."
He laughed, kissed me back, and pulled the covers over us. As we lay there, gently stroking each other, he grew hard again. "El." His voice was ragged as he pressed between my legs. "I want to make love to you in the worst way."
I bit my lip.
"I won't force you," he said, stroking my shoulder as I looked away from him. "What's stopping you? Don't you trust me?"
I didn't trust me. I didn't trust fate. I didn't trust my lies to stay hidden. "I don't want to make a mistake."
"We'll be careful. We'll use double, triple protection." He ran his fingers through my hair.
"I'm living proof that mistakes happen, Logan." I swallowed hard. "Against the greatest odds. My mom is the world's crappiest mom, but I'll always be grateful she had me. I ruined her life, though. I don't ever want to face that decision."
He kissed my hair. I felt like crying.
"It's okay." His voice was soft and soothing. "And you are not a mistake, Ellie Martin. Don't ever think that. I love you."
My heart almost broke then and there. I turned to face him. "I love you, too, Logan. I know I'm the one who still owes you one, but promise me no matter what happens you'll remember that."
He looked puzzled. "Yeah. Sure."
"Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"Once I make love to you once, I won't ever want to stop. I'll want to make love with you a zillion times a day, in every place possible. I'll lose myself. I'll get reckless." I paused. "That's how mistakes happen." I took a deep breath. "I'm not ready. Yet."
He nibbled my neck. "Yet?" I almost felt him smiling. "That means there's hope."
Logan made me breakfast the next morning—frozen chocolate-chip waffles he toasted in the toaster. And hazelnut coffee from his K-Cup machine with foamed milk he made in a frother. He set my coffee, a jar of peanut butter, and a bottle of real, one hundred percent maple syrup in front of me.
"What? No imitation maple syrup?" I teased. "What kind of a place is this? And what is the peanut butter for?"
"Your waffle." He grabbed his cup of coffee and plate of waffles and sat down across from me. His hair was tousled. His face had a sexy day's growth of stubble. "Try it, you'll like it." He grabbed the peanut butter and spread some on the end of my waffle, drizzled some pure maple syrup over it, cut a bite, and stuck it on my fork and held it out to me. "Open wide."
"I'm not a baby."
"Never said you were. But feeding you is kind of cute."
"I am so not sure about this." I rolled my eyes and took the bite he offered me, making a show of tasting it like celebrity chef judges on The Food Network.
"Well?" He handed my fork back to me.
"Very peanutty, with a nice maple kick. You're an excellent cook." I leaned over and kissed him, feeling the prickle of his stubble on my mouth. Everything about him turned me on.
"Yeah, I've worked really hard on my toasting skills. Believe it or not, it is an art."
I bumped him playfully in the shoulder, trying to think how to casually bring up the subject I had on my mind. I poured more syrup on my waffle and handed him the bottle. "How close are you and Jason?"
Logan set the syrup bottle down. "We're pretty tight. Why?"
"No reason. Except…well…"
"Spit it out, El."
"I was wondering, you know, how much you two talk about personal things. Now that you and I are, you know, together. I mean, he's my boss." What a big, fat liar I was. My heart beat double time. I was digging myself in too deep. When Logan found out the truth, I hoped he forgot about this conversation.
Logan laughed. "Are you afraid I'm going to tell him what I did to you with my tongue and how you liked it and begged for more?"
"Shut up, Walker! I'm serious." I paused, thinking of my dad hearing that story I blushed.
"You are so cute." He squeezed my hand. "I won't tell him our private stuff. I never have."
I tried not to look as relieved as I felt. "None of it?"
"How tight-lipped do you want me to be?" His tone was still light, but he looked a little puzzled.
"I just think we should keep our personal and professional lives separate."
"You don't want me to talk to him about you at all?" He studied me closely, like he was getting wary and wondering what I was up to.
"Only to sing my praises and tell him what a great job I'm doing."
"Right. Looking for a raise?" He picked up his coffee.
"Oh, yeah."
He shook his head like I was really amusing. "Okay, I'll stay away from you as a topic of conversation. Satisfied?"
I nodded. "Hey, what are your plans today? I thought we could hang out."
Logan hesitated, which was very strange. "Studying. I have a ton of crap to do—a massive lab report and a homework set that will take me all day."
"We could study together."
Once again there was that hesitation. "I'd love to, but not today. I have to meet with my lab partner. We're doing the lab report together.
I nodded. "Logan?"
He looked at me.
"You're not keeping anything from me, are you?"
"El! Come on."
I frowned, getting the definite feeling he was hiding something from me. "You're okay, right?"
"Yeah, of course I am." He flashed me that sexy smile. "Now shut up and eat your waffles."
Zave came stumbling out of his room in his boxers. "I smell waffles. Are you cooking again, Logan?"
"Zave, buddy, put some pants on. There's a lady present." Logan teasingly put his hands over my eyes.
I pulled them away.
"If there's a girl here, that's the last thing I want to do." Zave spotted me. "Hey, Ellie. Don't mind Walker. He's just afraid you'll see how a real man is hung and his assets will pale by comparison."
Logan shook his head. "In your dreams, pencil dick."
"Ha ha, needle prick. There's a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers in the bathroom. Make yourself happy." Zave shook his head. "Men with tiny pricks are so touchy."
He walked to the coffee machine and made a cup for himself before plopping down at the table next to me with his black coffee. "Hey, you were very funny last night at the hypnotist, Ellie. The best act there!" His gaze turned to Logan. "When Bob was making you cry, my roomie here looked like he wanted to jump out of the audience and take a swing at him." Zave laughed.
I froze and looked at Logan.
"I didn't. I wouldn't have," Logan said. "But he was pushing you too far."
"You cried very prettily," Zave said. "That's a compliment. Not many women do. Most get all red and puffy-eyed. Asking for Logan first when you were put in jail was very touc
hing, too." He made a sappy gesture, clasping his hands in front of his heart. "Maybe not quite as much as when you wanted your daddy and then asked for Jason. You had a little boss-daddy confusion going on there."
I paled. "I don't remember."
Zave took a sip of his coffee. "What's the saying—girls want a guy like dear old dad? Logan will have to watch you around Jason."
Logan tensed and set his jaw. Zave had hit a nerve. "Shut up, Zave. Ignore him, El. He's still drunk." He turned to Zave. "Drink your coffee and go back to bed and sleep it off."
"Sorry, Ellie. Sorry, Walker. You're right—I'm a douchebag when I'm hung over."
"You're forgiven, Zave." I grabbed Logan's hand. "And for the record—you have absolutely nothing to worry about with me and Jason." I tried to sound teasing and make light. "He is absolutely the last person I'd ever go for. He's old enough to be my dad." See? I was telling at least a partial truth.
Logan squeezed my hand back and laughed. "I don't think he's that old, El. But good to know you don't think he's hot."
I couldn't figure Logan out, and it made me insecure—a wonderful, romantic date on Saturday, and then he's too busy for me on Sunday. I knew engineering majors had a ton of homework, but I couldn't help feeling like he was blowing me off. Since Austin's betrayal, I had real trust issues. So maybe this was all in my head. When I looked at my brand new peridot bellybutton jewel, I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I was a flip-flopper—ecstatic one minute and doubting the next. And I couldn't stop the pattern. Was Logan up to something else? Would I see another girl mooning over him in missed connections while he was having coffee with someone like Amber?
And then there was that near miss at Up All Night where I almost betrayed my dad and gave away our secret. I debated messaging him all day. But what would that accomplish? He was at home with his wife and kid. Why upset him? So I decided to keep it to myself and bring it up on Tuesday at our coffee date. To keep my mind off my insecurities, I dove into my studies. The only problem was chemistry—it was easy now and made sense. But it reminded me of Byron.
On Sunday night as I was getting ready for bed, I got a text from Dex: Wear your black university sweatshirt to class tomorrow and put your hair in a ponytail.
I texted him back. Why are you suddenly so interested in my fashion choices?
Humor me, he replied.
Fine.
What was Dex up to now?
I hadn't heard from Logan all day. Why wasn't he texting me? I broke down and texted him. Get your studying done?
And then I waited, totally insecure, seeing how eager he was to text me back.
He texted right back: Still working on the report. Going to be a late night. There aren't enough hours in the day. My homework problem set for EE421 took me five hours. See you at work tomorrow.
On Monday, I was my usual nearly-late-to-class self. I was hardly paying attention to anyone around me as I texted Dex to ask him where he was sitting. He immediately texted back his location. I looked up and around the auditorium, into a sea of black university sweatshirts. Over half the class was dressed like I was, and almost all the girls had their hair in ponytails.
I couldn't help myself. I broke out laughing. I found Dex and slid in next to him. "Black sweatshirts, really?"
"And ponytails. If you'll notice, I even got a few guys to put their hair up." He grinned. "Let's see Byron find you now."
"I said no pranks." But I was laughing.
"This isn't a prank. This is a show of school spirit. Nothing wrong with that."
"It's not even game day."
He grinned. "Sure it is—Where's Ellie game day."
Just then Byron came out of the instructor's door and walked to the podium.
"This should be fun," Dex whispered to me.
Byron looked into the auditorium and actually jumped, like he was startled to see that sea of school spirit. He looked almost scared, like he should be worried that something was up.
"This is more fun than I expected," Dex said.
When Byron spoke, his voice cracked and his gaze went directly to where I usually sat. He looked puzzled at first, and then obviously, like really obviously, disappointed.
Dex shook his head. "I should get an A just for running this successful experiment. You were definitely right—he's looking for you. We're going to have to mix it up next time."
I pursed my lips and made thin eyes at him. "You mean like wear our red university gear?"
"That's exactly it." He grinned. "And baseball caps."
"Dex, that's too mean."
"Come on, Ellie—where's the harm? It's not like we're doing anything destructive. Can I help it if Byron is pathologically nervous?"
"How did you even do this?" I said.
"I have my ways."
Then it dawned on me. Earlier in the semester he'd organized an email campaign to try to get rid of Dr. Rogers.
"You're using the list," I said.
He put a finger to his lips. "I'm trying to listen to your boyfriend's lecture, Ellie. Pay attention."
"Shut up!" I punched him playfully in the arm.
I showed up for work that afternoon with a six-pack of Red Bull for Logan. I'd used my dining hall account dollars to buy it in the market. It was sitting on my desk with a ribbon on it when he arrived.
He pointed to it. "Going to do some heavy drinking? Anticipating an all-nighter?"
"Not mine, yours. That's for you, late-night-study guy. Did you get any sleep last night?"
He grinned. "About two hours."
I handed the six-pack to him. "Then you really need this."
As he took it, he leaned across my desk like he wanted to kiss me. I shook my head almost imperceptibly and mouthed, Not in the office.
He frowned. "No one's looking."
But this was the office, and now that my boss was also my dad and knew it, I didn't want him seeing how into Logan I really was. Though in retrospect, the Red Bull might have given that away. According to our agreement, I was supposed to be seriously thinking about my relationship with Logan. And I was—I had decided I was hanging on to it for all I was worth.
Just then, Jason, who'd been out when I arrived, stepped into the office. I gave Logan a look that said, See?
He made a growling sound deep in his throat.
I laughed.
"Logan, there you are. I need to talk to you about some technical problems we're having in the family science building." His gaze landed on me like he wasn't happy to see Logan being so familiar with me.
Logan straightened up and smiled at Jason. "Hey, boss. Have a good weekend?"
Jason glanced at me with a concerned, fatherly look. "It was all right. I heard Ellie was a hit at the hypnosis show."
Uh-oh. Great, my dad had spies everywhere. Exactly what had he heard?
Jason's tone was teasing, but there was a new familiarity in it. It may have been my imagination, but I think Logan caught it.
"Yeah, she was a star," Logan said, with just a trace of a frown as his gaze bounced between Jason and me. "Who squealed?"
Jason smiled. "I never reveal my sources." His tone was light, but he flashed me a look that said we had things to discuss at our coffee date.
Chapter Eleven
On Tuesday I arrived first for my standing meeting at The College Grind with Jason. I ordered my coffee, grabbed a table in the corner, and watched for him like a spy waiting for her informant. He arrived right on time, waved to me, ordered, and took the chair across from me.
This time we dispensed with the fake greetings. No Hey, what are you doing heres for us.
"It's dangerous meeting here," I whispered to him. "My friend Kirk saw us last week and got the wrong impression."
"You set him straight?" Jason said.
I nodded.
"We should be fine, then. This is the most innocuous public place I can think of. I'm a regular. I always come here Tuesday mornings. Lyssa will think nothing of it if she hears."
&nb
sp; "But always running into me? Isn't that a little too much coincidence?"
Jason seemed to consider the point. "Not now that it's your usual habit, too. You're a typical college kid—you drink a lot of coffee, right? And this is the most popular place on campus."
I smiled at him and nodded.
"I have a reputation for mentoring students. Let's just make you my latest victim." He grinned evilly.
I laughed. "So that's what I am?"
The barista called out his drink order. He popped up to get it. When he returned to his seat, he jumped right into conversation. "You nearly gave us away at the hypnosis show." He sounded sympathetic.
I was stunned. I thought he'd be mad. Jason really was a different kind of guy than I was used to. I nodded. "Yeah. Fortunately no one even thinks you're old enough to be my dad."
He looked stressed, but he smiled. "I get that a lot. People think I'm younger than I am. It's been hell on my career. No one thinks I'm old enough to be in charge."
I shook my head. "You know many women would kill for a problem like that?" I thought of my mom and her constant quest for youth. "So maybe I've inherited some good genes?"
He grinned as he took a sip of coffee. "Maybe. I hope so."
"That's not the whole problem. Even when they know how old you are, they think you're too young," I said. "You were a young dad."
"Yeah. And here I thought I was an old dad." He made a funny face.
We both laughed.
I turned serious. "I'm sorry I almost gave us away. No more hypnosis for me. I promise." I paused. "Lying to Logan is killing me. I keep feeling like I'm digging myself in deeper, that when he finds out, it's really going to hurt him. I know all the reasons, and they're good ones, but…"
"But we need an exit strategy," Jason finished for me. "I know. I feel crappy for keeping this from Lyssa, too. And I've been working on it, at least on the job front. I've been contacting other departments. I have a few leads on a position for you for next semester."
"That's good news. I guess." I loved where I worked. I loved the work and being near Logan and Jason.
"I know. I wish you could keep working for me, too." He set his coffee cup down. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
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